Promise
by IDontKnowYourSignal
Summary: Life is full of promise. After all, it's part of the human condition. It's the potential, the possibilities, that we rely on, that we draw on, when hope starts to fade. It's the grounds for expectation, anticipation. It's all the assurances and declarations that encourage us to expose our vulnerable hearts.
1. Chapter 1

**There's always a Siren, singing you to shipwreck  
** ** _(don't reach out, don't reach out)  
(don't reach out, don't reach out)  
_** **Stay away from the rocks, we'd be a walking disaster  
** ** _(don't reach out, don't reach out)  
(don't reach out, don't reach out)_**

 **Just because you feel it, doesn't mean it's there…**

 **"** **There There" Radiohead, "Hail to the Thief" (2003)**

Georg von Trapp decided that he disliked parties, balls and, right at that very moment, probably every other type of social event he could think of. Sadly, for the past two years, this is what his life had become. A distraction of too much drinking, dining on the finest food and idle, irrelevant conversation. He'd never been someone who'd enjoyed such meaningless preoccupations.

The irony wasn't lost on him. He'd been trying to force some meaning back into his life, had been so hell-bent on reinventing himself, that over time he'd become one of those people that he'd always despised. He'd transformed himself so much over the past two years, he now barely recognised himself. Since his return to the villa, he'd grown to see that the more he'd forced himself to become part of the social set, the further he'd drifted away from what was really important. It had been made clear to him.

After several wines and whatever spirits were on hand, most evenings, he could eventually tolerate the attention that came his way and the endless small talk. But tonight he'd barely had a drop to drink. Tonight was different. After tonight, everything would be different.

The first social event held at the villa since Agathe's passing was proving more challenging than he could have ever imagined. Four interminable years had passed. It had really only been over the last few months that the pain had started to subside. Only in recent weeks had he been able to speak about the past without his voice catching or his heart breaking. Even so, there had still been moments and memories tonight that had caught him off guard. He knew there would be. But they weren't the only things that had caught him by surprise.

Tonight, he'd been so determined to fortify himself against the memories of Agathe that he'd left himself horribly exposed on what had turned out to be his weakest flank. He cursed himself. It had been entirely predictable. But there was no way he could have anticipated the impact. It had left him completely rattled. More than he could ever have imagined. He was still shaken.

Taking a measured sip from his glass, he savoured the Romanee-Conti Burgundy. For a few small seconds, he was able to forget everything and just marvel at the mastery of a vigneron blessed with the bounty of a truly special vintage. But all too quickly, his thoughts were back at the dining table. Not for the first time, he found himself considering how strange that the table was full of people immersing themselves in fine wine, hearty food and noisy conversation, yet he felt so utterly alone. Try as he might, he couldn't shift his attention away from the one person who wasn't there.

"Georg, I must compliment your Cook on yet another fine meal," Max leaned over raising his glass in the air. "I think she may have outdone herself tonight!"

Georg looked past the empty place towards his friend and gave him a thin smile. Glancing around the table, he could see that Frau Petering's efforts had been well received, with most plates now emptied of their main courses. Unfortunately, every time he'd forced a mouthful on himself, he could barely swallow it without it getting stuck in his throat. He was feeling more unsettled, more ill at ease, than when he'd sat down at the head of the table a little over an hour ago. He placed his cutlery down on his half-finished plate of food, realising that trying to force himself to eat any more was futile.

Thankful that Max had quickly turned away to resume his conversation with the Elberfelds, Georg was again left with his own thoughts. Almost immediately, he found himself trying to ignore the empty seat between him and Max. He'd been trying to ignore it throughout the entire meal. So far, unsuccessfully.

Forcing a nod and a smile several seats down the length of the table, he'd somehow managed to catch a witty remark from one of his former lieutenants that had been directed his way. But it wasn't long before he was back, alone, with his thoughts.

After his early years at the naval academy, Georg served in the navy for twenty years, making him a military man to the core. His world had to be disciplined, structured, methodical. He needed to be in control. But tonight, he felt like everything had spiralled out of control. Pulling at his collar with his forefinger, Georg felt like he was suffocating. But it had nothing to do with the starched collar of his crisp white shirt, the Maria Theresa medal around his neck or the blasted bow tie.

Turning to him, Elsa patted his hand. "Georg, darling, please stop fidgeting," she whispered under her breath without letting either façade of gracious hostess or guest of honour slip. It hadn't escaped her attention that Georg was distracted. It was obvious in the way he kept glancing around expecting to catch sight of that young slip of a girl in the doorway. She returned his thin smile with a much more radiant one of her own. Thankfully, all of that seemed to have taken care of itself. Certain that a few more hours in her company and he'll have forgotten all about the silly nonsense from earlier in the evening, Elsa turned her attention to Herr Schultz and his wife seated to her right.

Georg smiled at Elsa. He knew he owed her so much, but sadly he couldn't give her the one thing she wanted. His heart had always belonged to Agathe. He'd made it clear to Elsa that it always would. But now he wasn't so sure, and that thought unsettled him more than he could imagine.

Unable to stop himself, he stole another glance towards his left. He couldn't remember a time when he'd felt so wracked by guilt, so embarrassed by his behaviour. But there was another feeling he couldn't shake. Despite all of his guilt, he could barely hide his elation. Even though two hours had passed, he could still feel his pulse racing. It was impossible to ignore. Impossible to understand. _What in God's name was happening to him?_

Something had stirred feelings that had laid dormant. The sheer excitement of having felt something real, something raw, for the first time in four years was overwhelming. And he knew he hadn't been alone. That's what he found so thrilling. Even after four years of excruciating hell, he could still recognise _that_ look. He wasn't mistaken. She'd felt it too. That's what was so exhilarating.

He knew he was playing with fire earlier in the evening. It was a game he'd been playing well before he'd stepped into the courtyard to interrupt Maria's dance lesson with Kurt. Before he'd tapped his son on the head and reached out with a gloved hand and an unguarded plea in his eyes. No, the game had begun long before they'd started hop-stepping and spinning their way through the early steps of the Laendler.

If he was honest, his feelings had been brewing for days, probably weeks. Long before he'd pulled Maria against him in those final steps of the dance. He'd been fighting this thing since his return from Vienna.

Before returning to the villa, he'd actually hoped that the children would have seen off their twelfth governess just as efficiently as they had the previous eleven. Instead, what had been bubbling just beneath the surface finally burst into life tonight in the courtyard in those final steps of the Laendler. He'd held her so close, he could still feel the imprint of her body against his. He could still taste the air that they'd shared as they both tried to catch their breath, her familiar scent still floated around him now.

It had taken every ounce of restraint to stop himself from leaning into her and brushing his lips against hers. Somehow time had stood still, they'd stopped spinning, but still clung to each other, unable to let go. When he'd finally released Maria's hand that he'd held above their heads, he could barely resist the impulse to rake his fingers through her hair. He'd somehow fought the need to pull her closer, to hold her, to kiss her, to taste her sweetness… _Dear God!_ He'd been seducing the governess in front of his children and the woman he was supposed to be courting. _Heaven help him!_

Yes, Georg knew that he'd been playing a game when it came to Maria. It had started innocently enough, but had now taken a dangerous turn. It had been going on for weeks. Perhaps it had started after their argument on the landing. But up until now, it had just been a game. There'd been the teasing, the playful arguments. Over the weeks he'd been surprised to find that he enjoyed her company and was challenged by her quick wit. Their weekly meetings to discuss the children's progress had quickly become more frequent and less about the children. He'd soon found that his meetings with Maria had become his favourite part of the day.

He couldn't pinpoint when exactly things had changed, when he'd found himself seeking her out, needing her approval, missing her when hours had passed and he hadn't seen her, caught her laugh or heard her footsteps in the distance. But he thought he'd been in control. He'd convinced himself that he was on safe ground. How wrong he'd been.

After their heated looks the night of the puppet show, he'd spent the past weeks reining things in. Up until tonight he could convince himself that it was just a game that only he'd been playing. But tonight, that had all changed. It was no longer a game. Tonight it had been laid bare, and it was unmistakable. He never imagined that he'd see his longing, his hunger, reflected in Maria's eyes. Not even in his wildest dreams. And, oh, there had been dreams…

But he couldn't have stopped himself tonight, even if he wanted to. And he wasn't even certain, now as he tried to find any feeble reason to justify his behaviour, that he would do anything different. Faced with the opportunity again, the burning need to touch Maria, to feel her in his arms, given the choice, he would probably do it all again.

It was impossible to defend his behaviour.

He felt terrible that Elsa had witnessed everything. Elsa had dragged him out of his miserable existence two years ago, saving him from himself and giving his life some sort of meaning. She didn't deserve such shabby treatment.

He deserved Elsa's sarcastic reprimand and cool reception, and so much more.

To compound the whole sorry mess, after the children's performance, Max had invited Maria to join them for dinner. Georg cringed inwardly and felt a new wave of guilt as he recalled Maria's response. Even with his back to her, he'd heard the hesitation and doubt in her voice as she tried to fend off Max's invitation. But what had he done? He'd acted as if he couldn't care less. He'd still been so shaken by what had just happened in the courtyard, he couldn't even trust himself to turn to look at her. He knew that if he saw that longing in her eyes, he couldn't trust his own reaction, not while he was still struggling to gather his thoughts so soon after nearly kissing her in front of the children and Elsa.

So, instead of offering her reassurance, he'd given her indifference. Barely acknowledging her, despite what they'd shared moments earlier. He'd thrown a glib comment over his shoulder with a wave of his glove. The guilt was tearing him apart, even now. He was desperate to see her and beg her forgiveness. _God he hated himself._

Looking across the room, his thoughts were interrupted by Herr Zeller sharing a joke with his Nazi henchmen. Barely able to disguise his disgust, Georg was still fuming from his earlier encounter with Zeller. What the hell were they doing in his home? He still couldn't believe that Elsa had invited them. But then, as he glanced sadly around the room, he wondered how many of his friends and acquaintances would soon find themselves being forced to side with such madmen. It was a troubling thought.

Unable to bear the burden of the empty place next to him any longer, Georg caught the eye of Franz who was standing beside the doorway of the dining room overseeing the waiting staff. Georg nodded at the empty place to his left, and watched as Franz moved across to deftly remove the cutlery and the linen serviette while the waiting staff removed the main course plates. He couldn't miss the butler's amused look. His contempt for Maria had been thinly veiled from that first day, when he'd knocked on the study door to announce her arrival.

As soon as the tableware was removed and the chair discretely moved back against the wall, Max shuffled his chair closer to Georg, despite the thunderous look from his friend.

"I do wonder what happened to our young Fraulein," Max whispered conspiratorially under his breath. "I was rather looking forward to sharing an interesting and lively conversation for a change," he said smoothing out his moustache. "She has such a freshness about her, doesn't she?" he added with a smile.

"Max, I'm sure Fraulein Maria is thankful that the children have spared her from your badgering," Georg replied sharply. He found Max's comments a little disconcerting. And he certainly didn't like Max showing such an interest in Maria. _Good God, was he jealous?_

"Yes, I'm sure the children are still wide awake with all the excitement," Max agreed. "But Georg, just imagine what they could do at the festival…"

But Georg wasn't listening. He was only vaguely aware of Max talking about the children and their talents. His mind had drifted off to Maria. For what seemed like the hundredth time in the past hour, he wondered where she was. What had kept her? It had been almost two hours since she'd followed the children up the stairs. Had it really taken her so long to get the children off to sleep? Perhaps Max was right, but then what did Max know about children.

As he watched dessert being served by the waiting staff, he decided he would check in on the children as soon as the meal was finished. He knew Maria would still be with them, after all she'd become like a mother to them. It had only been a few hours, but he missed her desperately. He had to admit that Max was right about one thing. Maria definitely was a breath of fresh air.

The sooner he saw Maria, the sooner he could start fixing the unholy mess he'd created. But that was only part of his problems. He also needed to speak to Elsa. _God, what a mess!_

How the hell did it come to this?

ooooXXXXoooo

Waiting at the bus stop, Maria shifted uncomfortably on the wooden bench. She'd decided some time ago that the grey dress she was wearing must be made of the most uncomfortable material ever woven. She knew she should be thankful for it, but it really was horrible. It was coarse and stiff, making it incredibly scratchy. Little wonder the poor didn't want it. At least it provided some warmth against the cool air. She should at least be thankful for that.

Maria had no idea how long she'd have to wait, but she hoped it wouldn't be much longer. She probably should have some idea of the bus timetable. It would be useful at times like this. But then, she never was one to plan too far ahead. Why would she have imagined there might be a time when she'd need to know such things? She really hadn't imagined finding herself here. Not like this. Not in her wildest dreams. Although, this was more like her worst nightmare.

It had all begun so well. It always did. But why did she have to get so horribly distracted? Again. Why did she have to lose sight of God's will? Was this what the Reverend Mother had been trying to tell her over the past years? What everyone else at the Abbey seemed to understand except her?

She was trying not to think any further ahead than the bus ride. But as time ticked by it was getting harder. It was hard to know what worried her more. The mess she was leaving behind or what was waiting for her at the other end. Wondering if a bus was ever going to appear, she could feel the telltale sting in her eyes as she desperately tried to ignore all the thoughts running around in her head. But that was proving impossible. There was so much to think about.

Having already shed some tears, Maria told herself she wasn't going to cry again. But she could barely breathe, the emotions were almost choking her. Biting down hard on the sobs that threatened to escape, a single tear spilled over and started tracking a slow path down her cheek.

How did it come to this?

 **I've had this story rattling around in my head for a while now and have finally had a chance to make a start. Thank you for reading, please let me know your thoughts!**

 **I know it's been a theme in a few TSOM stories, but Maria is such an obvious Siren when it comes to Georg - the poor man can't help himself! Radiohead's "There There" is based on Homer's Odyssey, where the Sirens use their song to try to tempt the passing sailors towards them, often causing them to steer into the rocks at their peril. Check out the acoustic version on YouTube, Thom Yorke's vulnerability is haunting. Otherwise, the foreboding live performance at Glastonbury 2003 is truly breathtaking. As the song reaches its peak, the swell of the crowd mimics the raging sea.**

 **I still don't own TSOM, back having a lend!**


	2. Chapter 2

**We are accidents  
Waiting  
Waiting to happen**

 **"** **There There" Radiohead, "Hail to the Thief" (2003)**

After many years of practice and experience, Elsa Schrader had become well versed in the art of maintaining one's public persona. Even in the face of untold inner turmoil, it was essential to keep a firm hold on a carefully crafted façade. It couldn't slip. Showing a glimpse of what really lay underneath was unthinkable. Unforgivable. Right now, though, it was proving to be a far greater challenge than she could have ever imagined.

Tonight, Elsa found herself in the enviable position of not only hosting the grandest party the von Trapp villa had seen for several years, but also being the party's guest of honour. Despite Georg being a reluctant host, the party was being held to formally introduce her to his friends and acquaintances. The power brokers and social elite of Salzburg, along with some old navy colleagues and a number of her friends who had travelled from Vienna for the occasion.

Elsa knew she was born for both roles. She was a natural. As hostess, her greatest gift was seeing to the smallest of details, ensuring a smooth, seamless evening that would continue to be talked about for weeks. As the orchestra played the strains of a familiar waltz, she glided into the ballroom. Glancing around with an air of sophisticated calm, she couldn't help stopping for a moment to congratulate herself. The evening certainly exuded all the class and glamour a ball at the von Trapp villa deserved.

Of course, it hadn't been too great a challenge. After all, it had been easy bringing a little Viennese style to a sleepy Salzburg that wasn't accustomed to such sophistication. And her task could not have been made easier. She had such a wonderful canvas to work with, surrounded by the opulence of the ballroom's gilded walls inlaid with painted scenes from a bygone era. Even as her eyes moved amongst the guests, the majesty of the room wasn't lost on her. But right now, she didn't have time to marvel at the decor of the ballroom. And now wasn't the time for self-congratulation. She was distracting herself.

Squaring her shoulders, she reminded herself that she had to remain focused. Surely, after tonight, the long overdue announcement of her engagement to Austria's most eligible man would be a mere formality. Especially now. But she couldn't allow herself to relax. Not just yet. Not when she was so close.

As the guest of honour, above all else she needed to maintain her poise and charm. Reminding herself that she radiated more natural style and grace than any of the other women in the room, she scanned the crowd of partygoers with renewed confidence. It had been wavering since she'd unwittingly stepped out into the courtyard earlier in the evening. But she couldn't afford to think about that now. She'd already dealt with that little distraction.

Not finding what she was searching for in the ballroom, she turned and gracefully made her way towards the double doors that led out to the foyer, carefully hiding any disappointment and lingering concerns.

Appearing to have all the time in the world, she graciously stopped and smiled, accepting the compliments of several guests for the wonderful meal they had just enjoyed. Yes, she had to agree that Georg certainly had a gifted cook. Frau Petering's talents combined with her skill in choosing each of the courses had ensured that no one left the dining table disappointed.

Making her way into the foyer, she steadied her steps, knowing that it wouldn't do to be seen rushing. Somewhere in the distance, she caught Georg's distinct, clipped tone above the din of the guests. Catching sight of him across the crowded foyer at the bottom of the stairs, she could feel her breath catch. It was always the same. The man was impossibly handsome, and that permanent dark, brooding air of his gave him a dangerous edge that was irresistible.

Allowing herself to finally relax, she moved gracefully across the foyer towards him. As she closed the distance, she could now see that Georg was caught in deep conversation with an old navy friend. Slowing, she smiled knowingly. Now that she could relax, she stopped to squeeze the arm of a dear friend who had travelled from Vienna, promising to catch up properly and discuss the latest gossip from home later in the evening.

As Elsa drew to within a few paces, Georg and his friend turned towards her and smiled.

"Ah, there you are Georg, darling," Elsa smiled at him.

"Elsa, you remember Baron Adler?" Georg smiled, nodding towards his friend as he automatically placed his hand on Elsa's lower back. Cursing to himself, he wondered if there could possibly have been any more obstacles put in his way since he left the dining table. That had been almost an hour ago. It seemed like an age. But, almost immediately, he reprimanded himself for such ungrateful thoughts. He was supposed to be hosting a party, after all.

"Of course, how could I forget?" Elsa extended a gloved hand towards the Baron, who she'd been introduced to earlier in the evening.

"Please, call me Karl," the Baron smiled warmly, bowing his head as he took Elsa's hand. "Let's not stand on ceremony."

"Well, then, I insist that you call me Elsa."

" _Elsa_ , I must compliment you on orchestrating such a wonderful party," there was genuine warmth in his words. "Georg has refused to accept any of my compliments, he tells me that you are solely responsible."

"Karl, you are too kind," Elsa gushed, Baron Adler's words ringing true in her ears. Not only had she taken care of all the arrangements herself, she'd practically forced Georg to hold the party in the first place. If she hadn't cornered him in front of his children, Elsa knew she'd still be waiting for a proper introduction to his friends and acquaintances. "Now, I hope you don't mind if I steal this man for a dance!" she continued as she turned towards Georg, grasping his upper arm a little too tightly.

Georg smiled at Elsa, patting her hand as he felt her grip loosen.

"Go Georg, you don't want to disappoint the lovely lady!" the Baron chuckled as he waved Georg toward the direction of the ballroom.

"We will finish this conversation later, my friend!" Georg said conspiratorially, as he lent in and flicked his white, kid gloves against his friend's chest.

Georg smiled at Elsa again as they turned and started making their way through the crowded foyer towards the ballroom. She could see that his smile didn't reach his eyes. But then, it rarely did.

As they made their way across the foyer, Georg lifted his eyes instinctively towards the upper landing. He didn't really know what he was searching for, or what he expected to see. But one thing he knew was that he owed Elsa a dance at the very least. He also owed her so much more. Starting with an apology for his earlier behaviour. But that was just the beginning. He knew he owed it to Elsa to be more attentive and focused, but it was impossible. Try as he might, he just couldn't stop his mind from drifting to thoughts of Maria.

As they neared the ballroom, Elsa glanced sideways and noticed Georg's eyes searching the landing along the children's wing. As she'd suspected, he'd been on his way upstairs. The way he was behaving at dinner, it had been so obvious. She'd been lucky that he'd run into his old friend. Elsa knew it wouldn't do Georg any good to know what had happened earlier in the evening. But by some strange little twist, she'd promised the girl that she wouldn't say anything. Smiling, she knew that was a promise that she intended to keep. No, best that Georg didn't know that after their little chat the nun had packed her few belongings and was headed back to the Abbey where she belonged. Elsa could forgive Georg the occasional little distraction, he was a man after all, but not tonight. This was her night, and she shouldn't find herself fighting for his attention.

Georg slipped his hands into his gloves as they entered the ballroom. Despite appearances, despite the smiles and nods towards several guests, he was still cursing to himself. After sitting through dinner for what had seemed like an eternity, he'd had one goal in mind. He'd almost made it onto the stairs. He was still annoyed that he'd only been a few paces and a handful of seconds away from avoiding Karl's ambush. He'd been so close to making his way up the stairs towards the children's wing.

He knew it was wrong. He knew he was being entirely unfair to Elsa. But until he saw Maria again, he knew he couldn't relax. He knew it would be impossible to calm down. His need to see Maria was fuelled by a mixture of heady anticipation and overwhelming guilt. Even now, hours later, he could barely contain the feelings and excitement that had been stirred while dancing with Maria in his arms. His pulse was still racing, his thoughts were chaotic and all his nerve endings felt like they'd been awakened after being numb for years. But first, he had to apologise to Maria for his appalling behaviour after the children's performance.

Waving off another old navy friend who was beckoning him across the room to join the group, no doubt to share old war stories, Georg marvelled at how easily he wore the façade of nonchalant aristocrat these days. It was all just part of the pretence that he'd become so expert at over the past years. Pretending to enjoy these meaningless events, pretending to be entertained by the gossip and frivolous conversation. Pretending that he would prefer to be nowhere else but right here, right at this very moment. It was all a charade. Tonight, it seemed to be more so than ever.

As much as he wanted to, he knew that he couldn't just shed the mask he'd created and leave all the pretence behind. He knew that he just needed to get through a few dances with Elsa. He just needed to get to the end of this ridiculous party. Then he could start fixing the mess he'd created through his own stupidity and thoughtlessness. Yes, this mess was all of his own making. _God, even he could see how despicable his behaviour had been._

As they made their way across the ballroom to where other couples were dancing, Georg shifted his hand that was on Elsa's back down to her waist and pulled her towards him. Careful to maintain a respectable distance, he grasped her hand as they fell into step to the strains of Strauss, moving around the room with a familiarity and effortless ease.

For the first time since that little episode in the courtyard, Elsa felt herself relax. Finally, she'd put the evening back on track and was now back in her rightful place. Being waltzed around the room in Georg's arms, the envy of every other woman in the room. Rewarding him with a radiant smile, she tried not to notice that he could only manage a thin smile before quickly looking away. Maintaining her poise, she knew that it was always the same. There was always something that was missing. That thing that she couldn't quite define. Would it always be that way, she wondered?

Georg had told her from the beginning that Agathe still had hold of his heart. It was something she'd been willing to accept, despite his concerns. Since they'd met, she'd grown used to him being stern, unemotional, detached. Gradually, he'd softened over time and, occasionally, he would allow himself to relax and she would glimpse a playful side. But too quickly, the walls would be back in place and the distant, brooding man would return.

Before turning her eyes away from Georg, she could see that he was lost in his own thoughts. He often was. She knew that tonight was always going to be difficult for him. Everything tonight would be tinged with memories of Agathe. Over the years, Elsa had become used to sharing Georg with the ghost of his wife. The four years since Agathe's passing had done little to heal his heart, but she was thankful how far he'd come compared to the broken man she'd met two years ago

Over time, Elsa had often found herself wondering about Georg's relationship with Agathe. Even though she'd never known Agathe and had only met Georg two years ago when Max introduced him to her at a party in Vienna, she often wondered about his relationship with his wife. She would find herself comparing it to the one she had with Georg. Had Agathe also fallen in love with the distant, solitary man? Had she also learnt to accept Georg's complex nature? His wit and humour, his remoteness and lack of affection?

She'd never expected public displays of affection from Georg, but she found it puzzling that his lack of intimacy extended to when they were alone. He was a man after all, and it wasn't like they hadn't both been married before. She'd assumed that a physical relationship would eventually be a natural progression. It hardly reconciled with a man who'd fathered seven children and who had a wicked reputation from his single days in the navy. Somehow, over time, Elsa had convinced herself that she and Agathe had known and loved the same man.

But now, as he held her at arm's length, turning her with his usual grace and precision around the dance floor, she couldn't erase the images from earlier in the evening. They would be forever burnt in the front of her mind. She knew that they would be back to taunt her later tonight. She would never forget the image of how he'd held the children's governess while dancing the Laendler. How he'd clung to her as if frightened to let go.

Perhaps that's why she'd been so rattled by what she saw in the courtyard. She'd witnessed a side of Georg that she hadn't even dreamed existed. She hadn't even imagined. He'd been so absorbed and focused on the girl that he'd lost all sense of his surrounds. It seemed he'd even forgotten that his children were watching on while he was dancing so improperly with their governess. Who, by the way, was on her way to becoming a nun. Or was supposed to be.

Georg had been so distracted that he hadn't even noticed her in the courtyard. He was practically seducing the girl in full view of the guests. The intensity had almost been unbearable. The heated looks between them overwhelming. As he turned her in the final steps of the Laendler, as he pulled her flush against himself, Elsa was almost certain that Georg was going to lean in and kiss the girl. Her heart had been in her mouth as she'd waited for what seemed like an eternity before they eventually let go of each other, and finally seemed to remember themselves and where they were.

Perhaps what hurt Elsa the most, what crushed her now, was that Georg had never looked at her like that. With such intensity. With such a desperate longing. Never. Would he ever, she wondered.

Holding her head high, Elsa knew that she now had her answer to the question that often ran through her mind. She now understood why Georg had been so broken hearted. She could now imagine Georg's relationship with Agathe. Oh yes, she now knew. And the contrast could not be any greater.

As Georg held her at arm's length, she could now picture how he held Agathe. After two years, she'd finally witnessed the real Georg. Maintaining her cool façade, Elsa could feel the sting of tears as she realised that it wasn't her who had brought the great Georg von Trapp undone. Maybe it never would be.

Georg looked across the top of Elsa's head as he propelled them mechanically around the room. As he stared off into the distance, at nothing in particular, the contrast wasn't lost on him. Dancing with Elsa, there was no urge to pull her closer. His body wasn't aching to feel her against him. He didn't feel alive and on edge. Even if he was struck with the impulse to rake his fingers through Elsa's coiffed hair, as he glanced down at all the pins and clips, he realised sadly that he wouldn't even know where to start.

Catching sight of Max surveying the crowd from the edge of the room, Elsa afforded her good friend a smile. Max raised his full glass of champagne in salute, just before Georg turned her around and Max disappeared out of sight. Elsa knew that it wasn't time to toast victory just yet. But at least Max gave her some much needed confidence to tell herself that she'd only done what any other woman in her position would have done. The girl should have known better than to set her sights above her station. After all, she was only at the villa as the children's governess until the end of the summer holidays. What did it matter if she left a few weeks earlier than planned?

At least this would make it easier to convince Georg over the remainder of the holidays that the children should be sent to boarding school. After all, they needed to learn some discipline. Heaven knows she'd only ever seen them running wild since she arrived at the villa. Georg was too caught up in the governess' girlish charms to notice. It would also give the older girls a chance to prepare for being launched into society. She just hoped that it wasn't too late for Liesl. At least there was still time left to teach Louisa to curb her ways, which had only been encouraged by the tomboy governess.

Yes, Elsa was prepared to share her man with the memories of his deceased wife, memories that he still found impossible to let go. But she was damned if she would share Georg with the distraction of the children's governess. A silly young girl who had promised herself to a life of chastity and serving God.

No, Elsa reasoned, she'd only helped push things along their natural course.

ooooXXXXoooo

The only sounds that pierced the dark night air were the frogs calling to each other across the lake in the distance, and the occasional, mournful call of a lone owl. Maria had always thought the owl made such a sad, lonely sound. Tonight, though, its call just seemed so much sadder. Somehow, it was fitting. Its melancholy notes weighed even more heavily in the night's chill air, as Maria realised that she'd probably missed the last bus for the evening.

To make things worse, if she closed her eyes and listened hard enough, she could hear the strains of the orchestra from the villa. Or was she just imagining it? Was this God's way of reminding her? A mocking reminder of her shame and humiliation? Unable to block out the noise and with no other option, Maria could only sit at the bus stop and wait. She shivered as she wondered again, for what seemed like the hundredth time in the past hours, whether she would have to sit and wait until morning. She didn't know how long she'd already been waiting, it must be three or four hours. But it was impossible to tell. With only her thoughts to keep her company, she really had no idea.

At least the tears had stopped falling. But that had nothing to do with her suddenly pulling herself together. She hadn't suddenly found a new pool of inner strength to draw on. After crying herself dry, Maria didn't have any tears left.

Her head ached, her eyes were sore and puffy, her throat was dry and her heart felt like it had been shattered into tiny pieces. She felt awful, and knew that she probably looked worse. She smiled grimly to herself. Perhaps it was a good thing she was out in the darkness by herself.

Deciding that she was probably there for the night, Maria pulled her carpet bag up onto the bench beside her. Swinging her legs up, she lay her head down on her bag. Feeling miserable, she wrapped her arms around herself, trying to shut out the unbearable pain.

The guilt and shame was overwhelming, but her heart was breaking for the seven children she'd left behind.

ooooXXXXoooo

Finally, thought Georg, as he took determined strides across the foyer towards the stairs. Not only had he danced several waltzes with Elsa, he'd also found himself dancing with one of her friends from Vienna. The last thing he'd needed was to listen to incessant, inane chatter about people he couldn't remember ever meeting. His head was aching.

Cursing that he'd ever agreed to hold such a ridiculous event, he pitied the next person who tried to get in his way.

"Excuse me, Sir."

Georg spun around to see the butler quickening his pace as he tried to catch him.

"Not now, Franz," Georg was waving him off and already moving towards the stairs.

"I'm sorry, Sir, but I found this on the side table," he said catching up to Georg and handing him an envelope.

"Yes, well, I'll deal with that later," Georg replied abruptly as he snatched the envelope from Franz's outstretched hand.

Glancing down, he suddenly stopped. Frozen. The foyer full of partygoers suddenly disappeared into the distance, and all he could hear was the blood pounding in his head as he looked down at his name on the envelope. It was written in Maria's neat script _. What the hell?_

Turning away from the stairs, he walked towards his study, oblivious to the crowd around him. Fumbling for the study door key in the inside pocket of his tail coat, he finally had the door unlocked and quickly had it closed and locked behind him.

Walking across the darkened room towards the large oak desk, he reached out to turn on the desk lamp. Staring at his name on the face of the envelope, he realised that he'd been holding his breath. He turned it over and grabbed for the letter knife to slice it open. He already knew that he didn't want to read whatever Maria had written. _God, why would she have left a note on the side table in the middle of the party?_

Still barely breathing, Georg took out the carefully folded note and slowly opened it out.

 _Dear Captain,_

 _I realise how much I miss my life at the Abbey._

 _Please say goodbye to the children for me._

 _Forgive me._

 _Yours,_

 _Fraulein Maria_

Georg couldn't think. He could hardly breathe. Fumbling to pull the chair out from his desk, he slumped into it. Leaning his elbows on the desk, he dropped his head into his hands as he tried to stop the pounding, the feeling that his head was going to explode.

 _How could she leave the children? How could she leave him?_

Pulling the hand that still held onto Maria's note away from his head, he opened his eyes and re-read her words. Running his thumb lovingly across her name, he could feel the sting of tears.

 _What in God's name had he done?_

 **Thank you everyone for your lovely reviews and words of encouragement.**

 **I've taken a little detour and spent some time rattling around in Elsa's head (something I rarely do). I thought we should probably get her thoughts, even if she is the third wheel of this messy little triangle. Poor Elsa, I think we've all had our hearts crushed at some stage. I still don't know that I've done enough to earn my way back into the BFC - actually, I may have completely killed off my chances.**

 **I don't own TSOM, just having a little lend...**


	3. Chapter 3

**Limb by limb and tooth by tooth  
Tearing up inside of me  
Every day every hour  
I wish that I was bullet proof…**

 **You have turned me into this  
Just wish that I was bullet proof**

 **"Bulletproof..I Wish I Was" Radiohead "The Bends" (1995)**

Trying to force open her heavy eyes and lift her head, Maria could feel the stiffness grabbing at her neck. It was dark, and so very cold. "Oh, my…" she said quietly to herself, realising that she must have finally fallen asleep on the wooden bench at the bus stop.

Shivering, she slowly pushed herself up into a sitting position, feeling the stiffness all down her body as she stretched out after being curled up on the hard bench. The night was pitch dark now, clouds seemed to have moved in and were now blocking out the moonlight that had earlier made it a little more bearable sitting out alone in the darkness. It seemed that even the frogs had given up, and the lone owl had moved on. Pulling her short jacket around her, she knew she was hardly dressed to spend a night outside.

Trying to work out the time, Maria could remember watching the stream of cars leaving the party. She had no idea what time the party was supposed to finish. It must have been after midnight. Thankfully, most of them had turned away from the bus stop towards Salzburg. The few that drove past her would have thought she was just a homeless person, and kept on their way. She reminded herself grimly that that's probably what she will be when the Reverend Mother learns what happened during her time at the villa and why she had to leave so suddenly.

The Reverend Mother's instructions had been so simple. Spend the summer holidays at the von Trapp villa as governess to Captain von Trapp's seven children. She hadn't really understood why the Reverend Mother had chosen her for the task. After all, this was hardly the natural path from postulant to novice. But then, she'd been a postulant for so long now, much longer than the usual months for most other girls. What had the Reverend Mother said?

 _"_ _Knowing what we expect of you, you will have a chance to find out if you can expect it of yourself."_

Maria realised now that the Reverend Mother must have known how unsuited she was for a life at the Abbey. After the mess she'd left behind at the villa, how could she convince anyone otherwise? It would be a struggle to even convince herself.

After tonight, Maria was certain that she couldn't fulfil her dream of becoming a nun. It was a dream she'd held onto as a child when she'd come down from the mountains and listen over the wall at Nonberg Abbey to the nuns singing on their way to Vespers. The thought of giving up on her dream broke her heart.

It was almost worse than the fear of what her uncertain future might now hold.

She'd completed her teacher's training, but the thought of leaving the Abbey filled her with such fear. How could she start out in the world with nothing? Alone? Where would she even begin? Perhaps she could convince the Reverend Mother that if she tried harder, she could still become a nun?

Trying to shut out the thoughts of what was waiting for her when she returned to the Abbey, Maria decided to think about the happy memories from her time at the villa. Although she'd been trying desperately not to think about the children, anything was better than worrying about her future. She knew that her time at the villa was one of the happiest times in her life. She'd felt loved and needed. Probably for the first time since she was a small child, not much older than Gretl.

A fine man, and a brave man.

That's what the Reverend Mother had told her about the Captain. He was certainly that and so much more.

Maria felt a fresh wave of guilt wash over her. The Reverend Mother had sent her to look after the Captain's children. She certainly hadn't been sent to start falling for the Captain like some silly, smitten school girl. She could feel her cheeks burning at the shame.

At first, she'd been intrigued by the handsome, distinguished man who looked nothing like she'd imagined. She'd thought up all sorts of images as she nervously caught the bus out to the villa on her first day. But he'd looked so different. She smiled, still thinking that Franz seemed to fit the image of a retired sea Captain so much better.

She'd been intrigued by all the ways the Captain had tried to keep his children at a distance with whistles and orders. Even before Frau Schmidt explained his pain at the sudden loss of his wife, she could see why he did it. Although the housekeeper wasn't one to gossip, she'd told Maria that everything had changed the day the Captain's wife passed away four years ago. The Captain was inconsolable and the children were forbidden from doing anything that reminded him of their mother. It was obvious that when she'd arrived at the villa, he was still in so much pain. Even now, she couldn't begin to understand loving someone so much that it hurt. Even after all the years that had passed.

Everything had begun so well, and she'd managed to follow the Reverend Mother's instructions without too many problems. Well, there had been a few hiccups along the way. On her first day, she seemed to provoke the Captain without even trying. He seemed to escalate from slightly irritated, to completely exasperated, to boiling rage within a matter of minutes. It was obvious that it was his way of keeping everyone at a distance, just like the children. She'd refused to be rattled by his biting sarcasm and the scorn he didn't even try to hide. Unfortunately, it just seemed to antagonise him more.

Thankfully, he'd left the next day for Vienna, giving her time to get to know the children. Their distrust and pain was obvious. It was in their eyes, and so easy to read. It was clear that they were fearful of their father, why wouldn't they be? But despite everything, it was obvious how much they still loved him. How much they craved his attention and time.

It was then that she knew that she'd been sent by God to help the family heal. To somehow mend them all and to bring the children's father back to them.

The children were easily won over. After the thunderstorm on her first night at the villa, they had formed a bond that only grew stronger as the summer passed. The poor things just needed someone who they could trust and depend on. Someone who would be there for them with the unconditional love and affection that any child needs. Really, that's all any of us need, Maria thought sadly to herself. And she found that the children returned her love for them in ways that she couldn't have even imagined.

But then, something changed between her and the Captain after their argument on the landing when he returned from Vienna. After he'd heard the children's beautiful voices singing an Austrian folk song she'd taught them for the Baroness. It was as if he was seeing his children, really seeing them, for the first time since his wife passed. Sometime later, at one of their meetings to discuss the children, he'd told her that their mother used to sing the same song as the children drifted off to sleep.

Hugging herself to try to stop the shivering, Maria's mind drifted to those meetings with the Captain. They'd come to some kind of understanding that day he returned from Vienna. In the beginning, the meetings were supposed to be weekly. They started out as an opportunity for the Captain to check how the children were progressing. But the meetings soon became more frequent, until they were meeting most nights after the children were in bed.

Maria liked to tell the Captain what her upcoming plans were for the children's lessons and activities. She thought it was important for him to feel involved and it gave him a chance to plan his coming days so that he could join them if he wanted to. She realised that after four years of avoiding the children, all he needed was a little encouragement to take small steps towards bridging the gap. He also needed time to know his children again. Four years ago his children would have been so young, so different. He had so much to learn.

But as he became more comfortable with the children and started joining in many of their activities in the afternoons after their morning lessons, the meetings came to be less about the children. Since her own childhood, Maria had never been comfortable talking about herself. Her past, her thoughts, her plans, they were all things she kept close and never spoke about with anyone. But she found that as she grew to know the Captain, as she became accustomed to his teasing and challenging, she became more open to his prying.

Soon, they rarely discussed the children for any length of time and would soon find themselves discussing their childhoods, music, literature, poetry and, well anything really. Even the current political situation. And while they would never agree on their favourite author or composer, they both enjoyed debating the merits of all.

After a few weeks, Maria realised that her meetings with the Captain had become her favourite part of the day. She found that she would be disappointed if they couldn't meet because the Captain was taking the Baroness to Salzburg for the evening for a dinner, or the opera or something else.

She enjoyed their lively discussions, the ease they'd found with each other. She found that she just enjoyed spending time alone with the Captain. She enjoyed their time alone, being able to relax without having to keep one eye on the children after a long day. And it was nice not to worry about other people being bored by their conversation. She'd noticed the Baroness would often steer the conversation back to people Maria didn't know, or a party or something else that her and the Captain had attended in Vienna.

But had the Baroness been right? Had Maria's intrigue and admiration for the Captain become something more? Had she really started to fall in love with him?

She'd tried not to think about it too much. It had been easy with the distraction of the children to push thoughts of her feelings for the Captain out of her mind. But with the Baroness' words ringing in her ears and nothing else but her thoughts to keep her company out in the dark night, Maria knew she had to face the truth eventually.

She knew that her intrigue had grown to something more. She wasn't certain when it had happened. Perhaps she didn't notice it starting until it was too late? She couldn't think when she first noticed her heart beating a little faster, her thoughts more scattered than usual. When she had to remind herself to breathe. It happened when the Captain was nearby, when she heard him and hoped to catch a glimpse of him. It happened when she watched him with the children. And it always happened when he looked at her that way. The way he looked at her when he danced with her tonight…

Maria gasped as she reminded herself how it felt in his arms. She felt so safe. So special. _So loved._

But what did she know? Clearly she didn't have a clue. Her feelings must have been so obvious, so much on display, that even the Baroness knew what she'd been thinking. Her stupid schoolgirl crush on the Captain had been shameful. Not only had she humiliated herself, she'd embarrassed the Captain.

Why, he couldn't even look at her afterwards. He hadn't even cared if she joined them for dinner or ate by herself in the kitchen. She could feel the sting of tears as she felt the pain of his indifference all over again. But what did she expect? He was practically engaged to the Baroness. The last thing he wanted was a silly orphan girl from the mountains who was half his age and supposed to be on her way to becoming a nun fawning over him. She'd forgotten her place. She'd become entirely caught up in her own daydreams. Yes, she'd needed to be reminded why she was at the villa in the first place.

The Captain and the Baroness were probably laughing at her now as they read her note. The girl who was supposed to be at the villa as the children's governess over the summer holidays, but who was falling for their father instead.

Curling up again on the bench, Maria rested her head on her carpet bag as she hugged it to her. She could feel the tears running down her cheeks again. Horrified by her behaviour, she no longer tried to hold back the tears.

No, the Baroness had done her a favour.

ooooXXXXoooo

 _"_ _You don't even know your own children!" she hurled at him, trying to ignore the water dripping down her face._

 _"_ _I don't want to hear anymore from you about my children!" he threw back at her, but not quickly enough to hide the flash of guilt and hurt. She knew it was always lurking just below the surface, and she realised how unfair she was being. All it needed was the smallest crack in his mask to surface, and she'd quickly learnt how to break through his mask. "I know them well enough to realise that they'll be heartbroken!" he shouted, unable to stop his voice catching on the last word._

 _"_ _You managed to ignore their heartache and pain for years!" she was in a rage now, saying anything to turn the argument back onto him. "They won't care. Why do you even care?"_

 _Suddenly, his eyes softened as he challenged her to hold onto his gaze. Reaching out to take her hand, he whispered tenderly, so tenderly it was almost as soft as the breeze moving through the willows along the lake, "Because you've become like a mother to them…"_

Maria's eyes shot open, as she let out a gasp, realising that she'd been dreaming. Shivering, she felt the mist on her face. No wonder she'd dreamt she was back at the landing, dripping wet. But the lake water hadn't been this cold, she thought grimly as she wrapped her arms around herself. Her dress was damp, so it must have been misty for some time. At least the sun had started peaking over the horizon.

She thought back to her dream, the Captain's words replaying over and over again. It had been the evening after the puppet show, during one of their meetings in the Captain's study. He'd still been complimenting her on the children's performance, marvelling at how far they'd come in such a short time over the summer. Thanking her for all she'd done for the children, for him.

"You know you've become like a mother to the children?" he'd murmured, almost as if his thoughts had tumbled out before he could catch them. "Especially for Marta and Gretl, they were so young, it would be impossible for them to remember Agathe…" he'd added absentmindedly, drifting off to some distant memory. It had been so unexpected, so heartfelt, that Maria knew she would never forget his words. Or how they'd made her heart soar when he'd said them.

They'd been sitting at his desk, and he'd been gazing out into the distance across the room. But when he seemed to remember himself and turn back to look at her, she still couldn't be sure if she managed to stifle her gasp. If she hadn't, the Captain didn't seem to notice, the look in his eyes had been so tender, so gentle, that she could barely think. She sat there, under the intensity of his gaze, holding her breath, afraid that she might break the spell. Finally, he'd cleared his throat and seemed to remember why they were there.

Reaching down, she found her hat resting on top of her guitar case. Drips were now finding their way from her hair down her face and tickling the back of her neck. At least the hat would keep her a little drier, she thought grimly as she put it on her head.

Using her sleeve to dry her face, she knew it would be impossible for her to forget the seven beautiful children she'd spent the summer with, after all she had grown to love them with all her heart. From the moment she'd learned that they'd lost their mother so suddenly, at such young ages, her heart had gone out to them. Having lost both of her parents by the time she was six years old, she knew some of the pain they would be feeling. Although they still had their father, his grief had been so great. It had been easier for him to leave his children and the memories of his wife behind at the villa.

Trying to stretch out some of the stiffness in her muscles, Maria's thoughts turned to the children. As the sun slowly rose above the horizon, she knew the first bus wouldn't be too far away. The reality that she would never see the children again suddenly hit her.

As she sat on the hard bench, she was wracked by a new wave of guilt over leaving the children so suddenly, without even saying a proper good bye. She'd been in such a rush to escape from her shame and humiliation and she'd been trying not to think about the children. How could she be so selfish?

Even though her stay at the villa was coming to an end, the children had started asking her if she could stay after the holidays, after they were back at school. It had started a few weeks ago. But beneath her attempts to laugh off their pleas, her heart had ached knowing that all too soon an end would come to one of the happiest times in her life. She wished it could go on forever.

If she could convince the Reverend Mother to let her take her vows, she would stay at the Abbey and definitely wouldn't see the children again. As the summer had been drawing to an end, she'd been able to stop herself from thinking about it. But now, as the stark reality of never seeing the children again started to set in, she could feel her eyes starting to sting again.

Knowing how much the children relied on her, how close they'd become, made her feel even worse. Sometimes, when she'd let her guard down, she'd find herself imagining that she was part of the family. In the late evening, after dinner, when they would sit around in the salon, she could pretend that they were a happy family. She knew it was ridiculous. She knew that she shouldn't be having such thoughts. The Captain's words from a few weeks ago hadn't helped.

Maria's thoughts were interrupted by the sound of the bus drawing closer along the road as it made its way towards Salzburg. Wincing from the stiffness as she stood up, she picked up her carpetbag and guitar case as she waited for it to come to a stop alongside the bench. As the driver opened the door and turned to look at her, she forced a smile at him, hesitating for a second.

ooooXXXXoooo

Georg held onto the cool cast iron of the landing gate, staring out across the lake at nothing. He'd found himself out on the terrace before the first rays of sunlight had started awakening the world to the new day. Before the blackbird had started the first song of the morning, before the dampness from the early morning mist had started lifting.

But the stunning sunrise had been lost on him today. He had too much on his mind. He'd barely slept last night, finally giving in to the uselessness of it all and deciding to dress and make his way outside. It hadn't helped. The sharp, cool air hadn't helped.

Last night, he'd allowed himself ten minutes alone in his study. He'd read Maria's words over and over again, as many times as he could in that short time. It hadn't made any difference. They made less sense than when he'd first read them. How could she miss her life at the Abbey? She'd seemed so happy at the villa. She seemed to love the children as much as they loved her. Last night, he'd thought she'd felt something for him. He thought they were at least friends.

He'd re-joined the party and somehow got through the night. His world had suddenly been thrown into turmoil, but thankfully, with so much practice over the past years, he'd been able to pretend that nothing was wrong. How different things had really been. As soon as he'd seen off the last guest, he'd told Elsa that he had a headache, which hadn't been too far from the truth. Since he'd read Maria's note, his head had felt like it was going to explode. He'd excused himself and retired to his suite. Only then had he allowed himself to drop his mask and let go.

Pulling Maria's note out of his pocket and re-reading her words, he could feel the emotions starting to build again. He cursed himself again. _God, he must have scared her._

He'd certainly been overwhelmed by his own feelings and emotions when they'd danced the Laendler last night. He hadn't felt anything like it since he'd held Agathe in his arms. It had rattled him. It had left him shaken. Even a man of his experience. _God knows how Maria would have felt._

And yet, he'd just brushed her off afterwards.

It seemed that she felt so overwhelmed that she had to leave suddenly in the middle of the night, without a word to anyone. _God, what had he done?_

In her note, she'd asked him to forgive her. He would probably never have the chance to tell her, but he would forgive her the world. He would forgive her anything. But he knew he could never forgive himself.

How was he going to explain this to the children? He knew that his devastation would be nothing compared to theirs. They'd come to see Maria as their mother. They relied on her more than they did him. He smiled at how protective and devoted to Maria the children had grown while he'd been away in Vienna. That was Maria. She had a way of reaching out and just grabbing hold of your heart before you even realised.

Sighing, he knew he would have to face the children soon. He would have to break their hearts with the news. He would wait until a more civilised hour and call the Abbey to make sure she'd returned safely. He hated thinking of her out in the night on her own catching the bus to Salzburg. But then, if he'd known she'd planned to return to the Abbey, he would have never let her go. Of that he was certain.

The thought of Maria being at the Abbey brought Georg little comfort. How could it? Knowing that Maria would now be able to take her vows was heartbreaking. Could anyone be less suited to a cloistered life in a convent? Knowing that neither he nor the children would probably ever see Maria again was devastating. It tore at his heart knowing that he would never be able to tell her how he felt.

But he should have realised that Maria wasn't interested in him. For God's sake, what had he been thinking? She was half his age and had decided to devote her life to God. What made him think that she'd want to spend her life with him and his seven children? He'd obviously misread her completely. Perhaps it was fear he saw in her eyes last night when they danced? He'd stupidly thought she felt something for him.

How had he misread everything so badly? How had he made such a mess of things?

Reminding himself again, he knew that he had to forget his feelings for Maria. He had to follow his original plan before all these ridiculous feelings took hold. He needed to propose to Elsa and settle down to a life that wasn't going to be perfect, but was certainly better than a life alone. The children need a mother, and although Elsa hadn't really bonded with the children, maybe that would come now that Maria was no longer at the villa.

With the summer holidays drawing to an end, the children would no longer need a governess and Elsa could ease into the role of mother after school and at weekends. And, although Elsa would never be the love of his life like Agathe, she would be a fine companion.

"Father! Father!"

Georg spun around to see Marta running down the terrace steps towards him at break neck speed.

"Whohoa! What is it Sweetheart?" he asked as he bent down to scoop her up. But, holding himself tight, he already knew what was coming.

"Where's Fraulein Maria?" Marta asked as she took in great gulps of air. "She's not in her room. Her bed doesn't look slept in."

"Are your brothers and sisters awake yet?" Georg asked as Marta tightened her arms around his neck.

"They're getting ready for breakfast," Marta told him, as she reached down with one hand and started playing with the collar of his jacket. "I always make sure Fraulein Maria's awake so she isn't running too late for breakfast." Georg had to smile to himself. Fraulein Maria was always running late for every meal. "But she isn't in her room, Father." He could hear the concern growing in Marta's voice.

"Come on, Marta, let's round everyone up," trying to sound cheerful, Georg was making his way up the terrace, dreading what was to come.

As he made his way inside, Georg lifted Marta down. "Now, Sweetheart, can you go upstairs and ask your brothers and sisters to meet me in the salon?"

Marta nodded and smiled at her father as she hurried up the stairs towards their rooms. With a heavy heart, Georg made his way to the salon and sat down on the sofa, waiting for the inevitable. Waiting to break the hearts of his children.

It wasn't long before Georg could hear the children making their way across the upper landing to the stairs. He'd decided to tell the children exactly what was in Maria's note. Not that it told them anything. It hardly explained anything at all. He knew they'd have just as many questions as he did. There always were questions when things weren't how you wanted them to be. When things turned out to be anything but how you'd imagined them.

He could hear the din of the children as they made their way down the stairs. All speculating about where Maria was.

The chatter and questions of the children stopped as they made their way across the foyer and into the salon. Marta and Gretl raced up to their father, each standing either side of him grabbing hold of one of his legs. Georg picked up Gretl and kissed her as he sat her on one of his legs. His dread was growing, knowing that his two youngest girls would be devastated by the news.

The older children milled around him, wearing looks of both concern and suspicion.

Bracing himself, Georg took in a deep breath. "Children, Fraulein Maria has returned to the Abbey." There he'd said it. He'd tried desperately to sound light and cheerful. But saying those words out loud, it had been impossible. It all sounded so hollow. Especially knowing that he was to blame. _God, he hated himself._ Could he ever stop hurting his children, he wondered.

His words were met with a mass of cries and questions from the children. He pulled Gretl to him, even before her tears started falling. Cradling Gretl's head to his shoulder, Georg whispered in her ear, trying to calm her. Marta was sobbing and burying her head in his leg, his arm went around her.

Liesl held Brigitta to her as she sobbed loudly, and just kept repeating that she couldn't believe it. Friedrich and Kurt kept asking why. Louisa said nothing. She didn't cry. She just held her jaw tight.

God, was this anything like when they found out about Agathe's passing? He didn't know. He'd been unable to leave Agathe's side. It had been left to Agathe's mother to tell the children. Feeling a surge of guilt, he wished he could turn back time and do things over again.

"Fraulein Maria left a note to say that she missed her life at the Abbey," Georg had given up trying to sound cheerful. How could he?

"But won't she miss us?" Friedrich asked.

"Of course she will," Georg said gently. "She said she would miss us all terribly."

"But why?" Marta asked between sobs as she looked up at her father. "Did we do something wrong?"

"No, Marta, no-one did anything wrong," Georg felt like such a liar as he reached down and gently stroked her cheek, wiping away some of the tears. How could he tell his seven year old that he'd done everything wrong? "She realised that she missed her life at the Abbey, and decided to go back a little earlier than planned."

"But why didn't she say good-bye?" Brigitta asked, swiping at her tears with the palms of her hands.

"She said goodbye in her note," Georg told them softly. This was all his fault. He didn't want the children blaming Maria or thinking badly of her.

"It's not the same," Louisa bit back. Georg could hardly blame his daughter for her bitterness. No more than he could blame Maria for wanting to avoid the tears of the children. God, he wished he was anywhere else but here at this minute.

Reaching into his pocket to pull out his handkerchief, Georg wiped Marta's tears.

"Come on everyone, it's time for breakfast," Georg tried his best to sound cheerful, but looking at the older children he knew he wasn't fooling anyone.

He watched the children shuffle into the dining room, the heaviness of their feet matching their hearts. Still holding onto Gretl, Georg stood up and followed the children. His youngest daughter tightened her grip around his neck as he sat down at the head of the table with her still in his lap.

"Morning, Georg," Elsa smiled as he sat down. She'd already greeted the children, but it was obvious that Georg had just broken the news that their governess had returned to the Abbey last night. He'd told her last night that the girl had left a note on her way out. Elsa had braced herself for the children being upset at breakfast, but she hoped that they would all get over the news quickly enough. After all, she was only their governess. She was supposed to return to the Abbey in a few weeks, so it should hardly be a shock. But looking around the table at the long faces, she could see that the children had obviously grown fond of the girl.

Breakfast was a subdued affair. Apart from the occasional sniffle from Brigitta, Marta or Gretl, breakfast was eaten in gloomy silence. Even Kurt was pushing food around his plate. Elsa had tried to make conversation, but soon gave up when she realised that no-one else's heart was in it.

"Come now, Gretl, try to eat something," Georg murmured to Gretl. "I've even cut the crusts off."

"How do you know Fraulein Maria cuts the crusts off for me?" Gretl lifted her head and looked at her father.

"Lucky guess, I suppose," Georg smiled and shrugged. How could he explain to his daughter that he'd made it his business to notice everything that Maria did? Everything. No matter how small. Looking towards the empty space at the opposite end of the table, he bit down hard, trying to swallow the emotions that had been creeping up.

"I'll miss Fraulein Maria," Gretl said to him, leaning further into his shoulder.

"We all will," Georg said. Kissing the top of Gretl's head, he looked across to Elsa, who smiled at him.

Just as he was wondering whether there was anything he could do to lift the children's spirits after breakfast, Georg heard the door to the back terrace being opened and then closed. Wondering who was coming through the back door, he felt himself tighten as he heard the unmistakable footsteps making their way across the foyer towards the dining room. Surely he must be mistaken. It couldn't possibly be. _God, he must be going mad._

Looking at his children, they were now all looking behind him at the doorway. The excitement on their faces unmistakeable.

"Fraulein Maria!" it was Friedrich who was the first to yell out and leap out of his chair.

Georg heard her bags being dropped to the floor as Kurt, Brigitta and Marta were soon out of their chairs and racing towards the door. Liesl and Louisa looked across the table at each other, before joining the rest of their brothers and sisters milling around Maria.

Barely able to contain his own excitement, Georg pushed his chair out and stood up with Gretl still in his arms. He turned around to see Maria leaning down to hug the children. Putting Gretl down and watching her run to join her brothers and sisters to welcome Maria back, Georg could feel his pulse racing and the blood pounding in his head. He couldn't stop to wonder why she was back. He didn't care. It was just enough to know that she was standing in the dining room and wasn't back at the Abbey. While he stood waiting he flexed the fingers on his left hand to let go of some of the tension, the need to touch her.

After what seemed an eternity, Maria finally looked up from the children and glanced at the Captain. She'd been dreading this moment since she waved the bus driver on and started walking back to the villa to say goodbye to the children.

Georg felt his breath catch as he held her gaze. She looked exhausted, dishevelled and was wearing that God-awful grey thing she wore when she arrived at the villa. But right at that moment it didn't matter. To him, she was simply breath-taking. Right at that moment all that mattered was that she was home. Fighting the impulse to hold her, to tell her that everything will be alright as long as she promises to stay, Georg could simply stare.

"Good morning, Captain," Maria finally broke the silence.

"Good morning, Fraulein," Georg somehow found his voice.

 **Thank you all for your lovely reviews for the last chapter.**

 **As usual, I find myself apologising for a chapter that seems to be way too long - yes, guilty of losing control of the word count yet again!**

 **Obviously, we're going off in a little AU direction here. Hope you enjoyed this chapter, even though there wasn't too much happiness other than the glimmer of hope at the end.**

 **Please check out Radiohead's "Bulletproof..I Wish I Was". A desperately sad song of theirs.**

 **I still don't own TSOM, just having a lend!**


	4. Chapter 4

**That there, that's not me** **…**

 **I'm not here  
This isn't happening  
I'm not here, I'm not here**

 **In a little while**  
 **I'll be gone**  
 **The moment's already passed**  
 **Yeah, it's gone**  
 **And I'm not here**  
 **This isn't happening**  
 **I'm not here, I'm not here...**

 **"** **How to Disappear Completely" Radiohead, "Kid A" (2000)**

It was still the same. Nothing had changed. But then why would it, she thought as she reminded herself that she'd really only been gone a few hours. What was it about his look that made her forget where she was? That made it impossible to think. Impossible to breathe. She knew she should look away and somehow force her attention back to the children.

But there was something behind his eyes, something she couldn't put her finger on. It seemed like he was holding something back. What was it? His eyes seemed to be dancing. Was it amusement? Was he grinning? He seemed to be biting back a smile. That was it. He was _entertained_ by her return.

Her humiliation was now complete.

Earlier, before getting caught up in one of his gazes, when she was able to focus on the children, it had been easy to believe that everything would be alright. She'd somehow convinced herself that after a little awkwardness between her and the Captain, a disapproving look from the Baroness, she could say her farewell to the children and be on her way. But looking at him now, she could feel the ground start shifting beneath her. Lately, it always did. This morning, it seemed worse than ever.

As she started regretting her decision not to get on the bus, she tried to ignore her embarrassment and shame. She was overtired and emotional, she told herself that she wouldn't be at the villa long. Just a few more hours and she would be gone. She could get through this. Reminding herself that it was her guilt over the children that had forced her back to the villa, nothing else mattered. Her guilt and realising that if, by some miracle, the Reverend Mother accepted her back at the Abbey, she'd never see the children again. She just had to forget that everyone had seen her fawning over the Captain. She had to ignore that he was trying not to laugh at her. She had to pretend that the Baroness wasn't glaring at her across the room. She just had to focus on the children.

Earlier, as she'd stared into the near empty bus trying to ignore the driver's impatience, she'd realised that she couldn't just leave. She knew she needed to go back to the villa to see the children one last time and give them the goodbye they deserved. It was a goodbye that she needed just as much as the children. Yes, she'd also come back for her own sake. She needed to see the children one last time. Having left so suddenly last night, she hadn't had time to prepare herself to let go, despite knowing she had to.

She'd grown so close to the children over the summer, it wouldn't be fair to just disappear in the middle of the night. They'd suffered enough. A hurried goodbye in a note left on the side table wasn't good enough, and she knew it. They deserved better. Despite everything. Despite her own shameful behaviour.

Still feeling the glare of the Baroness upon her, Maria realised that she was still lost in the Captain's eyes. The children were all talking at once, but it was the Captain who had her attention. Trying to ignore how safe and comforted she felt last night when he'd held her in his arms as they danced, she reminded herself that she couldn't afford to get distracted. After all, her distraction had been the problem. Telling herself that she was there for the children, Maria forced herself to acknowledge the Baroness.

"Good morning, Baroness," finally finding her voice, she nodded towards the dining table as she moved her eyes away from the Captain. The children stopped their flood of questions and looked between Maria and the Baroness.

"Fraulein Maria, you've returned!" feeling her light mood quickly darkening, Elsa forced herself to share some of the children's excitement at the return of their governess. "How wonderful!" she added with a raised brow, wondering what on earth had brought the girl back.

Elsa couldn't help noticing the girl's bedraggled state. It was impossible not to. She was wearing some hideous outfit that looked like it wouldn't even be fit for rags. What was she doing standing in the doorway, interrupting their breakfast? She was supposed to be back at the Abbey, not standing here before them looking hopeless and helpless. Looking like she needed Georg to rescue her from herself. Could this girl not manage to get anything right?

Blushing, Maria offered the Baroness a small smile and a nod, before quickly looking away. She felt so humiliated. Here she was standing in front of the woman who had exposed her appalling behaviour, and now she was behaving just as shamefully. Right in front of her. Again.

Realising that the interruption from the Baroness was over before it really began, the children all started asking their questions again. Maria was finding it difficult to hear one child over another.

"Are you back to stay, Fraulein Maria?" Gretl asked as she tugged on Maria's hand, desperate to get her attention. The warmth of the small girl's hand on hers reminded Maria how cold she still was.

"Have you already been to the Abbey?" Friedrich questioned before Maria had a chance to answer his sister's question. "Did you realise that you didn't really miss it?" he added hopefully.

"Aren't you hungry, Fraulein Maria?" Kurt couldn't hide his concern. Maria smiled at the young boy and ruffled his hair. "Have you had breakfast?"

"Fraulein Maria, why is your dress wet?" Brigitta asked, looking up from where she'd hugged her governess' waist.

"Oh, it's nothing, I got caught in a little shower of rain," Maria reached down to stroke Brigitta's cheek before glancing up at the Captain, who was still looking at her. It seemed he had barely moved.

"We didn't do anything wrong, did we?" Marta asked in her little voice, the overwhelming guilt and concern obvious.

"Of course not, sweetheart!" Maria forced a smile as she reached down and brushed the small girl's cheek with the back of her hand. "You could never do anything wrong," she added, satisfied that she'd drawn a smile from somewhere amongst Marta's frown.

She was horrified thinking that any of the children would believe such a thing. But she should have known they would. Liesl had told her weeks ago that when their mother passed away, they'd blamed themselves. They'd thought they were being punished for all the times they'd behaved badly. It hadn't helped that their father also seemed to be angry with them. It had been a long time before he could even look at them. It had been heartbreaking hearing Liesl tell her about the guilt and anguish the children had carried with them for so long.

How could she have been so thoughtless? She knew all too well the wild ideas that ran through a child's mind from when her own parents passed away. She'd barely been older than Marta.

"Why are you back?" Maria's attention was caught by Louisa raising her voice to be heard above the din. "I thought you'd left," she added bluntly from where she stood to the side with Liesl. Her words were harsh, the accusation barely masked. The hurt and distrust clear for all to hear. Maria looked across to Louisa, reminding herself how much the girl took after her father. Louisa had suffered from her mother's sudden passing as much as anyone, if not more.

"Yes, well…" Maria blushed as she began rather lamely, shifting uncomfortably as she struggled to find the words to explain. This was much harder than she'd imagined.

"Alright children, that's enough," Georg's voice cut off Maria's attempt to answer, and signalled an end to any more questions as all eyes turned towards him. Still standing beside the dining table, he hoped that he might save Maria from any more awkwardness, even though he was trying desperately to conceal his own. He'd barely moved from where he'd put Gretl down. He couldn't. He'd been holding himself so tight to the spot. He was struggling to control his excitement at Maria's return. He could barely stop himself from grinning like some idiot.

Even though Maria was surrounded by the children, and despite Elsa sitting at the table looking on, he wished that he could be alone with Maria. All he wanted was hold to hold her in his arms, to tell her that somehow everything could be worked out. He wanted to hold her, to comfort her, to apologise for his appalling behaviour last night. To tell her how he hated himself for brushing her aside, for barely acknowledging her. How wrong he'd been. _God, she'd made him feel something._ He'd felt more during their brief encounter in the courtyard than he'd felt over the past four years. He wanted to feel alive again. _God, he needed to hold her_. But he knew he couldn't.

Despite the distance and the children between them, he could feel Maria's discomfort. She always hated being the centre of attention, this would be excruciating for her. He still didn't understand why she'd left so suddenly in the night. Looking at her now though, he was certain it wasn't because she missed the Abbey, despite what her note said. But whatever the reason, he admired her bravery to come back this morning. He knew it wouldn't have been easy.

"There's plenty of time for Fraulein Maria to answer all of your questions. Now, breakfast's over, so go wash up, tidy up," he ordered, circling around the children with a look that demanded no nonsense.

"But Father!" Friedrich protested, drowning out the groans from his brother and sisters. "Is Fraulein Maria going to leave for the Abbey again?"

"I promise I'll keep an eye on Fraulein Maria," Georg told the children as he saw them hesitate. He couldn't miss Maria's blush. He heard Elsa clear her throat at his unfortunate choice of words. Hadn't that been the problem all along _? He hadn't been able to keep his eyes off Fraulein Maria, for God's sake!_ "Erhm…come on children, you haven't got all day!"

As the children reluctantly made their way out of the dining room and across the foyer, Georg reduced the distance between him and Maria.

"Fraulein, you are back to stay…" he began, the words tumbling out before he could stop them. Before he could hide the confusion and hurt in his voice. But hearing his own words, he wasn't sure whether he was asking her a question or giving her a command. Perhaps both. Now that he was only a few steps away, he could see that Maria was shaking. Surely she didn't fear him. She couldn't be scared.

"No, I only came back to say goodbye to the children," she almost whispered, shaking her head.

Only the children, he thought jealously. _God, he was becoming irrational!_

"I don't understand," he said gently. "Did the Reverend Mother send you back this morning?"

"I haven't been back to the Abbey," Maria blushed furiously, looking away, mortified. Her embarrassment couldn't get any worse.

"But where did you stay last night?" Georg couldn't hide his confusion.

Maria was looking down, wringing her hands now, begging the floor to just swallow her up and save her. Just wishing she could disappear. "I missed the last bus…" she said softly as she glanced up at him.

"What?! You mean to say that you spent the whole night outside waiting for a bus? It was cold last night," Georg raised his voice in disbelief. His heart broke thinking of Maria sitting by the roadside in the dark of night alone. "Fraulein, it was raining early this morning. Please tell me you weren't out in the rain," he asked, his voice softening with concern. It had been impossible for him to sleep last night. He'd laid awake all night, it must have rained for at least two hours.

Reaching out, he gently touched the back of his fingers to her cheek. She flinched away from his touch as if she'd been burnt, but not before he had the chance to feel how cold she was.

"Fraulein, you're freezing cold," Georg was concerned. Narrowing his eyes, he realised that she was shivering from cold, not from fear.

"I'll be fine, Captain," Maria replied hoping to sound convincing.

"No you won't be! You need to change out of those wet clothes," he demanded, jumping slightly as he felt Elsa touch his arm. He hadn't even noticed that she'd got up from the table. He'd almost forgotten she was there.

"Captain, I'll be alright," Maria said bravely. Silently begging him to stop being so concerned. To stop caring. Didn't he realise that this was difficult enough? He was just making it harder.

"Fraulein, you're shivering. Let me be the judge of whether you'll be alright or not," Georg replied abruptly. Sometimes she could be so damn stubborn.

"Oh, Georg, you can't order Fraulein Maria around like she's one of your crew!" Elsa interrupted. Her smile as forced as her attempt to jump to Maria's defence. She didn't like that Georg was taking such a keen interest in the girl's well-being. And she hadn't missed seeing him reach out and touching her either. He needed to accept that she'd decided to leave his employment last night and was returning to the Abbey where she belonged.

"My dear, why don't you change out of those damp clothes?" Elsa turned her charm onto the girl, who was still looking so utterly hopeless and miserable. "Once you've said your goodbyes to the children, we can arrange for Franz to have you back at the Abbey later this morning."

Elsa didn't want things dragging on any longer than was necessary. In fact, this nonsense had been going on for far too long already. If making sure that the girl was back behind the walls of the Abbey meant that her lunch plans with Georg had to be changed, then so be it. After the party, her friends from Vienna planned to stay for a few days. They would have plenty of time to all catch up for lunch or dinner. Turning her smile back towards Georg, she couldn't miss the darkening look he gave her.

"Frau Schmidt!" Georg called out to the housekeeper as he heard her passing somewhere out in the foyer.

"Yes, Captain?" Frau Schmidt replied as she appeared in the doorway next to Maria.

"Please help Fraulein Maria to her room," Georg motioned to Maria's worn carpetbag.

"Certainly, Captain," Frau Schmidt cast a worrying eye at Maria. It had been impossible not to get caught up in the morning's commotion when the children realised Maria had left. She certainly hadn't expected to see the young governess back at the villa. "Come with me, Fraulein," she added, reaching out to place her hand on the back of the girl she'd grown so fond of over the summer. "Maria, you're dress is damp! No wonder you're shivering! Come with me, we need to run you a hot bath this minute," she demanded as she picked up Maria's bag in her other hand.

"I'll be fine, Frau Schmidt, please don't fuss," Maria's resistance was meek at best. She couldn't help thinking that it would be nice to get out of her wet clothes and finally warm up.

"Nonsense!" the housekeeper responded. "Come with me!" she added as she guided Maria across the foyer towards the stairs, glancing over her shoulder at the Captain before they started making their way up the stairs.

Georg stood watching from the dining room doorway as Maria was hurried up the stairs and towards the staff wing under the watchful eye of Frau Schmidt. He knew he needed to speak to Maria alone before she left. But how? And then there was Elsa. He really was being unfair to her. _God, he could barely think straight._ He needed some time alone to get his thoughts in order.

"Oh, Georg, really! What is going on with that girl?" Elsa interrupted his thoughts. "She sneaks off in the middle of the night with hardly a word, and now, after being gone five minutes, she's back again to say good bye to the children after we've had to sit through their tears."

"Mmmm…" Georg replied absentmindedly, still following Maria and the housekeeper along the upper landing. He was still trying to understand why she'd fled in the middle of the night. And why would she rather spend a cold and wet night on a wooden bench just down the road rather than come back to the villa. "There's some papers I need to take care of," he added as he started to make his way towards the study, stopping to pick up Maria's guitar case. Hesitating at the study door, he decided to make a detour to the kitchen first.

Since she'd been at the villa, Elsa had quickly learned that Georg's study was his sanctuary. True, he spent many hours there pouring over plans and other documents, but it had become more than a place to work. Max had told her that after Agathe's passing, Georg had spent most of his waking hours in the study. Doing what, she wasn't certain, but she did know that he didn't like to be disturbed. Heaven knows, he was a complex man, so she imagined that there were times when he just needed his own space.

At least with Georg in his study and the governess under the watchful eye of Frau Schmidt, there was little for her to worry about. No, she was certain that once the girl freshened up, put on some half decent clothes and said goodbye to the children, she could be on her way back to the Abbey with Franz before lunch. She wondered how long it would be before Max made an appearance. With Georg in one of his moods, she would have to rely on Max to discuss last night's party and all the latest stories she'd heard so far from her Viennese friends. Walking across the foyer, she heard the door to the governess' bedroom closing in the distance.

"Now, Fraulein Maria, we need to get you out of those wet clothes this minute," the elderly housekeeper fussed as soon as the door was closed behind them. "What on earth were you doing out in this morning's rain?" she asked as she moved across each window drawing the drapes across as she went. She then circled back to turn on the bedside lamp.

"Well…" Maria blushed as she smiled weakly. "I'm really not sure…"

"Let's not worry about that now!" she said gently as she saw Maria struggling to answer. "While you're getting out of those damp clothes, I'm going to run you a hot bath. You're shivering, my child, we need to warm you up!" Before Maria realised what was happening, Frau Schmidt was in the bathroom and she could hear the bath filling.

"Hand me those wet things," she demanded as she made her way out of the little ensuite and back into the bedroom. "I'll take these down to the scullery. Now, I want you in that bath before I get back!"

Maria stood in her underclothes as she watched Frau Schmidt scoop up the damp clothes and make her way out the door. She smiled at how fast the housekeeper moved for an elderly woman. Realising how cold she was, Maria started taking her damp underclothes off as she made her way across the room to the bathroom.

Testing the water as she dropped onto the edge of the bath, the water felt so hot against her cold fingers. Turning off the running taps, she quickly sunk into the bubbles and to the warmth beneath. After the initial shock of the warm water hitting her cold skin, Maria sunk down further and leaned against the back of the bath, stretching out as she closed her eyes. The silence was only broken by the slow, steady drip of one of the taps. Reaching out to turn it off properly, she quickly dropped her arm back under the warm water. It felt like even her bones were cold.

Closing her eyes, Maria hugged herself, waiting for the warmth to seep through, knowing that soon she'd start feeling warmer. She'd hated seeing the sadness in the children's eyes. Their hurt and confusion at her leaving had been so obvious. Louisa and Liesl had looked at her with such distrust. She'd barely been able to look them in the eye. They felt like she'd betrayed them after all that had happened this summer. She hated being the cause of their pain. But she knew that in the end, it was for the best. It was awful knowing that the past weeks, the wonderful memories, would now be bookended with so much pain. It was all her fault.

Trying to ignore her thoughts and the little voice in her head, she leaned back further. Perhaps by the time she opened her eyes she'd no longer feel so chilled to the bone…

"Fraulein, Fraulein Maria…"

Maria could hear, someone calling her. Who was it? Forcing her heavy eyes open, she saw Frau Schmidt's concerned face inches from her own.

"Oh, I must have fallen asleep," Maria heard herself answering softly.

"Fraulein, I need you out of the bath before the water cools down too much. We'll get you dried off and into something warm," the housekeeper said as she took a large towel off the rail and placed it on the edge of the bath. "I'll just be waiting in your room."

Holding onto the edges of the bath, Maria put her weight on her hands and pushed herself up out of the bath. Stepping over the edge, she quickly grabbed her towel to dry herself. Despite the hot bath, she could still feel last night's cold.

"Fraulein, I've brought you some soup that Cook's reheated," Frau Schmidt called out to her.

"Oh, you didn't need to go to so much trouble for me," Maria answered from the bathroom, still drying herself off.

"It was no trouble, Fraulein," the housekeeper told her. "In fact, it was the Captain who asked Frau Petering to prepare something for you," she added as Maria walked from the bathroom into the bedroom in a fresh set of underwear.

"Please thank the Captain," Maria smiled, touched by his kindness.

"Put this on to keep your shoulders warm," Frau Schmidt said gently as she handed Maria her dressing gown. "Now, please, take a seat and have something to eat," she added as she waited for Maria to take a seat in the chair beside her bed before placing the tray across her legs. She lifted the steel cloche to reveal a bowl of steaming soup.

"This smells delicious, thank you," Maria smiled. "I'm sorry for being so much trouble."

"Don't give it a moment's thought, Maria," Frau Schmidt squeezed her shoulder. "I'll be back shortly to see how you're doing." Reaching for the door, she took one last look at Maria, who was now dipping a piece of fresh bread into the thick vegetable soup.

Maria hadn't realised how hungry she was. But then she hadn't eaten since lunch time yesterday. No, she hadn't made it to dinner last night, she thought grimly to herself. After eating as much as she could, she put the tray on the bedside table.

Frau Schmidt had said she'd be back, but she didn't say when. Maria looked across to her bed. It looked so inviting after lying on the hard wooden bench last night. Her muscles ached so much, and she still felt chilled from spending the night at the bus stop.

Deciding that a few minutes wouldn't hurt, she lay down on top of her bed. It was useless fighting her heavy eyes, especially as her body started relaxing on top of the soft mattress.

It wasn't long before Maria was sleeping soundly.

 **Thankyou all for your wonderful thoughts and comments. Thank you for continuing to read and review!**

 **Poor Maria has returned to the villa, and in this chapter I really wanted to capture her churn of emotions and feeling conflicted between doing the right thing by the children and just wishing she was anywhere else but there at that moment. Hopefully, I've managed this in some small way.**

 **Please check out "How To Disappear Completely" by Radiohead. The studio version or any live version is a thing of true beauty. Thom Yorke once credited HTDC as the most beautiful song they'd written, the one song he hoped they'd be remembered for. The lyrics are based on the thoughts Thom would loop in his head to help him cope while suffering physical and mental burnout when touring endlessly for two years. It's about disengaging from the stress and anxiety of the moment and telling yourself it's ok, it will be over soon, you can survive it. It seemed perfect to describe how I imagine Maria would have felt returning to the villa. I think we've all experienced those feelings and thoughts.**

 **Interestingly, "Kid A" the album HTDC is from was never promoted, no singles were released, there are no official videos and there was no tour. It was a pure indulgence by the band, one long therapy session, a cathartic change of direction in every sense. It was the antithesis of it's predecessor (the brilliant Ok Computer). Despite all of this, it is considered by many critics to be one of the best albums ever released by any band and is often rated the best album of the 2000s decade. Apologies, I'm off on a total tangent (as I so often am)...**

 **As always, I don't own TSOM, just simply having a lend!**


	5. Chapter 5

**I'll drown my beliefs…  
Just, don't leave  
Don't leave**

 **I'm not living  
I'm just killing time…  
Just, don't leave  
Don't leave**

 **And true love waits  
In haunted attics  
And true love lives…  
Just, don't leave  
Don't leave** **  
**

 **(Don't leave, don't leave)**

 **"** **True Love Waits" Radiohead, "I Might Be Wrong: Live Recordings" (2001)**

Frau Schmidt bustled up the stairs, turning left at the landing towards the staff wing. The children had been ushered outside onto the terrace, where they were anxiously awaiting the reappearance of the governess they'd grown so fond of over the summer. Relieved that she'd been able to navigate the children's relentless questions without having to provide any real answers, it was a relief to finally escape the hurt in their eyes.

Her heart broke for them. Their confusion and sadness bringing back the truly awful memories from four years earlier. It was a time in the past she'd hoped never to be reminded of. But the children had fallen under Maria's spell over the summer. They all had. The girl had a way of reeling you in with her smile and infectious warmth. It was understandable that the children were beside themselves now that she was leaving.

To be honest, she'd really had no idea what to tell the children. She still didn't understand why Maria had wanted to return to the Abbey early. There were only a few more weeks before the children would be back at school and her time at the villa would end as planned. But to leave in the middle of the night? During the party. And why was she back so soon? It really was a mystery. But then, as she made her way along the upper landing, she could only speculate.

Being a trusted member of the household staff over many years had meant being a silent observer. She'd quickly learnt that there was no place for idle gossip or voiced opinions. Still, she couldn't help wondering what had disrupted the comfortable routine that they'd all taken for granted since the Captain's return from Vienna weeks ago.

Sighing, she found herself coming to a stop outside Maria's bedroom door. Life at the villa this summer had certainly come full circle. It had almost resembled the days before the Baroness took ill. But something must have happened last night to bring all of that to an end, she thought to herself as she knocked softly. Hesitating for moment, she listened for Maria's call. When there was no response, she opened the door and let herself into the bedroom.

She smiled to herself. The young girl was still asleep on top of the bed in her underclothes. Still under the blanket she'd thrown over her earlier. It had been almost an hour ago that she'd been to collect Maria's tray to return it to the kitchen. The poor girl had been fast asleep then and still shivering, despite the hot bath. Looking at her now, she'd barely moved. She looked so peaceful, but at least it seemed that she'd finally warmed up. She looked like she could sleep all day, but unfortunately, it was time to wake her.

"Fraulein…" Frau Schmidt called out softly.

Maria didn't stir. It seemed that she really was in a deep sleep. Little wonder, Frau Schmidt thought to herself, given how tired and emotional she'd looked.

Reaching down, the housekeeper placed a comforting hand on Maria's shoulder. "Fraulein…" she called out a little louder this time. "Fraulein, it's time to wake up…"

"Oh…?" Maria murmured, a confused frown forming as she wondered who was calling out and where she was. Struggling to come around, she tried to open her eyes to make sense of where she was.

"Fraulein, it's Frau Schmidt," a gentle voice reassured her. "You've been asleep, but it's time to wake up now."

 _Frau Schmidt…,_ Maria wondered to herself. _The villa?_ That's right, she'd come back to the villa to see the children. Stretching slowly, her muscles were even stiffer now than earlier. It seemed that the night on the hard bench might take a while to work its way out of her aching body.

Finally managing to open her heavy eyes, she realised she was in her bedroom. The room was warm as the morning sun tried to stream in through the closed drapes.

The housekeeper stood over her with a worried look, but allowed herself a smile as Maria stirred.

"Frau Schmidt…" Maria whispered, trying to find her voice. "How long have I been asleep?"

"Not too long, only an hour or so," she answered kindly. "But it's time to get dressed and face the day!" she added, trying to sound bright and cheerful. Although, she couldn't help noticing Maria seemed so far away.

"Oh…of course!" Maria agreed quietly as she pushed aside the blanket and started to sit up. She couldn't believe she'd fallen asleep, what on earth would everyone think? Feeling a little lightheaded, she sat on the edge of the bed waiting for the giddiness to pass. She was relieved that the cold that had seeped through to her bones last night seemed to have finally gone. She felt a little better after her nap, but was still dreading what lay ahead.

The most important thing was to say goodbye to the children. Then she could be on her way. But the thought of leaving brought such an overwhelming wave of sadness.

Trying to ignore the tears that were threatening, she looked across at Frau Schmidt who was now at the open armoire searching through her clothes that were still hanging on the rail in a neat row. Wringing her hands in her lap, Maria watched Frau Schmidt pull out one hanger and hold it out in front of her. After a moment's thought, she returned it to the armoire and continued working her way through the outfits that Maria had made over the summer.

Maria caught her breath as she was suddenly reminded of the image from last night. The image of the Baroness doing exactly the same thing. Feeling herself blush, her hands flew to her cheeks as the words of the Baroness came back to her.

 _Where's that lovely little thing you were wearing the other evening? When the Captain couldn't keep his eyes off you._

Wondering how she could have been so stupid, she felt ill as she was gripped by the guilt and shame. She should have realised that as the weeks passed she'd become far too familiar with the Captain. The hours spent in his study in the late evenings. The playful teasing and banter. Even in front of the Baroness. Debating him. Challenging his rules. Deliberately trying to draw him out of the darkness he'd wrapped himself in. At first for the children, but then as much for herself when she'd realised how easy she found his company. How much she enjoyed just spending time with him. Being around him. Becoming friends. Sharing ideas, exposing fears, revealing hopes and dreams. Her the governess, a postulant. _Him the Captain_.

What had she been thinking? Had she been so naïve that she hadn't even realised she'd been flirting with the Captain. Everyone else seemed to notice. The Baroness certainly had. She had no doubt Frau Schmidt had recognised her embarrassing behaviour over the past weeks for what it really was.

But had she really been that naïve? Deep down, Maria knew better. The reality was that she'd found the Captain's attention, his smile, those eyes, so comforting. So inviting. So addictive. So unstoppable.

 _There's nothing more irresistible to a man than a woman who's in love with him._

If the Baroness' words didn't hold some truth, she might not feel so humiliated. So guilty and ashamed. Her chest might not feel so tight. Her stomach felt like it was churning.

"Now, Maria, pop these on," Frau Schmidt interrupted Maria's thoughts. She'd been miles away. She'd almost forgotten the housekeeper was there. Had almost forgotten where she was.

Frau Schmidt smiled as she looked at one of the simple outfits Maria had made during her time at the villa. She couldn't help noticing Maria's frown and the worry behind her eyes. She wondered what was troubling her. It was so unlike the poor girl to carry such a heavy burden.

Forcing a smile in return, Maria felt like she was suffocating in the airless room. Standing up to take the hangers from the housekeeper's outstretched hand, she felt a little light headed as she rose. She just wanted to say goodbye to the children and be on her way back to the Abbey as soon as she could. Although she appreciated the kindness and help, the last thing she needed was all this fussing. Especially when she'd behaved so shamefully. She didn't deserve any of it.

"Fraulein, you're still looking a little flushed," a worried Frau Schmidt reduced the distance between them and placed the back of her hand on Maria's forehead, thinking she felt a little warm.

"I'll be fine, it's just a bit stuffy in here," Maria protested. "It always is in the morning until the sun moves around."

"Fraulein, the Captain would like to see you in his study when you're ready," the housekeeper nodded and tried to hide her concerns with a smile as she started making her way towards the door. Maria was right, the room needed some fresh air. "Once you've seen the Captain, you can join the children out on the terrace," she turned and opened the door. "They're looking forward to seeing you," she added reassuringly as she let herself out and closed the door behind her.

Maria stared at the closed door. Horrified. Had she heard right? _The Captain wanted to see her?_ Could things not get any worse? Surely there was nothing left to say. She was leaving.

Taking a deep breath, Maria knew that the sooner she got dressed the sooner she could leave the villa and her humiliation behind. She couldn't hide in her room avoiding everybody and feeling sorry for herself. Looking down at the outfit Frau Schmidt has chosen for her, she realised it was the one she'd been wearing the day the Captain returned from Vienna with Herr Detweiler and the Baroness. She smiled as she ran her hand over the cotton skirt, remembering the confrontation on the landing. The moment everything seemed to shift between her and the Captain.

Feeling a little more sure of herself, she put the skirt and simple blouse over her underclothes. Lacing up the bodice, she made her way to the bathroom hoping to tame her hair, to make it look a little less like she'd just woken up. She gasped as she caught her reflection in the mirror. There were dark circles under her eyes, which were still blood shot and puffy from all the tears. Leaning over the small basin, she splashed some cool water on her face, trying to wake up and hoping to reduce some of the redness in her flushed cheeks. Looking up at her reflection and running her fingers through her hair, she decided she looked a little better. Not much. But it would have to do.

Taking a deep breath and straightening out her skirts, she took one last look around her old room before opening the door and stepping out onto the landing. Normally one to rush around the villa, she found herself taking her time for a change. Last night she'd raced down the stairs and out the front door into the night. Today was different.

She took her time. Taking in everything, knowing that this would be her last walk along the upper landing and down the staircase. Another part of the reason for her leisurely pace was to delay her meeting with the Captain. She could still see his amused expression as she stood before them all earlier in the dining room. She hated thinking that she'd been his entertainment.

Reaching the bottom of the stairs, she started slowly across the foyer towards the Captain's study. She had no idea why he wanted to see her. Why did he want to add to her humiliation?

"Morning, Fraulein!" she was suddenly startled out of her thoughts by Herr Detweiler coming across the foyer from the direction of the kitchen.

"Oh! Good morning!" Maria's hand flew to her chest as she forced a smile. "Herr Detweiler! You gave me a fright!"

"I'm sorry, I was just in the kitchen ordering some strong coffee," he explained. "Between you and me, my head's a little sore after last night's party," he confided in a low whisper.

Still catching her breath, Maria nodded and smiled as he stepped aside and motioned to let her pass. Reaching the study door, she hesitated, then knocked lightly. Dreading what was to come.

"Come in." Hearing the familiar smooth baritone from somewhere inside, she could feel her stomach tighten.

Trying to calm her growing nerves, she took a deep breath as she let herself inside. Still facing the door as she closed it, she braced herself for whatever was to come. Turning, she saw the Captain standing across the room, staring out one of the windows that looked towards the terrace. His hands were clasped behind his back.

"You wanted to see me, Captain?" she asked, trying not to sound as anxious as she felt.

"Yes, Fraulein," Georg didn't turn around immediately. He'd been watching the children on the terrace. Watching their long faces and slumped shoulders as he'd waited for Maria. Although he'd been waiting for her for more than an hour, it hadn't been long enough. He still didn't feel ready to face her. He still hadn't sorted through all the thoughts that were running through his mind.

Looking out at the children, he'd realised how much Maria had come to be part of his family. It had confirmed what he'd been trying to ignore over the past weeks. What he'd been trying to bury in the back of his mind. At the bottom of his heart. But after last night, after his children's reaction this morning, it had become clear. He couldn't let his head keep ruling his heart. He knew what he needed to do. He couldn't let her leave. But God knows how he could convince her stay.

Other than his awkward, embarrassing attempt this morning at breakfast, he still hadn't spoken to Maria since they'd danced last night. Since he'd held her in his arms. Since he'd realised how much he wanted her. Needed her. _God, since he'd almost kissed her in front of Elsa and the children._

He'd been promising himself, as he stared out the window, that he wouldn't lose his patience. Yes, she could be stubborn, but God knows, so could he. He wouldn't let his hurt and confusion get in the way, making him carry on like some wounded young fool. Firstly, he needed to apologise.

Finally turning around to face her, he noticed she was wearing the same outfit she wore when he returned from Vienna. It had become one of his favourites. It always reminded him of her fierce passion. How she would protect the children and fight for them at all costs. The way she'd defended them and called him out for running away from them and for failing to be the father they needed. No one else had been brave enough to tell him what he needed to hear. There'd only ever been one other person who would dare speak to him with such brutal honesty, he thought sadly.

As he looked at Maria now, he wondered what had happened to her spirit. Where was her fight? She looked defeated. Uncertain _. God, this was all his fault._

"Please, Fraulein, take a seat," he finally found his voice as he moved away from the window and motioned towards the armchair facing the desk. What was it about this woman that took his breath away? Made it impossible to think. Made him forget the simplest things. Walking behind his desk, he pulled out his high backed leather chair and sat down.

Although Maria sat across the desk from him, she felt miles away. The need to hold her was overwhelming. The need to explain himself, long overdue. He held himself tight, barely fighting the urge to just plead with her to stay. To beg her not to leave.

ooooXXXXoooo

Max made his way across the foyer to the salon, hoping that the strong coffee wouldn't be too far behind him. He'd enjoyed himself at the party last night, but as usual, the morning after found him suffering. Too much French champagne, chased down with too many glasses of brandy and, unfortunately for his throat this morning, a cigar to end the night.

Walking into the salon, he was pleased to see Elsa already occupying one of the settees. He smiled knowing this meant he could ease into the day with a steady stream of gossip and news from the night before.

"Morning, my dear," Max's voice pierced through the villa's unusually quiet and sombre mood.

"Max, darling, I was off in my own world! You startled me!" Elsa's hand flew to her chest as she looked up from her fashion magazine while Max made his way into the room. Thankful for the distraction, she looked down and realised that she'd been staring at the same page for the last half hour.

Since Georg had escaped to his study, her mind had been racing. She still wasn't sure how to navigate the morning's unexpected turn of events. She thought she'd seen the governess off last night. Her reappearance at breakfast had been most unexpected. And Georg's reaction had been entirely inappropriate. Predictable. But inappropriate. "I didn't expect to see you this early," she added, grateful that Max would keep her entertained and help her forget the morning's unpleasant developments.

"Yes, I'm not sure what I'm doing up at this ungodly hour," he agreed as he slumped into the armchair beside her. "It seems that all I've managed to do so far this morning is frighten all you lovely ladies."

"Ladies? What on earth are you talking about Max?" Elsa smiled as she reached over to squeeze his arm.

"I was coming back from the kitchen and Fraulein Maria nearly ran into me," he chuckled.

"Fraulein Maria?" Elsa asked sharply, tightening her grip on his arm.

"Yes, she seemed a little distracted about some…" he began.

"Where did she go?" Elsa cut Max off, not really caring how distracted the girl may have seemed. "Did she go out the back to the terrace?"

"Well, no, I don't think so…" he really hadn't been paying too much attention. His head hurt too much to concentrate on anything. "I think she may have been going to the study to…"

"The study?!" Elsa demanded. "Why the hell didn't you tell me?" she threw at him as she tossed her magazine down and got to her feet in one quick, but graceful, motion. "Really, Max! It's like drawing teeth!" she snapped as she started her way across the room.

"What?" Max was confused. "What does it matter that she's in the study?"

"Max, where have you been?" Elsa demanded as she rounded on him. "The girl left without a word last night. She was on her way back to the Abbey. For some unknown reason she's back here this morning. I don't have time to stand around and explain," she turned and quickened her pace towards the study. "I need to go and save Georg from himself," she muttered under her breath.

"Elsa, what on earth are you talking about?" Max called after her as she disappeared out the door. What did she mean? Fraulein Maria had left the villa during the party? Is that why she didn't make an appearance at dinner? And what did Georg have to do with it?

Of course, over the past weeks he'd noticed the looks between Georg and the young girl. You would've been blind not to. And then there was always that delicious tension in the air between them. But what did Elsa mean? Had Georg done something last night? Something that caused the girl to leave. But she was back. Why, he'd just run into her at the bottom of the stairs.

Deciding it was all too hard with such a heavy head, he found himself wishing he'd stayed in bed a little longer.

Just as he was thinking that maybe he should go to the study to keep an eye on things, Frau Schmidt appeared at the doorway carrying a tray and his steaming pot of coffee. Smiling, he knew that Elsa was more than capable of handling things on her own. At least for a few more minutes.

ooooXXXXoooo

"Fraulein," Georg began as he instinctively reached up to tug at his ear. She looked flushed. He wasn't sure why. She certainly had nothing to be embarrassed about. Taking a deep breath, he searched her eyes from across the desk for any hint, any reason, for leaving so suddenly. Not finding any, he cleared his throat. "Firstly, I need to apologise…"

"Captain, please don't," Maria interrupted him. She didn't want to hear him take the blame for what had been entirely her fault. "Please, there's no need," she added as she dropped her eyes to her lap, realising that she'd been wringing her hands since she'd sat down.

"Fraulein, let me explain," Georg tried again. He needed her to know how sorry he was for brushing her aside. How he hated himself for all but ignoring her. He cringed as he pictured himself waving his gloves at her over his shoulder. _Who the hell did he think he was?_ He needed to explain how he'd been so rattled. That he hadn't been prepared for the feelings she'd unleashed when they'd danced the Laendler. Feelings that he'd been struggling to keep in check since he'd returned from Vienna. Feelings that had taken on a life of their own last night. He'd been afraid, shaken by the surge of uncontrolled emotions. His behaviour had been inexcusable. There was too much to say. He wasn't sure where to start. "Fraulein, I need you to know…"

"Captain, I'm the one who needs to apologise," Maria interrupted again, looking up at him, then quickly looking back at her lap.

"You?" he questioned. Why in God's name would she be apologising to him?

"Yes, running off in the middle of the night without thinking about the children was wrong of me," Maria could feel the tears of shame starting to sting. "It was heartbreaking to see the children this morning. I'm sorry. It must have been so difficult breaking the news to them. I'm sorry you had to do that."

"Fraulein, there's no need. Please, let me…" Georg started his apology again. Could this woman just let him get a word in, he wondered. But suddenly he was interrupted by the study door being opened.

Startled, Maria and Georg both spun around to see Elsa standing in the doorway.

"Elsa?!" Georg couldn't mask the sharpness in his tone.

Elsa gave them both her most radiant smile as she made her way to Georg's side. "Darling, I was just thinking that perhaps Fraulein Maria should join the children on the terrace," Elsa smiled at Georg as she placed her hand on his shoulder. "Fraulein, that will give you plenty of time to say your farewells before it's time to leave for the Abbey," Elsa turned her attention towards the girl.

Maria looked from the Captain to the Baroness, who gave her a bright smile that did little to hide the anger in her eyes.

"Erh, yes, Baroness, you're right," Maria stammered, withering under the Baroness' glare. "I should go now. To the children…" she agreed as she stood, thankful that she was able to escape the Captain's scrutiny and the disgust of the Baroness. Standing up, she quickly made her way across the study before either of them had a chance to change their mind or call her back, quietly closing the door behind her. Leaning back against the cool of the door, she drew in a deep breath, knowing that the morning wouldn't get any easier as she prepared herself to face the children on the back terrace.

"Elsa…" Georg began.

"Now Georg, you know that we have a lunch date today," Elsa interrupted. "If Franz is to take Fraulein Maria back to the Abbey and return with the car in time for us to make our appointment, then they'll need to leave soon."

"Lunch…? Today…?" Really? The last thing he felt like facing was a lunch with God knows who. He needed to sort out this mess he'd created. He didn't have the time or the patience to sit around and waste time chatting idly with people he barely knew, and in all honesty didn't really want to know.

"Oh, Georg, really!" Elsa tried to hide her growing frustration. Georg's distraction over the past weeks had really got out of hand. "We're catching up with friends from Vienna. They'll be in town for a few more days. Max will also be joining us. I really don't know what's got into you lately, you've…"

But Georg was no longer listening. He was on his feet and back at the window where he'd been for most of the past hour. Flexing his fingers, he stared out at the terrace watching the children gathering around Maria. The mood of the children hadn't lifted. How could it? Although, it was encouraging to see Liesl and Louisa hugging Maria. Louisa a little less enthusiastically. He often found himself marvelling at the effect she had on the children. They'd grown so much this summer under her watch.

He clenched his jaw tighter as he thought of how empty the villa would be without her. Even though her time at the villa had been coming to an end, he'd managed to avoid thinking about it. It had been easy to ignore and put to the back of his mind. He was good at doing that. After all, that's how he'd survived the past four years. How would they continue without her, he wondered? He wasn't sure it would be that easy.

Knowing what needed to be done, but hating himself for having to do it, he turned to Elsa. She was still telling him some story about the friends they were meeting for lunch. Or had she moved on to someone else? He wasn't sure. He hadn't been paying attention. _God, she deserved so much more._ Especially from him.

"Elsa…" he interrupted.

"Georg, I know you're probably not in the mood for a lunch after all the morning's dramas, but I think it would do you good," Elsa continued as if she hadn't heard Georg. She recognised that look. She'd seen it before. Whenever he'd tried to tell her that he wasn't worthy of her love, that he couldn't possibly give her the love she deserved. She'd convinced him otherwise before. She would just have to do it again now. Heaven knows that silly young girl would soon be on her way. Back to the Abbey and back on the path to becoming a nun. Georg would get her out of his system. He'd have no choice but to forget her, and everything could go back to how it was. How it should be. "You do remember…"

"Erhm, Elsa…" Georg said it louder this time as he walked across the room towards her.

"Yes, Georg," she replied, unable to stop the hesitation and doubt catching her voice.

"Elsa, I need to…" Georg began, taking one of Elsa's hands in his, but was suddenly interrupted by the study door being flung open. "Max!" he yelled at his friend standing in the doorway.

Max stood in the doorway, taking in the scene before him. "I hope you two are behaving yourselves in here!" he smirked at Georg's thunderous look. The strong coffee seemed to have done the trick and perked him up. But he couldn't help wondering what had happened to the young Fraulein. He'd expected to find her in the study as well.

"Max, what the hell are you doing?" Georg demanded.

"Darling, Max is only being a good chaperone," Elsa smiled at Georg. "Now, if you gentlemen will excuse me, I might retire to my room to have a small nap before we have to leave for Salzburg. I'm feeling a little worn out from the party and those weeks of planning. Max, please tell me that you remember we have a lunch date today?"

"Of course, how could I forget, my dear?" Max replied innocently, catching Elsa's tone and knowing damn well that Georg would have forgotten all about it.

Georg stood and watched as Elsa swept across the room and past Max who was leaning in the doorway. Cursing to himself, he walked back to the window and looked out at the terrace. He was vaguely aware of Max talking to him. But he wasn't listening. There was only one thing he could think about. The one question that had been haunting him since Maria reappeared in the dining room barely two hours ago.

 _How in the hell can I stop her from leaving?_

 **Thank you again everyone for reading and reviewing. Special thanks to guest reviewers who I'm unable to respond to individually.**

 **Please check out "True Love Waits" - a Radiohead classic. Among many worthy contenders, it's considered one of their saddest songs. It was written and performed live from the early 1990s, but a studio version was never recorded until the album "A Moon Shaped Pool" was released in 2016. The earlier acoustic guitar version was lighter and full of the hope that accompanies an unrequited love or the early days of a relationship. The melancholy piano that dominates the much later studio version creates a deep sense of loneliness and regret. It's weary, it's scarred. The painful ending of a relationship can be felt in every desperate plea.**

 **The two versions of "True Love Waits" mirror the timing and life cycle of the relationship the song was based on, which makes it all the more heartbreaking. RIP Dr Rachel Owen.**

 **"** **Immerse your soul in love"**


	6. Chapter 6

**Look down  
The ground below is crumbling  
Look up  
The stars are all exploding**

 **It's the last day on earth**  
 **In my dreams (my dreams, my dreams) In my dreams (my dreams, my dreams)**  
 **It's the end of the world**  
 **And you've come back to me**  
 **In my dreams**

 **Between the dust and the debris**  
 **There's a light surrounding you and me**

 **It's the last day on earth**  
 **In my dreams (my dreams, my dreams) In my dreams (my dreams, my dreams)**  
 **It's the end of the world**  
 **And you've come back to me**  
 **In my dreams**

 **In my head I replay our conversations**  
 **Over and over til they feel like hallucinations**  
 **You know me, I love to lose my mind**  
 **And every time anybody speaks your name I still feel the same**  
 **I ache, I ache, I ache inside**

 **In my head I replay our conversations**  
 **Over and over til they feel like hallucinations**  
 **You know me, I love to lose my mind (it's the last)**  
 **And every time anybody speaks your name I still feel the same**  
 **I ache, I ache, I ache inside (day on earth)**

 **I ache, I ache, I ache inside**  
 **I ache, I ache, I ache inside**  
 **I ache, I ache, I ache inside**

 **"** **The Last Day on Earth" Kate Miller-Heidke, "Curioser" (2008)**

Georg stared out the window towards the end of the terrace, watching Maria seated on the bench surrounded by the children. He could probably stand there for hours dreaming. Totally engrossed. Completely fascinated. In the past weeks he had. He'd watch on, wishing he could just forget everything else, everyone else. In the beginning, he just wanted to be part of their fun. But, as the weeks passed, he just wanted to see her smile, to make her laugh. To let her see how much he'd changed. To impress her.

He'd been vaguely aware of Max on the couch, talking away in the distance. He'd been absentmindedly throwing answers over his shoulder to Max's questions, but now he was no longer listening to his friend. He was far too lost in his own thoughts. She was back. But he still wasn't sure why she left, he could only guess. He knew it wasn't because she missed the Abbey. God knows, she was too free-spirited, far too vibrant to be held back behind the walls of Nonnberg. Surely, it can't be part of God's plan to keep her for himself, he found himself wondering. Even she must question her own suitability for such a vocation, surely.

He might not understand why she left, but it was clear why she returned. Part of him wished it was for him. But he knew that it was for the children. Not him at all. If anything, his indifference last night was probably what sent her running into the night. It felt like a physical blow to know that he'd hurt her so badly that she'd felt she had to run off without a word. But he deserved to carry the burden of knowing how much he'd hurt her.

His behaviour had been inexcusable. But as long as he stood at the window, he could at least keep telling himself that she returned to him as much as the children. He could pretend. He was afraid to join them on the terrace in case he was confronted with the truth. Knowing that she didn't care for him would be unbearable. Letting her spend time alone with the children was really just him delaying the inevitable. He could hold onto the dream that she cared for him, just a little bit longer.

Avoiding the truth and pretending. The two things he'd become a master at over the past four years. He'd spent so much of that time trying to convince himself he was someone he wasn't. That he wasn't running away from his children and memories that were too painful to face. That he wasn't a coward. Why not indulge himself for a few more minutes? Why couldn't he pretend for just a few more precious minutes that he meant something to her?

Looking from the study now, there was none of the usual laughter and joy that had become so familiar. The familiar smiles and fun that always found him wishing he could join them were missing. He'd hurt her so badly, and now he was hurting his children all over again. Was he ever going to learn?

He couldn't guess how much time had drifted by over the summer just looking out at Maria and the children. Sometimes, she'd look across from the terrace or the lawn and notice him. As their eyes locked, he'd feel his breath catch. Everything would be suspended for a few glorious moments until, eventually, one of the children would pull her attention back to whatever game they were playing. She'd turn away, leaving him all alone again. Leaving him wishing the hours away. Wishing it was the end of the day, just so he could have her all to himself. Their late evening meetings in his study were easily his favourite part of the day. _God, what was it about this woman?_ He'd lost count how many times he asked himself that question. He still didn't have the answer.

It had been the same with Agathe. During summer, she'd spend hours outdoors during the day with the children. He'd love nothing more than watching from a distance. Mesmerised by her beauty, astounded that she'd somehow fallen in love with him, marvelling that he'd been so blessed. When he found the distance unbearable, he'd venture out and join them. Many times he'd wished he could join Maria, but he had to keep his distance.

He'd sit with Agathe on a blanket, often nursing one of the younger children as they watched the older ones play along the lawn. The children were so much younger then. Looking at them now, he couldn't believe how much they'd grown. He'd loved the feeling of Agathe leaning into him as they sat together. Feeling her against him, brushing the hair from her eyes, skating a finger along her arm to watch the trail of goose bumps, his lips clinging to the back of her neck as he kissed her softly, suggestively, with the promise of so much more to come. It would always leave him wanting more. Desperate to be alone with her. Impatient to have her to himself.

 _God, he could feel that familiar ache._

It had been unbearable after Agathe's passing. There'd been no relief. Everywhere he turned, every memory, everything that was familiar became a reminder of all that he'd lost. He'd lost everything. Or so he'd thought. So he'd convinced himself. It had been easy. After all, Agathe wasn't just his world. She was so much more. Somehow, she'd held his world together. Without her, everything started falling apart. He fell apart. It was inevitable. It was immediate.

There'd been times when he'd tried to pull himself out of the blackness he'd fallen into. Each time, he failed spectacularly. Looking back, he probably pushed himself deeper into the darkness each time. Agathe was the one who knew how to reach him when he was gripped by dark memories, haunting images, self-doubts. Without her, he was lost. The misery and pain, because she was no longer there, was unbearable. Without her, how could he fill the void she left? He couldn't even pretend to. It was too great. Even for him, a decorated war hero.

Over time, God knows he'd tried to find relief, but it had been useless. It had taken him two years before he'd even held another woman. It had been on a dance floor. A waltz. He'd felt nothing. It had done nothing to ease the pain. He'd met Elsa soon after. He'd hoped it would be different with her. But holding her in his arms didn't ease the pain. Didn't stop the ache. It wasn't Elsa's fault. She just wasn't Agathe. But somehow Elsa had convinced him that was all he could hope for. Maybe he'd hoped that over time it might change. Become something. But it hadn't.

Eventually, he'd given up all hope of ever easing the pain. The agony of all that he'd lost was still there. He'd grown used to bracing himself, hardening himself, protecting himself from a world without Agathe. But this summer, something had changed. _God knows, this summer something had stirred._

He felt like he'd finally woken up. This summer he'd felt more alive than he ever had in the past four years. Since he'd returned from Vienna, the constant ache had eased. In the beginning, it had been gradual. Like a slow awakening. Now he could hear Agathe's name without his breath catching. Without his heart feeling like it was going to break. He could face the memories head on. Now he looked on them with the fondness they deserved, rather than the anger and overwhelming sorrow.

Smiling, he watched as Maria lifted Gretl up to her lap, holding her close. She brushed her cheek. Probably wiping away the tears, he thought, feeling the stab of guilt, knowing that he'd caused them. Elsa had saved him from himself to some extent. But who'd have imagined that Maria would rescue the entire family? Their saviour had come in the most unlikely form.

A young postulant, hardly much older than Liesl, yet wise beyond her years. She was far too outspoken, she'd just say whatever came into her mind. She was completely unaware of social standings, totally devoid of airs and graces. Hopelessly transparent. Beautifully natured. Wonderfully unconventional.

And despite all sense and reason, he found her utterly adorable. He could lose himself completely in those blue eyes of hers. His day was complete if he could coax a smile. Making her laugh, made everything else pale into insignificance. It all defied comprehension and made no sense. _Hell, he couldn't even explain it to himself._ He'd tried to fight it, tried to keep his distance and his feelings at bay. But that proved impossible.

Spending more time together, getting to know Maria, he became more and more fascinated. He needed to discover more. He wanted to spend more time with her. He sought her out, was drawn to her. Their evening meetings weren't nearly enough. She was so damn refreshing, finally he could feel himself relax in someone else's company. Finally, after four years, he could be himself. Even if it was only for a few hours alone with her in his study. It had been so exhausting pretending to be someone he wasn't. She had a way of drawing him out from behind the walls he'd built around himself. He soon realised that his defences were useless, she could see through them. She had from the beginning. He found that the more he revealed of himself, the more the pain eased. The pain, the burden, was lifting. Over the past weeks, the constant ache he felt for Agathe had all but disappeared. Strangely, it had been replaced with a different burden.

How could he have fallen for her? They were from completely different worlds. How could she ever want him? She had her future planned. It certainly didn't include him. He'd tried, but it had been hard keeping his distance. Last night, it all became crystal clear. None of that mattered. As they danced, he realised that he might as well try to hold back the tide.

Over the past weeks, he'd been desperately resisting the building temptation to hold her, telling himself that it wouldn't change anything. How wrong he'd been. Last night, holding her in his arms, he'd felt alive.

Last night, while he held Maria in his arms, he'd been certain that she felt something too. What they'd shared had been like a force of nature. He'd been powerless to stop it. It had shocked him, caught him completely off guard. He hadn't expected to feel that again. He'd convinced himself that there would only ever be Agathe. He hadn't expected that Maria could bring him so completely undone. That's what had left him so shaken.

And then he'd gone and made a complete mess of everything. Just when he'd finally found her, it was all torn apart again. When he'd read her note, when he thought that he'd never see her again, he could feel the world being ripped out from under him all over again. That all too familiar feeling returned.

"Georg, you haven't been listening to one word I've said, have you?" Max called out from where he lay on the couch. The coffee had only provided temporary relief, and he found everything was so much easier lying back on the couch with his eyes shut against the bright light streaming into the study. "Georg, you really must…"

But Georg hadn't heard him. Looking out the window still, he hated seeing the sadness hanging over them all. It was understandable. He was still unable to shake the look in Maria's eyes when she sat across the desk from him earlier. She'd been fearful. Haunted. She could barely hold his gaze. What had happened last night to make her so unsure of herself? So timid and uncertain. Had his behaviour really been the cause?

Losing sight of Maria from where he was, he shifted trying to find her amongst the children. They were milling around her, all trying to get her attention and make the most of their last few hours together. The thought hit him hard.

"What in God's name has your attention, man?" Max had left the couch and was walking across to Georg, curious to see why he'd been standing near the window since Elsa had left the study. Coming up to stand beside him, he dropped his hand onto his shoulder as he looked out at the scene on the terrace.

"Max! What the hell are you doing sneaking up on me like that?" Georg jumped as Max's hand came down on his shoulder.

"She's been such an unexpected force this summer, hasn't she?" Max murmured almost to himself. He was still trying to catch up on everything that had happened since last night. Sadly, it was obvious how distressed the children were. They'd all grown so close over the past months.

"Mmmm, what was that Max?" Georg was still lost in his own thoughts. Still wondering how in God's name he could convince her to stay. As much as he hoped otherwise, she didn't come back for him. That was the reality, it wasn't going to change, no matter how many times he told himself she could feel something for him.

"Fraulein Maria! I'm talking about the governess," Max couldn't hide his frustration at Georg's vagueness. "The children will certainly miss her, won't they?" he added.

"Excuse me, Max," Georg turned and made his way towards the study door. He knew what he needed to do. There was no doubt in his mind. He'd been unable to speak to Elsa earlier, but this couldn't wait. He had to stop Maria from leaving. Even if he could only convince her to stay for the rest of the summer holidays for the sake of the children. That would at least give him time.

He knew that pain and how crippling it could be. He couldn't bear the pain. Not again. Not now.

ooooXXXXoooo

"But, Fraulein Maria, if we promise to be good, if I share my toys with Marta, will you stay?" Gretl was sitting on Maria's lap, cradled in her arms. "Please…" she sniffled, lifting her head as she looked up.

"Oh, Sweetheart, I wish I could, but I need to go back to the Abbey," Maria brushed a stray hair from Gretl's face before cupping her cheek and pulling her closer. "Remember I was only ever here on loan from the Reverend Mother," she added, kissing the top of Gretl's head, breathing in the scent of her hair, hoping to never forget the now familiar fragrance.

Marta was sitting on the bench beside her and she could feel her snuggle in tighter. Brigitta was seated on the other side of her. These children made it almost impossible to leave, Maria thought to herself.

"I still don't understand. It doesn't make any sense," Louisa said from the ring of older children standing in front of the bench. "Why do you have leave early? Can't you stay until the holidays are over?"

"Louisa!" Friedrich hissed under his breath. "Do you have to be so rude?"

"What?! I'm only asking what everyone's thinking," Louisa snapped back at her older brother.

"Friedrich, it's ok, I don't mind Louisa asking," Maria smiled at the eldest boy. He had such a beautiful nature, she knew he would grow into a fine young man. It saddened her to think she wouldn't be there to see it. "I came here to do a job and that's finished, and now I need to go back to my life at the Abbey."

"But, Fraulein…" Liesl began.

"Father!" Kurt caught sight of his father standing at the top of the terrace, looking down at them. "Father, you can tell Fraulein Maria to stay!" he called out while running up the steps towards him. "She won't listen to us!"

"Please, Father! Can you?!" Brigitta jumped off the bench to race up the steps with her brother.

"Oh-ho, you know Fraulein Maria doesn't take orders from me," Georg smiled as his eyes caught Maria's, he felt that familiar rush sweep over him. Not breaking eye contact, he ruffled Kurt's hair and brushed Brigitta's cheek.

"Now, I hope you children aren't being too hard on Fraulein Maria," he said as he began walking down the steps. Instinctively, his fingers twitched. _God, he was nervous._ He wondered if he'd ever understand what this woman did to him.

Breaking his gaze from Maria's, Georg realised that all the children were looking at him now. Their eyes were pleading with him to somehow fix things. To make everything better. He'd let them down before, but today was different. Today he'd make amends.

"Children, I need to speak to Fraulein Maria," he said, looking up from the children and catching Maria's eyes again. "Run inside, we'll join you in the salon shortly," he nodded, smiling at them, trying to reassure them that everything would somehow be alright.

The children seemed reluctant, but he caught Liesl's eye and she helped usher her brothers and sisters together up the steps towards the back door.

Making his way from the bottom of the steps to the bench, Georg came to a stop in front of Maria. "Erh, may I?" he asked, motioning towards the empty space on the bench beside her.

Maria nodded at him, as she gripped the edge of the bench either side of her. She couldn't find her voice. What did he want to say to her now? What was left to say?

Sitting beside her, he looked out beyond the lawn along the edge of the lake, trying to sift through all the thoughts in his mind. _God, she was such a distraction_. Why couldn't he think about anything except her familiar, sweet scent? It brought back all the memories of holding her last night. He wished she was nearer. He wanted to feel her again. He put his hand down on the bench beside hers. Closer. But still too far away.

"Fraulein, it's been a rather hectic morning," he began tentatively, looking ahead into the distance. "I'm afraid I've overlooked something important."

"Oh?" Maria turned to him surprised.

"Yes, I apologise, I haven't had a chance to ask how you are," he turned towards her, struggling to hold back a smile, promising himself not to get distracted. Just sitting beside her made him feel special. _God, did he have it that bad?_

"Me?" she quickly looked away, then down in front of her, suddenly fascinated by an ant scurrying along the edge of a paver, as she felt the sting of tears. Why was he trying to be kind, she wondered, it just made everything so much harder. Why did he care? "Oh, I'm fine," she tried to sound convincing.

"Are you? I do hope the children weren't too much," he was still looking at her, worried that she still looked so withdrawn, so timid. She still seemed flushed.

"The children are never too much," a ghost of a smile crossed her lips as she thought of them. She was glad she came back to say goodbye to them. It had turned out to be the right decision. But she knew it would be some time before her heart would stop aching for them. She wasn't sure it ever would.

"Fraulein," he took in a deep breath and turned away, "I need to finish the conversation we started earlier in the study. I need you to listen to me." He could feel her looking at him now, so he turned to her to meet her gaze. "And for once in your life, try not to interrupt me…" he added, trying to be stern. But seeing a hint of a smile forming on Maria's lips, he was almost giddy with joy.

"I'll try, Captain," she almost whispered.

"I need to apologise for my behaviour last night," he began. "I behaved appallingly." Stopping to catch his breath and thoughts, he couldn't help thinking that even though her eyes were an unfamiliar mix of fear and sadness, they were still mesmerising.

 _He thinks he's in love with you._

 _He should get over it soon enough I should think. Men often do you know._

"Captain, please…" Maria mumbled. The Baroness' words came back to her as she remembered their dance, the moment she felt like the rest of the world had fallen away and it seemed like they were the only two left. She couldn't cope if he apologised for their dance. It would be far too humiliating. That's probably why he'd ignored her afterwards. He'd realised how ridiculous it had been. He'd forgotten himself and had a few moments of fun dancing with the governess, but then remembered who he really was. Who she was. The Baroness had been right. "Captain, there's no…

Needing to bridge the distance between them, he reached over, tentatively at first, and ran his little finger across the edge of her hand. Feeling bolder, he traced a path along her knuckles. Whatever she was about to say, his touch pulled her up. "Ssshh, Fraulein," he murmured trying to calm her. Or himself, he wasn't sure. Now that he was touching her, he could barely breathe. "Remember, you promised…"

"I promised to try," she could barely manage to whisper. What was he doing? She couldn't think of anything except the warmth running across the back of her hand and up her arm. How could such a small, gentle touch make her feel so much? She couldn't think. "There is a difference," she somehow managed to add.

"Perhaps," he smiled, conceding to her for the countless time that summer. "Now, Fraulein, let me begin again." Thrilled that she hadn't pulled away from his touch, he covered her hand with his and squeezed it reassuringly. "Please, I need to apologise…"

"Father, Father!"

Georg and Maria both turned their attention to the top of the terrace to see Marta running down the steps towards them.

Reluctantly lifting his hand from Maria's, Georg jumped up and took a few steps to meet Marta, sweeping her up in his arms. "What on earth do you have there?" he asked her as he tapped her nose.

"We've picked some flowers so you can give them to Fraulein Maria," Marta replied seriously holding up a bunch of hastily picked daisies from one of the garden beds on the side of the villa.

"Oh, have you?" Georg smiled, kissing Marta's forehead. How could he be irritated with such an adorable interruption?

Putting Marta down on the ground, he took the flowers from her. "Now, off you go Sweetheart," he said as he brushed her cheek.

Marta smiled at a blushing Maria, turned and ran back up the steps to the villa. At the top of the steps, she was met by the poorly concealed giggles of her brothers and sisters, all safely hidden somewhere out of sight just inside the doorway.

Turning back towards Maria, with Marta's daisies in his hand, Georg smiled awkwardly at her. "Fraulein, perhaps it might be best if we take a walk along the lake," he held out his hand to help her to her feet.

Smiling at his awkwardness, Maria wondered how he'd react if he was presented with one of Gretl or Marta's many drawings with her included as part of the family. She felt her heart tighten. _The Captain's wife._ They'd been tricky to navigate. Reaching out, she took hold of his hand, smiling up at him as she felt his hand wrapping around hers and gently pulling her to her feet.

Georg looked down, trying to ignore his heart skipping a beat as Maria's smile reached her eyes for the first time since he'd seen her last night.

Standing up, Maria could feel her head start spinning. "Oh, dear me…" she tightened her grip on the Captain's hand. Suddenly, she felt a firm hand on her waist, steadying her.

"Fraulein, are you alright?" he asked, concern in his voice, his worried eyes desperately searching hers.

"Oh, Captain, I'm just feeling a little lightheaded that's all," she smiled. "I probably got up a little too quickly."

"Fraulein, sit back down, you don't look well," Georg eased her back down on the bench. Dropping to his haunches in front of her, he placed a worried hand on her leg as he searched her eyes and face for answers.

"Captain, there's nothing wrong. I'll be fine," Maria told him.

"Let me be the judge of that, will you? Now hold onto these please," he handed Maria the daisies as he studied her with a furrowed brow. Placing the back of his hand along her forehead and then each cheek, he made an occasional sound to himself. "Fraulein, you've got a temperature," he announced.

"How can _you_ tell?" Maria smiled at him.

"Call it experience," he said with a bitter tinge.

"Oh, I'm sorry," Maria whispered. "I didn't mean…

"Please, don't apologise. I know you didn't," he said gently. "I've been thinking all morning that you looked a little flushed."

"I'll be alright," Maria told him. "It's probably just all the emotion and excitement."

"Fraulein, it's probably got more to do with you spending last night outside in the rain. I was up early this morning, I know how cold it was. Not that you'd think so now." He hated that it was his behaviour that had sent her out into the night. "It's turned into such a beautiful morning," he murmured in his deep baritone.

"You know, I really should get my things and start making my way back to the Abbey," Maria whispered, not breaking eye contact. It was so hard to think with the Captain's hand resting on her leg and him studying her so closely.

"I don't think so," Georg wasn't sure why he was whispering back to her. Perhaps it was because she was so close and he was reminded of last night when he held her in his arms. Perhaps it was because her eyes were holding his and he didn't want to break the spell. But it was probably because she was unwell and he could feel the fear starting to tighten its grip. "You're not going anywhere, Fraulein," he added tenderly.

"I…I'm not?" Maria could barely breathe, she still couldn't tear her eyes away from his.

"No," Georg sucked in his breath, as he felt the air around them growing heavy. She was so close, he needed to feel her. He wanted to pull her to him, to hold her tight. _God, it was unbearable_.

"But I probably should…" Maria protested lamely.

"I won't hear of it, Fraulein…" Georg interrupted, still whispering, still completely lost in her…

"Fraulein Maria, you're still here!" Elsa called out as she made her way down the steps of the terrace trying to make sense of the scene in front of her. What the hell was going on?! Georg had his hand on the girl's leg, she was clinging onto a bunch of flowers and they were both staring at each other like a pair of lovesick teenagers. Her back was barely turned, and this is what they get up to!

Both Maria and Georg's heads spun around towards the steps. Georg moved his hand to the bench and pushed himself up. Standing he turned to greet Elsa.

"Elsa." Other than an awkward nod, it was all Georg could manage. Why did he feel like he was betraying Maria, when he was betraying Elsa? "Fraulein Maria wasn't feeling well. She was just catching her breath."

"Fraulein, we should get you on your way," Elsa turned to Maria, feeling the emotions tightening in her chest as she fought to maintain her façade.

Maria looked away from the Baroness to the Captain.

"Elsa, Fraulein Maria has a fever. I don't think she's well enough to go back to the Abbey," Georg turned to Elsa. "I was going to call the doctor and arrange for him to visit as soon as possible."

"Oh, Georg, is that really necessary?" Elsa patted her hair. She couldn't believe what she was hearing. How would she ever be rid of this girl? "Are you sure we're not making too much of a fuss?" she added, fixing Maria with a glare that didn't match her smile.

"Captain, the Baroness is right," Maria didn't want to cause any trouble. "I'm sure it's nothing."

"Fraulein, I will not be returning you to the Abbey if you are unwell," Georg stated firmly as he turned to Elsa with a look that dared her to defy him.

"Well, darling, of course, if you think that's best," Elsa gave him one of her most radiant smiles. What was it about this girl? "But if Fraulein Maria wants to return to the Abbey, we can't really force her to stay, can we?"

"Captain…" Maria stood up, determined to leave, desperate to bring an end to the disagreement that was brewing. But her head felt so light, everything around her started spinning. Closing her eyes, the last thing she remembered was reaching for the Captain…

 **Thank you everyone for your lovely reviews. I know all writers say it, but they really do provide great encouragement and make such a difference! Special thanks to the guest reviewers.**

 **Apologies to everyone that it's taken so long, but finally Maria and the Captain were able to spend a little time alone.**

 **Apologies again for losing control of the word count…**

 **Please check out "The Last Day on Earth" on YouTube. It's written and performed by** **Kate Miller-Heidke** **, an incredibly talented Australian singer. As beautiful as it is though, this song does come with a warning. It will leave you completely shredded.**

 **Sadly, I still don't own TSOM, still just having a lend.**


	7. Chapter 7

**Dreamers  
They never learn  
They never learn  
Beyond the point  
Of no return  
Of no return**

 **And it's too late**  
 **The damage is done**  
 **The damage is done**

 **"** **Daydreaming" Radiohead, "A Moon Shaped Pool" (2016)**

Georg couldn't be certain how it all happened. He'd been staring at Elsa. Or was he glaring at her? _God, he hoped not._ Perhaps he was. He'd been daring her to challenge him, right there on the terrace in front of his children's governess. Daring her to insist that Maria return to the Abbey.

But he could hardly blame Elsa that the tension on the terrace escalated. He'd been trying to apologise to Maria when Elsa had appeared. She seemed to sneak up on them out of nowhere. But to be fair, Georg had been completely distracted. Maria seemed to have that effect on him these days.

Elsa's appearance on the terrace had been awkward. The air around them had been strained. He could feel her growing resentment, her defiance. It was more than matched by his determination not to allow Maria to return to the Abbey. Unbelievably, for a stray moment, he'd found his mind drifting back weeks ago to his encounter with Maria in almost the same spot. But back then, the air hadn't only been heavy with anger, there had been a heady mixture of desire and hunger…

It was then he'd heard it.

It was a strangled cry. Maria had barely managed to get his name out. He'd barely recognised her voice. Something was wrong. Immediately, he was turning to her. Then, as he watched in horror, everything seemed to happen in slow motion. He couldn't move. He was frozen to the spot, horrified, trying to make sense of what was happening. Maria was starting to crumple to the ground in front of him. Her legs were folding under her, her eyes were fluttering, confusion and fear written across her face. He finally realised that she was _fainting_. He knew her panicked look would haunt him for days and weeks to come. _Dear God, why was this happening?_

Finally, after what seemed like an age, he was reaching out to grab her. Trying to catch her. Desperate to break her fall. Somehow, he'd managed to grab hold of one of her arms, then he grasped her waist with his other hand. Pulling her roughly to him, he leaned back and bent his knees as they both tumbled down to the hard pavers. Despite his knees hitting the hard surface, he was thankful that he'd managed to protect her from a heavy landing. It had been undignified. It had been far from graceful. But at least he'd somehow broken her fall.

He wasn't certain how, but most of Maria had somehow ended up cradled safely in his arms. Looking down, in one hand she was clutching a fistful of his jacket, the other still had a tight grip on the bunch of daisies. Although, they looked a little worse for wear, a little crushed. Her legs were sprawled out beside her, but thankfully with her skirts covering most of her, her modesty was intact.

"Oh, my God…Fraulein…can you hear me?" he stumbled over his words, his face inches from hers, desperately looking for any sign that she was alright. He cupped her cheek, as her head rested in the crook of his arm. _God, this wasn't supposed to happen._

Despite his panic, Georg had time to stop and think how strange that while he was so frantic, she looked so peaceful, her lashes resting gently on the top of her flushed cheeks. "Fraulein, please… wake up. I'm here. I have you now. Please wake up…" he whispered, feeling his heart clench and his throat tighten. _God, it was hard to breathe._ "Please, Fraulein…" he pleaded desperately as he pulled her limp body closer to his chest and rocked her in his arms, running an unsteady hand through her hair. W _hat in the hell had he done?_

Despite the blood pounding in his ears, somewhere in the distance he was vaguely aware of screams and yelling. _The children._

Georg snapped his head up in Elsa's direction. She was frozen to the spot, incapable of reacting. Seemingly unaware of everything else, she was just looking down at him and Maria in horror and disbelief. It was probably the first time he'd seen Elsa wearing such an unguarded expression. It was finally something real, something raw. But there wasn't time to think about that now.

"Elsa!" Georg yelled, trying to get her attention, trying to break her out of the trance she was in. "Elsa! The children! Make sure the children are alright!" His sharp words seemed to snap her back to the reality around them. "Find Frau Schmidt. Tell her to call for the doctor. Get the doctor here immediately."

"Yes…Georg…of course," Elsa mumbled as she pulled herself away from the scene at her feet and turned towards the villa.

"Tell her to send Franz if she needs to," Georg yelled after her.

Taking a few unsteady steps, Elsa still wasn't sure what had just happened. It had all happened so fast. She'd just opened her mouth, but before she could get a word out, the girl was fainting in Georg's arms. She'd just been about to demand that the girl return to the Abbey. It wasn't like her to challenge Georg. In fact, she couldn't remember a time when she had. But she'd been more than patient. He'd gone too far this time.

For weeks now, she'd turned a blind eye to this thing he had for the girl. But when she'd seen Georg kneeling in front of Maria, his hand on her while she held a bunch of flowers, it had been the final straw. She wasn't blind. She could see that there was a familiarity between them. She'd obviously interrupted their moment of intimacy. Damn that girl for returning. And damn Georg for being so caught up in her.

Squaring her shoulders, Elsa was walking a little faster than she normally would. She wasn't sure if the sting of tears was from anger or from feeling so hurt. She couldn't believe that Georg had been barking orders at her. It was like he was back in the navy and she was no more than one of his crew. Of course, she'd seen that side to him before. She'd even seen him use it on the little nun when they'd first arrived from Vienna. But for once, his sharp tone had been directed at her. It hadn't been necessary. It had been upsetting.

But as she made her way up the steps, Elsa knew that wasn't what troubled her the most. It was the image of Georg holding that damn girl in his arms. It had been confronting last night, watching him dancing with her. Seducing her. Losing himself in her. But watching him on the ground holding her in his arms just now, had been devastating. It had been impossible to look away, despite it being the last thing she wanted to see. Georg touching her so gently, so tenderly, as he pulled her closer. Holding onto the girl's limp body so desperately.

She couldn't remember Georg's hand ever touching her so lovingly. The way he spoke to the girl with such tenderness. His lips inches from her. Begging her. Coaxing her. Had he ever spoken to her with such affection? If he had, she couldn't remember. His voice, as he leaned over the girl, had been so unfamiliar. Who knew the man harboured such feeling and emotion? No, it would be some time before she could forget that image. Forget his desperate words, his tender touch. What was it about this girl that had Georg so caught up in her spell, she wondered. There wasn't anything special about her. Nothing appealing.

But somewhere beneath her anger and hurt, Elsa did feel a tinge of guilt. Clearly, the girl was unwell. With her words, she'd not only been responsible for the girl leaving the villa last night, she'd done nothing to stop her. And she hadn't told anyone. Her secret wouldn't be such a burden if the silly girl hadn't been so hopeless. She couldn't even manage to catch a bus.

Glancing up at Elsa on the steps, Georg quickly turned his attention back to Maria. Cupping her cheek, he ran his thumb gently along her jawline. "Fraulein, can you hear me…" he whispered, trying to control the panic. But it was growing. He could feel himself becoming more desperate.

"Maria, please…" he begged her, as he felt tears starting to sting. _God, why didn't she answer him?_

Just as he was wondering whether he should pick her up and carry her inside, her eyelids fluttered. Ever so slightly. But it was something. It was enough! Holding his breath, he could feel the flood of relief. "Maria, it's the Captain. I'm here, I have hold of you. Please, open your eyes…" He couldn't breathe, he could barely think, as he silently begged her to wake up. His heart was breaking seeing her so vulnerable. So helpless. She was always the strong one. _Oh God, not again…_

Maria could hear the Captain's familiar baritone in the distance. But she couldn't make out what he was saying. Where was he? _Where was she?_ She could feel something cold and hard underneath her. Trying to force her eyes open, she could feel an arm around her. Who had hold of her? Why was she lying down? Struggling to focus, she was determined to open her eyes. But it was so bright. She blinked, trying desperately to keep her eyes open.

Finally, starting to focus on what was around her, she looked up. Gasping, she saw the Captain. He was inches away, looking down at her. He seemed concerned. Or was it relief? Oh my, she was in his arms! He was running his fingers gently through her hair! _Surely this was one of her dreams_. But it wasn't. Realising she had hold of his jacket, she quickly let go and pressed her palm against his chest, trying to push him away. What had happened, she wondered, trying to open her mouth to speak.

"Ssshhh…Fraulein, please don't move," Georg murmured soothingly. He could see Maria was confused. He could see uncertainty in her face, the bewilderment in her eyes. He could hardly blame her. He covered the hand that was against his chest with one of his. Taking hold, he squeezed it reassuringly. He could feel his heart sink, knowing that she'd tried to push him away. He hoped it was her confusion. Perhaps the awkwardness of the situation. He couldn't face the possibility that it was anything else. Not right now.

"Ehrm…Fraulein, please…let me explain. You fainted," he stumbled on his words. What was it about this woman that so often reduced him to a stuttering mess? "Somehow, I managed to catch you. Well, kind of…" he grinned awkwardly, cocking his head to one side.

"Oh…" she finally found her voice. She'd fainted? The last thing she remembered was sitting on the bench with the Captain and the Baroness. She looked down and wondered why she was holding onto a bunch of daisies. She tried to think what had happened. What were they doing here? Where was the Baroness?

And then it came flooding back to her! She'd been trying to leave. Trying to escape. There had been tension building between the Captain and the Baroness. It was because of her. The Baroness had been glaring at her…

"The Baroness…" she whispered looking up at the Captain, eyes wide, as she tried to turn her head.

"Ssshhh…" Georg tried to calm her, as he smiled down at her, trying to reassure her. But he was curious. He looked up and watched Elsa making her way up the last of the steps. Why did Maria seem so fearful of Elsa?

As she made her way across the upper terrace to the back doorway, Elsa realised that she couldn't hear the children anymore. Their cries and screams had been most unpleasant. The last thing she needed right now was to be confronted by their distress. Thankfully, she wouldn't have to comfort them. She wasn't sure if she could think of anything nice to say about their _beloved_ governess.

Just before reaching the door, her thoughts were interrupted by the sound of footsteps running across the foyer. As she came to a stop, Friedrich raced past her. She turned and watched him taking the steps two at a time as he made his way to the lower terrace. Beyond Friedrich, she could see that Georg was still holding the girl in his arms. Unable to look any longer, she turned back, making her way inside. Her attention turning to the _orders_ Georg had fired at her, she wondered where on earth she was going to find the housekeeper.

"Fraulein, does anything hurt?" Georg asked gently, turning his attention back to Maria, who was looking up at him.

"No, Captain, I think I should be okay," she looked down, fixing her eyes on the top button of his jacket. "Thank you," she added quietly, glancing up to meet his eyes, unable to stop herself.

"Please, there's no need to thank me," Georg said softly, unable to stop himself from running his thumb down her jawline.

Distracted by movement in the corner of his eye, Georg looked towards the villa to see Friedrich running down the steps.

"Father! What happened? Is Fraulein Maria alright?" Friedrich dropped to his knees, placing a hand on his father's shoulder. "What do you need me to do?" he asked.

Georg looked at his son with pride and smiled. Maria had been right. Friedrich was growing into a fine young man. "It seems Fraulein Maria fainted," he looked back down at Maria, squeezing her arm affectionately. "Fraulein, do you feel well enough to sit up?" he asked tenderly.

Maria nodded.

"Friedrich, can you look after the flowers," Georg asked, prompting Maria to hand the daisies to Friedrich. "Now let's take this slowly."

The Captain held onto her arms to steady her while she pushed herself to a sitting position. A little breathless, she smiled at a concerned Captain and a wide eyed Friedrich, wanting to remove the lines of worry from their faces. She still felt a little giddy, but could feel it passing as she closed her eyes for a moment. "I'm so sorry for causing all this fuss," she said quietly, opening her eyes and looking down at her hands in her lap.

Georg reached out and brushed her cheek with the back of his hand, her eyes immediately flew up to his. "Fraulein, please don't apologise. You're hardly to blame if you're unwell." Couldn't she see that this was entirely his fault? He could feel the guilt gripping him as he thought back to last night. "Frau Schmidt is calling for the doctor, he should be here shortly. In the meantime, Friedrich and I will help you to your room," he turned to his son, who nodded in agreement.

"Oh, Captain! I don't think a doctor is necessary," Maria protested.

"Fraulein, I will not let you return to the Abbey if you're ill," he told her. He couldn't miss the look of resignation that flashed across her face. But there was something else. Was it disappointment? Or perhaps fear? What the hell had happened to Maria last night to strip her of her confidence and spirit? What had she been running from? Had he done this to her? _Please, God, forgive him._

"I'm sure it's nothing serious," Maria protested.

"Fraulein, you won't be going anywhere until you've seen the doctor." _God this woman could be so damn stubborn sometimes!_ "What on earth would the Reverend Mother think of me if I sent you back now!" he added, trying to make light of the situation, more for his own benefit than anyone else's. He couldn't cope with thoughts of her leaving. Even if she was well enough to return to the Abbey, he wasn't ready to let her go. Not yet. He couldn't face that right now. No more than he could face knowing that he'd been responsible for this. Despising himself for being responsible, he knew he had to make amends. Or at least try to.

Standing up, Georg held out a hand towards Maria. As she reached up and cautiously made her way to her feet, he bent down to place a strong hand on her waist to steady her. Friedrich stood behind, ready to catch Maria in case she lost her balance. But that was unlikely now that Georg had both hands on her waist, holding her steady.

"How are you feeling?" he asked, his voice full of concern as he studied her closely for any sign of dizziness. Her cheeks were no longer flushed, instead she was unusually pale. "Are you ready to try a few small steps?"

Georg watched Maria smile, then glanced at Friedrich, who nodded back to confirm that he was ready. Standing beside her, Georg placed his arm around her waist. "Ready?"

Blushing, she really wasn't sure where to put her arm. Last night when they'd been dancing, being this close to him, had been easier. At least she had dance steps to follow. Steps that told her where to put her hands and when. Giving up, she decided to just let her arm hang loosely by her side.

"Ehrm…forgive me, Fraulein, but it might be easier if you put your arm around my waist," Georg could sense her awkwardness, as he tried to hide his own. Unsuccessfully.

Blushing as she turned away, she tentatively put her arm around his waist and grabbed a handful of his jacket. Despite feeling horribly embarrassed, Maria smiled to herself, thinking that it would be impossible to fall again with the Captain's strong arm around her waist.

"What's so amusing, Fraulein?" Georg whispered. Seeing her ghost of a smile, he'd felt his heart skip a beat. It was impossible to ignore. He thought back to her hand pressed against his chest. Maybe she wasn't frightened of him after all. At least she didn't seem repulsed by him.

"Nothing…" she turned to the Captain, blushing. She'd just fainted in his arms and now she was getting distracted. It was impossible not to. His arm felt so nice around her. His warm breath was tickling the side of her face and being enveloped in his musky scent brought back memories of last night. Memories of being held in his arms. Of being pressed so tightly against him that she'd felt the imprint of his body against hers. The good memories, wonderful memories, from last night. Before everything turned into a horrible mess.

He shot her an awkward grin in reply, cocking his head to the side. He was relieved to feel her relaxing a little against him.

The first steps were small and tentative. It was slow going, but Georg didn't dare rush Maria. He could feel most of her weight against him, and sensed that she was still unsteady on her feet. By the time they eventually reached the steps, Max appeared at the doorway, his face unusually serious.

"Georg, I heard all the commotion and helped Liesl take the children upstairs. Dear God, Elsa's just filled me in," he called out as he made his way across the terrace to the top of the steps. "Do you need a hand?" he smiled to himself as it seemed that Georg already had the situation in hand, so to speak.

"All under control, thanks Max," Georg stopped and replied from the bottom of the steps. "Can you make sure the doctor's been called?"

Watching Max turn and disappear back into the villa, Georg turned to Maria. The short walk seemed to have taken its toll, with her breathing a little laboured. "Are you alright, Fraulein?" he asked, unable to hide his concern.

"I'm so sorry, Captain, do you mind if we stop for a minute while I catch my breath?" she asked.

"Of course not. We can take as long as you like, there's no need to hurry," he smiled at Maria then nodded across to Friedrich, trying to ignore his growing unease.

ooooXXXXoooo

Georg sat in the upstairs school room, surrounded by the children. He was sitting in the chair that Maria would normally sit in when the children took their morning lessons. The leaden atmosphere in the room was in stark contrast to the children's colourful pictures pasted haphazardly around the walls.

Before he left for Vienna, he'd rarely stepped inside this room. Not in the past four years, anyway. Back then, he remembered it being stark and serious. Uninviting. But that was before Maria arrived. Now it was colourful and chaotic. Such disorder should enrage him. In the past, it would have. But everything had changed after Maria arrived. He'd changed.

Since returning from Vienna, he'd been in this room many times. Mostly, because he'd found it difficult to stay away. He would linger in the doorway, watching Maria. Eventually, one of the children would notice him. Sometimes, Maria would ask him to take part in the lessons, especially if the older children were studying history. In the beginning, he needed her encouragement, her reassurance. But in recent weeks, her eyes would find his, and that would be enough of an invitation.

Georg wasn't sure if it was a good idea to wait with the children here. After all, there were so many reminders of Maria. Perhaps that's why they'd all been drawn there. Somehow, they felt closer to her in this room. But each reminder made them miss her more. She wasn't there with them, and it felt strange without her. Empty.

Looking down, he smiled at Gretl as she slept in his arms, one hand holding tightly onto the lapel of his jacket. He gently brushed a stray hair from her face. She looked so peaceful now. It was difficult to imagine the tears and hysteria from earlier. As much as Liesl and Louisa had tried, their younger sisters had been inconsolable. Gretl had finally settled in Georg's arms. Exhaustion eventually won.

Brigitta sat on the floor leaning against him, one arm wrapped around his leg. Marta had dragged a chair as close as possible beside his. He had an arm around her, pulling her close, as she rested her head on his leg. Occasionally, he would stroke her hair absentmindedly.

The only sound that broke the heavy silence was the ticking of the clock sitting on the side table. He looked across to it. Again. Three minutes had passed since he'd last looked at it. What in God's name was taking the doctor so long, he wondered. The doctor hadn't arrived until after midday. After they'd finally got Maria safely to her room, the wait had been interminable. But now that the doctor was here, the waiting wasn't any easier.

Looking across to Liesl, he gave her a reassuring smile. He'd give anything to wipe the worry from her eyes. More than any of the children, her memories of sitting around, waiting for doctors was most vivid. When Agathe took ill, Liesl had taken on so much. Too much for a twelve year old. He could see that now. _God, would he ever be free of this guilt?_ He doubted it.

At least with concern for Maria weighing on his mind, he was able to ignore everything else. It was impossible to dwell on the argument he'd had with Elsa before she left for her lunch date. Thankfully, Max had played the peacemaker and went along with her, despite his heavy head. He still couldn't believe that Elsa had expected him to join her. How could he leave the children in the state they were in to go off and have lunch with people he barely knew? How could Elsa not understand that?

Elsa had also questioned why he needed to stay to speak to the doctor after he'd examined Maria. He sighed, perhaps Elsa had seen enough to realise. After all, over the past weeks it had become more difficult to rein in his feelings for Maria. Perhaps she'd seen his teasing and banter as something more. Seen it for what it really was. Maybe he hadn't managed to hide all the stray looks. Had she realised that it was becoming harder for him to stay away from Maria? That his fascination and feelings were growing. Hiding them had become exhausting. It had been getting harder. Denying them now was impossible.

In the end, it probably didn't matter. Elsa would have seen enough last night. He'd been completely lost in Maria, brought entirely undone, while dancing with her in the courtyard last night. It was time to face reality. It was time he realised that his attraction to Maria was no longer his own guilty secret.

Knowing that he deserved her sharp words, Georg realised that he needed to speak to Elsa this afternoon when she returned. But the most important thing now was to be here for the children. He hadn't been there when they needed him in the past four years. Although, he wondered whether he ever really had been? That had always been left to Agathe. She'd been so much better at this than him. Trying to shut those thoughts from his mind, he knew that once he spoke to the doctor, things would become clearer.

But regardless, he needed to end things with Elsa. He was being entirely unfair to her. He'd been unfair for the past two years. He'd let her convince him that it didn't matter that he wasn't in love with her. How had he let that happen?

Just as he was deciding on how to end his relationship with Elsa, Frau Schmidt appeared in the doorway.

"Excuse me, Captain," her soft voice pierced the silence. "The doctor's ready to see you."

Reluctantly, Brigitta moved away from her father's leg and Marta sat up straight in her chair, as she felt the strong arm of her father loosen its grip. Georg looked down at her and smiled, brushing her cheek with the back of his hand. How he wished he could erase the sadness from her eyes.

Standing up with a stirring Gretl still in his arms, he walked over to Liesl and lent down to settle his youngest daughter in her lap. Before standing, he kissed the top of Liesl's head, hoping to somehow reassure her that everything would be alright. But would it?

"Do you want me to stay with the children, Captain?" Frau Schmidt asked as the Captain came towards her.

Georg turned to Liesl, who smiled thinly and nodded at him. "Children, I'll be back shortly," he tried to sound calm, in control, despite his chest tightening from the fear. "Please come with me, Frau Schmidt," he stood aside for her to walk out onto the upper landing ahead of him. He closed the door behind him, not wanting the children to overhear anything that might cause them alarm.

"How is Fraulein Maria?" Georg asked the housekeeper as they made their way along the landing towards the stairs.

"She's resting as best she can," Frau Schmidt tried to reassure the Captain. She could see how fearful he was. She knew that this was like reliving their worst nightmare. For all of them. It was strange how the young governess had made such an impression on them all. She might not be part of the family, but she'd certainly brought the family back together.

Georg nodded grimly. Looking down to the foyer below, he could see Dr Schultz waiting to deliver his news. Bracing himself as they descended the stairs, he hoped it wasn't what he feared.

"Ah, Captain!" the doctor turned as he heard the footsteps coming down the stairs towards him.

 **Thank you once again for all your reviews, special thanks to the guest reviewers.**

 **Please check out "Daydreaming" by Radiohead on YouTube. Although a Radiohead song typically has a multitude of meanings, which often change tack midstream, I love the first verse of this song. For me, it's the daydreamer reprimanding himself for letting his dreams take over his reality, and now, as a result, everything has spiralled out of control and there's no turning back. That probably sums up where Georg is right about now!**

 **I don't own TSOM, but still having a lend.**

 **"** **Immerse your soul in love"**


	8. Chapter 8

**Drift all you like from ocean to ocean  
Search the whole world  
But drunken confessions and hijacked affairs  
Will just make you more alone**

 **When you come home, I'll bake you a cake**  
 **Made of all their eyes**  
 **It all comes flooding back…**

 **"Man of War" Radiohead, "OK Computer OKNOTOK 1997 2017" (2017)**

The villa was strangely silent. At this time of day, the noise from the children's school room should be drifting across the upper landing and into the foyer below. The distant sounds of the midday meal being prepared in the kitchen would be broken by the sound of crockery and cutlery being laid out in the dining room. But today, there was none of that. It seemed that everyone was holding their collective breath. Frightened to move. Scared that any sudden sound or movement might disrupt the fragile balance and plunge everything into an unbearable darkness. Again.

The only sounds that cut through the thick silence were the footsteps of Frau Schmidt and the Captain as they made their way across the upper landing towards the stairs. Their footsteps seemed heavier than usual. Maybe the unusual quiet just made them seem louder.

But Georg knew better. He knew the effort it took to put one foot in front of the other. He was dreading what was to come. After all he'd done this before. Hoping for the best. Expecting something bad. Being told the worst. In the past, he would've fled by now. God knows, how many times in the last four years he'd done that when the children had taken ill. Unable to face the memories. Finding it impossible to provide comfort. Still wishing there was someone there to comfort him. He'd just run away. Escape.

When he'd finally find the courage, if you could call it that, to return, he'd feel even more ashamed. They'd always welcome him home, overcoming their fear momentarily. Children are like that. But behind their smiles, they couldn't hide their disappointment. It was in their eyes. He could hardly bear the burden of looking at them, knowing that he'd let them down again. He'd failed them again. _God knows, how disappointed and appalled he was with himself._ He didn't need to see that reflected back at him. Not seven times over.

Taking a deep breath, Georg knew he needed to push these thoughts away. This wasn't the time to reflect on the past. It was far too late to rewrite history.

 _Love them, Captain, love them all._

He'd lost count how many times Maria's words had come back to him since he'd returned from Vienna weeks ago. Since she'd hurled those hard truths back at him. Today, they needed him. They needed his love. They needed him to be strong. He could do this. Squaring his shoulders, he told himself he could face this. He had to.

"Werner, my friend, what news do you have for us?" Georg called down from the front door landing to the white haired Dr Schultz standing at the bottom of the stairs. He was trying his best to sound cheerful. But he knew he sounded hollow at best. Frau Schmidt was a few steps ahead of him. As she stepped off the last stair, she stood aside so Georg could address the doctor.

"I really wish we could meet under happier circumstances," Georg smiled grimly.

"Georg, I often think that when I'm making house calls," Dr Schultz smiled. He couldn't miss the dark look that moved quickly across his friend's face. "Of course, not all calls are bad," he added, trying to inject some cheerfulness of his own.

"Mmmm..." Georg mumbled in reply, nodding. The elderly doctor had become a family friend after the many visits during the birth of the children. He'd delivered all the children except Liesl. He'd been there for all their falls and injuries. Through all of their illnesses. And of course, he'd been on hand those weeks Agathe fell ill.

"Please tell me, Werner, how is Fraulein Maria?"

"Well, I'm afraid that your governess isn't well. Not at all. But then you probably didn't need me to tell you that," the doctor shook his head. "She has a high temperature and at the moment a fever to match. From what you explained to me earlier, I'm expecting that she'll fluctuate between the fever and chills."

Georg held himself tight, feeling his heart clench on the doctor's words.

"There seems to be the beginnings of a cough. We need to make sure it doesn't turn into something nasty," the doctor continued, hoping to convey the potential seriousness of the situation without causing undue alarm.

"Surely not…" Georg whispered, barely able to speak as he felt his throat constrict.

"Georg, I'm not making that diagnosis. It's far too early. Let's not cross bridges until we get there," he understood his friend's fear. After all, if it hadn't been for the pneumonia, in all likelihood Agathe would have survived her bout of scarlet fever, just as the children had.

"For now, keep Fraulein Maria under constant supervision. No visitors. Keep the children away, they're more susceptible to these things. I understand that this has only come on in the last twelve hours. It's early days, so there's a high risk of passing it on for the next week," Dr Schultz told them. "I've explained everything to Frau Schmidt. Call me the moment anything changes for the worst," he nodded towards the housekeeper. "Now, I must keep moving. I'll see myself out."

"Thank you again, Werner," Georg reached out and squeezed the doctor's arm as he shook his hand. "Thank you for coming at such short notice."

"Think nothing of it, Georg. Remember, call me if anything changes," Dr Schultz smiled grimly as he picked up his bag and made his way up the short stairway to the front door landing. The sound of the front door closing behind him echoed throughout the foyer as Georg and Frau Schmidt stood watching in silence.

"Captain, I'll go and sit with Maria," Frau Schmidt finally broke the silence, already on her way up the stairs and turning towards the staff wing before Georg even realised. He was deep in thought. Deeply troubled by the doctor's words.

"Frau Schmidt…" Georg called up the stairs.

"Yes, Captain?" the housekeeper turned around and looked down to the foyer below.

"Thank you," Georg said quietly. Frau Schmidt smiled grimly and nodded in reply. She turned to continue up the stairs towards Maria's room.

Georg turned towards his study. He knew he had to break the news to the children. But that could wait a few minutes. First, he needed to make some calls.

ooooXXXXoooo

After explaining Maria's illness to the children, they'd finally eaten lunch. Not that anyone had an appetite. Not even Kurt. Sitting around the dining table with just the children had been a stark reminder of mealtimes at the villa before Maria arrived. Back then, the children would sit in an uncomfortable silence, petrified that they might say or do something to ignite his anger. Back then, it didn't take much.

Today, they'd all sat in silence, weighed down with sadness and worry. Sadness that Maria had decided to leave them so suddenly last night. He still wasn't sure exactly why. Worry that she was now ill and confined to bed. Of course, the children had begged him to let them visit Maria in her room. It was out of the question. The last thing he could face was any of them becoming ill. Knowing how hard it would be to keep the children from her room, he'd made arrangements.

At lunch, he'd told the children that their Aunt Hede would be arriving from Vienna later in the afternoon to take them to Trieste for the week. Agathe's parents still had their summer house near the town, along the shores of the Adriatic. They were still there, enjoying the last weeks of summer.

Georg rarely kept in touch with the Whitehead's, except when it came to discussing plans and drawings for new U-boat designs with Agathe's father. Everything else just brought up memories that he couldn't face. Despite keeping his distance, he'd send the children to visit them twice a year. He knew it would have been important to Agathe for the children to maintain ties with her parents. He just found it all too painful being there without her.

As much as the children needed him now, he knew that they'd be in good hands with his sister. He'd arranged for a driver to pick Hede up from her apartment in Vienna. Another local driver would take her and the children to Trieste later in the afternoon.

Strangely, Agathe's mother had warmed to his sister instantly when they first met years ago. But the two women couldn't be more different. Hede was an artist based in Vienna, often travelling across the continent to catch various exhibitions or theatre productions. Her bohemian lifestyle was a direct contrast to the aristocratic airs of Agathe's mother. But despite this, the two women enjoyed each other's company immensely. So, even with such short notice, it had been easy to arrange the children's visit.

But as much as the children loved their grandparents and Hede, there had been loud protests and tears when he'd told them they'd be leaving later that day and staying for a week. It was the right thing to do. He was still haunted by the children becoming ill, one after the other, four years ago. Still, he felt guilty sending them away.

Despite his promises and assurances, the looks in their eyes had been unbearable. Worried that Maria would return to the Abbey while they were away, they'd made him promise he wouldn't let her leave. Although, deep down he wasn't sure if it was a promise he could keep. He wasn't certain he could convince her to stay. Even if she improved within the week and was well enough to leave the villa, surely she'd wait for the children to return. Assuming that she still wanted to return to the Abbey earlier than originally planned.

He had no choice but to send the children away. He just couldn't risk Maria passing anything on to them…

ooooXXXXoooo

It was almost surreal walking along the edge on the lake in the dappled shade of the willows and elms. The larks were in full song and the cool breeze coming off the lake was a welcome relief to the warm summer sun whenever there was a break in the shade. It was such a glorious afternoon. It was almost possible to believe that everything was perfect. Almost. Except, the dark cloud hanging over the villa was casting a long shadow.

After lunch, Georg had suggested that they go for a long walk along the edge of the lake while they waited for Hede to arrive. He'd decided that it would be a good distraction for them all, perhaps for him more than the children. The boys and Louisa were half-heartedly searching for creatures in the shallows and amongst the reeds. Friedrich was trying his best to lift their spirits.

The younger girls were ahead picking bunches of flowers to add some cheer to Maria's room. He'd suggested it to make it feel like she was somehow included in their walk along the lake. But it seemed so empty without her there. If this was a glimpse of what life at the villa would be like without her, he hated it.

It seemed strange spending the afternoon along the lake without her. Often he'd join in their afternoon activities and she was always there. Despite the brave face he wore for the children, he was missing her terribly. And he was sick with worry. He knew that it wouldn't be long before one of the children would mention her name. Again. Or the girls would start singing one of Maria's many songs she taught them. But for a change, he wouldn't hear her beautiful voice rising above theirs. He knew it was the children's way of making it feel like she was there with them. But for him, it made her absence seem even greater.

He wasn't helping the situation though. He'd lost count of the times some ridiculous thought had come to mind, one that he just needed to share with her. But he couldn't. He hadn't realised how often they spoke. How often he shared his thoughts and ideas while they spent time together with the children. He'd taken for granted how much she'd become part of their lives. Part of the family. Part of his world…

They'd turned back towards the villa some time ago. He'd been walking with Liesl most of the way, chatting occasionally, but mostly walking in silence. With Liesl and Hede keeping an eye on the children he knew they'd be in good hands. And of course, the children adored their grandparents. Still, sending them away was weighing so heavily on him.

Maria had been right. Liesl had grown into a young woman without him even realising. But this afternoon, as he walked along the path with his arm around her, she'd just been his little girl. Somehow, he knew that part of him would always see her that way.

Just before he rounded the final bend of the lake with Liesl, he could hear the cries of delight from the young girls who'd been ahead of them. Before he knew it Friedrich, Louisa and Kurt were racing past them towards the villa. If there was one thing that might distract the children from Maria being sick, it was Hede. It was probably the only thing. The children adored her. He smiled. She didn't have any children of her own. She was too involved with her art. Too distracted breaking the hearts of her many male admirers across the continent to settle down.

Now that the upper terrace was in sight, he could see the children swarming around her. "Father, try not to worry about us. We'll be fine for the week," Liesl, who was still at his side, said to him softly.

"I'm going to miss you all terribly," the words were out before Georg could stop them. He couldn't believe that only a few months ago he couldn't wait to leave the children behind.

"Just make sure Fraulein Maria gets well," Liesl pulled him back from getting lost in his dark thoughts. "And make sure you keep your promise and she's here when we get back!" Liesl squeezed her father's hand that was around her shoulder. "But I'm sure you'll make sure she is," she smiled knowingly at him.

Oh God, had his daughter seen something? Had she seen the looks? Felt the unbearable tension in the air between them? Of course, she watched on last night as they danced. _God, had he been so obvious to everyone?_ Even his children?

Georg smiled and pulled her close, kissing the top of her head. Looking up, he caught Hede's eye as she looked over the children towards him. She nodded at him and smiled. He let go of Liesl so that she could go on ahead of him to greet her aunt.

Making his way up the terrace, the children stepped aside as he welcomed his sister with a warm embrace. They'd always been close. Even as children, despite spending so much time apart when they went off to boarding school. This time, though, he probably hugged her a little tighter than usual. And held her a little longer than necessary. "Thank you", he whispered in her ear.

"Georg, you know you only ever have to call," Hede pulled back and smiled at him. It was unusual for her brother to ask for help, so when she'd received his call there'd been no question. No hesitation.

"I know," he replied quietly before turning his attention back to the children. "Now, children, take Fraulein Maria's flowers to the kitchen. Frau Petering will have some vases ready for you. Kurt, can you let her know that we're ready for afternoon tea," he smiled as his younger son's eyes lit up at the mention of food, ruffling his hair affectionately. No one had an appetite at lunch, so he was grateful that it seemed to be returning. Perhaps it was the walk and fresh air. Perhaps this meant the children were feeling less anxious about leaving. Hopefully, they weren't as worried about Maria as they had been. "And make sure you wash your hands," he called after them.

Hede looked at him and raised a brow. She hadn't seen Georg so hands-on with the children in a long time. It seemed that something had changed since she'd last seen her brother. He looked worried, and yet he seemed more relaxed. More like his old self.

Georg smiled and put an arm around Hede's shoulders as they walked towards the back door.

"You look well, Georg," Hede commented. "And the children seem happy."

"Mmmm…" Georg mumbled in agreement.

"Surely not Elsa's doing?" Hede asked sarcastically. Her brother knew her thoughts on the woman he'd been courting for the past two years. Even before Agathe passed, she'd often crossed paths with Elsa in Vienna at various galleries and parties. It was hardly a secret to her brother that they didn't get along.

"No. Not Elsa…" Georg replied vaguely, pulling his sister close as he squeezed her shoulder.

"By the way, where is Elsa?" Hede asked. When she'd met Georg for lunch weeks ago in Vienna, before he'd returned to Salzburg, he'd mentioned that he was bringing Elsa back to the villa to meet the children.

"Lunch in town," Georg replied, turning to his sister. He couldn't miss Hede rolling her eyes. Smiling, he hoped his sister would be gone before Elsa returned.

ooooXXXXoooo

Georg sat on one of the settees in the semi-darkness of the salon, nursing a glass of brandy that he'd almost emptied. It wasn't his first glass for the evening. Far from it. There had been several. Actually, he'd lost count over the past hours. The bottle on the side table was now half empty.

He'd decided to sit in the salon rather than his study so that he'd hear Elsa and Max as soon as they arrived home. Their lunch had been extended to dinner, according to Max's late afternoon telephone call. Elsa had been in Salzburg for several weeks now, so he understood she had much catching up to do with her Viennese friends who'd attended last night's party. But he couldn't help feeling that he was being punished for refusing to join them for lunch. He detested these petty games. Agathe had never played them. He knew that Maria never could play them.

He looked at the clock on the side table. It was almost 9 o'clock. Elsa was definitely out to punish him. He still couldn't believe that she'd expected him to leave the children while they were so upset and frightened. Just for a lunch. She saw how traumatised they were after seeing Maria faint. He realised that it had been growing more strained between the two women. He was entirely to blame for that. But surely Elsa could see sense and reason. He couldn't just ignore the children. Although, to be fair to her, in the past that's exactly what he'd done.

Poor Elsa! Little did she realise that her ridiculous games only made him more determined to put an end to this whole charade. He felt awful that he'd let things get to this point. Elsa was expecting him to propose at any moment. He'd avoided ending things months ago. He'd been a coward. Allowing Elsa to convince him that he would somehow grow into their relationship. He could see now that the longer he allowed things to continue, the more resentful and bitter he would become. It wasn't fair on Elsa. None of this was. _God, she deserved far better_. Much more than a man who couldn't stop thinking about another woman.

At least planning what he was going to say to Elsa was a distraction from the woman who was really weighing on his mind. Maria. Frau Schmidt had barely left her side since the doctor left in the early afternoon.

There'd been no real change. She still had a high fever, occasionally broken by chills that lasted a short time, only for the fever to return. Frau Schmidt was doing her best to keep her comfortable. He had somehow resisted the temptation to check in on her himself. _God knows, he just wanted to see her._ To comfort her. To hold her in his arms. He'd made sure the children were at a safe distance. Now, he needed to speak to Elsa. Then he could focus on Maria. He knew that once he was at her side, it would be impossible to leave.

Hearing the front door open, he threw back the last of the brandy from his glass, just as Elsa's laughter echoed through the silence. Georg closed his eyes as he heard Max trying to quieten her. He knew what this meant. She'd had too many champagnes. Bracing himself, he stood up and made his way to the foyer, placing his empty glass on the side table on the way.

Standing in the foyer, he cleared his throat.

"Oh, Georg, darling," Elsa gushed as she turned to see him standing at the bottom of the stairs. She made her way down towards him. Taking hold of one of his arms, she cupped his cheek and kissed him on the other, lingering a little longer than usual. Max had told her that the children had been sent to Agathe's parents. She could feel her mood lifting again at the thought.

Georg greeted them both with a nod, giving Elsa a thin smile as she tightened her grip on his arm. He felt her press her body against him suggestively. _Oh God, this was not going to be easy._ He closed his eyes, feeling a surge of guilt. It seemed that the time spent with her friends had lifted her spirits. The last thing he wanted to do was upset her. But he knew that was exactly what he had to do.

"Georg, how is our young Fraulein faring?" Max asked, as he came down the stairs from the front door. He had been shocked to hear how ill she'd become.

"Not too well, Max. There's no real change from when you rang earlier," Georg answered. "At least she hasn't got any worse," he added hopefully.

"How are the children?" he asked, the image from earlier in the day hadn't left him.

"Hede called an hour ago from Trieste," Georg replied. "They arrived safely. Although they're all tired after the long drive."

"Good!" Max said, trying to lift Georg's mood, although he knew, looking at his friend, how futile that was. He'd wanted to return to the villa after lunch, but Elsa had insisted they stay for dinner. He hoped Elsa knew what game she was playing. Georg didn't appreciate those sorts of games, and since returning to the villa, things had changed. Georg was different. "I'm off to bed, but let me know if you need me to do anything."

"Thanks, Max," Georg was grateful for the offer.

"Well, good night!" Max turned and made his way up the stairs towards his room.

Georg's eyes followed him until he was out of sight. "Elsa, can we talk?" Georg motioned towards the study. He knew that this conversation was going to be best had behind closed doors.

"Of course, darling," Elsa smiled at him. Perhaps Max had been right. Everything would work itself out now that there'd been time for Georg to reflect on their argument this morning. Maybe he wasn't such a complex man after all. And heaven knows, she was looking forward to the week ahead without the children. Finally, she could spend some time alone with Georg. She wouldn't have to compete for his attention with the children and their bloody governess. And with that damn girl confined to her room, there would be no distractions for Georg. Except for her, of course! She smiled at the thought.

Placing his hand on her back, Georg led Elsa into his study and closed the door behind them.

"Elsa…" he began slowly.

"Yes, Georg?" she turned to him, smiling radiantly as she waited for his apology.

"Elsa, I've behaved badly," he took a deep breath.

"Oh, Georg, there really is no need to explain," she smiled. All afternoon, she knew that he'd be apologising for their angry words earlier in the day. That he'd realise how badly he'd treated her. She just didn't think that it would be so soon. Perhaps his time alone, being left to reflect on his behaviour, had made him realise what was important.

"No, Elsa, I do need to explain." Georg continued. "Along with Max, you saved me from myself some time ago. I will always thank you for that." He stopped to pause and took in a deep breath. "One day I hoped that I would be able to repay you, to show you my gratitude..."

"Oh, Georg…" Elsa lit up. Perhaps her friends were right. It seemed that Georg might finally be ready to propose!

 **Thank you everyone for continuing to read and review!**

 **Please check out Radiohead's "Man of War". It was finally released on OKNOTOK, an album celebrating the 20** **th** **anniversary of the release of their ground breaking album OK Computer in 1997. It was a long wait for this song to finally see the light of day on any album, having been written back in 1995.**

 **Again, it's layered with multiple meanings, but it's a song filled with disappointment, sadness and paranoia. An often absent father, welcomed back whenever he returns home, but it's somewhat superficial. There's the underlying disappointment in their eyes that he left in the first place and the sad realisation that before long he'll leave again. Finally, Georg has stopped the cycle of running away from his children. Let's hope he can end things with Elsa…**

 **Apologies to anyone with even a fragment of medical knowledge. My sister's the nurse in the family, obviously I'm just the accountant…**

 **I don't own TSOM, just having a lend!**

 **"** **Immerse your soul in love"**


	9. Chapter 9

**Breathe, keep breathing  
Don't lose your nerve  
Breathe, keep breathing  
I can't do this alone**

 **Sing, us a song**  
 **A song to keep us warm**  
 **There's such a chill, such a chill…**

 **"** **Exit Music (For A Film)" Radiohead, "OK Computer" (1997)**

"Elsa, please let me finish," Georg reached out and took hold of her hand. He went to run his thumb across her knuckles, but his thumb quickly ran into one of her cluster rings. Pulling him up. Looking down at her hand, he wondered why this was the first time he realised they were in the way. Had there really been so little affection between the two of them?

"I have something important to say, and I need you to listen," Georg told her firmly, as he tried to focus his attention.

"I'm sorry, Georg, darling," Elsa smiled knowingly at him. "I won't interrupt. I promise."

"As I was saying, both you and Max saved me from myself some time ago," he began again. "You know, for that, I will always be grateful. One day, I'd hoped I could show you my gratitude. When we met, I was completely broken. You helped ease so much of my pain." He paused.

Elsa smiled and squeezed his hand. Oh, her friends had been right! The girl had just been a silly distraction. She'd been worrying for no reason after all. Holding her breath, she waited for Georg to continue.

"God knows, Elsa, I had hoped that one day my heart could belong to you…" Georg dropped his gaze and took her other hand in his.

"Georg, what are you saying?" Elsa's heart leapt. After a summer where he'd been distracted by that nun, it seemed he'd finally come to his senses.

"I'm sorry, Elsa, I've come to realise over the past weeks that my heart belongs elsewhere," he looked up at her, the guilt was overwhelming, especially as he saw the sadness flash across her eyes momentarily, before being replaced by her usual, unreadable facade.

"Oh, Georg, I knew that I would always have to share you with Agathe," Elsa laughed nervously. Surely, that's what he meant. Surely, he wasn't talking about that damn governess. It wasn't possible.

"I need to be honest with you," Georg said quietly. "I hoped that we could have a long, happy future together. I wanted to fall in love with you, Elsa. But I'm sorry…"

"It's that girl, isn't it?" Elsa whispered, barely able to ask the question out loud.

"Elsa, I'm sorry. I wish things were different," Georg let go of one of her hands, brushing her cheek with the back of his hand affectionately. "You deserve so much more than I can offer."

Pulling away from him, Elsa turned away. She stared at one of the windows as if she was watching something outside in the distance, even though the drapes were drawn against the darkness outside. She knew there'd been something going on between Georg and the girl. She'd convinced herself it was just a passing infatuation. Once the summer was over and she was back at the Abbey, he'd get her out of his system. Whatever had happened between them he couldn't seriously believe that his future lay with a girl who wanted to become a nun. How dare he let her go over some little summer crush.

"How long, Georg?" Elsa demanded as she turned back on him. "How long has this thing been going on?"

"How long? I don't understand," he asked, confused. "Elsa, nothing has happened between…" he began to explain.

"Georg, don't take me for a fool!" she spat at him, before remembering herself. "I saw you dancing with her last night. You were practically seducing the girl in front of everyone. In front of your children. In front of me…" she choked out. Pulling herself tight, she continued, "There was a familiarity, an intimacy, between you. And don't tell me nothing has happened! I'm not a fool, for God's sake!"

"I've always been honest with you, Elsa. Please, believe me, nothing has happened," Georg begged her to believe him.

"So, this morning on the terrace, when I interrupted the two of you, that was nothing?" she demanded.

"Elsa, what are you talking about?" Georg was confused. It had been such a long day. So much had happened. He had no idea what she meant.

"Georg, I'm not blind!" Elsa hurled at him. "It was all very romantic when I came across the two of you on the terrace earlier today." She couldn't believe that Georg was entirely clueless about what she'd seen. "She had a handful of flowers, you were on your knees. You had your hand on her!"

"Elsa, let me explain…" Georg began. He hated seeing the hurt in Elsa's eyes. As much as she tried, she couldn't hide it. He hated being the reason for it. "Fraulein Maria was given the flowers by the children. Just before you joined us, she went to stand up and almost fainted. I was making sure she was alright. Believe me, Elsa. Nothing has happened behind your back. You should know I'm not that kind of man."

"Surely, this is just a passing thing. Don't be a fool and throw everything away. Not over this silly girl," Elsa pleaded desperately. "It's just a crush, you'll get over it soon enough. That's exactly what I told her, but I'm…"

"What?!" Georg cut her off. What in God's name had Elsa told Maria?

Elsa closed her eyes, realising she'd said too much. She hadn't meant to tell Georg that she'd spoken to the girl last night during the party. She hadn't wanted him to know that she'd tried to scare her off. Especially not now that things had spiralled out of control.

"When did you speak to Fraulein Maria?" Georg demanded.

Elsa took a deep breath and patted her hair. "Oh, Georg, I went to help her find something suitable to wear to dinner last night," she replied sweetly, hoping he would think that there hadn't been anything sinister behind it. "I'm really not sure what Max was thinking inviting her in the first place, I mean after all…"

"Elsa! That's not important. What the hell did you tell her?" Georg cut her off.

"Georg, please, I just pointed out the obvious…" she let out a nervous laugh, trying to ignore Georg's cold stare.

"And what was the _obvious_ , Elsa?" he asked sarcastically.

"Really, is this necessary, Georg?" Elsa knew he would be angry when he learned the truth about last night.

"Humour me, please…" he needed to know what the women had spoken about. He needed to know why Elsa looked so uncomfortable. What was she so reluctant to tell him?

"If you must know, Georg, I told her how obvious her feelings for you had been," Elsa decided she had no choice but to tell him. She knew Georg wouldn't let her go without a full explanation. "Don't give me that look. The girl was so transparent."

"What did she say?" he asked her calmly.

"She denied it of course," Elsa continued. "I told her that what made it so nice was that you thought that you were in love with her."

"You said what?!" Georg demanded.

"Come on, Georg, don't deny it!" Elsa shot back at him. "A young virginal girl. She's a pretty thing, perhaps a little plain. The temptation is almost irresistible. Don't deny you didn't enjoy her attention! Max was no different! I mean, why on earth did he invite her to dinner last night? It was entirely inappropriate!"

Georg shook his head, he couldn't believe what he was hearing. "Go on…"

"Well, Georg, she seemed a little worried. But I told her not to be concerned, you'd get over it soon enough," Elsa told him.

"What?!" Georg hissed. Remembering himself, he closed his eyes and took a deep breath, trying to compose himself. "Then what happened?"

"She told me she was going to leave, and she asked…" Elsa continued.

"You knew?! Oh my God, Elsa!" Georg couldn't hide his shock. "You knew that she left in the middle of the night? Why didn't you stop her?"

"Georg, honestly, I had no idea she was going to take off in the middle of the night," Elsa went on. "She made me promise not to say a word. What was I to do?"

"But, when she didn't make it to dinner, didn't you stop to think?" Georg asked.

"Georg, I was too busy hosting a party to think too much about that silly girl," Elsa replied.

Turning away, Georg cringed at Elsa's words. He flexed his fingers as he tried to calm himself. Elsa knew that Maria had fled the villa. She'd known all along. He couldn't believe it. He couldn't look at Elsa right at that moment. Breathing slowly, he tried to rein in his anger.

After a few minutes of strained silence, but with his back still turned, Georg found his voice. "Elsa, I've heard enough," his voice was low, his anger barely controlled.

"What do you mean, Georg?" Elsa walked beside him and placed her hand on his arm.

"Elsa, this is all my fault," he turned to face her. "I should have been honest weeks ago. I apologise. I thank you for all you've done for me."

"Oh, Georg, is this really necessary?" Elsa asked. "This doesn't have to change anything."

"Elsa, this is for the best," Georg said. "I'll arrange for Max to accompany you back to Vienna tomorrow."

"Oh…"

"I'm sorry, Elsa, I shouldn't have let things…" Georg began.

"No, Georg!" Elsa stopped him. "I don't think I can bear to hear you apologise for the past two years." That would be far too humiliating. It was already bad enough. "I'll pack my bags and be ready to leave in the morning." Squeezing his arm, she kissed his cheek. "Auf wiedersehen, Georg." And with that she made her way out of the study, closing the door behind her.

As soon as it was closed behind her, Elsa leaned against the cool, hard wood of the study door trying to compose herself. Georg's words had been sobering after her afternoon and evening of fine food and champagne. How could she have misread everything so badly? She'd been convinced that Georg's attraction to the girl would only ever be that. An attraction from a distance. She could have overlooked that. After all, she'd grown used to sharing him with the memory of Agathe. But never had she imagined that Georg might act on this thing. Did he honestly think he had a future with the girl?

No that had been incomprehensible. She hadn't even thought it a possibility. Had he even stopped to think of the scandal? Of his reputation? Of her humiliation?

Taking a deep breath, Elsa squared her shoulders. She patted her hair as she moved away from the study and made her way towards the stairs…

Georg walked around to his desk and slumped into the high backed leather chair. Letting out a sigh, he ran an unsteady hand through his hair. He felt a wave of relief wash over him. _God, he was free!_ Only now could he admit how suffocating it had been. He'd felt burdened pretending he was someone he wasn't. But that was nothing compared to the burden of trying to force himself to feel something he didn't.

Not wanting to waste any time, he knew he couldn't stop to think about Elsa's words with Maria. It was hardly important now. He just wanted to be at Maria's side. But first, he needed to make some final arrangements for Elsa's return to Vienna.

Opening the top drawer of the desk he took out two sheets of stationery embossed with his personal monogram. Picking up the fountain pen from the writing set on the desk, he wrote a note to Franz, asking the butler to arrange for a car to take both of his guests back to Vienna. Folding the note, he took an envelope out of the drawer and placed the note in it before sealing it and turning it over to write the butler's name on the front.

In the note that he was going to leave under Max's bedroom door, he explained that he needed his friend to accompany Elsa back to Vienna. That she would be returning permanently.

Standing, he turned off the lamp on his desk and made his way out of the study, stopping to lock the door behind him. He made a detour to the kitchen, leaving the note for Franz on the side table. He then made his way up the stairs, turning to the guest wing. He stopped outside Max's room and slid the envelope under the door.

As he made his way along the upper landing towards Maria's room, Georg could feel his heart racing, his breathing becoming a little shallow. He knew part of it was the fear of being faced with images that had haunted him for the past four years. Images of the woman he loved completely helpless. Utterly vulnerable. And him totally powerless to help. He wasn't certain how he was going to react when confronted with seeing Maria so ill.

But his fear was mixed with the heady excitement of knowing that he was free. Free to gaze upon Maria without having to remind himself that he shouldn't. Free to be with her, without reminding himself that he needed to avoid her. Free to finally touch her. Feeling his fingers burning at the thought, he flexed them to remind himself that he needed to stay calm.

Finding himself outside Maria's bedroom door, he stopped and knocked gently. He heard Frau Schmidt calling out to enter. Taking a deep, calming breath, he opened the door and let himself in. Closing the door behind him, he turned slowly towards Maria's bed, taking in a sharp breath. He'd told himself he was going to be strong. He'd braced himself. But he still wasn't prepared. In the dim light of the bedside lamp, she lay back, propped up on pillows. Her face flushed, a slight sheen of perspiration on her brow, evidence that the fever was still with her.

"How is she, Frau Schmidt," Georg quietly asked the housekeeper. He took a few steps into the room and reached out to hold onto the cast iron frame at the foot of the bed. He needed something to steady him. To ground him.

"There's been no real change, Captain, which we should be grateful for," Frau Schmidt turned to him and smiled wearily. "The fever hasn't broken yet. Occasionally, the poor girl will suffer a terrible chill, but then the fever returns."

"Frau Schmidt, you look exhausted," Georg couldn't hide his concern for the woman who'd been such an important part of the household for years. He owed her so much. Especially these past four years. "Please go and get yourself some rest," he demanded gently. "I'll sit with Fraulein Maria tonight."

"Are you sure, Captain?" Frau Schmidt questioned. "I can stay. You don't need to put yourself out."

"I'm certain," he nodded at her. "You can't watch over Fraulein Maria all day and night. You need to get some sleep. Please, I don't want you becoming ill as well. I'll call you the minute I need you."

"Thank you," she smiled as she rose from the chair beside the bed and moved towards the door.

"Frau Schmidt?" Georg stopped her just as she was about to open the door and let herself out of Maria's bedroom.

"Yes, Captain?" she turned back.

"Baroness Schraeder will be returning to Vienna tomorrow morning with Herr Detwieler," Georg told her.

"For how long, Captain," Frau Schmidt asked. Over the weeks, she hadn't warmed to the Baroness who was always reminding her of her place as the housekeeper. It had never been like that with the Captain or his wife.

"She won't be returning," Georg stated flatly.

"I understand," she replied. "Call me if you need anything. Good night, Captain," nodding, she turned and let herself out, closing the door softly behind her.

Watching the door close behind Frau Schmidt, Georg turned back towards Maria. He couldn't move. Standing at the end of the bed, he clung to the cast iron frame holding his breath. If he didn't know any better, if he hadn't heard the doctor's words, he could easily imagine that she was just sleeping.

Finally finding the strength to move, Georg forced himself from the end of the bed along the edge towards the head of the bed. Unable to take his eyes off her, he unbuttoned his suit jacket and threw it over the back of the chair beside the bed. Taking off his cufflinks, one at a time, he placed them in the pocket of his trousers. Rolling up the sleeves of his crisp, white shirt, he still couldn't take his eyes off Maria. Finally, he loosened his tie and threw it on top of his jacket. Still not breaking his gaze, he undid the top buttons of his shirt.

Now that he was free of Elsa, now that he could tell Maria exactly how he'd been feeling all these weeks, he couldn't. And it was all his fault. The irony wasn't lost on him. It may have been Elsa's words that sent Maria fleeing into the night, but he was responsible. It was because of him that Elsa had followed Maria to her room last night.

Reaching across to the bedside table, he lifted the wash cloth from the bowl of water beside the lamp. He squeezed the water from the cloth, the sound of the water falling into the bowl below the only sound other than Maria's laboured breathing and the blood pounding in his ears.

He gently wiped Maria's forehead with the damp cloth. She mumbled a few, incoherent words. He thought he may have heard her call his name. Did he hear her call him Captain? Perhaps he was just being hopeful. How could she know he was here with her?

"Ssshh…" he whispered, trying to calm her. Trying to settle her. "Maria, it's me, the Captain. I'm here now…"

After gently wiping her face with the cooling cloth, Georg tenderly brushed her fringe from her forehead. Her hair had been damp with perspiration. His efforts to cool her with the cloth had made her hair cling together in little clumps. He was surprised how hot she felt under his much cooler hand.

In the warm light thrown across the room by the lamp, he could almost imagine that nothing was wrong. Lying back against the pillows, with her lips slightly parted, her eyelashes resting on her cheeks, she looked so peaceful. So serene. So beautiful.

It was only her heavy, laboured breathing that betrayed how ill she was. He knew it was still possible that she may avoid pneumonia. But it didn't ease any of the fear and guilt he was carrying.

"Maria, I'm so sorry," he whispered as he cupped her flushed cheek. "I never meant for any of this to happen." He could feel his throat tightening, as the tears started to flood his eyes. Clenching his jaw against the emotions, he knew he had to stay strong.

Pulling the chair closer to the bed, he sat down on the edge of the seat. Maria had settled a little, but was still restless. The blankets were pulled up to her chest, both arms rested on top of the bed covers. Her nightgown covered her arms, the sleeves stopping just above her wrists. He smiled, despite everything. The last time he'd found himself in Maria's room was her first night at the villa. She'd been bounding around the room singing so loudly he could hear her above the thunderstorm all the way across the other side of the villa.

She'd been leading the children in a rebellion against his rules. It had started earlier in the day. When he'd introduced her to the children and she'd made no attempt to hide her contempt for his rules. She'd refused to use her whistle in the most seductive way. It had been unnerving. That's when he started to unravel. By that evening, she'd recruited all the children in her campaign against him and the minor insurrection was starting to look a lot like a mutiny.

Taking her hand and running his thumb across her knuckles, he felt his heart beat a little faster as his mind drifted back to the day he'd returned from Vienna. He'd been faced with a full blown revolution. Reaching across, he brushed a stray hair and tucked it behind her ear. _God, where would he be without this incredible woman?_

"Ssshhh..." he tried to calm her as she again stirred restlessly, mumbling something incoherent. Again, he thought he heard his name. Again, he was probably just being hopeful. Just wanting to hear his name on her lips. But he was being ridiculous. _God, he didn't even know if she shared his feelings._ She did run away after all. After Elsa had told Maria how he felt. He could hardly blame Elsa. This was all his own doing. He could feel his throat tightening again as he accepted that his actions had led to this.

She was still gripped by fever. So he knew he would have to wait before telling her of his feelings. She probably wasn't even aware that he was here with her.

So far, since he'd walked into Maria's room, he'd been able to shut out the images of Agathe. It was the only way he could find the strength to be here. To allow Frau Schmidt to get some much need rest. But as Maria was becoming more restless, his mind drifted to Agathe. When she was gripped by the fever, she would find peace and comfort when he sang to her.

"Ed-el-wiess," he began, his voice unsteady, barely more than a whisper, as he choked back the tears. "Ed-el-weiss," he forced himself to continue as a tear escaped and tracked its way down his cheek. He could feel Maria relax, even though he was only holding onto her hand. "Ev-ery morn-ing you greet…" He stopped. The tiniest ghost of a smile crossed Maria's lips. Forcing himself to continue, despite more tears following the path of the first, "Small…and white…" he choked out, barely able to breathe let alone sing.

"I'm so sorry, Maria," he rasped as he held her hand tightly in his, dropping his head onto their hands. "Please, Maria, we need you…I need you…" he whispered as he gave in to the emotions he'd been fighting since he read Maria's note last night in his study. Telling him that she was leaving. Telling him that she wanted to return to the Abbey.

"Please forgive me…"

In the semi-darkness, his sobs and pleas for forgiveness drowned out the sound of Maria's heavy breathing.

ooooXXXXoooo

Maria coughed, feeling her chest ache with every sudden movement. Her throat was dry and sore, and every part of her body felt heavy. Weighed down with a weariness like she'd never felt before.

Opening her eyes slowly, she looked at the familiar pattern on the ceiling as her eyes grew accustomed to the dim light. She realised that she was in her room at the villa. But what was wrong with her hand? Looking down, she suddenly caught her breath. It was the Captain!

She didn't expect to see him here in her room. Surely she was dreaming. She quickly looked away, expecting him to not be there when she looked down again. Where was Frau Schmidt? The last time she'd opened her eyes, she'd seen all the children standing around her bed, wide-eyed and ready to embark on their next adventure. Frau Schmidt had told her that she must have been dreaming. The children weren't there. She could have sworn they were. Relieved, she'd barely been able to lift her head, let alone think of getting out of bed and dressed to join the children.

Glancing down again, she gasped, seeing that the Captain was still there. He had hold of her hand in both of his. He was sitting on the edge of the chair with his head to the side resting on their hands. He seemed to be in a deep sleep. Had he been there long? He looked so peaceful. The usual worry and weariness had left him. A lock of hair, normally swept back and immaculately in place, had fallen over his forehead. She couldn't help thinking how young and dashing it made him look. Deciding that she must be dreaming, she reached across with her other hand and tentatively, gently, caught the stray lock and swept it back in place.

The Captain stirred for a moment, but then went back to his deep, regular breathing. Intrigued, she reached down and tenderly ran her hand through his hair again. If this was a dream, what harm could it do, she asked herself. After all, she'd dreamt this before. Many times more than she could admit to.

Feeling brave, Maria ran her fingers along his jawline, fascinated by the rough stubble under her fingers. Just as she was about to trace his lips with her finger, she was startled by the Captain suddenly sitting up and catching her hand in his.

"Maria," he whispered, as she let out a squeal and then descended into a fit of coughs.

Leaping to his feet, he helped her sit up straighter against the pillows, while she caught her breath in between coughs.

Once the coughing had subsided, he took the glass of water off the bedside table and held it to her lips as he placed a steadying arm around her shoulders. "Slowly…" he whispered as she started taking in large gulps.

"Is that better?" he asked tenderly taking the glass away as she pulled back.

"Thank you," she replied hoarsely, quickly moving her eyes away from his. "What…?" she started to ask, but drifted off as the effort to talk became too much.

"I'm giving Frau Schmidt a break," he said as he placed the near empty glass back on the table. "I hope you don't mind," he asked quietly as he turned back.

He could feel his heart leap as she shook her head and gave him a smile.

"Good," he smiled back, unable to hide his relief. "Now, let's get you settled again," he started lowering her to a more comfortable position against the pillows. Lifting her arms, he placed them under the covers and pulled the covers back up.

"Thank…" Maria tried to thank him, but her voice gave out before she could finish. "Thought I...dreaming..." she tried to explain.

"Ssshh, Fraulein, please there's no need to thank me." how could he accept her thanks when this was all his fault. _God, how had he allowed things to get so out of hand?_ "Please try not to talk."

Clearing his throat, he noticed a book on the side table. "Do you mind if I read to you?" he asked picking it up.

Maria smiled and nodded "Please. I'd like that…" she whispered.

Turning the book over, Georg smiled to himself. "Ah-ha! Still being entertained by Miss Austen I see!" he teased as he saw the familiar edition of Pride and Prejudice. The children had insisted he purchase it for Maria while on an excursion to town some weeks ago. They'd found themselves in a bookshop and he'd quickly given in to the children begging him to buy Maria a book of her choosing. He could hardly resist. She'd argued that she could borrow books from the villa library. But the children wanted her to have one she could call her own. For the first time in hours, he felt his heart leap as Maria smiled back at him. Genuinely smiled. Her eyes lighting up at his teasing words.

"Close your eyes, Fraulein, and I'll continue on from where you left off," he ordered her gently, turning to the pages bookmarked by a piece of pressed edelweiss.

"Ah, I see we're up to the dance at Netherfield," Georg commented. Although, judging by the worn pages and knowing how quickly Maria devoured a book, he couldn't help feeling that this was probably the second or third time Maria had read the book.

Settling down in the chair beside the bed, and happy that Maria was as comfortable as could be, he started reading in his smooth baritone. He glanced up every so often to check that Maria was resting. It wasn't long before her head had rolled slightly to the side towards him. She was breathing more deeply, even though her breathing was still shallow and laboured.

Pausing, he retrieved the pressed edelweiss and placed it back in the book. Turning the book in his hand, he noticed a dog eared page towards the back. He smiled. Ah, he knew Maria was on her second reading of the book, at least! Opening up to the page, he started reading. It was the beginning of a new chapter. Chapter 18 in the final part of the story. But his attention was drawn to the second paragraph. It had been marked with a little cross in grey pencil.

His breath caught as he read the words:

 _"_ _I cannot fix on the hour, or the spot, or the look or the words, which laid the foundation. It is too long ago. I was in the middle before I knew that I had begun."_

Oh, God, she felt it too…

 **Thank you for continuing to read and review!**

 **Apologies for losing complete control of the word count on this chapter. A challenging week at work (in the best kind of way), and this chapter became one of my escapes. As you can see, I needed to escape often!**

 **Please check out Radiohead's "Exit Music (For a Film)" on YouTube. Included on "OK Computer", it was written to accompany the closing credits for the film "William Shakespeare's Romeo + Juliet" – a modern and (typically) flamboyant interpretation of the classic by the Australian director Baz Luhrmann. Thom Yorke's desperate pleas and vulnerable admission that he can't "do this alone" are heartbreaking. And then, everything just gets totally messed up.**

 **While on a recent holiday, I bought a copy of Pride and Prejudice while sitting out flight delays at the airport. Even after all these years, Jane Austen can still lay claim to gifting us some of the best words ever published. This paragraph just took my breath away. How do you pinpoint that moment you fell in love? It's too hard – before even realising, you just know that you have.**

 **I sadly don't own TSOM, I definitely don't own Pride and Prejudice – had a little lend of both this time.**

 **"** **Immerse your soul in love"**


	10. Chapter 10

**Cracked eggs, dead birds  
Scream as they fight for life  
I can feel death, can see its beady eyes  
All these things into position  
All these things we'll one day swallow whole  
And fade out again**

 **And fade out again**

 **Immerse your soul in love  
Immerse your soul in love **

**"** **Street Spirit (Fade Out)" Radiohead "The Bends" (1995)**

Georg sat at his desk and ran an unsteady hand through his hair, trying to force his unruly fringe back into place. He knew it was pointless. He knew that he should just go and wash. But there was no time for that. He hadn't looked in a mirror. He could only imagine how dishevelled he looked in his creased shirtsleeves. But he didn't care. That could all wait. There was only one thing that mattered at the moment. Maria.

 _"_ _I cannot fix on the hour, or the spot, or the look or the words, which laid the foundation. It is too long ago. I was in the middle before I knew that I had begun."_

The words had been running around his head since he'd read them hours ago in Maria's room. He'd been trying to calm her back to sleep her after she'd woken. Reading from the book beside her bed had helped settle her. But finding those lines marked at the back of the book had had the opposite effect on him. They'd left him flustered. A little unnerved. Who would have ever imagined that the words of Jane Austen would have had such an impact on the great Georg von Trapp?

God knows, he'd even brought the book with him to his study. It wasn't just so he could churn over those lines. Somehow it was like bringing a small part of Maria with him. Putting the book down on his desk, he knew he was being irrational. It must be the lack of sleep, surely. But running a finger across the front cover, he felt closer to her. It felt special holding something that she'd clearly held dear, something that she'd poured over. Something that had struck such a chord with her. Somehow, it made him feel like he wasn't alone. Like she was here with him.

Last night, he hadn't been able to rest after reading those words. After all these hours, it felt like his heart was still racing. His mind definitely was. All he could think was that she cared for him. It was almost too much for him to bear. Too much for him to comprehend. He'd hoped. He'd dreamed. Yesterday, when she'd returned to them, he'd decided that he needed to fight for this woman. He hadn't been sure of her feelings. But it seemed that she already felt something for him. Despite everything, knowing that brought a smile to his lips.

He was certain that he hadn't imagined that she'd touched his face. Rubbing his jawline, ignoring the stubble under his fingers, he was sure he could still feel her soft, tentative touch. He'd woken with a start. From a dream. But surely he hadn't imagined it. Of course, the dream had been about her. They always were these days.

Leaning back in the leather chair behind his desk, he let out a sigh. Frau Schmidt had hunted him out of Maria's room a short while ago. She'd explained that she needed to freshen things up. It had been difficult to leave Maria's side. The housekeeper had given him a look that had been a mixture of sadness and fear. Without any words, it told him that she understood. That she was also finding this hard. He owed Frau Schmidt so much.

Having already decided that he couldn't waste time bathing or shaving, he wondered how long he'd have to wait before he could return to Maria's room. Checking the time on his wristwatch, he noted that it would be another hour before the driver arrived at 10 o'clock to take Elsa and Max back to Vienna. He felt a pang of guilt for letting things drag on with Elsa for so long. He'd never really loved her the way a man who was about to propose should. It was a relief to have finally been honest with himself. It was a relief to have finally ended their relationship.

But who could have predicted the chain of events his inactions would lead to? He picked up Maria's book and opened it at the dog eared page. Again. Even though he had now committed those words to memory. Knowing that she'd lingered over those pages, those words, made him feel closer to her as he ran his thumb tenderly over them. He wondered how she'd felt when she first read them, those weeks ago. Had she been sad, knowing that he was courting Elsa? Had she been hopeful? Had she dared to dream? Had she…

But his thoughts were suddenly interrupted by the study door being thrown open.

"Georg, you need to explain yourself! What the hell is…" Max burst into the study brandishing the note that he'd found under his bedroom door earlier that morning. But he pulled up suddenly when he saw his friend's appearance. Instead of the usual pressed suit, tie and immaculately groomed appearance, he was confronted by creased shirtsleeves, unruly hair and a growth that must be nearing the end of its second day. "Dear God, what's happened to you? You look a mess, old man."

Georg looked at Max and gave him a thin smile. As much as he knew he owed his friend an explanation, he really wasn't in the mood.

"What's happened?" Max demanded, still standing in the middle of the room. "Is it our young Fraulein? Is everything alright?"

"The fever still has a hold, but at least she's no worse," Georg answered in a flat voice. "Take a seat, Max," he nodded to the empty chair in front of his desk.

"Interesting reading material you have there. I never imagined you were interested in historical romances," Max nodded towards the copy of Pride and Prejudice Georg still had in his hand as he took a seat. "I'm sure I've seen Fraulein Maria reading that one in the evenings. Swapping books with the young governess?" he added, amused at Georg's discomfort and trying to lighten the heavy atmosphere in the study.

Georg had forgotten that he was still holding the book. Setting it aside, he turned back to Max and gave his ear a tug. "Ah, yes, well…" he replied lamely. "Never mind that Max, what was it you wanted?" he asked.

"Georg, you simply must explain what is going on," Max turned his attention back to the note he was now waving in the air.

"I would have thought I'd made myself clear," Georg nodded at the note. He was too exhausted for this. He hadn't allowed himself to fall asleep again last night, forcing himself to maintain his vigil over Maria.

"You know I'm not questioning what's in the note, but have you thought this through?" Max asked. "Two nights ago you held a party and introduced Elsa to half of Salzburg. Remember her? The woman you've been courting for two years. Georg, everyone, including Elsa, is expecting an engagement announcement. They're not expecting this," he waved the note again.

"Max, I really don't want to discuss this," Georg decided that he'd try to shut down the conversation. "I'm just asking you to accompany Elsa back to Vienna."

"I know you don't want to talk about it. Please, spare me the details. I just need to know why so I can give Elsa the support she's going to need." Normally Max would be keen to hear all the gossip, but not when it came to his close friends. He'd known both Georg and Elsa for years. He'd been the one who'd made the initial introductions, certain that his two widowed friends would instantly hit it off. Much to his delight, they had. But over the summer, he'd noticed Georg becoming increasingly distracted by the young governess. He had to admit that it was impossible not to be drawn to her energetic and vibrant nature. But obviously something had shifted two nights ago.

"I can see your point…" Georg had to admit that it was a bit much to expect Max not to have some background. "I'm not really sure where to start…" he ran his hand through his hair.

"Well, clearly something happened the night of the party. Elsa seemed livid, you looked horribly distracted and our little Fraulein disappeared into the night," Max prompted.

"Yes, well…" Georg was rarely this unsure of himself. But how could he explain the unfortunate chain of events he set off?

"Georg, it's me you're talking to. For God's sake, just get it off your chest," he'd seen his friend at his lowest. He'd dragged him back from the edge of the black hole he'd almost fallen into four years ago. He was concerned by the man sitting in front of him. He was exhausted, uncertain and looking nothing like his usual self. "Whatever it is, this thing looks like it's eating away at you. Just tell me for God's sake."

"You're right, Max. You're right…" he sighed as he leaned back into his chair. Perhaps speaking to Max would help. _God knows, it couldn't do any harm._

"So, tell me, what happened at the party," Max gently encouraged.

"Max, I danced with her…" Georg whispered as he drifted off, the memory of Maria in his arms flooding back. He moved his eyes away from Max, as he looked off into the distance. It was the night of the party, he was back in the courtyard. He could feel her against him. He could see her flushed cheeks, the smile, the unmasked desire in her eyes. He smiled at the memory…

"Her? With Elsa?" Max had seen Georg dancing with Elsa. Why would he be looking so guilty about that?

Pulled back from his images of Maria, Georg looked at his friend like he'd gone completely mad. "Elsa?" he questioned. "Of course, I danced with Elsa. But that's not who I meant." He paused, taking a deep breath to steady himself. "Max, I danced with Maria…" it was barely a whisper.

"What?! The governess?!" Max wondered if he'd misheard. Surely he had. This was not what he'd imagined. Why was he only hearing about this now? He sucked in a breath at Georg's slow, deliberate nod. "But I don't understand, how does that change anything? I know she's been a rather pleasant distraction this summer, but what does a dance have to do with this?" he questioned, waving the note in the air. "Good Lord, what did you do?" he shot back, as he saw Georg's guilty look.

"Max, she was teaching Kurt the Laendler out in the courtyard," he explained. "I couldn't help myself…" he added. The guilt was overwhelming, especially after everything that had happened. But he knew he wouldn't have done anything different. It had been impossible to stop himself from walking out into the courtyard. There had been no question in his mind when he held out his hand to her.

"I'd noticed how you were caught up in the girl's charms, but I thought it was harmless," Max was now wishing that he'd pulled Georg aside earlier. He should have tried to put an end to the silliness that seemed to have taken hold. "The Laendler?! Tell me you didn't kiss the poor girl," Max grinned at his friend, but was suddenly serious when he saw Georg's thunderous look. "So, you were dancing with her, then what happened?"

"I wish I knew, Max," he couldn't even begin to explain that he'd completely lost himself. How could he describe the feeling of them being the only two people in the entire world? "We got caught up in the moment…" it was a whispered confession as he looked away.

"What exactly does that mean?"

"I felt something I hadn't felt for four long years, Max," he glanced back, holding and then challenging his friend's look of surprise. "I would have kissed her if she hadn't pull away…"

"Dear God! Did Elsa find out?" Max asked quietly.

"She was there…" Georg muttered, his eyes darting away as Max's brow shot up in surprise.

"Poor Elsa, what on earth did she see?" Max smoothed his moustache, trying to settle himself. Why hadn't Elsa told him about this?

"I'm not certain, Max," Georg still wasn't sure. "She wasn't in the courtyard when I first walked out, but after we finished dancing, well…she was there."

"Then what happened?"

"We all tried to pretend nothing had happened…" Georg smiled grimly, the irony not lost on him. Finally, after four years, something _had_ happened. He'd finally felt something, and he'd had to pretend that he was still feeling nothing. "Max, what happened next, well…it's all my fault…"

"What on earth happened next?"

"After you invited Fraulein Maria to join us for dinner, Elsa followed her upstairs to her room," Georg shot Max an accusing look.

"Oh, my…" Max whispered.

"Elsa confronted Maria. She tried to scare her off," Georg decided Max didn't need to hear exactly what was said between the women.

"Oh, the poor girl," Max had seen Elsa in full flight, he knew she could be intimidating. Especially if she was trying to protect what she thought was rightly hers. "So, she scampered off into the night?"

Georg nodded. "She spent all night down the road waiting for the bus," he explained. "I'll never forgive myself…" he added softly. "Max, I can't blame Elsa. It's all my fault. I treated Maria appallingly. I completely ignored her after we danced. When you invited her to dinner, I acted like I didn't care."

"So, you've called things off with Elsa," it was said quietly, more of a statement than a question.

"I did what I should have done some time ago," Georg confirmed.

"So, what happens now?" Max asked. Surely his friend couldn't be thinking of a future with his children's governess?

"I pray that Maria gets well," Georg said softly.

"We'll all be doing that, my friend," Max smiled thinly. "And then…?"

"I pray that she feels something for me…" Georg replied.

"Forgive me, Georg, but you're not seriously considering pursuing something with your children's governess?" Max could imagine the outrage. He could imagine Elsa's humiliation. Being passed over by Austria's most eligible man for the governess to his seven children. It would be a scandal for everyone involved.

"Max, when Agathe passed away, I discovered that life is short and fragile," he tried to hide his sadness, but even after all this time, it was impossible. "I'm not going to let the gossip of some bored socialites dictate my life. I really don't care what anyone else thinks."

"I see…" Max smoothed his moustache as he contemplated the fallout.

"Thank you for taking care of Elsa for me, Max," Georg smiled at his friend.

"Think nothing of it," Max waved away the words of gratitude.

Georg smiled across the desk as he picked up Maria's book. Pushing his chair back, he stood up. "I think I'll go check on Fraulein Maria." Although it had barely been an hour since he'd left her side, it felt much longer.

"Can I suggest something?" Max called after Georg who was already halfway across the room.

"What is it, Max?" spinning around, Georg couldn't hide his impatience.

"Go shave and freshen up first," Max raised a brow at his friend. "You'll scare the poor girl if you turn up looking like you've spent the past week on one of those damn U-boats."

ooooXXXXoooo

Feeling better for having taken Max's advice, Georg walked along the upper landing past the children's rooms. The shave and wash had helped wake him up after a night of very little sleep. Not so long ago, the silence from the children's rooms would have brought him relief. Not now. Now he wished that he could hear the children playing and arguing amongst themselves. It was just another reminder of everything that had happened in the past 48 hours.

Making his way around to Maria's room, he slowed his pace as he steeled himself. He knew that seeing her would again bring back images of Agathe. Although they were fading a little now. They were being replaced by images of a seriously ill Maria. He was carrying her copy of Pride and Prejudice, clutching it to him a little tighter than necessary. He knew it was ridiculous, but it felt like his only link to Maria. They hadn't been able to speak freely about their feelings, but through her book, she'd explained how she felt.

Arriving outside her room, he took in a deep, steadying breath and braced himself as he knocked softly on the door. Expecting Frau Schmidt to call out, he was surprised when the housekeeper opened the door.

"Captain!" Frau Schmidt hadn't expected to see him back so soon. But then, it was obvious how much he'd come to care for the children's governess over the summer. They all had. No one was sure how she'd managed it, but Maria seemed to have a way of making him see sense and reason. The old Captain had slowly been returning as the summer passed. "I wish I could say that Fraulein Maria is resting peacefully, but she's been unsettled since you left."

"Thank you, Frau Schmidt," Georg smiled. "I'll sit with her."

"Are you sure? It really is no trouble."

"I'm certain," Georg insisted.

"Of course," Frau Schmidt nodded and gave him a look that told him she understood. "I should go and check if Baroness Schraeder needs any help," she added as she moved past the Captain. She knew it was an uncharitable thought, but she wasn't going to be sad to see the last of the Baroness. She was grateful that the Captain had the good sense to call things off. The woman didn't have a maternal bone in her body. She hadn't seen her with the children at all over the weeks since she'd sashayed in from Vienna in her flowing silk dresses.

"Before you check on the Baroness, please call the doctor and ask him to come back this afternoon," Georg asked her.

"Certainly, Captain," Frau Schmidt tried to hide the surprise in her voice. She didn't think there'd been any change that warranted the doctor to come back to the villa so soon.

"I'm not taking any chances," Georg replied grimly. Not this time. Not after last time.

"Of course not," the housekeeper nodded sympathetically. Who could blame him for being so cautious after the death of his poor wife?

Georg watched as Frau Schmidt made her way towards the stairs. He was thankful that he hadn't encountered Elsa since last night. It's not that he was a coward, he just didn't want to see her pained expression again. She'd been a good friend to him when he'd needed one. But that wasn't enough of a reason to get married. He realised that now.

Turning his attention back towards Maria's room, he stepped in and closed the door behind him. With the drapes drawn against the morning sun, the room was dark except for the thin shafts of light that found their way between the cracks of the drapes.

Hearing a garble of whispered words, he turned back to the bed where Maria was lying. Quickly making his way across the room, he returned her book to the bedside table and dropped onto the edge of the bed beside her. Frau Schmidt had been right. She was listless and mumbling softly to herself. Reaching up, he ran the back of his hand down her cheek. _Oh God, she felt so hot under his touch!_

"Ssshh, Maria…" he whispered, taking one of her hands in his. "Maria, it's the Captain. I'm here now," he cupped her cheek in his other hand.

She stopped and turned her head towards him. Although she didn't open her eyes, he felt certain that she knew he was there.

"Fraulein," he whispered as he smoothed her hair tenderly. "I'm going to stay here with you, but you need to rest. Please try to get some rest."

"Baroness…?" he could barely make out the word.

"Fraulein, I've called things off with Elsa. She's returning with Max to Vienna this morning," he explained to her.

His heart soared as he felt her squeeze his hand with what little strength she had. Letting go of her hand as he stood up to get the damp cloth to cool her down a little, he immediately spun around when he heard her whimper at the loss of contact. Turning back, he impulsively bent to kiss her on the forehead. "Maria, I'm not leaving," he repeated softly. "I promise."

Taking hold of her hand again, he used his other to wring out the cloth that had been sitting in a dish of water on the bedside table. Whispering comforting words, he gently, lovingly, wiped her face with the cloth, hoping to cool her down. Even if only a little. Placing the cloth back in the dish, he turned as he felt Maria squeezing his hand in thanks.

"I'm just going to let go of your hand for a minute," he warned her this time. Bending down towards her, he whispered, "I need to take this blasted jacket off!" He grinned when he saw the smallest smile tugging at her lips.

Reluctantly letting go of her, he quickly undid the buttons down the front of his jacket and threw it over the back of the chair beside the bed. He tugged at his tie, pulling it over his head and throwing it on top of the jacket. Taking off his cufflinks, he placed them on the bedside table and rolled up his shirtsleeves.

"Ah, that feels better!" he said as he sat back down on the bed beside Maria, undoing the top buttons of his shirt.

Opening her eyes slowly, Maria smiled at him. Why did she feel safe when he was here? It made no sense. When she closed her eyes, the dreams and the images didn't seem nearly as frightening when he was beside her. Somehow, she could tell when he wasn't there. It was like a sixth sense. She couldn't explain it. But he'd promised her that he'd stay. With him here, she could close her eyes and try to rest. But there was one thing that was still troubling her.

"The…children…" she managed a raspy whisper, the two words almost impossible to get out.

"Ssshhh…" he murmured, trying to calm her and allay the concern in her eyes. Leaning down, he wrapped his arm behind her on the pillow, while he reached out with his other hand to take hold of one of her hands again. "Maria, close your eyes and rest. The children are all well," he whispered near the shell of her ear as he absentmindedly played with a strand of her hair. _God, this woman was remarkable!_ She was seriously ill, but instead of worrying about herself, was still concerned for the children.

Watching her slowly close her eyes, he began to explain, knowing she wouldn't rest until she was satisfied that they were safe and being looked after. "I called my sister Hede yesterday. She arrived from Vienna and took the children to Tyrol for the week. They're all staying there with Agathe's parents." He felt her squeeze his hand in gratitude. "I spoke to Hede last night to make sure they'd arrived safely. The children all begged me to say hello and to tell you that they miss you already," he watched her break out into a smile. "You've come to mean so much to the children, Fraulein. They all love you," he was running his fingers tenderly through her hair. "Now, you need to get some rest. They're expecting you to shake this thing sooner rather than later. As much as they love Hede and their grandparents, they're missing you desperately!" He tried to sound light hearted. Tried to hide his concern. But he was worried. It was impossible not to be…

He wasn't sure how much time had passed, but he relaxed a little when Maria's breathing became a little heavier as she drifted off into a deeper sleep. Time and rest were the only things that were going to help her fight the fever. And now that she was resting as comfortably as possible, he knew that there wasn't too much else he could do. But he wouldn't be leaving her side.

Watching over her, Georg's mind drifted back to beginning of the summer. Back to when Maria breezed into their lives. He'd often wondered what would have become of them if she hadn't appeared like a miracle, like some gift from God, when she did. He knew that he'd still be pushing his children away. He'd still be filled with anger, self-loathing and grief. He'd probably have proposed to Elsa, content to commit to a marriage that didn't challenge his feelings and required little emotion on his part. Elsa hadn't bonded with the children like he'd hoped, so the children really wouldn't have a new mother. He shuddered at the thought. He shook his head at the path they could all have so easily found themselves heading down, but for the grace of God. They really had been blessed.

But suddenly his thoughts were interrupted by a strangled cry from Maria, as she tightened her grip on his hand.

"Maria!" he called out to her. "Maria! Wake up, it's just a dream! I'm here…"

Maria could hear the Captain calling her name. Calling her back from the edge of her nightmare. She tried to pull herself away from it. Tried to open her eyes as she turned towards the familiar, comforting voice. But the images were so clear. Her eyes were so heavy. The fear gripping her was so real.

"Fraulein, open your eyes," Georg encouraged. "I'm here, it can't hurt you."

Finally forcing her eyes open, Maria felt relief wash over her as she saw the Captain's face inches from hers. She smiled up at him. He'd kept his promise. He'd stayed with her.

"Fraulein, it was just a bad dream," he reassured her.

"The dreams…terrifying…" she whispered as a stray tear rolled down her cheek.

"Do they come often?" he asked gently, wiping the tear away with his thumb. He wondered what could have frightened her so badly.

She nodded at him. "Hold me…" she whispered, her eyes darting away, unable to look at him in case she saw rejection in his eyes. "Please…" she begged, as she quickly looked back at him.

"Will that make you feel safe?" he asked.

Her nod was all the answer he needed. Standing up, he kicked off his shoes. "Roll onto your side, Maria," he told her softly. As she rolled towards him, he smiled at her. Brushing her cheek with the back of his hand, he bent down, "No the other way. Turn away from me."

She looked a little confused, he was sure he saw an adorable blush in her already flushed cheeks. It took a little effort for her to roll over to her other side. Sitting on the edge of the bed, he swung his legs up and was soon lying beside Maria. Placing an arm underneath her head, he wrapped his other arm around her waist and gently pulled her to him.

"Is that better?" he whispered in her ear.

"Thank you…" Nodding against his arm, Maria could feel her heart beating a little louder, a little faster with the Captain's arms wrapped around her. His arms felt so much more comforting than she'd imagined. She knew that she'd be safe from the dreams with him so close. She'd often wondered what it would feel like in his arms. When they'd danced the Laendler, she'd found that the rest of world disappeared when he'd held her. She hoped that now it would be the same. Feeling the Captain pull her closer, she hoped that he could make the dark images in her head disappear. She prayed that he could ease the fear in her heart.

She knew that the nightmares could only mean one thing…

 **Thank you everyone for continuing to read. Special thanks to everyone who left a review for the last chapter. I'm sorry this chapter has been such a long time coming. My Christmas story ended up being more than the one chapter I'd originally planned.**

 **Please check out Radiohead's "Street Spirit (Fade Out)" on YouTube. It's a favourite of mine. The music is so beautiful, it could be a lullaby. But the words are such a dark contrast. All our fears and demons are building up to the point where they overwhelm us and we're looking the devil and death in the eye. Thom Yorke has described this song as the one he finds the most emotionally overwhelming and difficult to sing. He has to disengage, otherwise he'll break down while performing it. The song's final lines are the most beautiful ever written. Defiantly immersing your soul in love in the face of everything. Then the plaintive hope that it's only love that will help us survive all this darkness.**

 **Of course, I don't own TSOM or Pride and Prejudice, just having a lend of both!**

 **"** **Immerse your soul in love"**


	11. Chapter 11

**I won't run away no more, I promise  
Even when I get bored, I promise  
Even when you lock me out, I promise  
I say my prayers every night, I promise  
I know which side I'm spread, I promise  
The tantrums and the chitty chats, I promise  
Even when the ship is wrecked, I promise  
Tie me to the rotten deck, I promise**

 **I won't run away no more, I promise**  
 **Even when I get bored, I promise**  
 **Even when the ship is wrecked, I promise**  
 **Tie me to the rotten deck, I promise**

 **(I won't run away no more, I promise)**

 **"** **I Promise" Radiohead, "OK Computer OKNOTOK 1997 2017" (2017)**

All of Georg's senses were alert and on edge. He'd often dreamed of holding Maria in his arms. _God knows, he'd even imagined the feel of her skin against his._ In the past weeks, the dreams had become more vivid. More shameful.

She'd started sneaking into his dreams from the beginning. Innocently at first. But these past weeks, it had been anything but innocent. He could pinpoint the moment. He knew exactly when everything had changed. When his world had shifted. When his amusing games with the governess became something else.

The night of the puppet show. _Oh God, the night he'd first found himself completely and utterly lost in her…_

Who would have thought that every night since, he'd be plagued by visions of his children's governess? Who would've imagined that innocent images of Maria during the day would become so tainted at night? So many times over the summer, he'd looked on, feigning impatience, as she caught her breath, always running late for one thing or another. Now, he could admit it had started on her first day. When she was late to her first dinner at the villa. As the weeks passed, his initial amusement began turning into something far more serious. Something dangerous. He realised now how much he enjoyed watching her work herself into an adorable rage.

Now he understood his urge to provoke her at every turn. He'd been powerless to stop himself. But, he'd never imagined the delightful vision of her chest rising and falling rapidly, would visit him in his dreams. Dreams where that now familiar image always meant one thing. The same thing. He swallowed hard as he saw a flash of the now familiar image of her breathing becoming shallow, more ragged. Images of her beneath him as they made love. Passionately. Wildly. _God, how many times had he woken from a disturbed sleep shaken and aroused?_ Heaven help him.

But he'd never imagined it like this. Never had he imagined that he'd be holding Maria while she was so ill. He rested his cheek against her hair, breathing in that familiar sweet scent. The scent that had become his favourite. The scent that brought with it the relief of knowing she was near. That if she wasn't in the same room as him, she'd been there not long before him. Her lingering fragrance telling him that she wasn't far away. How was it that the sweet perfume of Maria seemed to drown out everything else? Make his world seem better?

But as he closed his eyes and filled his lungs, he knew that this was nothing like he'd hoped. Nothing like his dreams. Instead, he was living his worst nightmare. As he lay on top of the bed covers, he pulled her a little closer. Held her a little tighter.

Maria lay under the quilt and the woollen blanket that Frau Schmidt had thrown on for extra warmth. She was finally sleeping soundly. It had taken a little time and a few whispered attempts at Edelweiss through choked back tears before she'd finally drifted off. Her breathing was heavy and laboured, but at least she seemed to be resting.

Before she fell asleep, she'd been restless. She'd mentioned something about bad dreams. He wondered what on earth they could be about. What did they mean? She'd seemed so frightened by them. He knew what it was like to have your sleep plagued by your worst fears. By your demons. But surely Maria hadn't done anything in her life that would trouble her. Weigh heavy on her. Unlike him.

How many nights over the years had his sleep been haunted by the faces of men lost in meaningless battles. Or by the pleading looks of their widows and children, faces that would find him on the streets of Salzburg. In recent years, he'd been haunted by his own children's faces. Faces that couldn't hide the hurt as he'd run away and abandon them after the loss of their mother. Time and again. Then he'd be confronted by their fear when he returned. Fear and disappointment as they realised that, before too long, he'd be running from them again.

But worst of all, he'd been haunted by the face of his beautiful Agathe. Unable to save her. Unable to keep his promises. Unable to let her go.

Agathe had helped keep his nightmares at bay. But when he was left alone, without her, it had been impossible. Until now. As Maria began invading his nights, the restlessness, the haunting images of his past demons, seemed to leave him. Replaced instead by her. His beautiful, adorable Maria.

But surely she didn't have any demons. What on earth would be weighing on her conscience? Alongside Agathe, she seemed the most honest and decent person he'd met. She was like one of God's own angels. What could the nightmares possibly be about, he wondered? She certainly hadn't hinted at anything when they met after the children were in bed. As he lay with his arms wrapped around her in the semi darkness, his mind drifted back to the evenings in his study. He couldn't think of anything. But then, she didn't often speak about her past.

Whatever it was, she seemed scared. She was frightened enough to ask him to hold her. It seemed that was the only way she felt brave enough to close her eyes and get some much needed rest. Just before she fell asleep, she'd made him promise that he'd stay. Promise that he'd be here when she woke up.

When he told her that he wouldn't be leaving her side, she'd taken her arm out from under the covers and taken hold of his hand. He smiled. She'd held on so tightly in the beginning, he was sure there'd be marks left by her nails. But he didn't care. She still was holding his hand, although her grip had loosened a little as sleep eventually found her. But he didn't mind.

He'd been watching the shafts of light that found their way through the gaps in the drapes. They'd been moving gradually across the room as the late morning sun reached its peak before making its slow fall towards the western horizon. He guessed that he must have been with Maria for at least two hours. It must be nearly midday. He smiled as he looked at the drapes. Still not a summer old. In the beginning, despite trying to fight her all the way, he was so thankful that Maria challenged him like few others. _God, she was brave._ She never backed down. But he knew now that he'd have to show enough strength and courage for both of them.

 _God, he just wished she wasn't so ill._ He'd lost count of the number of silent prayers he'd said as he lay here. But then, he'd prayed for hours on end before. Still, he just kept begging that she'd get well. That she'd somehow make a miraculous recovery.

Just as they were taking a dark turn, Georg's thoughts were interrupted by Maria stirring in his arms. "Sshh…" he whispered as she mumbled something to herself.

"You're still here?" she whispered, tightening her grip on his hand just in case she was imagining his arms around her.

"Fraulein, I promised I'd stay," Georg reminded her. He hadn't missed the surprise in her voice. Why had she doubted him? Had she become so used to being let down by the people in her life, he wondered.

"Thank you…" she murmured softly, grateful that he hadn't left her alone. "I feel like I've been asleep for days."

"Good!" he tightened his arms around her and pulled her closer to him. "Although I think it may have only been a few hours," he smiled against her hair.

"I didn't realise how tired I was…" she said absentmindedly.

"Are you feeling any better?" he asked gently. She still sounded horribly congested, but it seemed less of an effort to talk.

"My throat's still sore, but at least it doesn't feel like it's on fire," she whispered hoarsely.

"Can I get you some water?" Georg asked as he smoothed her hair.

"Please," she replied, lifting her head so he could move his arm from underneath her.

Reluctantly letting go of her, Georg rolled over to his other side. Sitting up, he reached over to the bedside table and filled the empty glass with water from the jug. Feeling the mattress move, he turned back to see that Maria had rolled onto her back and was pushing herself into up against the pillows. "Careful, not too fast," he murmured as he placed a strong arm behind her shoulders and steadied her as she sat up.

Arranging the pillows behind her, he reached for the glass of water and waited until she had a firm grip before letting go. He watched on as she took a several mouthfuls. "Better?" he asked.

Maria turned and smiled at him and nodded across the top of the glass. Catching his eye, she quickly turned away. Taking another sip, she closed her eyes as the cool water soothed her dry, sore throat.

"Can I get you anything else?" he watched on as she took another sip of water.

"Well…there is something…" Maria turned towards him. "But, I'm sure I can manage…" blushing furiously, she looked away.

"What is it, Fraulein?" he asked, more than a little intrigued.

"I should be alright…" she said trying to convince herself. Looking back up at him, she saw his questioning look. "I…well…, I need to go to the bathroom…" she whispered, turning bright red.

 _Oh God, she was adorable!_

"At least let me help you get there," he smiled. He took the empty glass from her and placed it back on the bedside table. Swinging his legs over the edge of the bed, he stood up. He turned and pulled back the bedclothes.

Making her way to the edge of the bed, Maria swung her legs over the edge. She smiled up at the Captain as he bent down with a concerned look and held onto her shoulders to steady her.

"How are you feeling?" he asked. "Are you ready to stand up?"

Nodding, she pushed herself up. Not that she really needed to. Not with the Captain's hands firmly holding her by the shoulders. She smiled. She hadn't really stood up. He'd lifted her. But she was so grateful for his steadying hands as she closed her eyes and waited for the dizziness to pass.

"Are you alright, Fraulein?" he asked. "Just wait a minute while you get your balance."

Maria eventually opened her eyes and smiled up at him. "I think I'm ready."

Georg placed an arm around her waist. "Now, take things slowly," he said softly.

It was only a short distance to the bathroom, a distance Maria would normally cover with a few quick steps. But with the Captain's arm firmly around her waist, she was forced to take small, steady steps.

Reaching the door of the small bathroom, Georg reached out and pushed it open. He still had a firm hold around her waist.

"Thank you, Captain," Maria smiled at him. "I should be right from here."

"Er, yes…" he tugged nervously at his ear. Clearing his throat, he reluctantly let his hand slip from her waist as she took a few, tentative steps away from him into the bathroom. Holding onto the hand basin to steady herself, she turned and smiled at the Captain as she closed the door behind her.

Georg turned and walked over to the window in the corner of the room. He took hold of one of the drapes and pulled it aside. Smiling down at his hand he could clearly see the red marks left by Maria. He'd gladly suffer much worse just to see her well again. Looking out across the top of the oaks, beyond the lake, he gazed at his beloved Alps rising up to meet the blue sky. There wasn't a cloud to be seen. Another perfect summer's day, he thought bitterly. If only he hadn't been a complete idiot. If only Maria hadn't fallen ill. _God, if only_. His thoughts turned to Trieste, as he wondered what Hede and the children were doing. Strange he should miss them terribly. How much things had changed. They hadn't even been gone a day. How had he ever left them for weeks on…

But his thoughts were suddenly interrupted by a strangled cry from the bathroom. "Maria…" he called out as he dropped the drape and hurried across the room to the bathroom. Turning the door knob, he reminded himself to open it slowly, resisting the urge to just throw it open. With the door only slightly ajar, he could see Maria lying on the floor between the bath and the doorway. Even as the panic gripped him, he thought how strangely peaceful she looked. Like she was curled up sleeping.

"Dear God…" he swallowed his curse as he dropped to his knees on the hard tiles and cupped her cheek in his hand. Thankfully, she was breathing. _God, she must have fainted again_. "Maria, are you alright?" Although he tried to remain calm, he couldn't hide his fear.

Maria stirred slowly under his touch, a frown finding its way to her brow as she heard the Captain calling out to her. She wasn't sure where she was, but it felt hard. It was cold. It wasn't her warm bed. It was uncomfortable, but as she lay on her side it felt nice and cool against her hot cheek...

She could still hear the Captain calling out to her. It must be a dream. He was calling her by her first name. She smiled. He always did in her dreams. But she could feel a hand on her other cheek. It felt comforting. Was that him? Where was she? Her head felt heavy, but she tried to force her eyes open. As her eyes focused, she realised she was on the bathroom floor and the Captain was inches away from her. She let out a strangled gasp. The look in his eyes! It was one she hadn't seen before. Was it fear? Oh no, what just happened? She needed him to be strong. She had no strength left…

"Maria…" seeing her eyes flutter open, Georg's panic was quickly replaced by relief. "Maria, are you alright? Does anything hurt?" he asked as he ran his hand gently down the length of her.

"Oh, my…" Maria managed as she tried to think through the dizziness in her head, the fear in the Captain's voice and the feel of his hand. "No…I think I'm still in one piece."

"You must have fainted," he turned back to her. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have left you alone."

"I felt fine…but then went to stand up…" she said softly, still finding it difficult to talk with her sore throat. "Please, don't blame yourself, Captain. This is all my fault. I'm so sorry…" her husky apology was joined by a stray tear that escaped down her cheek. "I'm such a burden. I'm so sorry. I should be back at the Abbey…"

"Oh, Maria!" Georg pulled her into his arms and held onto her, burying his face in her hair. "I'm to blame for all of this. Please. Forgive me, please…" Feeling his own tears starting to build, he told himself to stay strong. She needed him. But how could he be strong? Seeing her so fragile, so helpless, was heartbreaking. Knowing that he was to blame, overwhelming. Biting back the tears, he tried to ignore his fears. He knew it was impossible to ignore the burden of his guilt. He may have checked his emotions for the moment, but he could still feel them just below the surface. Threatening to choke him. Barely held at bay.

As he lifted his face from her hair, he was suddenly aware that Maria was holding onto his shirt. He was sure his heart skipped a beat knowing that she didn't try to push him away this time. Not like yesterday on the terrace.

Wrapping his arm tighter around her shoulders, he pulled her closer to him as he scooped her up off the floor. She let out a little gasp as he made his way to his feet with her still in his arms. "Hold on, Fraulein," he whispered. "I'm not taking any chances this time," he gave her a lopsided grin.

As he turned and carried her out of the bathroom, Maria's hands instinctively went around his neck. What was it about the Captain that made her feel so safe? He was so gentle. So caring. Apart from her parents, no one, other than the children, had ever shown her any real affection. It had been years. She'd barely been older than Gretl when they'd both passed, leaving her alone in the world.

But as she buried her cheek into the Captain's chest against his heart, she suddenly realised that she couldn't feel the constant, familiar ache that comes from knowing that you're truly alone. She knew she was being ridiculous. Surely he was just being kind. Surely he just felt some sort obligation to his children's governess. But for the moment, she just wanted to pretend that it was more than that.

Maria was expecting the Captain to place her back on the bed, but to her surprise, he sat down in the chair beside the bed with her in his lap, her legs hanging over one the arm of the chair. Realising that she still had her arms around the Captain's neck, she blushed and quickly moved them to her lap. Smiling at her, he ran the back of his hand down her cheek. He seemed to be studying her. Searching for something.

He smiled at her adorable frown. "Just checking that you're not hurt," he whispered as he continued his inspection. Satisfied that she wasn't hurt from the fall, he turned to fill the glass with water from the jug.

"Thank you," Maria whispered as he held the glass out to her. Taking it from him, her breath caught as her fingers brushed his. She thought back to when she woke earlier holding onto his hand. She felt like nothing could hurt her, no harm could come to her, when he was near.

"Slowly…" Georg murmured as he watched her take a few hasty gulps of water. "Finished?" he asked. Nodding at him, he took the half empty glass from her and placed it back on the bedside table.

Reaching across to the bed, he grabbed the woollen blanket that was on top of the quilt and wrapped it around Maria. It was far too big, but he bundled it under her legs to cushion the arm of the chair. By the time he'd finished, her feet and legs were cocooned in the blanket's warmth and her shoulders were covered.

"Are you comfortable?" he asked quietly.

Maria leaned further into him and nodded against his chest. "Yes, thank you," she whispered.

"Fraulein, there's something I need to say," Georg knew there was so much he needed to tell her. So much that was still to be said. But there was one thing that couldn't wait any longer. _God, he needed to unburden himself._

Maria lifted her head from his chest. She couldn't miss the change in his voice. What was it? Was he going to leave her? She could feel the fear starting to rise. Just as she'd started to feel safe. Just as she'd started to feel like she wasn't alone. But she knew how ridiculous she'd been. The Captain was a busy man. Surely he couldn't waste his precious time looking after the governess. What on earth had she been thinking?

As he loosened his arm that was cradling her around her shoulders, Georg looked down. He could see the concern in her eyes. Running his finger down her cheek, he gave her a reassuring smile. "I'm not going anywhere, Fraulein," he reminded her. "I've already promised that I'm staying."

He watched as her lines of worry disappeared, as his words encouraged her to trust him. But he could see that she was still wringing her hands underneath the blanket. He'd discovered over the weeks that's what she did when something was troubling her. Reaching between a gap in the blanket, he placed his hand over hers, stilling them.

Certain that he'd finally reassured her, that he had her attention, Georg took a deep breath. "Fraulein, I want to apologise."

"Apologise?" Maria couldn't imagine what for.

"The night of the party, I'm so sorry for the way I treated you." _God, it was a relief to finally say those words to her_. He'd been desperate to apologise since he'd waited for her to join them for dinner at the party.

"Please, Captain, I understand…" Maria began, looking down, unable to bear to look at him. It was far too humiliating. "I understand. I realise our dance was just that, simply a dance. I know it meant nothing..." She couldn't let him know that it had meant everything to her. For the first time in her life, she'd felt like a princess. And she'd been dancing with the handsome prince. Heaven help her! She'd been reading far too many fairy tales to the young girls. For one silly moment, while he turned her in his arms in the courtyard, she'd allowed herself to believe that they could come true.

Georg lifted his hand and caught her chin between his thumb and forefinger. Gently forcing her to look up at him, he began again. "That's not what I'm apologising for, Maria," he said softly.

"Oh!" she was suddenly caught in one of his gazes. She couldn't breathe. His look was so intense, she could barely think. The only thing she _could_ think about was hearing him say her name. It was nothing like in her dreams. It was better. The way he'd said it, it felt like a gentle caress.

"Maria, when we danced, when I held you in my arms…" he took a deep breath. _Oh God, how could he find the words to describe how he felt?_ "Suddenly you made me see what I'd been trying to ignore for weeks."

She looked at him with an adorable frown. _God, why wasn't he making any sense?_ He cleared his throat, deciding he just needed to tell her.

"Maria, you made me realise that I'd fallen in love with you," he whispered, giving her a lopsided grin.

Maria was sure her heart had stopped beating. All she could think was that the Captain loved her. Smiling, she buried her face in his chest. He loved her! She'd convinced herself that she was the only one who'd felt anything. That the feelings were all her own. _Oh my, he loved her!_

But suddenly, she lifted her head and looked up at him. "But why do you need to apologise?" Here she was again, getting carried away. Hadn't she learned that she was only going to get hurt? Since when had she ever allowed herself to hope?

"Maria, I treated you so badly afterwards," Georg gently brushed her hair back into place. As adorable as she looked with mussed hair, he just needed an excuse to touch her. "I'm so sorry."

She gave him a thin smile and nodded. He was right. She'd felt hurt by his treatment of her afterwards. It hadn't helped that the Baroness had ridiculed her.

"When we stopped dancing, you had me so rattled," he arched a brow at her. "Elsa was watching on. I was supposed to be holding a party for her to introduce her to God knows who, and here I was finally admitting to myself that I couldn't marry her. I should have told her earlier, long before I even agreed to hold that damn party."

His hand was back holding both of hers. He hadn't missed how she'd started wringing them again at the mention of Elsa. "But I didn't," he sighed. "When we danced, I knew. I knew I loved you," he squeezed her hands. "I'd felt it the day you arrived at the villa. But like the fool I was, I ran away to Vienna. It's something I'd become very good at…"

"Stop," Maria whispered. "I've told you, the children have forgiven you."

He squeezed her hands again. "It will take time before I forgive myself," he sighed. "You know, I tried to fight my feelings for you. Tried to remind myself that you were promised to God, that you were my children's governess, that you were a young woman and I'm an old man with seven children," he grinned at her, before becoming serious. "I'm so sorry that I acted like I didn't care after we danced. I was struggling to hold everything together. I tried to pretend like nothing had happened. Like it meant nothing. But the truth was, I felt like I was coming apart at the seams. It seemed like I had half of Salzburg in my home and all I wanted to do was end things with Elsa, so I could tell you that I loved you."

"Really?" Maria whispered.

Georg nodded as he continued, "Waiting for you to appear at the dinner table, it felt like hours." Pulling Maria to him, he wrapped both arms around her. "I'm so sorry," he murmured into her hair. "I wanted to go and find you. I convinced myself that you were with the children. And at the time, I had no idea Elsa had followed you upstairs."

"You know about that?" Maria lifted her head and looked up at him.

"She told me last night," Georg nodded. "I blame myself. I treated both of you so badly. I pray you'll eventually be able to forgive me. It will be a long time before I can forgive myself…"

"Please don't…" Maria interrupted. "I think we were both surprised by our feelings. We didn't expect any of this to happen."

"But that doesn't excuse my behaviour," Georg argued.

"Maybe not. But that's not why I ran," Maria hated seeing the Captain burdened by so much guilt. She hated seeing him carrying all the blame for what had happened.

"But why did you leave?" he asked.

"We're so alike," she smiled at his puzzled look. "For the same reason you took off to Vienna when I arrived. I ran away during the party because I was frightened and confused by my feelings. I knew I could hide from them at the Abbey. I'd be safe." She looked away, but glanced back at him, "When we danced, it felt like we were the only two people in the world…" she blushed and turned away.

Pulling her to him, he cradled her head against his chest. "I love you," he bent down and whispered against the shell of her ear. "I promise I won't run anymore."

He smiled as he felt her yawn against him. There was still so much to talk about. But that could wait for now. "Maria, I've asked Frau Schmidt to arrange for the doctor to visit again this afternoon," he said softly. "I think it's time you went back to bed. You need to rest."

"Please, can we stay here?" she asked, the concern in her voice barely disguised. "Can you just hold me?"

"Of course," Georg soothed. "What's wrong, Fraulein?"

"I'm scared…" she whispered.

"Of me?" Georg looked down at her, puzzled.

"No, never of you..." she replied in a hoarse whisper.

"Maria, you need to rest. I'll keep you safe," he held her tightly and gently rocked her in his arms, whispering calming words. She'd mentioned nightmares earlier. Was that it, he wondered. What in God's name could make her so fearful of falling asleep? "Try to rest. When you've had some rest, I want you to tell me about those dreams of yours."

Maria nodded against his chest as she felt him pulling the blanket tighter around her. She smiled as he rocked her and started singing Edelweiss softly. _The Captain loved her!_ She could hold onto that until it came time to tell him about her dreams. She knew him well enough to know that she'd have to tell him soon enough. He'd keep asking until she told him.

She knew that then, well, it would change things…

 **Thank you everyone for continuing to read and review. Apologies for losing track of the word count yet again...**

 **I had planned to get to the bottom of Maria's dreams in this chapter, but decided it was time for Georg to unburden himself of some of the guilt he's been carrying around.**

 **Please check out "I Promise" on YouTube. Currently my favourite Radiohead song, and obviously the inspiration for this story. Gorgeous in its simplicity. Heartbreaking in its vow to be a better person, the commitment to always being there, to stop the broken promises. Thom Yorke's falsetto is in full flight, truly beautiful. Up there with the legendary Roy Orbison and the inspirational Jeff Buckley.**

 **Recorded over 20 years ago, this song was finally released last year. Radiohead didn't consider it worthy of a place on any of their albums. In the recent words of Thom Yorke: "What were we thinking?"**

 **Please check** **out the video, a mesmerising ride at night on a Warsaw bus glimpsing life through the window - sometimes without comprehension, sometimes with the instinctive urge to connect, despite feeling completely disconnected. In one scene, we see graffiti on a wall that simply states: "I miss you, Jew!" It's part of a current campaign intended to evoke the memory of Poland's Jews - celebrating their contribution to the local landscape, highlighting their suffering throughout WWII and lamenting their absence following the War.**

 **"** **Immerse your souls in love"**


	12. Chapter 12

**All the holes at once are coming alive, set free  
Out of sight and out of mind  
The lonely and their prey**

 **The ones you light your fires to keep away  
Crawling out upon its belly  
And all you have to do is say "Yes"**

 **All the birds stay up in the trees  
All the fish swim down to the deep  
The lonely and their prey**

 **I am here, come to me before it's too late**

 **The one you light your fires to keep away  
Is crawling out upon its belly  
All you have to do is say "Yes"**

 **"** **Tinker Tailor Soldier Sailor Rich Man Poor Man Beggar Man Thief" Radiohead, "A Moon Shaped Pool" (2016)**

Georg stirred as he felt something move against him. It felt warm, comforting. Wrapping his arms tighter around the bundle on his lap, he let himself relax again. But, suddenly, his eyes shot open. _Oh God, he'd dozed off again!_ Realising it was Maria in his arms, he smiled. They were still sitting in the arm chair beside the bed. He glanced down at her. She was still sleeping. She looked so peaceful, so sweet. Watching her sleep, it was difficult to believe she was so unwell. But her breathing was still laboured and betrayed just how ill.

He smiled again. She was breathing so heavily, she was snoring. He wondered if it was the congestion or did she always snore? His mind drifted to how one day he hoped to discover that and so much more...Shaking his head, he tried to stop the stray thoughts. Now wasn't the time to get distracted, for God's sake!

He was thankful that she'd been able to fall into a deep sleep. Despite his best efforts to stay awake, sleep had also found him. His cheek had been resting gently against her head, which was pressed against his chest as she leaned into him.

Wondering what the time was, he tentatively turned his hand that was holding onto her leg, trying his best not to disturb her. Glancing at his wristwatch, he could see that it was almost three o'clock. It had been almost three hours. Before she fell asleep, he'd finally had a chance to speak to her. It had been a relief to finally explain himself. To tell her that he'd behaved appallingly. That all of this was his fault.

But once he'd started, he hadn't been able to stop. Before he'd even realised, he was telling her that he loved her. Somehow, it had just tumble out with his apology. Finally he'd told her, finally he'd admitted how he'd felt for weeks. _God, why had he tried so hard to fight this thing?_

He pressed his cheek against her head affectionately. He smiled as he remembered her response. How she'd yawned and promptly fell asleep. It hadn't been quite what he'd expected. But then, that was Maria! But he didn't care. She'd smiled. She'd held onto him. That was more than enough for now. More than he'd dared hope for, given how ill she was.He was just thankful that she was resting peacefully.

After Maria had dozed off, Frau Schmidt had returned to tell him that the doctor was due to arrive later in the afternoon. She'd also asked if she could bring up any lunch for either of them. But he'd told her that he'd wait until Maria woke. He looked down at her. She seemed to have improved from earlier. But perhaps he was just telling himself that. _God knows, he'd done that before._

His thoughts drifted back to Frau Schmidt. When she'd opened the door and saw him sitting in the chair beside the bed with Maria in his arms, she'd just smiled knowingly. Had Frau Schmidt also noticed something building between them over the past weeks? Perhaps she had. After all, Elsa had told Maria that he loved her. Max had told him that he'd seen how distracted he'd become with Maria. He sighed, here he'd been thinking how well he'd kept his feelings for Maria buried, hidden from everyone. How often over the summer had he congratulated himself for not showing his hand? He'd never imagined that he'd been so obvious. _God, what a fool he'd been!_ A fool in love, he thought with a slight shake of his head.

Cradled in his arms, Maria looked so adorable. He'd always thought so. Even on that first day when he'd found her in the ball room. Yes, he'd been fighting this damn thing from the very beginning. Unable to stop himself, he lifted his hand from her leg and ghosted a finger down her cheek.

He grinned as he watched a small smile spreading across her lips. "You're still here?" It was a raspy whisper.

His heart soared as he recognised the humour in her response. Did this mean that the Maria who teased him, challenged him, pushed him, every step of the way was fighting back against the fever? _God, he hoped so._

"I'm sorry," he murmured. "I should have let you sleep some more." But, truth be told, he hadn't been able to stop himself.

"I felt you moving earlier…" she said with a scratchy voice as she slowly opened her heavy eyes and lifted her head from his chest.

"Frau Schmidt was here earlier and brought some honey. Would you like some for your throat?" Georg had asked the housekeeper to bring some earlier, remembering that it was the only thing that had brought relief to Agathe's sore throat. An old remedy her English grandmother had sworn by.

Maria nodded and watched the Captain lift a saucer from the bedside table. As he brought it closer, she could see a silver teaspoon resting on the saucer beside a generous drop of honey.

Maria took the saucer from him with her free hand, but her other arm was wrapped up so tightly in the blanket. "Oh..." she whispered, as she blushed at the awkwardness of not being able to free her other hand.

"Fraulein, perhaps let me..." Georg said gently. He reached down, taking hold of the spoon and scooped up some of the honey. Twirling the spoon over the saucer to stop any from dripping off the edge of the spoon, he brought the spoon up to Maria's mouth.

As she swallowed the honey, Maria felt it instantly soothe her dry, sore throat. She closed her eyes, savouring the relief. "Thank you," she whispered, smiling. For the first time since yesterday morning, it didn't hurt to talk.

"Do you want some more?" Georg asked as he brought the teaspoon back to rest on the saucer that Maria was still holding.

"Maybe later," she replied. "That feels wonderful..." she said quietly, as she closed her eyes and just enjoyed the feeling of talking and swallowing without the pain. The Captain gently took the saucer from her and she listened to the tinkling of the teaspoon as he placed the saucer back on the bedside table.

"Oh, my!" Maria's eyes suddenly flew open.

"What's wrong, Maria?" Georg turned back quickly, startled by her sudden reaction.

"Frau Schmidt was here?" Had she heard right?

"Yes, why?" Georg asked.

"She saw us?" Maria demanded.

Georg smiled and brushed her cheek affectionately. "Yes, she did. But does that matter?" Georg chuckled. _God, she was so adorable._

"But what will she be thinking?" Maria asked.

"Thinking…?" Georg watched as Maria closed her eyes.

"This won't do…" Maria mumbled to herself.

"Fraulein, tell me why you're worried." He ran his fingers slowly through her hair, gently brushing it back in place. But he lingered. He couldn't stop himself. Holding her gently, he ran his thumb along her cheek bone. He needed to touch her, to feel her. He needed her to know that he was here for her. That he'd meant what he'd told her earlier. _God, he loved this woman._

With her eyes still closed, Maria leaned into the Captain's hand. With him near, with him holding her, caressing her, it was almost too easy to ignore everything else. He could easily soothe her into believing that nothing else mattered. His touch was so tender. His voice so encouraging. Why did he have to be so kind? Why did he have to make her feel so special? Why did he have to tell her he loved her? She prayed that the Baroness was right.

But she knew she'd end up having to tell the Captain everything. Not telling him would be the same as lying to him. That would be unthinkable. She couldn't pretend that things had been different, no matter how much she wanted to wish the bad things away. She knew that once he heard the truth, the spell would be broken. The fairy tale that she'd dared to believe in would be seen for what it really was. Just some silly dream that was never going to come true.

While it was just the two of them here in her room, safely hidden from the rest of the world's prying eyes, perhaps it didn't matter. But she knew that in the end, her past would be back to haunt her, to bring shame to her and those around her.

Ignoring it had been easy when she was a postulant. No one cared who she was or where she came from. But she'd realised the other night while she waited for the bus, her dream of becoming a nun was over. Now that she couldn't return to the Abbey, her past mattered. And now that the Captain had fallen in love with her, or with someone he thought she was, it mattered more than ever.

She'd known all summer that she'd have to deal with the pain of leaving the Captain and the children. But now that pain was filled with the fear and dread of not being able to return to the Abbey.

"Please…" Georg whispered, interrupting her thoughts. "Let me help, Maria. I want to help you, just like you helped me. Please, tell me what's troubling you…"

Maria took a deep breath and slowly opened her eyes. She looked down in her lap. She'd somehow freed her other hand from underneath the blanket and was now wringing them in her lap.

"Don't be frightened, Maria," Georg dropped his hand to squeeze both of hers, as he tried to reassure her. "I'm not going anywhere. I told you earlier, I love you."

 _…_ _he thinks he's in love with you…he'll get over it soon enough…men do, you know…_

"You say that now…" her eyes shot up from her lap to meet his. The words of the Baroness were ringing in her ears. Louder and clearer than when she was first confronted with her shocking behaviour.

"What do you mean?" Georg tried not to show how wounded he felt by the accusation in her tone. Didn't she realise? Now that he'd found her, he couldn't let her go. He knew only too well how lost and alone he felt when he'd read her note the night of the party. He'd felt like his world had been ripped out from under him. He couldn't let her walk away. Not again.

As she dropped her eyes from his, he lifted his hand from hers and caught her chin between his thumb and forefinger, forcing her to look at him. "Maria, I love you," it was impossible to hide the desperation in his voice. He bent down and kissed her forehead. He desperately wanted to catch her lips in his.

He wanted to continue what he'd started the other night when he found her in the courtyard before they'd been interrupted. Before they'd realised where they were. In the beginning, he'd held out his hand to her and willed her to take it in hers, silently begged her to trust him. Before long, the rest of the world had disappeared. She'd been the only thing that existed. He'd been completely and utterly lost in her.

Maria gave him a thin smile. "The Baroness was right…"

"Right? What on earth did Elsa say?" Georg demanded.

"She told me. She explained how these things work…" Maria began. Perhaps she could make him see sense, make him realise that he couldn't possibly love her. At least that would save her the humiliation. The explanation. Was it easier to push him away than tell him, she wondered. Was she really such a coward?

"How what works?" _What in God's name had Elsa told her?_

"That in no time, you'll be over me…" Why did it hurt so much to say that out loud, she wondered? She'd spent the summer dreaming about the Captain and something that could never be. And now she was trying to convince him that he really didn't love her. This was so hard, so painful. Her heart felt like it was breaking into a thousand pieces.

"Oh, Maria," Georg pulled her to his chest and held her tight. "Elsa said things she shouldn't have. It's all my fault. She has no idea how I feel," Georg tried to explain. _God, why had he let things get so damn complicated?_ "Elsa saw us in the courtyard. My feelings for you were so obvious, there was no mistaking. She was trying to salvage something between us that never existed."

"I…I don't understand…" Maria whispered against his chest as he held her to him.

"When I met Elsa, I'd never imagined that I would fall in love again. Really fall in love. I didn't think I could…" he murmured into her hair. "I fell into a comfortable friendship with Elsa and I thought that's all I could ever hope for. I joined in the parties and social scene because it was a distraction, a way of escaping the children. A way to escape the pain."

"Oh, Captain," Maria reached and squeezed one of his hands.

"You were right," he said flatly. "I'd been running away from everything that mattered. You were the only person with enough courage to tell me that…"

"I'm sorry I was so blunt…" Maria smiled against him, it seemed she would forever be apologising for her outburst on the landing the day he returned from Vienna.

"Fraulein, I needed your brutal honesty. Who else was going to stand up for my poor neglected children? Who else could shout louder than me?" he bent and kissed her hair. "I'm sorry it had to be you…"

"Please, don't apologise again," Maria looked up at him. "All I wanted was for you to show the children that you loved them. You've done that and so much more."

"You know, since they left yesterday, I'm missing them terribly!" he ran the back of his hand down her cheek.

"Really?" Maria looked at him, allowing herself a small smile.

He nodded. "I was going to call them later. If you're feeling well enough, you can speak to them. I know they would love nothing more than to hear your voice." His heart soared as he watched her worry and concern lift at the mere mention of the children.

"Fraulein, everyone expected me to propose to Elsa months ago," he sighed. "But something was holding me back. Perhaps I'd hoped my feelings would grow, but they didn't. And then, well, everything changed when I returned from Vienna."

"You say you love me now…" Maria whispered. "But surely that will change, just as it did with the Baroness…"

"Maria, what I feel is different," Georg explained. "I've only ever felt this way once before. I know how I feel. My children already think of you as their mother. I want you..."

"Please, don't say any more," Maria squeezed his hand, as she interrupted him. "You know nothing about me…" She looked back up at him.

"What do you mean?" Georg asked. "I know enough…"

"You don't know anything about my past," Maria whispered.

"I don't understand," Georg was confused. What the hell did she mean? "I know your parents passed away when you were young. I know your uncle raised you. But none of that matters, Maria."

"Believe me, it matters…" Maria told him. "I can't possibly be part of your world. You'll understand when you I tell you about mine…"

"Fraulein, what are you talking about?" Georg tried to laugh off what she was saying. _God, how could she not be part of his world?_ Didn't she realise? She was his world.

"Captain, I've only told you part of the story," Maria explained. "I need to tell you everything."

"Everything?" he could see the concern in her eyes. "I realise you weren't born into high society, Maria. But that isn't important. You know I don't care."

Maria closed her eyes and dropped her head. "You need to know…" she said quietly.

She knew that once the Captain learned about her past, his feelings would change. It would be impossible for him to look at her the same. She knew that her uncle was right. She would never find true happiness. Misery would always find her.

"Know what, Maria?" he asked, his voice as soothing as the reassuring hand he was running up and down her arm.

Maria took a deep breath. This was something she'd told no one. This was something she'd buried deep inside, hoping never to face again. As long as she followed her path to becoming a nun, as long as she was safely behind the Abbey walls, she hadn't had to face this. But realising that she would have to leave the Abbey as soon as the Reverend Mother learnt of her behaviour over the summer, the past had come flooding back. The nightmares had returned after all this time. At Nonnberg she'd finally been able to bury them. She could pretend that none of it had happened. But not any more…

"Maria, you can tell me…" Georg encouraged, as he watched her lines of worry deepening.

"I told you that my parents passed away when I was a little younger than Gretl?" Maria began quietly. She reminded herself that she'd never allowed the Captain to avoid anything just because it might be difficult. She'd forced him to face so many uncomfortable and painful memories over the summer. She sighed. Now it was her turn.

"Yes, but I already know that," Georg reassured her. "And then you went to live with your uncle," he added, realising that Maria was right. Other than that, he knew very few details about Maria's life before the Abbey. How did that happen, he wondered. Strangely, he'd felt that over the summer he'd come to know her so well. "Tell me about your childhood with your parents," he encouraged

"It was like a fairy tale," Maria spoke fondly of her early childhood. "We lived in the Alps on a small farm. I was an only child and my parents loved me so much. I couldn't have been happier…"

"That's why you love the mountains?" Georg whispered as he ran the back of his hand down Maria's cheek.

Maria nodded. "They hold such happy memories," she murmured. "When I'm up there, I can lose myself. It's like I become that young child again."

Georg smiled at her. He reached down and took hold of her hands, noticing that she'd started wringing them in her lap. "Then what happened?" he asked gently, tentatively. He'd sensed before that Maria's childhood had been unhappy with her uncle. Perhaps it had been worse than he'd imagined.

"My father passed not long after my mother," Maria continued. "My uncle was my only living relative," she paused to take another deep breath. "He lived further down the mountains, just on the edge of Salzburg. We'd rarely visited him when my parents were alive. In fact, I don't think I can remember ever visiting him."

"So they left you with a man you didn't know?" Georg struggled to hide his shock. He couldn't imagine how scared Maria must have been. He knew only too well that his two youngest daughters still hadn't grown out of their fear of strange men. "Did he have a wife?" he asked hopefully. Surely that's why they'd left a young girl in his care.

"No. I don't think he ever married," Maria told the Captain. "At least he never mentioned that he'd had a wife." She turned her eyes away from him, down to her lap. His hand still covered hers, forcing her to resist the urge to start wringing away the awful memories.

"Fraulein, you don't have to tell me if you don't you feel up to it," Georg said gently, knowing only too well how gruelling it was to face the past. Facing painful memories was difficult, and he knew how ill Maria was.

Maria looked up and nodded. "I need to tell you. You need to know."

He bent and kissed her forehead, his lips clinging a little longer than his chaste kiss required.

"My uncle wasn't a nice person…" Maria said quietly, quickly looking away from the Captain, unable to hold his gaze as she felt his body tensing underneath her.

"What did he do to you Maria?" Georg could hear the anger rising in his voice.

"Most nights, he would go to the local inn," Maria began slowly. "Those hours before he returned, well, they were the calm before the storm..."

"What?!" Georg was struggling to contain his rage. _God, what did this man do to Maria?_

"He would come home hours later. He'd be drunk, he'd be angry…" Maria tried to continue. "I'm sorry," she looked up at the Captain. "I've never told anyone this before. It's difficult…"

"Take your time, Fraulein," Georg encouraged as he struggled to bite down on his anger. "I'm not going anywhere," he added, squeezing her clasped hands.

She took a deep breath and began again. "He'd come home angry…" she stopped to pause as the memories came flooding back. "I'd try to pretend I was asleep. But it didn't help…"

"What in God's name did he do?" Georg hissed, unable to contain his fury. How dare a grown man hurt a small child? God help him if this monster laid a hand on Maria…

"Thankfully, he didn't touch me…well, not in that way…" Maria quickly looked away, blushing furiously.

"What did he do, Maria?" Georg demanded.

"Most nights, he'd walk in the door yelling and cursing my name," she turned back to him, tears starting to pool in her eyes. "Some nights I was lucky and that's all he'd do." She stopped to hold back the tears. "Other nights, he'd drag me out of bed…" she closed her eyes, trying to shut out the images that were threatening to overwhelm her.

"Oh, my God!" Georg wrapped both arms around her and pulled her to him. "Maria, you don't have to tell me if it's too difficult."

Lifting her head from his chest, Maria swiped the tears from her cheeks with the palm of her hand. The Captain, reached into his trouser pocket and pulled out a starched handkerchief, passing it to her. She wiped her eyes and blew her nose. "You need to know…" she whispered. "I forced you to face so much this summer, now it's my turn…" she shrugged.

"Only if you're up to it," he smiled at her. She was right, she'd made him face everything head on. He'd never imagined that he'd be helping her to do the same.

Nodding that she was ready, Maria continued "It was always different…sometimes he'd just push me around if he was really drunk. Sometimes, he'd shove me against the wall or hit me with his fists or whatever he could get his hands on…" She could see the sadness in the Captain's eyes as his jaw tightened.

"Maria, tell me, where is your uncle now?" The words were said calmly, deliberately, but there was no hiding his white, hot anger

"He's dead. He died years ago. Why?" Maria asked

"If he were still alive, I swear I'd kill that monster with my bare hands," Georg replied through clenched teeth as he fought to control his rage. "How dare he take his hand to you."

"Captain, don't waste your time on him," Maria begged. "He's not worth it."

"Maria, I never imagined your childhood was so difficult. It breaks my heart to think of you, barely Gretl's age, a small child, frightened, beaten…" Georg struggled to say the words out loud. "For how long?" he demanded. _God, how long had people allowed this to go on?_

"Almost a year…" Maria whispered.

"Oh, Maria," he pulled her to him, holding her tight. He needed her to know that she'd never need be alone again. He'd always be there. Protecting her. Watching over her. Loving her.

Pulling back, Maria looked up at him. "It got worse…" she whispered.

"Worse?" Georg questioned. "But, I thought you said he didn't…"

"No, he didn't…" she quickly cut him off. "He was always telling me I was an evil child. That I brought nothing but ruin and despair," she glanced down from the Captain, unable to hide her shame.

"Maria, you were a small child, how could any of that be true?" Georg asked her gently.

"He blamed me for my parent's death…" looking back up at him, she tried to continue. "We lived off what little money he made when he sold my father belongings. They didn't have a lot, but I wish I had something of my parents to cherish…he sold all of it…" she drifted off. "My uncle drank through the money quickly. As the money started running out, it got worse…"

Georg reached up and cupped Maria's cheek. He'd known this woman was brave. Knew she had more courage than most of the men he'd fought alongside. _God knows she was stronger than him._ But he hadn't realised just what she'd been through. It made him love her all the more for it. Now he understood why she'd bonded so quickly with the children, why she'd fought so hard for them. Thankfully, his children hadn't faced anything like her, but they were kindred spirits, of sorts.

"He told me I was a curse. The Devil's child…" she whispered as a stray tear worked its way down her cheek. "One winter night, he told me he was going to do what he should have done in the beginning…"

"Oh my God, what did he do?" Georg asked as he reached out to catch her tear with his thumb.

"We got dressed to go out in the snow…" Maria sniffed. "He took me across town…to the bad part…" Maria was crying now. "He wouldn't let me go home with him…he left me there…" She was sobbing. The Captain now knew that she'd been abandoned by her only family. Was there anything more humiliating? She'd been dumped on the streets. How could he possibly love her now? Her uncle was right, she was forever tainted.

She knew the Captain wouldn't be able to overlook her past. It would be impossible for him to allow his reputation to be tarnished by hers. He had to think of his standing in society. And she wouldn't allow the children to be smeared by her past.

Maria felt the Captain's arm pull her tighter. He was murmuring comforting words to her. But she couldn't hear him above her sobs. Not that it mattered. Whatever he'd said earlier, whatever he said now, none of that mattered. Not now that he knew her past.

And now she couldn't go back to the Abbey. It had been her safe place. The one place where her past didn't matter. What did she know about the real world? Except that she didn't know the first thing about surviving on her own, except what she'd seen on the streets. Her uncle had been right. What man would want her?

But there was only one man who mattered to her. And her heart broke at the thought of saying goodbye to the one person who made her feel safe, wanted. The man who now held her in his arms while she clung to him and sobbed into his chest.

 **Thank you so much everyone for continuing to read my story.**

 **Apologies for the delay in updating – I've been lost down several rabbit holes at work these past weeks! Actually, I think I'm supposed to still be down a couple of them…**

 **I love the imagery of this Radiohead song. Since the beginning of time, we've used fire to keep safe and to ward off the unwanted. It's instinctive, it's primal. But shutting out everyone and everything can be to our detriment. Georg's realised, hopefully Maria can…**

 **I still don't own TSOM, still just having a lend.**

 **"** **Immerse your soul in love"**


	13. Chapter 13

**You are the sun and moon and stars, are you,  
and I could never run away from you  
You try at working out chaotic things  
and why should I believe myself not you?  
It's like the world is going to end so soon,  
and why should I believe myself?**

 **You, me and everything caught in the fire  
I can see me drowning, caught in the fire  
You, me and everything caught in the fire  
and I can see me drowning, caught in the fire**

 **"** **You" Radiohead "Pablo Honey" (1993)**

The warmth of the late afternoon sun was probably just what Georg needed. Earlier, the heat of the day would have been uncomfortable. But now, as the shadows lengthened, it brought him some relief. It would still be a few more hours before the cool evening breeze whipped across the lake, bringing the chill of the night air with it.

But most of that was lost on Georg as he leaned on the balustrade. He'd found his way onto the rear terrace before he'd even realised where his feet had taken him. With the summer drawing to an end, the sun was sitting lower in the sky, bathing much of the terrace in its warmth.

His eyes were closed. Not just against the bright sunlight. He was lost in his own thoughts. He was trying to focus. He'd needed to get some air. To try to clear his mind. Sitting in Maria's room, it had been impossible to sift through the jumble of thoughts.

As he'd held Maria to him while she sobbed herself to sleep, he'd been trying to piece together her shocking story. He'd known her childhood after her parents had passed away hadn't been a happy one. He hadn't realised just how bad it had been. But then to learn that her abusive uncle had abandoned her to the streets. It was something he couldn't even imagine.

He wasn't even sure what had happened to Maria. How long had she been homeless? How had she survived? How did she end up at college and then the Abbey? Whatever the truth was, he knew it mattered little. One thing was certain, he was seething. It wasn't just what happened to her as a child that angered him. It was that she seemed to believe that her past had tainted her. She seemed to think that it was a reason for him to forget about her. To let her go. That somehow she wasn't worthy.

Even now, out on the terrace, he was still struggling to control his anger. How could anyone have left a small child, a young girl at that, with such an unsuitable guardian? An older, unmarried man that she didn't even know. It was unthinkable. Surely they would have known at the time that he was a violent drunk?

Suddenly realising what he was doing, he forced himself to stop madly drumming his fingers against the stone balustrade. Maria was right. He shouldn't be wasting his energy on the man. Even though a few hours had passed, he was still raging. It was eating away at him. It made him want to protect her even more.

He'd held her in his arms until she'd fallen asleep against him, exhausted from the tears and the memories that had been churned up. He had some idea how she felt. How a memory could catch you off guard. Before you knew what was happening, the tight grip on your emotions was loosened. It was impossible to predict or control what would follow. Sometimes, it would pass, leaving you unscathed. Sometimes, it was overwhelming. Sometimes, it was gruelling. He'd hated seeing Maria so upset.

Satisfied that she'd finally fallen into a deep sleep, he'd gathered Maria in his arms and laid her back on the bed. As he'd pulled the covers around her, she'd mumbled in protest and reached out for him. He'd quickly sat on the bed beside her and wrapped his arm around her shoulders, pulling her against him.

While she slept, there were times when Maria had still been restless, no doubt fighting the images and memories that had resurfaced and were now forcing their way into her sleep. Needing his own distraction from the anger and shock of her story, he'd held her and recalled stories from the children's past. Stories of when they were young. Stories that he hadn't shared with anyone.

He knew she'd probably drifted off into a deep sleep and wasn't listening. But he'd kept recalling one story after another, having found earlier that his voice seemed to bring her some comfort. And, selfishly, he'd found it a relief to be able to say his memories out load to an audience that didn't notice if his voice caught, if the tears gathered in his eyes or if the emotions were choking him. They were memories that he was still trying to face without the despair and anger. Without the guilt and regret. It was healing to say them out loud, to get them out of his head, even if Maria was asleep.

They were beautiful memories that he'd always imagined only ever sharing with Agathe. But, strangely, he didn't feel any guilt or disloyalty sharing them with Maria. He knew he would retell her the stories later, one day, when she was feeling better. He wanted her to know everything about the children.

All the time while Maria slept, he'd calmed her with his stories. He'd soothed her with his gentle touches. He'd tried to keep the bad dreams at bay. Almost two hours had passed when Frau Schmidt had knocked on the bedroom door to announce the arrival of the doctor. It was only then that he'd let go of Maria and laid her gently back against the pillows while she stirred from her deep sleep.

He'd been out on the terrace ever since. While waiting for an update from the doctor, his thoughts had alternated between trying to come to terms with Maria's childhood and trying to understand her feelings for him. He'd never really understood women. Their moods, emotions, reactions often left him utterly confused. Men were much simpler. It had taken time to understand Agathe. Before her, he had to admit, he really hadn't bothered to unravel their mystery.

At least now, he could understand why Maria had been so fearful. He had some idea why she'd been so terrified. He knew only too well what it was to relive the horrors of your past in your dreams. He wondered if she often faced those fears during the night. He hoped that they'd only just resurfaced.

Opening his eyes, Georg stood up and stretched out the tight muscles in his shoulders. He looked across the lake into the distance. A swan was taking flight on the opposite shore, the sun catching its white feathers, making it stand out against the blue lake and the trees in the distance. But Georg didn't notice.

Running his hand through his hair, he closed his eyes, cringing as he recalled his declarations to Maria. He hadn't even stopped to think. He'd thought he knew how she felt. God, he'd based all his assumptions on a damn passage in some bloody book. What the hell had he been thinking? Now that he knew Maria's past, he felt even worse. He'd just jumped to conclusions. He'd probably frightened her. Is that why she fled the night of the party? Perhaps she wasn't just frightened by her own feelings? He was certain as they'd danced the night of the party that she'd felt something for him. But what had Max always been telling him? That he often underestimated how imposing he could be.

She'd seemed uncomfortable when she'd returned to the villa. When he'd held her on the terrace after she'd fainted, hadn't she tried to push him away? It made sense now. She'd still been trying to work out where she was, what had happened, who had hold of her. Maybe in the confusion, she'd been imagining her uncle? Maybe she was just shocked to find that it was him.

He reminded himself that Maria had seemed happy to hear that Elsa had returned to Vienna. Was she only happy for the children? But she'd asked him to hold her so she could sleep. Maybe she did feel something? But perhaps he'd been wrong to read too much into it. Perhaps she'd been so frightened by her dreams, the memories of her childhood, that she just wanted to feel protected. Maybe that was all. And here he'd been thinking that she'd somehow fallen for him. Just like he'd fallen hopelessly for her.

For heaven's sake, she was ill. She'd had a fever. Why would she be thinking about her feelings for him? Max was right. He was...

"Ah, there you are, Georg!"

Georg's thoughts were interrupted by a familiar voice in the distance. Spinning around, he watched Dr Schultz coming through the back door towards him. As much as he was dreading the news, he was grateful for the interruption. It would be a relief to stop the thoughts that were churning around in his head. _God he was so damned confused._ And he'd always though Maria was so transparent. What an idiot!

"Just getting some fresh air," he forced a smile as he called out and watched the elderly doctor make his way across the terrace towards him. "Beautiful day out here," he added automatically, although most of it had been lost on him.

"Yes, my favourite time of the year," Dr Schultz agreed. "The last lingering weeks of summer."

"How is Fraulein Maria?" Georg asked quietly, holding his breath, desperate to know. She seemed to be improving, but it was impossible to tell. He'd thought the same about Agathe.

"She seems better. I'm actually pleased with how she's progressing," Dr Schultz smiled. "Georg, was there any reason you sent for me? Did you think her condition had worsened?"

"I wanted to make sure." Georg shrugged his shoulders. "Call me cautious..."

"Yes, yes, of course," the doctor nodded as he placed a hand on Georg's arm. "You don't need to explain."

Georg gave his friend a thin smile. "Fraulein Maria has grown so close to the children over the summer. I'd hate for anything to happen," he turned back to look out over the lake. "She was the first governess they couldn't scare off..." he added absentmindedly, almost to himself.

"Frau Schmidt told me that Hede has taken the children to visit Agathe's parents. Good idea!" Doctor Schultz continued. "The fever seems to have eased, although her temperature still seems a little high. The infection hasn't moved down to her lungs, so fingers crossed it's just a nasty cold and doesn't develop into anything worse."

Georg could feel his heart skip at the doctor's words. "Is there anything else we need to do?"

"We still need to keep an eye on her. It's important she keeps up her strength so she can fight off the infection. I've told Frau Schmidt that it's time for her to eat something," the doctor said. "It would also do her good to spend some time out in the warm air and sunshine. It does wonders for the body, you know. Of course, be careful to avoid the evening air. Right now, this is perfect," he nodded his head at the glorious late afternoon.

"Thank you, Werner, for coming out to check on things," Georg reached out to shake his friend's hand.

"No need to thank me," the doctor held onto Georg's hand and gave his upper arm a reassuring squeeze. "Call me if you have any concerns. We need to make sure she's fit and healthy for when the children return," he gave Georg a smile. "I'll see myself out. I need to see another patient on the way back to Salzburg," he added before turning and making his way towards the back door.

"Thank you," Georg called after him, appreciative that the doctor didn't seem to mind making a house call to ease his fears.

Turning back towards the lake, Georg smiled. His first real smile in the past days. _Thank God, Maria hadn't got any worse_. Werner was right. He needed to make sure Maria recovered and regained her strength for the children's return next week.

ooooXXXXoooo

Having just left the kitchen with instructions for Frau Petering, Georg walked across the foyer, up the stairs to the front door landing and turned towards Maria's room. Some of the uneasiness and fear had left him. Even some of his anger had eased. He was still utterly confused. But that would have to wait. For the moment, he was just hopeful that Maria had been through the worst of it, and would continue to improve over the coming days.

The fear that had gripped him had almost been unbearable. How could he have faced breaking the worst possible news to the children? It had been awful enough telling them the other morning that Maria had left and returned to the Abbey.

Knocking on Maria's bedroom door, he waited for Frau Schmidt to call out to him before opening it and letting himself in. The drapes to one of the windows had been tied back, bringing some much needed light into the room. Hopefully, a sign that Maria was starting to feel better, it wasn't just Werner reading the medical signs. His eyes immediately sought her out. She was sitting up in bed, wearing her dressing gown, propped up with the pillows behind her.

"Captain, you'll be pleased to hear that Fraulein Maria is starting to feel better," Frau Schmidt declared as she turned to the Captain. She smiled, noticing that his eyes hadn't left Maria. She'd grown to know him so well over the years.

"Yes, Frau Schmidt, I spoke to Werner on his way out and he said he was pleased with the improvement," Georg's eyes were still on Maria despite her blushing and looking down at her hands as they played with the seam of the cotton sheet. "How are you feeling, Fraulein," he asked gently.

"Better, thank you, Captain," she looked up at him nervously.

"Excellent!" Georg couldn't hide his happiness. "Frau Schmidt, I've left instructions with Frau Petering. Can you see that everything's in order?"

"Of course, Captain," Frau Schmidt returned his smile as she turned to leave, wondering what he had planned. It had been obvious how much everyone in the family had come to care for Fraulein Maria. But it was clear that the Captain's feelings for the young woman ran much deeper. As she made her way past him towards the door, she knew that none of that mattered. She was just happy to have the old Captain back. If it had taken a young postulant to make him smile, to make the villa feel like a home again, then so be it.

Georg waited until he heard the door close behind him. He still hadn't shifted his gaze from Maria. "Fraulein, how are you really feeling?" he asked tentatively, still standing at the foot of the bed.

"My throat's still a little sore, my head's still blocked up, but I can think a little clearer," Maria blushed remembering how much she'd revealed to the Captain. She looked away as she recalled burying her head into his chest, while she sobbed uncontrollably. She'd hoped to never tell anyone about her past.

"Good. Dr Schultz seemed happy," Georg could feel how the room felt different since he'd left. How things suddenly seemed awkward and strained between them.

Maria nodded, coughing a little, before dropping her eyes again.

"In fact, he mentioned that it would help if you sat outside in the fresh air and sunshine," Georg suggested. "It's perfect outside now, would you like that?"

Maria's eyes shot up to look at the Captain. "Oh, I would love that," she smiled at him forgetting her embarrassment, forgetting everything. "When I woke, I knew I must be getting better, I'm feeling so cooped up in here!"

Georg smiled at her. That was his first glimpse of the old Maria. The Maria he knew before she fled from the villa. Before the night of that damn party.

"Come on, then!" Deciding to ignore any awkwardness, he walked over to the bed and pulled back the covers.

"Captain, what are you doing?" Maria exclaimed, pulling the lapels of her robe together.

"Fraulein, please excuse me, but you've fainted on me twice already," he reminded her. "I'm not taking any chances," he told her as he bent down and scooped her up in his arms.

"Where are you taking me?" Maria demanded as she wrapped her arms around his neck.

"We're going out to get some fresh air and sunshine," he smiled down at her.

"Oh, I see…" Maria blushed.

"You were complaining about being cooped up, weren't you?" Georg was already halfway to the door. Reaching the door, he gently lowered the arm that was under her knees and turned the door knob with his free hand.

"This isn't necessary, Captain," Maria protested. "I'm sure I can walk on my own."

"Maria, I don't want you trying to do too much too soon," he said firmly. "You're still not well. I promised the doctor that we'd take things slowly."

"But, Captain, you don't…" Maria argued.

"Fraulein!" Georg cut her off, pulling up after taking only a few steps along the upper landing. "Will you stop arguing with me?" he said firmly. "Please," he added softly with a smile.

"Well, I guess I have no choice…" Maria conceded.

"No, you don't!" Georg gave her a half grin, and continued towards the stairs that led down to the front door landing.

Maria had assumed that he was taking her out to the terrace. But to her surprise, he didn't turn to take the stairs down to the foyer. Instead, he walked up the stairs on the opposite side of the landing towards the children's rooms. She wondered where he was taking her. Perhaps he was taking her to their study room. But she couldn't imagine why. When he walked past the doorway and kept making his way along the landing. She turned to him in surprise.

Georg looked down when he saw Maria's head quickly turn to question him. He gave her a nod of reassurance.

Her heart was pounding now. She knew what lay past the children's rooms. Despite her burning curiosity, all summer she'd stayed away from the master wing of the villa. The Captain's reaction when he'd found her in the ballroom on her first day had been enough of a deterrent. She'd always wondered what rooms lay beyond the children's study room.

"Where are you taking me?" Maria asked quietly.

"Outside." Georg answered as if it were obvious.

"Outside…?" she questioned, as if he'd gone mad.

"You'll see," he smiled down at her.

Turning the corner at the end of the landing, he walked a short distance past several more rooms hidden behind closed doors until he came to another hallway. Maria realised that they were at the opposite end of the villa's front door. They were above the back door that led to the terrace. He walked down a short hallway to the doorway at the end.

The French doors were already open. Maria could feel the fresh air and hear the sounds of the late afternoon even before he'd carried her out onto the balcony. She turned away from him, towards the lake and the towering mountains, her breath catching. "It's so beautiful. I feel like I'm up in the tree tops," she turned and whispered to him. "Thank you."

Seeing her reaction, he couldn't hide his wide smile. He carried her to the balustrade and turned so that she could take in the view. Casting his eyes down, he was excited to see how happy she was.

"It's such a wonderful view from here, isn't it?" she asked, although it was more of a statement.

"One of my favourites," he sighed, thinking back to the many nights over the summer he'd found himself drawn to the balcony, unable to sleep. Some nights, if it was still early enough, he'd look out and see Maria holding onto the iron gates at the landing below, gazing out across the lake. He'd stand there, wondering what she was thinking.

Was she questioning her vocation? _He had from the moment he met her._ Was she regretting having to leave them when the summer came to an end? _He was dreading it as much as the children._ Was she thinking about him? _He couldn't think of anything but her._ He'd stand there on the balcony, watching, holding his breath. Captivated. Finally, realising that if she turned around, she'd see him, he'd step back into the shadows. Watching. Hoping.

"Do you feel well enough to stand, Fraulein," he asked quietly.

"Oh, I'm so sorry, Captain!" she exclaimed. "Your arms are probably aching. Of course, I can stand!"

"No, my arms aren't aching," he laughed off her suggestion. If only she knew that for most of the summer, they'd ached because she wasn't in them. Dipping his body, he lowered the arm beneath her knees until her feet were on the stone floor of the balcony. "Hold onto the balustrade," he directed her as he let go, watching her carefully.

With her feet on the floor, Maria reached out and held onto the balustrade to steady herself. As she felt the Captain let go of her, she felt herself sway a little unsteadily. She immediately felt him standing beside her, his arm around her back. Holding her. Making sure she was safe.

"Careful, Maria," Georg whispered gently. He made sure she steadied herself before he dropped his hand from her back to the balustrade on the other side of her, keeping a protective arm around her. His heart leapt as he felt her lean against him.

Maria looked up at the Captain. "Thank you."

He turned to her and smiled. "Tell me, Fraulein, which part of the Alps did you and your parents live?" he needed something to distract him from the warmth of her body against him.

"Half way up the Untersberg," she turned back and was pointing. "We lived around there, to the left, just across from where that oak branch is sticking out on its own."

"Ah, that high up?" Georg asked.

"Yes…" she seemed to have drifted away from him, remembering happy times.

"It must have been wonderful growing up there," Georg eventually broke into her thoughts.

"It was," she said simply, turning to him. "It's a shame it had to end..."

"Fraulein, try not think about that. Let's just enjoy the evening," Georg moved his hand from the balustrade to give her arm a reassuring squeeze. "You know, the children love it when you take them up there for picnics, they talk about it for days afterwards."

"I'm so glad!" she smiled, as her thoughts turned to the children. Although she'd slept most of the past two days, she realised that her heart was aching for them. "I miss them…" she whispered.

"I know," Georg squeezed her arm again. "So do I."

They stood for a time in a comfortable silence. Wondering what the children would be doing. Wishing they weren't so far away. Hoping they weren't missing either of them as much.

It suddenly struck Georg how they both must look standing on the balcony looking out over the lake. He was in his crumpled shirt, sleeves rolled up, no tie and probably in desperate need of a shave. Maria was standing beside him in her dressing gown. He smiled. They must look a fine pair!

"Fraulein, I know we're standing here in the sun, but are you warm enough? You're not feeling cold?" he asked, the concern in his voice.

"It's so nice out in the air," Maria closed her eyes, relishing the feel of the sun on her face. "But my feet are a little cold."

Surprised, Georg looked down and realised that she was in bare feet. He hadn't noticed until now. "Come with me," he turned away from the lake and placed a steadying arm around her waist.

"Oh!" Maria let out a gasp as she turned to see a small table with two chairs set away from the edge of the balcony. The Captain guided her, not letting go until she was safely seated in one of the chairs.

"Don't move! I'll be back in a minute," he smiled, disappearing through the doors.

Maria wondered what he was doing, but turned back to look at the gorgeous scenery before her. It was so peaceful on the balcony. She really was going to miss the villa. But now wasn't the time to think about that. Although, she knew she had to finish telling the Captain about her past. She'd only told him part of the story. Leaning back into the chair, she closed her eyes against the sunlight and listened to the birds, the rustle of the light breeze in the treetops that were so close she could almost imagine reaching out and touching them…

"Here you are, Fraulein," Georg smiled as he saw Maria jump and open her eyes. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to frighten you," he laughed. "I've got a few things to keep you warm."

"Thank you," Maria said as he knelt down before her and helped her into in her slippers.

Standing up, Georg unfolded the blanket that was under his arm and wrapped it around Maria's legs. "Is that better?" he asked when he was finally happy that she was wrapped up and starting to warm up.

Nodding, Maria watched him take a seat in the chair beside her. For a few minutes, they sat in a silence, the awkwardness from earlier having all but disappeared. But Maria knew she had more to tell the Captain. She had to finish her story. Just as she'd gathered up the courage and was opening her mouth to tell him more, she heard the clanging of dishes in the distance. Turning toward the balcony door, she saw Franz walking onto the balcony holding a tray. He gave her a withering look, making her quickly turn away.

"Captain," he nodded as he placed the tray on the table.

"Thank you, Franz," Georg nodded at the butler. "Just leave it there."

He waited for Franz to leave, before turning to Maria. "I'm sure you're hungry. Cook has made some soup," he announced as he lifted a cloche off a steaming bowl of soup and another one off a plate of fresh bread.

"That smells delicious!" Maria smiled at the Captain. "I hadn't realised how hungry I am."

Georg stood up and passed the bowl to Maria, then handed her a spoon. He watched on for a moment as she took a spoonful, which was quickly followed by another. "Some bread?" he asked as he passed the plate to her and she took a slice. He smiled as she dunked it in the thick vegetable soup and took a few bites.

"Are you going to have some, Captain," Maria asked between mouthfuls.

"Ah, yes, of course…" he stammered, realising that he'd been completely lost watching Maria.

Sitting down, he lifted the cloche off the second bowl. Picking up the bowl and a spoon, he was soon halfway through the soup and finishing his first piece of bread.

He offered Maria another slice but she shook her head. Leaning forward, she placed her near empty bowl back on the table.

"Captain, I need to tell you something," Maria looked across to him with a troubled look. "There's more you need to know about what I told you earlier."

Placing his bowl on the table, Georg reached across and took Maria's hand in his. "Fraulein, believe me, there is nothing you can tell me that will change how I feel."

"But, you need…" Maria started.

"Sshh, let's not spoil a beautiful evening with difficult memories," he held onto her eyes as he squeezed her hand. As much as he wanted to understand her feelings for him, he didn't want to churn up the painful past. There'd already been enough tears today.

"I really think you should know, Captain," she continued. "Please…"

"It's true, Maria, I want to learn everything there is to know about you. But, not tonight. It's not going to change anything, I promise. Let's just enjoy…"

"Excuse me, Captain," Georg was interrupted by Frau Schmidt bustling out onto the balcony. "I'm sorry, but there's a telephone call."

"I'll be back, Fraulein," Georg apologised as he went to stand.

"Oh, it's not for you, Captain," Frau Schmidt told him. "It's for Fraulein Maria."

 **Thank you so much for continuing to read and review, I hope you enjoyed this chapter. Apologies for the delay in updating. Work has been beyond crazy busy.**

 **Please check out Radiohead's "You" – there's a great live recording on YouTube. It's a song about love, doubt, uncertainty and outside influences. It's one of their few love songs, and in their typical style, is overlaid with warnings about the hazards of emotions and the human condition. Ah, nothing's straightforward…**

 **I don't own TSOM, still just having a lend!**

 **"** **Immerse your soul in love"**


	14. Chapter 14

**Tell me all the things you would change  
I don't pretend to know what you want  
When you come around and spin my top  
Time and again, time and again  
No fire where I lit my spark  
I am not afraid of the dark  
Where your words devour my heart  
And put me to shame, put me to shame**

 **When your seven worlds collide**  
 **Whenever I am by your side**  
 **And dust from a distant sun**  
 **Will shower over everyone**

 **You're still so young to travel so far**  
 **Old enough to know who you are**  
 **Wise enough to carry the scars**  
 **Without any blame, there's no one to blame**  
 **It's easy to forget what you learned**  
 **Waiting for the thrill to return**  
 **Feeling your desire burn**  
 **You're drawn to the flame…**

 **I don't pretend to know what you want**  
 **But I offer love…**

 **"** **Distant Sun" Crowded House "Together Alone" (1993)  
**

"A telephone call? For me?" It was impossible for Maria to hide her surprise. There had never been a telephone call for her. Never once in her life. The idea was ridiculous. Why, she couldn't even remember the last time someone had sent her a letter. "Surely you're mistaken, Frau Schmidt," she looked from the housekeeper to the Captain. He was looking just as surprised as she was.

"The Reverend Mother, perhaps?" Georg asked, lifting a questioning brow.

"Captain, I don't think Nonnberg is quite that modern!" Maria smiled. It wasn't until the first time she'd found herself in the Captain's study, the evening he returned from Vienna, that she'd actually seen a telephone herself. "I'm certain it's not the Reverend Mother."

"Well, there's only one way to find out," Georg stood up and held out his hand to help Maria up.

Maria took hold of the Captain's hand, stood up and wavered a little unsteadily. She shot him a grateful smile as she immediately felt him place a supporting hand on her waist, Georg quickly hid the look of concern that flashed across his face with a reassuring nod. "Fraulein Maria will take the call in the upstairs study, thank you," he nodded to the housekeeper.

"Certainly, Captain," Frau Schmidt replied. "Would you like me to clear these plates?" she asked, relieved to see that Fraulein Maria had finished the bowl of soup, and amused to see only the crusts from one of the slices of fresh bread on her plate. She seemed to have her appetite back, which was a good sign.

"Yes, thank you, Frau Schmidt," Georg smiled at her. "Be sure to thank Frau Petering for the delicious soup." He reached down to pick up the blanket that had been wrapped around Maria's legs.

Maria felt the Captain move his arm around her back as he gently guided her through the balcony door and back along the short hallway. The sound of cutlery and crockery gradually disappeared into the distance behind them as he let her set a slow, tentative pace. She had never imagined that the Captain could be so patient and attentive. Surely he had other much more important things that needed his attention. She decided to remind him of that later, but for the moment, it felt nice to be the focus of his care and kindness.

"I didn't know there was a study upstairs," Maria turned to the Captain. Whenever he used to disappear for hours on end, she'd always imagined him sitting behind the study door downstairs. When Baroness Schraeder complained a little too loudly to Herr Detweiler that the Captain was working again, she just assumed he was in the downstairs study. After all, that's always where they used to meet to discuss the children. Unless, of course, their paths crossed on the terrace or out in the grounds while enjoying the warmth of the evening after the children were in bed. She'd never imagined him working away upstairs.

"I had one of the rooms converted to a study before Liesl arrived," he shrugged, holding her a little tighter as he turned her down the upper landing towards the children's rooms. They stopped at a door a short distance along.

Maria was intrigued as the Captain opened the door and guided her into the room. The room was only separated from the school room by the library where the children kept their books and toys. The study was similar to the one downstairs, but something about it was different. She wasn't quite sure what. It seemed a little more feminine, a little more personal.

Pushing the door shut behind them, Georg helped Maria across the room to the desk, holding onto her until she was sitting in the high backed leather chair behind the desk. He lay the blanket across her lap and smoothed it out.

As she went to clear her throat, Maria was suddenly gripped by a coughing fit. Georg knelt down and placed a concerned hand on her knee as she covered her mouth with the sleeve of her dressing gown, trying to stifle the coughs.

"Are you alright, Fraulein?" he asked quietly as the coughing fit passed. She nodded, and he squeezed her leg.

Picking the receiver up from the cradle of the telephone, he covered the mouth piece with his hand, and waited until he heard the tell-tale click of Frau Schmidt hanging up the telephone downstairs.

He passed the receiver to a nervous looking Maria and nodded encouragingly. "Ready?" he asked so softly, it was almost a whisper.

"Please stay, Captain," Maria whispered back to him, instinctively reaching out for the arm that held out the receiver towards her. She was so nervous, she didn't even realise that she was holding the Captain's bare forearm, just below his rolled up shirt sleeve. She really had no idea who to expect on the other end of the line.

"I'll be right here, Fraulein," he assured her, nodding that she would be alright and trying to ignore the feel of her fingers against his skin.

Biting her lip nervously, she let go of his arm and took the heavy, black receiver from him. Holding it against her face, the way she'd sometimes seen the Captain or Herr Detweiler do in the study downstairs, she took a deep breath.

"Hello…?" she asked tentatively.

"Is that Fraulein Maria?" a woman with a refined accent asked impatiently.

"Yes, it is…" Maria answered hesitantly, looking up at the Captain, who nodded his encouragement. "I'm sorry…who is this?"

"It's the children's Grandmother," the voice responded down the line as if Maria should somehow already know.

"Oh…" Maria couldn't hide her surprise and unease as she started playing with the leather edge of the blotter pad that covered the desk in front of her. Maria looked down as she felt the Captain take her hand and squeeze it. She looked up with a frown. "It's your mother in law," she mouthed to him.

Georg squeezed her hand again and tightened his jaw. He had planned to call Agathe's mother later. These days, he always felt like he needed to prepare himself for their telephone calls. He wondered why she would want to speak to Maria. Surely if there was something wrong with the children, she would have called him.

"How are you feeling Fraulein? You've obviously been very ill, I can still hear it in your voice. Are you getting better?"

"I am feeling better, thank you, that is so kind of you to ask," under the initial abruptness, Maria could feel genuine concern and kindness.

"Good! I'm glad to…"

"Please, tell me, how are the children?" Maria didn't mean to cut her off, but she was desperate for any news on the children. She'd noticed the Captain's features tighten when she told him who was calling. He must me worried about the children as well, she thought. Although she noticed he'd started turning his attention to a large pile of letters she'd only just noticed beside a photograph on the corner of the desk. She smiled to herself, the Captain could do five things at once and still notice everything that was going on around him. "Are the children behaving?" she asked.

"Well, that's what I wanted to talk to you about," Agathe's mother replied, the abruptness returning to her voice after being interrupted.

"Oh, I'm sorry…we just miss the children so much, Frau…Frau…" Maria blushed, unsure how to address the woman on the end of the line.

"Oh, my dear, there's no need for formality, please call me Agathe."

"A-gathe," Maria looked at the Captain feeling more than a little awkward. She'd never realised the children's mother and grandmother shared the same name. Sensing her unease, the Captain nodded for her to continue. "Agathe, are the children well? I hope they're behaving for you…"

"Well, that's why I wanted to speak to you," Agathe's mother continued. "What on earth have you done to the children?"

"The children?" Maria could feel the blood draining from her face, certain that she was about to be reprimanded. "I…I don't understand. I don't think I've done anything…"

"My dear, don't be so modest," she cut Maria off. "They have blossomed over summer. Hede and I can't believe they're the same children. They're laughing and singing. Marta's come out of her shell, Gretl no longer cries at the drop of a hat. Louisa has lost that surliness which she'd been hiding behind. She inherited from her father, you know. And Friedrich is quite the young man. I could go on, but I think you know that you've worked wonders with the children."

"Really, I haven't done anything," although Maria tried to deflect the compliments, she was pleased to hear that the children were doing well. Especially with their visit being unplanned and so rushed, all because of her. "They were always wonderful children," she added.

Georg still had hold of Maria's hand and squeezed it a little tighter. With his other hand, he flicked through the pile of letters. It seemed they were mainly letters from guests thanking him for the party. It was so like her to say that she had done nothing special to help him and the children. Still working his way through the pile of letters, he ran his thumb across the back of her hand. He hoped she realised that she'd done everything. It had been nothing short of a miracle. It had all been her.

"Fraulein Maria, I think we both know that you're being far too humble, but I'm not going to argue with you," she continued, ignoring Maria's protests. "There is something more important that I need you to do for me."

"Of course I'll try, but I'm not sure what I can do," Maria said quietly.

"I need you to promise me that you'll still be at the villa when Hede returns with the children next week," Agathe's mother requested. "The children tell me you've changed your plans and will be leaving before the end of the summer holidays. I'm not sure why. It's really none of my business. Personally, I think Georg should hold onto you as long as he can. Just promise me you'll be at the villa next week when they return."

"Well, I had planned to return to the Abbey when I felt better," Maria replied quietly, turning her eyes away, not wanting to decipher the look in the Captain's eyes. She felt a little less than honest talking about returning to the Abbey. After all, she wasn't sure if it was something she could do. Would the Reverend Mother have her back?

"Please don't leave before the children return," their grandmother pleaded. "They're terrified you'll leave while they're still here. I don't know what you've done Maria, but you're all they've talked about since arriving. Well, you and their father."

"The Captain?" Maria questioned, looking back up at the deep blue eyes that stared at her from across the desk at the mention of his name.

Georg arched his brow at Maria, wondering what the two women were saying about him. It seemed that Agathe's mother had picked up from the children that he was something of his old self.

"It seems you've changed that man, Fraulein. Changed him for the better," she said.

"Oh, it was nothing really," Maria smiled fondly at him. "He just needed a gentle push in the right direction," she added.

"Don't be silly, my dear," she told her gently, but firmly. "I saw firsthand how Agathe's passing impacted poor Georg. It was so sudden and unexpected, it shocked all of us, but him so much more than anyone else. We kept hoping he'd recover. We'd almost given up hope. He's been a shadow of the man he used to be. Until now…" she paused. "Thank you. From what the children have told me, from what Hede saw the other day, they finally have their father back. It's all thanks to you."

"That's kind of you to say, but I'm still not sure I can take too much credit," Maria blushed.

"Well, that's not what the children tell me," the children's grandmother continued. "Now, I don't like seeing my grandchildren scared or worried. I'll tell them that you're feeling better, but can I also tell them that they will see you next week?"

"I promise, I'll be here when they return," Maria said quietly. She could still see the hurt in the children's eyes when she returned after fleeing the night of the party. She'd never forget those looks, and she knew it wouldn't be fair to ask the Captain to say her goodbyes after she'd left. She'd been a coward already these past days.

"Thank you, I'll let them know. You have no idea how relieved they'll be," she said. "The children are so fond of you, Maria. They adore you."

Maria felt her heart skip a beat at the words. Over the summer, she'd grown to love the children more than anything. "Can I speak to them?" she was unsure if she was asking too much. "Please…I can tell them myself…"

"I'm sorry, Maria, but they've gone with Hede to the beach," Agathe's mother answered.

"Oh…I see…" Maria could barely hide her disappointment.

Georg reached out and squeezed her hand. "Are you alright?" he whispered.

She nodded quickly and swallowed back the tears. She missed the children so much. "The children are at the beach with your sister," she whispered.

"When they return, we'll call again and you can speak to them, if you're feeling up to it of course," she could sense Maria's disappointment. "I know they would love to speak to you," she reassured her. "And Georg," she added. It had been the first time in the past four years that the children had begged to speak to their father. In the past, they'd been too fearful.

"That would be wonderful. Thank you so much," Maria smiled. "I hadn't realised how much I miss them," she laughed at her own silliness.

Georg smiled as he heard Maria's laughter. Making his way through the letters, he was just about to put them aside when one caught his attention. Reluctantly releasing Maria's hand, he pulled the letter out of the pile and turned it over. His name on the front wasn't handwritten, it was typed. Wondering who it could be from, he ran his finger underneath the gum at the back and took it out of the envelope.

"Maria, rest up. I know how excited the children will be when we call you," Agathe said. "Thank you for taking my call. It's been a pleasure speaking to. Now, could you please pass the telephone across to Georg?"

"Thank you , Agathe, good-bye," Maria said before handing the telephone across the desk towards the Captain, who seemed distracted by one of the letters. "Captain…" she whispered to him, nodding at the receiver.

Smiling at her, Georg took the heavy, black receiver from Maria. He took a deep breath and ran his hand through his hair. "Erh, hello, Agathe," he spoke a little hesitantly as he straightened up in his chair and stared at the folded letter on the desk in front of him.

Sensing his unease, Maria gently ran her finger across the back of his hand that was resting on the desk. Catching his attention, his eyes moved up to hers. "Do you want me to leave?" she mouthed.

Holding his jaw tight, he shook his head as he turned his hand and took hold of hers.

"Hello, Georg," his mother in law replied. "I hope you don't mind me calling to speak to your governess."

"Ehrm…no, not at all," Georg had only been able to make out part of the conversation, he still wasn't sure what they'd been discussing. "How are the children? Behaving, I hope."

"They've changed, Georg," Agathe's mother replied. "They keep talking about Fraulein Maria. Who would have thought they would have become so close to a governess? Your children, Georg! They chased every other one away."

"Yes, well, I can assure you that this governess is very different to the previous ones," he looked up at Maria and smiled.

"Clearly. We've tried our best to distract them, but the poor things have been so worried about her," Agathe continued. "I hope you're looking after her. She sounds terrible, but is she getting better?"

"The doctor was here a few hours ago and was happy with how she'd improved from yesterday. She's much better," Georg squeezed Maria's hand. "And, yes, we're all looking after her. We know how precious she is to the children." He watched Maria blush at his words. _God, she was adorable_.

"Good!" she said. "The children tell me that she left suddenly the other day, but has returned. I don't what that's all about, but she's promised me she will stay at the villa until the children return. Make sure she does, Georg. The children will be expecting to see their governess when they return."

"I'll make sure she's here," Georg told her, as he held onto Maria's eyes.

"So, you've finally introduced Elsa Schraeder to Salzburg," Agathe's mother continued.

Georg felt the disapproval in the voice on the other end of the line. Obviously something else the children had told their grandmother. He closed his eyes, realising that the children had left before he'd called things off with Elsa. "After Hede picked up the children, Elsa returned to Vienna. She won't be back."

"Well, Georg, the children will be happy to hear the news. As much as I like Elsa, we both know she was never going to be the mother Agathe would have wanted for the children," she continued. "You've made the right decision."

He knew at his age he didn't need the approval of Agathe's mother. But still it was important to him. She loved her grandchildren more than most grandmothers. It was only to be expected. After all they were her remaining link to her only child. It was understandable. He knew it was important for her to approve of anything that affected the children. Even as their father, he accepted that.

"Agathe, I hope the children haven't been too much trouble," Georg knew only too well what a handful all seven children could be.

"You know I love having them here," he could feel the smile in her words. "They're at the beach but Hede will call later when she returns with the children," Agathe told him. "Ever since they arrived, they've been begging to talk to you and Maria."

"We're both missing the children badly, hug them for us and we'll look forward to your call in a few hours," Georg told her.

"Georg, we've waited patiently, but time seems to have healed some of the pain," Agathe had almost given up hope of Georg ever showing the children affection again. The weight of his words wasn't lost on her. It had been heart-breaking to see how fearful of him the children had become. "We hoped it eventually would," she added wistfully.

"Yes, perhaps time has played a part," he agreed, although he knew his healing had more to do with a certain governess, rather than the passing of time. "Thank you for calling, Agathe. And thank you again for taking the children at such short notice."

"You know I'm only too happy to see the children whenever I can, and I adore your sister. Goodbye, Georg." He waited until he heard the click of the telephone being hung up, before returning the receiver to the cradle.

"What a lovely woman," Maria couldn't stop herself. "It's obvious how much she loves the children." Georg smiled at her. "And she cares for you as well, Captain."

"Hmm, even after everything," he was suddenly serious.

"She couldn't have thought you were in any way responsible for what happened," Maria told him.

"There was a time when I felt like everyone should blame me," Georg said quietly. "Even if people weren't blaming me, I wanted them to."

"Captain, I'm so sorry you felt that way," Maria reached over to take hold of his hand. "How could you be responsible for something so terrible?"

"I'd won every battle I'd led during the war," he squeezed Maria's hand. "Imagine not being able to keep my own wife safe…in her own home, for God's sake…"

Maria could see the sadness starting to pool in the Captain's eyes. "That is such a beautiful photograph of your wife and the children," Maria said turning to the frame on the corner of the desk. It showed a beautiful, elegant woman surrounded by six small children while she cradled a newborn Gretl.

"Like so many things, I'd forgotten how much I adored that photograph. There are so many happy memories from that day. Trying to get the children to sit still for long enough at the same time for the poor photographer," he smiled, feeling the sadness leave him. "Thank you…" he added in a whisper.

Maria looked at him with a frown, unsure why he would be thanking her.

"You know it was you who made me realise. I had seven children who needed their father, not a man running away from the burden of his guilt and grief," he held her hand a little tighter as he gave a little shrug. "I was in the attic searching for that photograph the night I returned from Vienna."

"You would have realised eventually," Maria reassured him.

"I'm not so sure," Georg looked down at her hand as he ran his thumb across her knuckles before looking back up at her. "There's only one other person who would dare to speak to me the way you did." He turned towards the smiling eyes of his wife in the photograph. So full of love. So full of hope for the future.

"Oh…" Maria murmured.

"But that's enough of that," Georg turned back to her abruptly, breaking her out of her thoughts. "There will be a telephone call from the children in a few hours." Standing up, he walked around to Maria's side of the desk. "I'll help you across to the sofa, where you can rest until the call comes through."

"I'm sure I can walk that short distance myself, Captain," Maria protested as she gathered the blanket from her lap and placed it on the arm of the chair. Standing, she leant on the desk to steady herself.

"I'm not taking any chances, Fraulein," Georg placed his arm around her waist, as he helped her across to the sofa that faced the fireplace.

Sitting in the middle of the large sofa, Maria was straightening her dressing gown around her when the Captain reappeared with the blanket. "Make yourself comfortable, while I light the fire, Fraulein," he told her as he wrapped the woollen blanket around her legs.

Maria watched on as the Captain took some kindling from the wood box beside the mantel and knelt down to lay it carefully on the empty hearth. Striking one of the matches, he took care to make sure the kindling was alight before adding some larger pieces of wood. Her blocked head must be clearing, she thought, as she closed her eyes for a moment and breathed in the smoky smell of the wood as it started to burn.

Resting back on his heels while he watched the flames lapping at the larger pieces of wood, he took the folded letter out of his top pocket of his shirt. Unfolding it, he cursed as he recognised the insignia of the Third Reich.

"What is it, Captain?" Maria asked immediately.

"Our German friends inviting me to join their damn navy," he answered angrily as he screwed the letter into a ball and threw it on the fire.

"Captain, I've heard you say often enough that you don't want to be part of this madness," Maria said as calmly as she could, "But is it wise to ignore them?"

"They've been sounding me out to join them for months now," he turned to face her. "Their not so subtle attempts to recruit me have failed, so now it seems they're going to ramp up their efforts."

"Oh, I'm so sorry, Captain, I didn't realise," Maria looked at him saddened that he'd had to deal with this on his own. "What will you do?"

"Keep ignoring them," Georg stood up and sat on the sofa beside Maria. "A letter in the post is hardly an official call up."

"Oh…" Maria's mind was racing. "I feel terrible. I hadn't realised the pressure you've been under."

"Don't worry about that now," he smiled at her. "I'm not. I will never join their navy. It's not negotiable."

"But, Captain…" Maria began.

"Maria, let's not ruin our evening worrying about madmen," Georg reached out and placed his hand on her knee. He could see she was worried, he wished he hadn't made her aware of what was going on around them.

They stared into the fire for a while, both lost in their own thoughts. Both thinking of the things that were important to them, neither realising that both their lists included the children, each other and very little else.

Happy the fire had taken hold, Georg got up and put on some of the largest logs.

"I'm still surprised you have this study upstairs," Maria tried to lighten the sombre mood as she lifted her legs up onto the sofa beside her. "I don't think the children even know about it."

"Well, like I said, I had it converted before Liesl arrived," he sat down on the sofa beside Maria. "Even after Agathe had regained her strength, she couldn't bear to be too far away from Liesl. Neither of us could, she was so adorable." Standing up to straighten one of the logs in the hearth with the poker, he was soon sinking back into the plush sofa.

"Then as the other children arrived, Agathe refused to hand most of the tasks over to the various staff I'd employed to help her. Well, I gave up in the end and decided it would be easier to just move my work up here," he turned to smile at Maria who was looking up at him with those wide blue eyes he found so mesmerising.

"I missed Agathe and the children so much when I was at sea, well, when I was home, I just wanted to be close…" he looked away unable to bear the sadness in her eyes, certain they were mirroring his own. "And well then…" he cleared his throat, staring into the fire as the large logs took hold.

"I'm so sorry, Captain," Maria interrupted him, wishing that she hadn't churned up memories of his wife.

"I'd avoided coming in here, you know," he admitted quietly. "Actually, I never did..."

"Really?" Maria asked.

"Mmmhmm," he nodded. "Too many memories."

"Oh, Captain, I'm so sorry," Maria's hands were on the edge of the sofa, as she went to stand up. "You should have said something. We can go downstairs to take the call…"

"Maria…" Georg reached out and took her hand, gently pulling her back into the sofa and forcing her to look at him. "This summer, after I returned from Vienna, I used to come here often. I used find myself sitting in here during the mornings when the children had their lessons," he smiled at her. "I'd forgotten how much I missed them," he whispered. "Thank you for reminding me," he added.

"Captain, I'm sure you're just saying that. Honestly, we can go to your other study," she told him. "I'm sure I can make it down the stairs…"

"Maria…" her name rolled off his tongue. "It's true. I'd hate to think how many hours I sat in here over summer. I used to sit here in the morning with the window open, listening to your voices drifting down from their school room."

"Really?" she whispered, losing herself in the intensity of his eyes.

"Really," he told her. "Now is there anything I can get you?"

"No, thank you," she slowly shook her head, still lost in his eyes.

"Are you warm enough?" he asked, smiling as he watched her nod.

"Well, make yourself comfortable, close your eyes and rest. You know the children will all want to have their turn talking to you," he smiled back. "And then one of them will remember some little detail and have to talk to you again, and then they'll all have to take another turn."

"Oh, I'm sure they won't be that bad!" Maria smiled, she could hardly wait to hear their voices again.

"You don't realise how much you mean to them, do you?" Georg ran the back of his hand down her cheek. "Come here!" he said as he wrapped his arm around her shoulders and pulled her against him. "Now rest!"

Georg glanced down and smiled as he watched Maria close her eyes and lean back further against him. He could hardly tell her that he would sit here on the sofa with the window open listening to his children, but hoping to hear her voice above their din. He'd sit here, waiting for any excuse to appear in the children's school room to see her. Most days, just hearing her wasn't enough. He had to see her.

He still had no idea about her feelings for him. She obviously felt something. But he couldn't be sure what. She'd told Agathe's mother that she was planning to return to the Abbey when she was well enough. He had to respect whatever decision she made, but surely she must see how much he and the children needed her. How much they loved her. And now with all this madness swirling around them, he knew he would need her even more.

As he let his cheek brush the top of her head, he knew he loved her even more.

ooooXXXXoooo

The sand was warm between his toes. He'd forgotten how much he missed the smell of the ocean, the rhythm of the waves. He smiled as he watched the children trying to race the waves across the wet sand onto the beach. He reached down and wrapped his arm tighter around Maria's waist. He loved feeling the weight of her against him, the warmth of her. He couldn't imagine ever growing tired of this feeling. He wondered if the children were distracted enough. Could he steal a kiss? Would one be enough…

Suddenly, he was jolted from his thoughts by the shrill ring from behind him. Forcing his eyes open, he looked down. Maria was lifting her sleepy head from his lap. She was on her side, holding onto his leg. His arm was draped around her waist.

He looked around, his thoughts still interrupted by the intermittent ringing of the telephone. They were in the upstairs study. They must have both fallen asleep.

"That will be the children…" he told her as he brushed hair from her face, which was bathed in the warm glow of the fire.

"Wait here…" he waited for her to sit up before standing up to walk around the desk to answer the telephone.

"Hello..." Georg picked up the receiver and answered. He smiled as he looked across to Maria who was sitting on the sofa hugging her knees. He could see how desperate she was to hear the children's voices. The days had seemed like weeks.

"This _is_ Captain von Trapp," Georg answered gruffly. "Who is this?"

He watched as Maria's smile fell from her face.

"Herr Zeller…?"

 **Thank you everyone for continuing to read and review. Apologies for the ridiculous delay updating this story, I hope you're still with me. Over the past months, I've learnt that I'm completely hopeless at writing more than one story at once…some people make it seem so effortless, I'm in complete awe of them! Anyway, I'm now back and focused!**

 **Please check out "Distant Sun" by Crowded House. One of their finest, among many great songs. One of the lines from this song's chorus was borrowed for the name of a band formed by some band members from Crowded House and Radiohead, among others. 7 Worlds Collide was set up by a group of amazing artists purely for charity.**

 **I don't own TSOM, just having a lend.**

 **"** **Immerse your soul in love"**


	15. Chapter 15

**Who is that calling?  
You my companion  
Run through the water on a burning beach  
And it brings me relief**

 **Total surrender**  
 **Your touch is so tender**  
 **Your skin is like water**  
 **On a burning beach**  
 **And it brings me relief**  
 **And it brings me relief**  
 **And it brings me relief**

 **"** **Nails In My Feet" Crowded House "Together Alone" (1993)**

 _"_ _Herr Zeller…"_

Maria sat on the sofa hugging her legs. As it became obvious that it wasn't the children on the telephone, she could feel her excitement falling away as quickly as her smile. She'd been desperate to hear the children's voices. She hadn't seen or heard them for two days now. Or was it three? The past few days had been a bit of a blur. She'd lost track. She never imagined she'd miss the children as much as this. If she couldn't hug or hold them, she wanted nothing more than to hear their voices.

She didn't know who Herr Zeller was, but she hoped his call wouldn't take too long. Rubbing the sleep from her eyes, she realised that she'd even been dreaming of the children. Dreaming that the Captain, her and the children were down by the lake. But, no matter how much she wished, no matter what she dreamed, she reminded herself that this summer couldn't go on forever.

Thinking back to her conversation with the children's grandmother, Maria felt a pang of guilt. She'd told her that she would be returning to the Abbey as soon as she was well enough. It was partly true. But she wouldn't be returning to continue her vocation. She would only be returning long enough to tell the Reverend Mother that she would be leaving the Abbey for good. Dreading her uncertain future, she turned her attention back to the Captain.

Stifling a cough, she watched the Captain look across the room to her with a raised brow. She nodded that she was alright, there was no need to worry. He rolled his eyes in response. She smiled at him. It seemed that it wasn't just her who wanted the call to end. With her disappointment quickly turning to curiosity, Maria decided that she must be starting to feel better. Certainly, her sore throat had almost disappeared, she was still congested, but her body wasn't aching and it had been some time since she'd felt feverish or chilled to the bone.

And, she was starting to notice things again. Things like the Captain's voice. The soft, warm tone she'd become used to over the past weeks had disappeared as soon as he'd said Herr Zeller's name. He was now talking in that clipped, impatient tone she recognised from the day she arrived at the villa.

Who was Herr Zeller, she wondered. It wasn't only the Captain's tone that told her he wasn't happy. It was obvious in the way he was holding himself. He was standing straighter, his shoulders pulled back. She could see the fingers of his right hand tighten around the telephone's receiver.

"Herr Zeller, as much as I am _flattered_ by your call, this really isn't the time," barely concealing his hostility, Georg could feel his body tensing. He despised what this man represented. It wasn't just the Nazi doctrine of hatred and intolerance. It was much more than that. Zeller was a traitor. How could he tolerate anyone who supported the Anschluss?

Handing Austria over to a foreign country was inconceivable. He'd fought long and hard for Austria. He'd valiantly defended her. But now he was seeing the Austria he loved disappearing in front of him. In many ways, it was like watching his beloved Agathe slipping away. And once again, he felt powerless.

With Zeller starting to explain the importance of supporting the Germans, Georg's patience was evaporating fast. How dare this man interrupt his evening? "Zeller…"

Maria wondered what the Captain and this Herr Zeller could be talking about. She watched from the sofa as the Captain closed his eyes and turned away from her to face the wall behind his desk. Still standing, he was flexing the fingers on his left hand. She held her breath, and it wasn't long before he was drumming his fingers against his leg. Over the summer, she'd quickly learned it was a sure sign he wasn't happy.

Despite the Captain's growing impatience, the man who called must be important, Maria decided. After all, he'd cut the Captain off a number of times. Over the summer, and even at the party, she'd noticed that most men, not just the military ones, deferred to the Captain. In the beginning, she thought it was just because of his rank. But she'd quickly learned that it was out of respect for the man the Captain was, not just because he outranked them. She smiled to herself. Even when he allowed himself to relax, he could still be an imposing presence.

"Zeller, I have no intention of discussing this with you tonight," Georg tried to maintain a civil tone, but his raised voice betrayed him. His patience had all but vanished. Struggling to control his anger, he couldn't help thinking that he may have underestimated Zeller.

Having been deemed unfit for service by the country's military forces years ago, Zeller had worked his way into a senior role for one of the local banks. But of late, he'd been rising through the ranks of the Nazi Party. As the likelihood of the Anschluss grew, so, it seemed, did the man's arrogance. But what really troubled Georg was that Zeller knew the contents of his personal correspondence.

"Herr Zeller…" Georg ran his hair through his hair, his blood starting to boil. How dare he interrupt his evening and then continue to talk over him? Who the hell did he think he was? "Really, I'm not sure why this would be of any…"

With the Captain barely hiding his frustration, Maria swung her legs to the floor and stood up, steadying herself against the arm of the sofa. Pulling the lapels of her dressing gown together, she made her way towards the Captain. He was still facing away from her and she could see his white shirt pulling tight against the muscles across his back as he drew in a deep breath. As she reduced the distance to where he was standing, she could feel the tension in the air.

Deciding that he couldn't hold his tongue any longer, Georg opened his mouth to start his tirade, but suddenly his breath caught. He felt a gentle touch on his forearm, just below his rolled up shirtsleeve. Surprised, he looked down and was met by wide blue eyes filled with concern.

Forgetting about Zeller, Georg could only think about Maria's fingers gently squeezing his arm. Reminding him to remain calm. Reminding him, with just a touch, a look, not to let his anger and impatience get in the way. Here she was, saving him from himself. How did someone so young gain such wisdom? Georg smiled his thanks and was met with a nod of encouragement, reminding him that he wasn't alone. She was there for him. How had she known he needed he, he wondered. But then, she'd known the moment she arrived at the villa.

Watching her concern turn to reassurance, he couldn't stop himself. He reached for her waist and gently pulled her to him. As her body leaned into his, he felt the tension leaving him. He closed his eyes as he rested his cheek against her hair. It was the same feeling he remembered from the night of the party. When they'd danced. When he'd finally held her in his arms and felt relief wash over him. In that moment, nothing else had mattered. For those few moments, it no longer mattered that he was holding the first party at the villa without Agathe. Politics no longer seemed to be casting its dark cloud. It no longer mattered that he was courting Elsa. Holding Maria in his arms then, it was as if nothing else existed.

It was the same now. Zeller was still talking on the other end of the telephone, repeating some Nazi dogma. But Georg had stopped listening. It didn't matter what benefits the Nazis might bring to Austria. Right at that moment, the most important thing was holding onto Maria. He was thinking about what she'd told Agathe's mother, that she was going to return to the Abbey. Surely that couldn't be true? He just wished he could hold onto her forever.

Maria leaned into the Captain. She didn't like seeing the old Captain return. She knew it was how he protected himself. It was a barrier he would put between himself and other people. It used to be the children. When she'd first arrived, it had been her. Hadn't Agathe's mother had told her earlier that for a time it had been everyone. This man who called had triggered something in the Captain. She had no idea why, but it worried her. At least for now, it had subsided.

Releasing his hold on her a little, Georg gave Maria a thin smile of thanks. Realising how utterly inadequate it was, he turned his attention back to the telephone call. "Zeller…" he interrupted with much less anger and frustration than before. "Unfortunately, there's an illness in the household. Surely this can wait?"

"Forgive me, Captain, I didn't realise," Herr Zeller apologised. After assuring the Party that he could win the support of the _great_ Captain von Trapp, he knew he needed to tread carefully. Only a few days ago, at the von Trapp party, he'd let his anger get away from him. More than once. He couldn't allow that to happen again. Not with a man who was notoriously short tempered. Provoking him wouldn't serve the Party's interests, and it certainly wasn't going to serve his. "I'll arrange a time to visit later in the week. It may be easier to discuss this in person."

"Perhaps. Evening, Zeller," forcing himself to end the conversation politely, Georg replaced the receiver on the cradle of the telephone. He closed his eyes and sighed, feeling the remaining tension leave his body.

"What's wrong, Captain?" Maria asked. He was still holding her by the waist, and her hand now resting on his upper arm.

"It's nothing to worry about, Fraulein" opening his eyes, Georg tried to reassure her with a forced smile.

"Captain, you're worried. What is it?" Maria prompted gently.

Georg smiled to himself, realising he was wasting his time. There was no use pretending. If anyone could see through him, it was Maria. Zeller's call had angered him, but more than that, he was concerned for all their futures. He knew that if there was someone he could talk to, it was Maria. _God, what was he trying to protect her from?_ She was so much braver than him.

"The Nazis are following up their invitation for me to join them," he said softly as he watched her frown forming. "Here, sit down," he motioned for Maria to sit on one of the two chairs facing the desk. Once she was settled, he pulled the other chair closer to her and sat down beside her.

"But you said it wasn't a formal request?" Maria hoped that was still the case.

"At this stage, it's just an invitation. But they're being persistent. _Politely persistent_ ," he smiled grimly at her. It was a smile that didn't reach his eyes. Truth was, he'd been worried about the growing influence of the Nazis in Austria over the past months. They'd been building momentum after initially being outlawed. Becoming more than some underground movement attracting a handful of the disenchanted, they could no longer be dismissed as just some splinter group wanting to align to Germany's radical politics. At the party the other night, he'd been shocked by the level of support for them.

Georg had hoped the Nazi Party would run its course in Austria. He'd been convinced that once people understood what it really represented, they would see through the hatred and extreme views being peddled as hope. But their promises seemed to resonate with people. Many were suffering financially, while others were keen to repair the country's pride after the humiliating defeat of Austria's once great military. "I'm sure it's nothing to worry about." He realised his words sounded hollow as he turned away to look at the wall behind the desk. But he knew he was wasting his time pretending to sound more hopeful than he really was. He knew Maria would see right through him. She always did.

"Please, tell me about it, Captain," Maria could see how worried he was. She'd seen how the words on the other end of the telephone had affected him.

Turning back to her, Georg reached over to squeeze her hand, trying to reassure her "I don't want to worry you unnecessarily, Fraulein," he told her just as she stifled a sneeze.

"Gesundheit!" he smiled as he retrieved a handkerchief from his pocket and handed it to her.

Nodding her thanks, Maria blew her nose and held onto the Captain's handkerchief. "Why don't you explain it to me while we wait for the children's call," she encouraged him.

"I'm sure you don't need to be burdened with any of this," Georg insisted. "You're supposed to be getting well."

"I know, Captain, but I'll worry more if you don't tell me," she smiled and shrugged at him. "Tell me what they want from you. You look like you need to tell someone."

Georg smiled at the woman sitting next to him. Maria was right. He missed having someone to share his thoughts and concerns. He'd tried to speak to Elsa about it several times over the past weeks. But she'd just dismissed his concerns, telling him that he had to stop living in the past and learn to move with the times. What had she told him? That it was important to just learn to get along with these people. She'd even hinted that he should stop making his political views so widely known amongst their social groups.

 _God, he missed Agathe_. She would know what to do. Perhaps Maria was right. Perhaps he should just tell her everything. For so long, he'd shut everyone out, making sure they didn't get too close. Since Agathe, he'd revealed more of himself to Maria than anyone.

Taking a deep breath, he realised he needed to trust her. He knew he could. "Fraulein, what I'm going to tell you, please treat with the utmost confidence," he said softly.

"Of course," Maria nodded at him.

"You can't speak about this to anyone. None of the staff, nor the children. Not my sister, or Agathe's mother," he said quietly as he searched her face for any hesitation. He should have known he wouldn't find any. "I haven't spoken of this to Max," he added, tightening his jaw as he recalled his friend's advice to do whatever it took to get along with the Nazis.

"Captain, I always treat our discussions as private. I promise I won't say anything," she looked at him, her wide, blue eyes filled with compassion. "I'm just so sorry that you've had to carry all this worry alone since Baroness Schraeder…"

"I never discussed this with Elsa," Georg corrected Maria abruptly.

"Oh…" Maria frowned, her cheeks reddening. "I'm sorry, I just assumed…"

"Both Max and Elsa made it clear some time ago they thought I should just get along with whoever was running the country. They didn't appreciate me making my loyalty to Austria so public," Georg squeezed her hand. "Another reason why Elsa and I would never have worked," he said quietly, as much to himself as Maria.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to pry…" Maria blushed furiously at her mistake.

"Maria, don't apologise," Georg's words were soft as he let go of her hand and ran the back of his fingers down her cheek. It was still flushed.

"I just say whatever comes into my head…" Maria shrugged as she tried to explain.

"Promise me you'll never change," Georg was suddenly serious. Did she realise how refreshing it was?

Maria smiled and shook her head, surely he was teasing.

"I mean it, Fraulein," Georg smiled, but his tone was serious.

"Captain, please tell me about the telephone call…" Maria encouraged him. "Who is Herr Zeller?"

"Herr Zeller is a traitor," Georg said coldly. He could barely hide his hatred for the man. "He's betting all his chips on the Nazis taking control of Austria. He's been busy positioning himself to take a key role in the local administration if and when that happens."

"Was he following up that letter that you threw into the fire?" Maria asked slowly, almost fearful of the Captain's response.

Georg nodded.

"But what about the children?" Maria demanded.

"I know," Georg sighed as he took hold of Maria's hand. "It's all I can think about."

"Captain, they need you," Maria whispered. "They have no-one else."

"As long as you're here, they have both of us," Georg squeezed Maria's hand.

"But even if I'm here, what happens to us if you're sent away?" Maria could barely look at him as he ran a worried hand through his hair. "Captain, surely they can't force you to join?" Sometimes when they'd meet in the evening to discuss the children's progress, they'd talked about politics. They'd spoken enough about the current political climate for her to know that the Captain could never join the Nazis. "You must have some say in it."

"I'd like to think so," Georg replied. "But the world around us seems to be descending into madness, Fraulein."

"But you can refuse them, can't you?" she asked slowly, fearful that it might not be that simple.

"I can for the moment," Georg told her. "But if Austria falls to the Nazis, if the Anschluss happens, I don't think I'll be able to continue refusing them."

"But how can they force you?" she asked, holding her breath as she waited for an answer she knew she was dreading.

"These men are monsters, Fraulein," he answered honestly. "At some point, they will use the children…"

"Surely not!" Maria gasped. "Not the children..."

Georg let go of her hand. Holding onto the arms of his chair, he turned it so that he was facing her directly. She'd already started wringing her hands in her lap. Over summer, he'd learned it was a sign that she was worried. Taking both her hands in his, he looked into her blue eyes. "Maria, these men will do whatever it takes to force me to take command of their U-boats," he watched with sadness as her eyes grew wider with fear. "I'm sorry, the last thing I want to do is scare you, but you need to know the truth," he whispered.

"What can we do? We have to do something…" Maria asked, tears welling in her eyes at the thought of the children in danger.

"I know. To join the Germans is unthinkable. To refuse them, after the Anschluss, would be fatal for all of us," Georg said quietly, sadly. He hated seeing so much sadness and fear in her eyes. Reaching up, he ran the back of his hand gently down her cheek and watched as she closed her eyes. _God, how did the world come to this?_

"I'm sorry, I've upset you…" he whispered.

"I'm glad you told me," Maria wiped a tear from her eye with the handkerchief she'd balled up in her hand. "It would be awful for you to be worrying about this alone, but…"

Suddenly a shrill ring interrupted them. They both looked across to the telephone on the corner of the desk.

"The children…" they whispered together, quickly looking at each other.

Georg stood up and picked up the telephone. "Hello?" he answered. "Ah, Hede!" he turned to Maria and they shared a thankful smile. "Yes, yes, Maria's here with me," he told his sister as he watched Maria's face slowly light up. "No, that can wait. Please put one of the children on and I'll hand the telephone over to Maria," he was desperate to replace the worry that was still etched on Maria's face with one of her smiles.

Maria was already on her feet beside him, taking the receiver as he held it out to her. "Hello?" she asked tentatively. "Gretl, how are you?" she closed her eyes and pictured the small girl standing in the Captain's study with them. She could even see her waving her arms around as she explained their trip in the car through the mountains with their Aunt Hede, down to her Grandmother's house by the beach.

Georg smiled as he watched Maria. His heart skipped as he heard her laughing at Gretl's story. He knew her laughter was probably just sheer joy and happiness to hear the children again. He pulled her chair closer to the desk, and gently touch her lower back. She opened her eyes and looked at him as he motioned for her to sit down. If they were going take a turn to talk to each of the children, this call was going to take some time, he thought to himself as he sat in the chair beside her.

"You saw _what_ at the beach?!" Maria exclaimed, her voice pitching higher than usual with her throat still a little scratchy.

Georg reached over and took hold of her hand. The children loved her, it was so obvious. And it was impossible not to see how much she loved them. As he ran his thumb across the back of her hand, he couldn't help but wonder what the future was going to hold for all of them…

ooooXXXXoooo

Georg was right. It had been a long call. In amongst all of the chaos and excitement, Hede had somehow organised the children to take a turn each, starting with Gretl and working up to Liesl. Even though they spoke to each of the children separately, starting with Maria first, and then he would take his turn, it seemed like they were all part of the same conversation.

Many times, Maria would be holding the receiver to her ear, but would stop to ask Georg something or to tell him what the children had been doing. And when it was his turn to take the telephone, the children would often ask him to tell Maria something they'd forgotten. He'd pretended to be offended that Maria was stealing part of his turn, but truth was, he couldn't be happier.

After the call, their heads were still buzzing with all the children's stories, their excitement had been infectious. They'd moved across to the sofa and had been going over their conversations with each of the children, in case one of them had missed something. Georg had just finished putting more wood on the fire and turned to take up his seat next to Maria. She was still smiling. "They adore you, Fraulein," he said softly as he sat down and stretched out his legs towards the fire.

"It's silly…" Maria turned and whispered to him. "I didn't realise how much I would miss them."

Turning to her, he wrapped his arm around her shoulders. "It's not silly at all," he told her. "You know, at the start of summer, I never imagined there would be a time when I'd miss the children again. Thank you…" he closed his eyes as he dropped his cheek against her hair.

"You would have found your way back to them eventually, Captain," Maria leaned against him as the flames licked at the logs in the fireplace.

"I'm not so certain," Georg replied. "How are you feeling, Fraulein? The children haven't tired you out?"

"A little. But it was worth it," she smiled.

They sat in a comfortable silence, watching the fire as a loud crackle was followed by a shower of sparks.

"Do you think the Anschluss will happen?" Maria asked quietly. "Surely Austrians are too proud to give up their country."

"Six months ago, I would have thought it unlikely," Georg explained. "But now, well now, I'm less certain. I'm afraid that it seems almost inevitable."

"What makes you say that?" Maria asked as she turned to look at the Captain. "What has changed?"

"Perhaps it's fear. Desperation. Resignation. Who can tell," Georg shrugged. "I could feel it on the night of the party. It didn't help that Zeller was prowling around keeping track of everyone and their…"

"He was here?" Maria cut him off, sitting up a little straighter. "In the villa?"

"Yes." Georg tightened his jaw at the thought. "I wasn't going to invite him, but Elsa added him to the final guest list." It had felt like a betrayal. It had felt like a violation of Agathe's home. She would never have allowed a man preaching such hatred into their home. Not within the same walls as the children.

"Was he that short man?" Maria quietly interrupted his thoughts. "A short man with a thin moustache…?"

"Sounds like Zeller," Georg answered.

"Oh, no…" Maria suddenly clutched the Captain's leg.

"Why? What happened…?" Georg asked.

"Well, I'm sure it was nothing…" Maria looked away.

"Maria…?" Georg encouraged.

"Oh my, I think I spoke to him…" Maria said quietly. She hadn't realised who that nasty little man was. "I'm sorry, Captain, I hope I haven't made things worse…"

 **Thank you everyone for continuing to read and review my story.**

 **I hope I didn't lose you in this chapter. I struggled a little trying to keep all the different conversations in some kind of order.**

 **Please check out "Nails In My Feet" by Crowded House. I adore so many of their songs, but this one in particular.**

 **As you know, I don't own TSOM, simply having a lend!**

 **"Immerse your soul in love"**


	16. Chapter 16

**In pitch dark** **  
I go walking in your landscape  
Broken branches  
Trip me as I speak**

 **Just cause you feel it**  
 **Doesn't mean it's there**  
 **Just cause you feel it**  
 **Doesn't mean it's there**

 **"** **There There" Radiohead "Hail To The Thief" (2003)**

"You spoke to Zeller?" Georg couldn't hide the surprise in his voice as he looked at Maria, who was now perched on the edge of the sofa, looking anxiously at him.

"Oh, my!" Maria's hand flew off the Captain's leg. She'd grabbed it in a panic, but as her words to Herr Zeller came flooding back, her hand flew up to cover her mouth. "I didn't realise…" she stumbled over her words as she brought her hand down to join the other in her lap. "I didn't know it was him…"

"Tell me what happened," Georg reached over and squeezed her hands reassuringly. "I'm sure you haven't made things worse," he tried to convince her, recalling his own confrontation with Zeller that night.

"Oh, dear…" she turned to the Captain. Why couldn't she just learn to keep her opinions to herself, for heaven's sake? The Reverend Mother had been right. "It was early in the evening. The last of the guests were still arriving and I was looking for the children," she smiled at the thought of the children. But her smile was quickly replaced by a frown. "Since the night of the puppet show, they'd been so excited about the party…" she added, more than a little embarrassed that the children had slipped away from her so quickly. She'd been so distracted by the sound of the orchestra, and the women in their glamorous dresses dancing with the men in uniform. It felt like she'd landed in a world from some fairy tale. It hadn't taken long for her to lose the children in all the excitement.

"What on Earth did Zeller say to you, Fraulein?" Georg asked, curious as to what business Zeller would have with his governess.

"That's just it, in the beginning, he didn't say anything to me," Maria blushed and looked away. Why did she have to be so outspoken? Why did she always have to blurt out whatever thought came into her head? "Well, not to me…"

"Erh, I don't understand," Georg frowned at her.

"Well, I was walking through the foyer looking for the children, and found myself in the ballroom…" Maria blushed again. Baroness Schraeder had made it perfectly clear, more than once, that she didn't approve of the children and their governess being allowed at the party. It had only been at the Captain's insistence that the children and her hadn't been banished to their rooms upstairs for the entire evening.

Maria had promised herself she'd remain in the background. The last thing she'd wanted was to draw any attention and have to suffer yet another withering look from the Baroness. She'd already had a summer of those looks. While she'd been searching for the children, she'd said a silent prayer of thanks that the Baroness was at the Captain's side in the foyer greeting guests. At least while they were there, she wasn't going to be caught out being somewhere she wasn't supposed to be.

"Anyway…" Maria began tentatively, trying to shake thoughts of the Baroness from her mind as she sat back in the sofa. "I heard this short man talking to another man…" she turned towards the Captain. "He was talking so loudly, making sure he drew attention to himself."

"Sounds like Zeller," Georg nodded grimly. "What were they talking about?"

"The flag in the foyer," Maria said simply. "According to him, it was…what were his words? An obvious, opulent display of the Austrian flag. That's what he told everyone."

Georg could feel his body tighten. _Damn Elsa!_ That had been the very reason he didn't want Zeller and his Nazi friends at the party. How dare he pass judgement when he'd never even served under the flag. "What happened then?"

"I should have kept walking…I'm so sorry, Captain…" Maria apologised, embarrassed that not only had she found herself in the ballroom, but she'd also addressed one of his guests directly. It might not have been so bad if Herr Zeller had spoken to her first. "I'm sorry, I couldn't help myself…it just came out…" she apologised again, knowing full well that she'd overstepped her position by daring to speak to one of the guests. Even if it was a guest the Captain clearly didn't approve of. "But, how dare anyone say such a thing in your home?" her voice was growing more determined as she remembered the disrespect this smug little man had shown towards the Captain.

"What did you say to him, Fraulein?" Georg asked.

"Well, I turned around and pointed out that we're all Austrians, so of course we should proudly display the Austrian flag," she quickly looked at the fire, mortified at having been so outspoken. "I'm sorry…" she turned back to him as she started mumbling another apology, but stopped suddenly.

At first it was a low rumble, but as Georg pictured Maria dressing down Zeller in front of his cronies and the other guests, he was soon roaring with laughter. He could imagine Zeller's shock at being put in his place by Maria!

"Fraulein, I wish I was there to see his face!" Georg wiped his eyes with the back of his hand as he tried to control his laughter. "You certainly didn't make things any worse. I told him the same thing myself later in the evening."

"Really?" Maria only just realised she'd been smiling at the Captain. It was always nice to hear him laughing. He looked so different without his serious, stern mask. She was pleased to see that he was still relaxed after the children's call, despite the dark cloud of the Anschluss that rolled in with Herr Zeller's earlier call.

Finally pulling himself together, Georg was serious again. "He accused me of being an ostrich and burying my head in the flag," he explained.

"Oh…?" Maria replied.

"It was after the children had sung. You were upstairs, erhm, changing for dinner…" he reached over and squeezed her hand at the uncomfortable image of Maria in her bedroom being confronted by Elsa. "He made a comment about the children and their singing. I wasn't going to stand for it. Not from him. Not the children. So, in front of other guests, I as good as accused him of being a traitor."

Georg reached up and brushed a stray lock from Maria's face. "I wish so many things had been different that night…" he whispered, knowing that given half a chance there was so much he would change. Not just from that night.

"We both do, Captain. But, we can't go back and change anything," Maria replied simply. "If I could, I would have just left it at that and walked away from Herr Zeller and his friend…" Maria's eyes dropped to her lap.

"What? There's more?" Georg asked. "Damn Zeller! I should have known he'd try to have the last word."

"He's a horrible, nasty man…" Maria said quietly.

"What did he say to you, Fraulein?" Georg asked, feeling himself tighten at the words Maria was using to describe him. Something bad had obviously happened between them.

"He told me that Captain von Trapp needs to realise that we can't keep living in the past," she told him, still looking down as she started wringing her hands in her lap. "I told him that you were a brave man and risked your life for our country. That gave you every right to fly the Austrian flag." Maria quickly looked up. "I'm so sorry, Captain," she added softly.

"You did nothing wrong, Maria," Georg told her. "Thank you for standing up to him," he added quietly. "I'm impressed."

"That wasn't the end of it, though…" Maria continued as she pulled the lapels of her dressing gown together and shivered remembering the rest of their encounter.

"Are you cold, Maria," Georg asked, suddenly concerned and reaching for the blanket that was still draped over the back of the sofa.

"No..." Maria shook her head. "I can still see that look in his eyes..." she whispered.

"His eyes…?" Georg questioned, leaving the blanket and turning his attention back to Maria. "What do you mean?"

"The way he looked me up and down," Maria answered. "It was horrible. Humiliating. He was leering at me and then made some comment to his friend about me being the governess..." she drifted off, unable to continue. Not wanting to repeat his words out loud. Not to the Captain.

"What did he say, Maria?" Georg's words were slow, deliberate as he reached down to still her hands.

"He…well, he…" Maria looked down at their hands. She closed her eyes, trying to shut out the image, knowing it was the only way she'd be able to continue. "Well, he asked whether it was only the children I was looking after…" Maria dropped her voice to barely a whisper as she blushed furiously. "That disgusting man asked if I was taking care of their father as well…"

"What?! Damn that Nazi!" Georg raised his voice as he let go of Maria's hand and stood up. "Why are you just telling me this now?" he demanded as he spun around to face her.

"Because I didn't want to create a scene," Maria replied quietly with a shrug. At the time, she'd been worried about the Baroness finding out that she'd spoken to one of the guests. She could picture her reaction. Knowing how much the Captain disliked the Nazis, she imagined he'd be angry with Herr Zeller. But she hadn't imagined he'd be this angry. Even now. As she watched him pacing across the front of the fireplace, she was thankful he hadn't found out the night of the party.

"How dare he speak to you that way? Who does he think he is? Behaving like that in my home…" Georg stopped pacing and was now flexing the fingers on both hands, trying to burn off the anger. "I didn't even want that traitor in my home," he growled as he stepped towards the fireplace and gave one of the blackening logs that had rolled to the front of the hearth a frustrated kick towards the seat of the fire. "Why the hell did Elsa invite him? She knew my feelings," he cursed at the fire before turning back to Maria. "I told her that Agathe wouldn't want him in the house or anywhere near children. Not someone like him."

"Please don't be angry on my account, Captain," Maria pleaded. "Especially not now. We need to think of the children. I did my best to ignore him. I just told myself to walk away with my head held high. He was horrible, vile..."

"I'm so sorry, I had no idea," Georg shook his head as he turned back to the fire. Bending down, he angrily threw several more logs on the fire, sending a shower of sparks flying up the chimney.

"I wouldn't have stood for it. I would have thrown him out myself," he muttered, almost to himself. Turning back to Maria, he crouched down in front of where she was sitting on the sofa. "You should have let me know, Fraulein," he told her, gently placing a hand on her leg. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"To be honest, Captain, I'd forgotten all about that evil little man until now…" she smiled thinly at him as he frowned at her. His look told her that he didn't believe she could brush off her encounter with Herr Zeller so easily. "Honestly, I just wanted to get out of the ballroom as fast as I could. I found myself in the courtyard, which happened to be where the children were. They were watching the guests dancing." Unable to withstand his gaze any longer, Maria's eyes shifted away from his to somewhere over his left shoulder. "Before I could even think about it, well…you arrived in the courtyard a few minutes later, and, well…" words escaped her as she looked back at him, her breath catching.

"Oh, Fraulein…" he whispered as he ran the back of his finger down her cheek and watched her close her eyes. "I wish I could undo so many things that happened during the party…"

"Promise me you won't do anything…" Maria's eyes shot open as she pleaded with him. She was finding it a little difficult to concentrate with him kneeling in front of her, but the Captain's reaction had worried her.

"Anything…?" Georg asked. "What do you mean?"

"Herr Zeller. Don't do anything. He's not worth it," Maria could see he was holding his jaw tight. He was still angry.

"I know what I'd like to do," Georg replied sharply. "But you're right," he softened his tone as he tried to dispel some of Maria's concerns. "I didn't like the tone of his call." He still found it troubling that Zeller knew he'd been asked by Germany to join their navy.

"Think of the children," Maria said softly, thankful that he seemed to be calming down and seeing things sensibly.

"Honestly, I haven't been able to think of much else," he shrugged. "As much as we miss them, at least while they're in Trieste with Agathe's mother, they're safe," he smiled reassuringly as he stood up and took his seat beside her on the sofa. "I hate them being so far away. But the Nazis can't touch them in Italy," he instinctively took hold of Maria's hand, as much for his own comfort.

For a while, they sat in a comfortable silence, staring into the fire as it crackled and sparked in front of them. The logs that had been thrown roughly on the glowing coals were slowly taking hold.

"What are you thinking about, Fraulein?" Georg eventually asked as he turned toward her.

"The children," she replied, her body aching just to hold them. "I dread to think of them ever being in danger," she shivered as she thought of Herr Zeller and the pure evil of it all. Innocent children. It was unthinkable. Lifting her legs up onto the sofa beside her, she pulled the blanket over her and turned to the Captain. "You?"

"Same. The children," he answered. Truth was, his mind had been racing, thinking of how he could keep them safe. He'd been quickly working through the options, eliminating and reworking them, trying to come up with a strategy to protect them from men who wouldn't think twice about using his children against him. They were madmen who, in the end, would do anything to force him to take up a commission with the German's. As he'd sat there staring into the fire, there'd been one plan he kept coming back to. It was the only one that made any sense. "But I'm also thinking about you, Fraulein," he added softly, turning to her.

"Me…?" she asked, turning to him in surprise.

"Yes, you," he looking at her. "I'm thinking about you returning to the Abbey." The children were inconsolable when Maria suddenly left the night of the party. He wasn't sure it was going to be any easier for them this time. Especially if he had to follow through with the sketchy plan he'd just started piecing together. "You'll be missed…" he added quietly, knowing only too well the children were going to miss her terribly. But that would be nothing compared to him.

"Yes, well…um, about that…" Maria blushed at her mumbled response. She knew how badly she needed to tell the Captain the truth. She owed him that much. Even if it did mean admitting that she really had no idea about her future once she left the villa next week.

"You are returning to the Abbey, aren't you, Fraulein?" the evasive response hadn't been lost on him. Searching her face for clues, he could feel a faint glimmer of hope. His heart was starting to beat a little faster as he held his breath, waiting for her reply. It felt like his world had suddenly stopped.

"I will return to the Abbey…" Maria answered slowly, not wanting him to think that she'd been less than truthful. Oh dear, she couldn't' bear to look at him, but she had to force herself to hold his gaze. "It will only be to tell the Reverend Mother that I won't be continuing my vocation…" she added quickly in a quiet voice.

"What?!" Georg shifted himself on the sofa to face Maria. His heart was beating so fast, it felt like it was going to escape from his chest. "When did you decide that?"

"The night of the party. After I left the villa," she replied, lowering her eyes. "It took me a night alone in the dark to realise what I think everyone already knew," she added sadly.

"Are you certain?" As much as his mind was racing at the possibilities, as much as he wanted to shout for joy, Georg needed Maria to be sure. He needed to know that it wasn't a decision made impulsively, in amongst a muddle of emotions. She couldn't look back and regret this. "But, it's been your dream for so long."

She nodded slowly at him. "I'm certain." She tried to sound determined, but her voice wavered as her eyes brimmed with tears. It was the fear of the unknown. The fear of realising that for so long she'd never had any other plan. She'd wanted to become a nun for as long as she could remember.

"Oh, Fraulein, come here," Georg reached out and wrapped an arm around her as he pulled her against him. Cradling her head against him, he whispered soothing words against her hair. As much as he knew she'd made the right decision, as excited as he was by the news, he hated seeing so much sadness in her eyes. It was only expected that she would be feeling disappointed and mourning the loss of her dream. He imagined that she would be fearful of the future.

But it presented possibilities. Possibilities that he'd only imagined. _Oh God, he could barely think straight._

Maria wiped her eyes dry with the Captain's handkerchief that she'd almost forgotten she still had in her hand. But strangely, no more tears came. Leaning against the Captain, clinging to his shirt with her head against his chest, she felt safe. As long as she was wrapped in his arms, his muscle and warmth, she didn't have to think about the rest of the world. Not tonight anyway. She didn't have to worry about how she was going to survive on her own.

"What do you plan to do?" Georg eventually asked, still holding her to him. It was the question he was dreading to ask, but he needed to know the answer.

Maria took a deep breath, wishing the Captain had asked her any other question but that one. "I don't know…" she eventually answered in a quiet voice.

"You don't know?" he asked as he pulled back and looked down at her, running his thumb along her jawline.

"I don't know," she repeated, looking up at him, her eyes wide with fear. "I don't…I haven't thought that far…"

"Marry me," the words tumbled out before Georg had even stopped to think. Before he even realised. Before he could even try to stop them.

"What…?!" Maria pulled away from him, looking at him, totally confused.

"Marry me, Maria," he asked her again. "Please…"

"You can't be serious," Maria answered him with a frown.

"I've never been more serious," he cupped her cheek in his palm like she was the most precious thing in the world. Now that he knew she wasn't going back to the Abbey, he was forming a clear picture of all their futures. "Right at this minute, it's the only thing that makes sense to me."

"But it makes no sense," Maria looked at him like he'd gone completely mad. "I can't…"

"Ssshhh…" he whispered as he placed a finger on her lips. It was the gentlest of touches, but his breath caught anyway. Her lips were so soft. As he gazed down, he longed to kiss them. As memories flooded back of holding her in his arms with the last strains of the Laendler disappearing into the distance with everything else, he needed to concentrate. That would have to wait.

"Don't answer me just yet. Let me tell you why it makes perfect sense," he gave her a half-grin. "The children adore you. They love you. And I know how much you love them. After all, isn't that why you came back?"

"Well, I realised I couldn't say goodbye in a note…" Maria looked away. "The children deserved so much better than that…" she added quietly, still embarrassed at how her only thought that night had been to put as much distance between her and the Captain. To save him from any more embarrassment. And, of course, she'd needed to escape the Baroness' judging looks and humiliating accusations. All of which, she knew she'd deserved.

"Maria, the children already think of you as their mother," Georg continued, certain he could convince her. "You heard how excited they were on the telephone. Why, they wanted to talk to you more than me."

"But I don't know anything about the world you live in…" Maria argued, trying to make him see sense. "Being their governess is one thing. Being their mother…" she looked away for a moment. "Being your…well, that's something completely different."

"I know the children won't see it any differently," Georg told her. "It makes perfect sense."

"But we can't be married," she continued. Why didn't he see how ridiculous it was?

"Maria, I've already told you, I love you. Nothing else matters…" Georg whispered. Why was she denying what he knew she felt?

"But you can't have someone like me in your family," Maria whispered.

"Someone like you?" Georg frowned. "What is that supposed to mean?"

"I never finished telling you…I've only told you part of my story…" Maria said softly. Deep down, she'd known that she would have to tell him everything. Eventually. It was better he heard it from her now. She couldn't bear the guilt of not telling him, only to have it come out sometime in the future. The scandal would damage everyone. But worse than that, it would be far too late to undo things. "I need to tell you the rest…"

"Maria, only tell me if you feel up to it," he looked at her with concern. "I promise, it won't change anything. A lot has happened this evening already. I won't have you tiring yourself out," he traced her jawline with the back of his forefinger. "You can tell me tomorrow."

"I need to tell you…" Maria whispered.

"You know I love you, Fraulein," he bent down and kissed her forehead. "Nothing will ever change that…" he added.

Maria took in a deep breath, preparing herself to tell the Captain something she'd never shared with anyone. But it was something he needed to know.

"Tell me only if you want to, Maria," he could see her doing battle with herself. "But remember, I'm the last person who's going to judge you," he added.

"Remember I told you about my uncle?" Maria began slowly and watched the Captain nodding. She couldn't miss his jaw tightening at the mention of the man who, far from being her guardian, had been her tormenter instead. "He despised me. I was no more than a nuisance he didn't need or want…" she dropped her eyes.

"You don't need to continue if it's too difficult," Georg whispered.

"I need to…" Maria looked up at him to find his eyes filled with compassion and reassurance. Somehow, it helped her find the strength to continue. "I told you that he…that he… abandoned me?" It was so hard to admit out loud that even her own family didn't want her.

Georg tightened his grip around her and nodded. Trying to control his rage, he knew that if Maria's uncle wasn't already dead, he'd find the monster and deal with him personally. He clenched his jaw at the thought.

"It was late at night, he'd been out drinking and came home. He took me across the Salzach, near St. Johann's hospital…" Maria began in a soft voice.

"Oh, Maria…" Georg whispered, knowing only too well how seedy and rough that part of the city was. With the army barracks not far away and inns on every block, it attracted undesirables and all kind of questionable activities. Especially at night.

"He kept telling me he was going to do what he should have done in the beginning. I was hysterical. I was barely Marta's age. I had no idea where he was taking me, or what he was going to do…" she swallowed back the tears as she recalled the terror of that night, as if it was only yesterday. She could still smell the alcohol on his breath, the stale cigarettes in his coat. "In the end, he had to carry me…"

"Fraulein, you don't need to tell me anymore…" Georg whispered, reaching for her hand. He could see how difficult this was for her. Churning up these painful memories wasn't necessary.

"I want to…I need to," she told him, biting back her tears. She was determined not to shed any more tears for what her uncle had done to her. There'd already been too many. "After what seemed like forever, he carried me up a dark laneway. It was pitch dark. There weren't any street lights…"

Maria pulled the blanket closer around her, remembering the black, cold night. Taking a deep breath, she forced herself to continue. "Suddenly, he came to a stop and just dropped me on the cobblestones, telling me…he told me…" she could barely say the words, it was so humiliating. "He was laughing…he told me, that he should have taken the garbage out long ago…" Feeling ashamed, she looked down at her lap, watching the Captain take his hand off hers. It had already begun. He was already seeing her differently. She knew he would. But he needed to know.

"Maria…" it was a hoarse whisper, almost a strangled sound that he didn't recognise as his own voice, as he wrapped his arms around her and pulled her onto his lap. Closing his eyes, he buried his cheek against her hair, trying to control his rage. He couldn't imagine anyone treating a small child that way. The fact that it was Maria, only made it worse. He knew then that if the monster was still alive, he would kill him with his bare hands.

"I lay there sobbing, hoping someone would come for me. I prayed. I begged for someone to come. But no one did…" she whispered against the Captain's chest. Clinging to his shirt, she felt his arms tightening around her. Somehow, it was easier to tell him without seeing the hurt and anger in his eyes. The pity. "Finally, the tears stopped. I huddled there in the lane listening to men yelling and fighting in the nearby streets. Sometimes, there would be someone, a woman, screaming in the distance. And the rats…" she shivered at the memory. "I can still hear them scurrying around me as I huddled on the cold stones..."

"Who found you?" he asked gently, still holding her to him, as he gently ran his hand up and down her back, soothingly.

"As dawn was breaking, two women found me," she whispered against him. "I thought they were nurses at the hospital. It was only much later, when I was older, that I realised that they were on their way home from…well, from _work_ …" she added quietly.

"Oh, I see," Georg knew what she meant. The area was notorious for women making a living from the men at the barracks. It had been the same with his crews whenever they docked in any of the ports. Desperate women with little other choice. "What did they do when they found you?" he asked, kissing the top of her head.

"They took me home with them, to a tiny bedsit they shared," Maria continued in a tiny voice against the Captain's chest. "I wasn't well after a night on the cold cobblestones. My uncle barely looked after me. There was never enough food, so I was already half-starved."

"What did the women do?" Georg asked tentatively, thankful that the women had taken Maria in.

"They were going to take me to St. Johann's, to their orphanage," she told him. "But they took pity on me when they saw the bruises. They were kind to me, they looked after me. I stayed with them until I was better. I guess they figured I wouldn't eat too much. They would look after me during the day, and then I'd be alone at night."

"What happened when you were better?" Georg asked.

"They eventually took me to the orphanage," she pulled away from him and looked up at him. "In a way, I'm glad they waited until I was stronger. It was a harsh place. I don't know if I would have survived it."

"Fraulein, I'm so sorry. I can't even imagine…" Georg wished he could take away the memories. The pain.

"I was lucky at the orphanage. I didn't have to stay too long when they realised I could read and write. Most of the girls couldn't. They didn't know their parents, they never had anyone care for them. I realised how lucky I'd been, no matter how difficult things became after my parents passed away…" she drifted off, recalling happier times with her parents in the Alps. "I was sent to boarding school. It was much better than the orphanage. Then, you know the rest. I found myself at teacher's college in Vienna. When I returned to Salzburg, I found my way to Nonnberg."

"But Maria, I don't understand," Georg cupped her cheek and ran his thumb along her jawline. "What makes you think you can't marry me?"

"Can you imagine the scandal someone with my past would create for you and the children," Maria frowned at him, wondering why he couldn't see what was so obvious to her.

"You were a child, it's not like you had any say in what happened to you," Georg answered her. "It doesn't change anything. I don't care what other people think."

"You can't say that!" Maria shot at him. "All those evenings over summer, I heard Herr Detweiler and Baroness Schraeder. It was a big enough scandal if a poor girl had been sent to the wrong finishing school! Imagine if anyone found out I was abandoned on the streets by my own uncle, and cared for by women with chequered careers. It's bad enough that I spent time in an orphanage and was going to be a nun. I can hear them now."

"They don't need to know," Georg tried to reason with her.

"But what if they find out?" Maria threw back at him. "Herr Zeller was already making crude comments about us…imagine…" she shuddered at the thought, the scandal would involve not just them, but also the children.

"Maria, honestly, I don't care what bored socialites talk about," Georg repeated himself, regretting that he hadn't put an end to Elsa and Max's never ending gossiping. Maria was right. They were like vultures descending on the most ridiculous, insignificant things, taking great delight in blowing them up into some God almighty scandal. "I've never understood the need to dissect other people's lives to feel better about my own."

"I know, Captain. I noticed you never involved yourself in their talk." In fact, Maria had always thought that he'd looked a little uncomfortable. What she'd always found worse was that these were people's most private matters, people who were supposed to be friends and acquaintances. She could imagine how cruel they would be discussing her. "No matter what you say, there will be plenty of people lining up to happily tear down someone who married above her station."

"Is that how you see it?" Maria's words stung Georg. Couldn't she understand that he needed her? Especially now.

"Baroness Schraeder reminded me as much the night of the party," she told him sadly. "Imagine if she knew everything about me. She wouldn't have let me anywhere near the children."

"Maria, you need to forget about everyone else. Everything else. I know you feel something for me," Georg stated it simply. Like it was a fact. Indisputable.

"What makes you so sure you know how I feel?" Maria raised her voice defensively. Had she really been that obvious? Was the Baroness right? Had the Captain realised that she'd fallen in love with him over the summer? "You know nothing about how I feel," her eyes flared at him defiantly.

"On the night of the party. When we danced…" he watched Maria's face redden at the memory. It hadn't just been him. They'd both lost themselves in each other. Something that had been simmering away all summer suddenly burst into life, consuming them both in the courtyard. "You felt something, I know you did…"

"It was just the excitement of the party," Maria offered lamely. "I told you, I wasn't used to dancing…"

"Ma-r-ia…" her name slowly rolled off his tongue. "It wasn't just the party. You and I both know there was something between us long before then. It wasn't my imagination," he brushed a stray lock from her face. "It wasn't just me…"

"Something between us…?" Maria whispered, mortified that the Captain had picked up on her feelings for him weeks ago. The Baroness' words were ringing in her ears. "I don't know what you mean…" she replied warily.

"You know exactly what I mean," Georg smiled at her. "We both felt it long ago. There was something. I can understand that you're not sure exactly what, or how, but it's something. You still feel it. I know I do."

"Captain, you're not making any sense," Maria blushed and looked away. Couldn't he just let it be?

"Maria, let me help you," Georg caught her chin between his thumb and forefinger, gently turning her face back to him, forcing her to look at him.

"Neither of us can _fix on the hour, or the spot, or the look, or the words, which laid the foundation_ ," he smiled as he gazed at her, watching her eyes grow wider. "It's not just me. Both of us were hopelessly _in the middle before we knew it had begun_."

 **Thank you everyone for continuing to read and review.**

 **Apologies for this ridiculously long chapter and leaving it were I did, but I had to break it somewhere…**

 **Please check out Radiohead's "There There" on YouTube. There's a gorgeous acoustic version, which is even better than the studio version.**

 **I don't own TSOM, continuing to have a lend. Sincere apologies to Jane Austen for mangling her beautiful words.**

 **"** **Immerse your soul in love"**


	17. Chapter 17

**I might be wrong  
I might be wrong  
I could have sworn  
I saw a light coming on**

 **I used to think**  
 **I used to think**  
 **There is no future left at all**  
 **I used to think**

 **Open up, begin again**  
 **Let's go down the waterfall**  
 **Think about the good times**  
 **And never look back**  
 **Never look back**

 **What would I do?**  
 **What would I do?**  
 **If I did not have you?**

 **Open up, let me in  
Let's go down the waterfall…**

 **(The waves go out, come in again)**

 **"** **I Might Be Wrong" Radiohead "Amnesiac" (2001)**

"I thought that was a dream," it was barely a whisper.

"A dream…?" Georg cocked his head to the side, confused. What _was_ Maria talking about?

"You…" Maria answered in a quiet voice, her eyes wide as the Captain still held her chin between his thumb and forefinger. "I thought I dreamed that you were reading to me."

"Well, Fraulein, I must admit, I never dreamed I'd be reading Jane Austen," he gave her a lopsided grin as he cupped her cheek. "Though, I must say, it was rather enlightening…" he added softly.

"Oh…?" Maria blushed. _Heaven help her, it seems he'd discovered her secret_.

"Yes. As I recall, there was some poor couple at a ball. They were doing everything they could to deny their feelings for each other," he whispered as he ran the back of his hand down her flushed cheek. He'd been comforting her as she'd told him of her uncle and she was still sitting on his lap. He squeezed her shoulder as he held onto her.

Maria tried to look away, but she couldn't. There was something in the Captain's eyes that was forcing her to look at him. His words were swimming around in her head. Both of them, hopelessly in the middle. Before they even knew it had begun. _Both of them_. Those precious words that she'd held so close to her heart, that had brought her comfort those long, summer nights. How was she going to explain them away?

"Hmmm, seems they'd tried desperately to hide their feelings for some time…" Georg interrupted Maria's jumbled thoughts as he reached up and tugged nervously at his ear.

Somehow, Maria found it easier that he wasn't talking about them. That he was simply discussing a book that happened to catch both their interest. A story about a fictional young woman, little more than a commoner, attending the same ball as one of the district's most eligible men. A wealthy aristocrat.

Maria tried to think clearly, but her mind found itself at a faraway mansion called Netherfield Park. A ball. It all came flooding back to her. Heated, desperate looks. A shared dance. Terrible misunderstandings. Heartache and pain. All in the opulent surrounds of the gilded ballroom to the strains of Strauss.

Dropping her eyes, she tried desperately to come up with a clever response. _Liesl had borrowed her book, you know how silly and romantic teenage girls can be._ It was partly true. _The words didn't mean anything, she'd marked them for no real reason._ But how could she try to deny them when they'd grown to mean everything? Perhaps she could think of something, anything, to say if it _was_ just a story from the pages of her treasured edition of Pride and Prejudice, the one she'd chosen with the Captain's encouragement. A small token of his thanks. One of her few meagre possessions, but the one she'd quickly grown to cherish more than anything.

She wasn't sure if it was how she came to own the book that made it so special. A trip to town with just the Captain and the children one sunny afternoon. Perhaps it was because it was a symbol of the Captain's appreciation. A symbol of the relationship they'd forged over the summer. But, whatever the reason, from the moment she started turning the pages, she'd imagined her very own Mr Darcy. Dark and brooding. All sharp edges and cool confidence. And yet, just beneath the surface, there was a warmth and depth that fascinated her. Intrigued her more than anything.

But her Mr Darcy was different. When she read the book or closed her eyes, she never imagined the breeches, cravat and windswept mass of dark curls Jane Austen wrote about. Instead, her Mr Darcy wore dark, tailored suits and perfectly straight ties. His dark, smooth hair always swept frustratingly back, immaculately in place. She relied on her imagination to picture her Mr Darcy in his unruly and windswept state.

Maria thought it had been her own little secret. She'd tried so hard to keep it close to her heart, desperately locked away in the pages of her book, sure that no one else would ever find out. But the Baroness had guessed the truth. Now it seems, the Captain knew the truth. It wasn't her secret any longer. And she knew that look in the Captain's eyes. He wasn't going to let this go. Oh dear, how was she going to unravel this…

"Erh, I hope you don't mind, Maria," Georg's words were softly spoken, but pierced the heavy silence between them as he tried to explain. "I found that passage, the one that was marked...the one that you'd marked…" The look on her face betrayed that she'd been exposed. He'd stumbled across something that was obviously very personal to her. It really had felt like reading someone else's diary or private journal. Needing to apologise, he lifted his hand and tugged at his ear, trying to find the words. "I'm sorry. The words were, well, so…erhm, well, I read them before I even realised," he stumbled over his words.

"Oh…" was all Maria could muster from her muddled thoughts. Finding herself surrounded by the Captain's silky baritone, his awkward apology, she couldn't even piece together a sensible answer. "I can explain that…it's not what you think…" she offered lamely, but stopped as she felt him stilling her hands in her lap.

"Maria, can I say something first?" he asked, watching her continue an adorable battle with herself. He understood. He'd spent the whole summer doing the same thing. Pretending. Hiding. Denying. Taking a deep breath, he told himself it was time to stop dancing around their feelings.

Only able to manage the tiniest nod, Maria was still struggling under the spell of the Captain's look. Happy for him to continue, she hoped it might give her time to try to think of something to say. Something remotely sensible. She prayed she could manage that.

"Maria, remember I told you how I felt when we danced?" Georg watched her nod her head slowly. "You had me completely rattled. In the courtyard, it suddenly hit me. By the time we'd stopped turning, I realised I couldn't keep denying what had been happening over the summer," he ran his finger down her cheek. "I'd fallen hopelessly in love with you…" he added. "Heaven help me, I nearly kissed you in front of the children… and Elsa…" he whispered as he watched her blush.

"I waited for you to join us for dinner. When you didn't appear, I couldn't think of anything else, except where you might be," he continued. "The last thing I wanted was to sit in a room full of guests. I just wanted them gone. All I wanted was to go upstairs and find you…" he looked down at their hands in her lap, ashamed that he hadn't done more. "I had no idea you'd left…" he added quietly.

"You weren't to blame, Captain," Maria told him gently. "I was the one who ran…"

"Still, I should have searched for you," Georg looked back up, catching her eyes. "The thought of you alone in the dark, the rain…I'll never forgive myself, Maria," he pulled her against his chest and kissed her forehead.

"Especially not after what you've just told me about your uncle. I'm so sorry…" he whispered into her hair. "By the time I was able to get away and go upstairs to find you, Franz handed me your note. Hours had passed. I'd assumed you would have made it back at the Abbey by then. I should have gone looking for you. Please, forgive me…" he wrapped his arms tighter around her. "I'm so sorry…"

"I'm here now…" Maria whispered against him. "That's all that matters…" As he ran his hand through her hair, Maria closed her eyes knowing she'd never felt safer, more protected, than she did in the strong arms of the Captain. Waiting for the bus alone in the dark, terrifying memories from her childhood had somehow started creeping back to the surface. She thought she'd buried them, it had been so long since they'd haunted her.

"Maria, when I read your note, I didn't know what to do…I had a villa full of guests…Finally, after what seemed like hours, they left. I'd already decided to go to the Abbey in the morning," Georg continued. "I couldn't sleep. I could barely think. I'd just found you, only to lose you in the same instant…it was devastating. I spent the early hours of the morning out on the terrace. I didn't even imagine you were just down the road. That we were both watching the same sunrise. Oh, Maria, if only I'd known…"

Georg tightened his arms around her. Resting his cheek against her hair, he relished the feel of her against him. He knew how close he'd come to losing her. And not just to the Abbey. Drawing in a deep breath, he closed his eyes, enjoying the comfort of her familiar, sweet scent.

"I didn't know how I was going to break the news to the children…" he finally continued, his voice heavy with emotion, a little unsteady.

"I'm sorry. It was wrong of me to make you do that…" Maria interrupted him as she pulled away and looked at him. "I realised I had to say goodbye to the children properly."

"If you hadn't come back, I was going to the Abbey after breakfast, after the children had settled a little. They were heartbroken…" he told her. "They love you so much, Maria. There were so many tears when I broke the news."

Georg watched as Maria closed her eyes. It wasn't long before a tear spilled out, forcing its way over the lash resting on the top of her cheek. Reaching up with his thumb, he gently stopped it in its track as it weaved a damp trail down her cheek. "Please don't shed any tears, Maria," he whispered, watching her watery eyes blink open. "You returned," he gave her a half grin. "Like you said, that's all that matters…"

Maria nodded as she reached up wiping her eyes dry and blowing her nose with the Captain's handkerchief. The children had been through so much. When she met them, they were still feeling the terrible loss of their mother. Then there was the hurt and confusion of their father's indifference. Unable to cope, he'd abandoned them for his grief and pain.

She knew how close she and the children had become over the summer. She'd been more than just their governess. She knew that. The last thing they deserved was losing someone else they'd come to love and trust. Running away the night of the party would be something she would always regret, she thought sadly.

"Maria, I'd already decided to end things with Elsa," Georg cupped her cheek. "I'd fallen in love with you. How could I marry anyone else?" He bent down to kiss her forehead. But, he couldn't pull himself away. Closing his eyes, he pressed his lips to her forehead, kissing her again.

"When you returned, it was like being given a second chance. I didn't deserve one, but I knew, I couldn't let you leave us again," Georg took hold of her hand. "When you fainted on the terrace, when you took ill…Maria, I'd already lost Agathe…I was so scared I was going to lose you…"

"Oh, Captain," Maria whispered, she could see the sadness and fear in his eyes. "You stayed with me, didn't you…?"

"I couldn't leave you…" he said it softly, barely loud enough for either of them to hear, as he looked down.

Maria reached up and cupped his cheek, the stubble feeling unusually rough under the soft palm of her hand. He was still looking down, but lifted his eyes to meet hers as he felt her touch. "I thought I must have been dreaming…I told myself it was just the fever…" Maria whispered as she ran her thumb across his jawline and slowly back again, his stubble making a strange scratchy sound.

"Maria…" Georg murmured as he closed his eyes and concentrated on the sensation of her hand on his skin, her thumb dragging back and forth. Opening his eyes, he took hold of her hand. Squeezing it tight, he brought it up to his lips.

"Don't leave again…please" he pleaded, fearful of what would happen to them, to him, if she did. "Don't leave because of what people might say or think. Let them say what they want, I don't care. You're all I care about. You and the children. You're all that's important."

"But what about the children? People can be so cruel…" Maria reminded him. "They don't realise the impact of their careless words. I don't want that hurting the children."

"If the Anschluss happens, and it probably will, there will be a lot more for people to worry about than you and I," Georg answered her.

"You say that now," Maria told him. "But what happens when the gossip turns spiteful and vicious?"

"Do you love the children, Maria?" Georg asked simply.

"With all my heart," she whispered. "I miss them so much, I'm aching just to hold them again."

Georg ran the back of his finger down her cheek. "I adore you so much. You loved the children when I couldn't…"

"They made it so easy for me to love them," she smiled at him. Her and the children had been kindred spirits. When she'd arrived, her and the children, they all just needed someone to love them. Desperate for that feeling of belonging.

"You love the children, Maria," Georg stated quietly, watching her nod in agreement. "Is there room in your heart for me? Is it possible for you to love me too?" he asked, waiting anxiously for her response.

"Captain, I tried so hard not to…" Maria whispered. Seeing a flash of hope in his eyes, she brought her hand back up to his cheek. "I was here to look after the children, remember? I believe those were my orders." Noticing a tiny smile tugging at his lips, she decided to tease him a little. "My orders certainly didn't include falling in love with the children's father."

"But we both know how much trouble you have following the most basic of instructions," he joined in her teasing. "Did you manage to stick to your orders, Fraulein?" He arched his brow at her.

"Not very well…" Maria's face broke out into a smile. "You made it impossible…" she whispered. "I tried to avoid you…"

"Hmmm, a useless tactic," Georg chuckled. "That was never going to work. I'm embarrassed to admit that I started following you," he answered her questioning look.

"Oh?!" Maria responded.

"I believe it may have been two weeks into my return from Vienna," he continued. "I started using this study again. I realised how much I missed the children. Well, that's what I told myself," he shrugged. "It's true that I wanted to be closer to the children," he smiled. "And you. I quickly realised, it was mostly you," he was suddenly serious.

Lowering her eyes, Maria realised her hand was still on the Captain's cheek. Fascinated by the feel of his skin under her palm, her eyes followed the path of her hand as it gently, slowly tracked upwards from his cheek. Feeling bolder, her fingers were slowly, deliberately tracing a path towards the hair hugging his temple. She watched, spellbound, as he closed his eyes and leant into her hand. "I would try to stop my eyes catching yours…" she whispered as her fingers gently, deliberately, combed through the hair just beyond his temple, her palm still holding his cheek.

"Hmmm…?" was all Georg could manage as the air around them grew heavy.

"Sometimes, when we looked at each other, I couldn't think. I couldn't speak…" Maria murmured as her fingers slowly raked back and forth.

"Maria…" Georg's voice was barely a rasp as he fell under the spell of her finger's innocent exploration. He shivered at the touch of her fingertips against his scalp. _God, did she have any idea what she was doing to him?_

"I could barely breathe…" Maria whispered.

Georg's eyes were still closed, as he tried to ignore the effect Maria was having on him. But the sensation of Maria's breath on his skin, her words, her touch, were mesmerising, threatening to bring him undone.

"Whenever I caught sight of you, my heart would skip a beat…" she continued in a soft voice.

"I…I had the same problem, Maria," he opened his eyes. "I still do…" he sighed.

"I knew it wasn't right. I tried so hard to bury my feelings," Maria's hand moved down to hold onto his shoulder, to steady herself.

"I know, Maria, I tried to do the same," Georg told her.

"I thought I could keep my feelings hidden…" realising how obvious she'd been, Maria could feel her cheeks redden. "Buried in the pages of my book. I thought I managed to do that…" she gave him a little look of defiance. "But, then…well, you made it impossible…I couldn't keep them to myself any longer…" she confessed with the tiniest shrug. "I tried…but, you asked me to dance," she added simply.

"Oh, Maria!" Georg reached up with both hands and gently cupped her cheeks. He glanced down at her lips, then back to her eyes. "I love you." Watching her eyes soften, he was distracted by the smile tugging at her lips.

Leaning forward, unable to hold himself back any longer, he bent down and gently caught her lips in his. He closed his eyes as he pressed his mouth tenderly against hers. Not wanting to hurry, taking his time, he committed their first kiss to memory. Maria's lips were soft. Unbelievably soft. Her hand had found its way to his hair. She made a tiny, muffled noise.

Determined to keep their first kiss chaste, innocent, he willed himself to pull back. But he'd couldn't let her go. Not so soon. His lips clung to hers, barely touching, but desperate to linger even just for a moment longer. He couldn't stop at just one kiss, so he pressed his lips to hers again. Pulling back, he heard her name. He wasn't even certain he'd said it out loud.

It took all his will power to open his eyes and sit back into the sofa. One of his hands moved to Maria's shoulder to steady her. The other was still cupping her cheek, but his thumb was now brushing her lips. She was staring at him, wide eyed. _God, she was beautiful._

Maria had dreamed of kissing the Captain before. She'd imagined what his lips would feel like on hers. But she'd never imagined, never realised, that they could feel so soft, so gentle. But at the same time, they'd been firm, urgent. As she felt the tender touch of his lips leave hers, her eyes fluttered open. Her breath caught when she saw the look in his dark eyes and then felt the tender pad of his thumb where his lips had just been, tracing her mouth. "Oh, my…" she mouthed absentmindedly.

"Maria…I need you…" Georg's plea was barely a whisper. "Marry me, please?"

"Yes…" It was the only word that came to mind. The only thought she was capable of. The only possible answer to his question.

Georg pulled Maria to him, tightening his arms around her. Feeling like his heart was going to burst, he kissed her hair, her forehead. He trailed kisses down her temple, across her cheekbone. "Oh, Maria…" he whispered. Retracing the path along her cheekbone with his mouth, he smiled as he drew her earlobe into his mouth, causing her to giggle and squirm in his lap. "Maria, I can't wait to discover all your little mysteries…" he breathed into the shell of her ear.

Maria was thankful for the Captain's strong arms holding onto her as his mouth teased and tickled her. She tried not to giggle. But she couldn't stop herself as he found her earlobe, nipping at the sensitive skin behind her ear. She'd never imagined how sensitive she'd be to his touch, that he could leave a trail of fire in his wake. His whispered words against her ear, sent a shudder all the way down her spine. His breath was hot and heavy. His voice deep and smooth. She knew right then and there that she would follow the Captain to the ends of the Earth and back if he asked her.

Feeling her shudder in his arms, Georg reminded himself that he needed to slow things down. Pulling back to look down at her, she opened her eyes questioningly. "Maria, you've made me the happiest man in the world," he smiled at her. It was a silly smile, but he didn't care.

"I love you, Captain," Maria whispered.

Hearing her words only made him smile more. It was ridiculous, how giddy he was with happiness. "Maria…" he said quietly, as he ran his forefinger down her cheek. "I adore the way you call me Captain, honestly I could listen to that word on your lips all day and night. But you need to start calling me by my name," he gave her a half smile.

Maria could feel her cheeks starting to burn. She'd only ever thought of the Captain as, well, _the_ Captain. Sometimes, when she was alone in her room, she'd allow herself to think of him as _her_ Captain. Determined to hold his encouraging gaze, she forced out her first nervous, tentative "Ge-org…"

Georg smiled and gently kissed her forehead. "I can't wait for the children to hear our news," he told her.

"I can barely remember my family…" Maria reflected quietly. "I can't wait to be part of your family…"

"Maria, you mean _our_ family," Georg pulled her to him. "You're already part of our family. You've been the most important member of the family for weeks," he added as he held her tightly.

"Oh, Georg…" Maria smiled as she whispered against him.

"Maria, you need to rest, you're still not well," he told her. "I'll help you back to your room."

"Can we stay here?" she asked, not wanting to leave the warmth of the fire, the comfort of his arms.

"Of course, if that's what you want," he said softly, rearranging the blanket around her. "Close your eyes, Fraulein. Try to get some sleep." He kissed the top of her head, watching Maria close her eyes. Smiling as he felt her burrow against him, he wondered how he got to be so lucky. He never deserved this second chance.

He'd never imagined that his summer dreams would come true, but here he was. Holding the woman he'd fallen in love with. The woman who'd just agreed to be his wife.

ooooXXXXoooo

It was cold. Desperately cold. Shivering, he clung to what was warm. There was something warm. His neck was stiff. Lifting his head slowly, reluctantly leaving the comfort and warmth beneath his cheek, he slowly opened his eyes. Forgetting about the biting cold in the air, he smiled as he looked down at the bundle in his arms.

In the soft light of the desk lamp, he could easily sit there on the sofa and watch Maria sleep in his arms for the rest of the night. Her lips were slightly parted, her breathing heavy as she slept soundly. She was still congested. Breathing through her mouth, she was making the most adorable sounds. Almost purring. He could watch her all night, wrapped in the blanket in his arms.

Pulling his eyes away from her, he looked up at the fireplace. It was black. The fire had burnt down completely. After all the telephone calls and excitement, Maria had quickly fallen asleep. He must have fallen asleep not long after. He'd tried to stay awake to work through his plans. Avoiding the German navy's commission was important, but there were more urgent matters to consider. His family's safety.

But that would have to wait.

Making sure his arm was under Maria's knees, he pushed himself up from the sofa. Standing, he looked down as she stirred in his arms. She mumbled something, he had no idea what, but it made him smile. Reaching up, she instinctively wound her arm around his neck and settled back against him.

Georg stepped around the sofa, leaving the desk lamp on, and made his way across the room to the door. Dipping the arm underneath her knees, he reached for the knob and pushed open the door. The villa was dark, except for the dim light along the upper hallway from the lamps on the side tables dotted against the wall. They were for the children, in case they woke in the night. He smiled, Frau Schmidt probably lit them out of habit.

As he made his way around the hallway, past the children's rooms, he glanced at the small clock on the side table. It was almost eleven. The air around the children's rooms seemed heavier, darker and strangely silent without them. Even for this time of night. Hurrying his pace, he wanted to get past reminders of the children being so far away. Perhaps it was the oppressive wave that was threatening to roll in. He knew it wouldn't be a question of if anymore.

Reaching the door to Maria's room, Georg opened the door and closed it behind them with his foot. He smiled. Frau Schmidt had turned on the bedside lamp and turned down the bed covers. Reaching the bed, he gently lowered Maria onto the mattress. Slowly removing his arm from under her neck, he watched as she settled back against the pillow. Turning his attention to her feet, he gently removed her slippers, placing them under her bed, out of the way.

Not wanting to wake her, he left her robe on and pulled the covers over her. Holding his breath, as he watched her stir.

"Captain…?" she mumbled.

"Ssshh…I'm here, Maria," he whispered, running his hand down her cheek.

"Stay," she whispered.

"I'm not leaving," he told her softly. Not now, not ever, he thought to himself. Satisfied, Maria smiled to herself and settled back into the pillow.

Frau Schmidt had left some extra blankets on the chair beside the bed. He grabbed one and spread it on top of the quilt. As he reached to turn off the lamp, Georg kicked off his shoes and put them under the bed next to Maria's slippers. Walking around the foot of the bed, he lifted the blanket and settled down on top of the quilt.

He smiled as Maria instinctively turned towards him, his arm finding its place under her as she rested her head against his shoulder. Wrapping his arms around her, he closed his eyes as he felt her burrow closer against him.

It had been so long since he'd felt this content…

ooooXXXXoooo

"Aahh! There you are," Georg smiled as Maria jumped a little at his words. He'd been looking for her and finally found her out on the back terrace. He should have known, he thought to himself.

"I know you told me to wait for you in the salon, Captain," Maria smiled up at him as he made his way across to the table. She watched him pull out the chair at the head of the table beside her. "I feel like I've been cooped up inside forever. And the morning is so perfect, I couldn't wait to come out and enjoy it."

"No need to explain, Fraulein," Georg smiled. After breakfast, he'd shut himself in the study to make some telephone calls and arrange some appointments in Salzburg. "I'm just relieved to see you're feeling so much better," he smiled. Reaching under the table, he found her leg and gave it a squeeze.

Maria looked across at him and smiled as her hand found his resting on her leg. Frau Schmidt had arrived at her bedroom before breakfast to find the Captain in the chair beside the bed, wrapped in a blanket. The house keeper had shooed him off to have his own shower while she ran a bath for Maria. Looking across the table to Georg, she wondered if she didn't prefer him looking a little less clean shaven, a little more unruly.

"Cup of tea, Captain?" Maria asked, nodding to a pot of tea stewing in the middle of the table. She'd already emptied her teacup and had been soaking in the warmth of the morning sun and fresh air when Georg startled her.

"No thanks, Frau Schmidt brought one to the study earlier," he told her. "Do you feel like a short walk?" he asked.

Seeing the look in his eyes, Maria nodded "I'd like that."

Standing up, he helped her to her feet as he pulled out her chair. With a hand on her lower back, he guided Maria down the steps to the lower terrace. "Just down here," he led her to one of the bench seats and watched her until she was seated in the sunshine.

As they woke in the early hours of the morning, they'd laid, huddled together, while Georg outlined what he'd roughly planned since Zeller's call. After breakfast, he'd retired to the study to start putting parts of the plan in motion. He'd made some progress, but there were some details he needed Maria's help to work out.

This morning, as the first soft signs of dawn broke through the cracks around the drapes, they'd agreed to keep their engagement secret. Just for the moment. Georg smiled to himself. It hadn't been hard to convince Maria. She'd happily told him that it would give her a chance to get used to whole idea herself. Himself, well, he just wanted to yell it out to all the world.

Taking a seat on the bench a safe and proper distance from Maria, he knew they couldn't take any chances. Glancing down at her hand resting on the bench between them, he wanted nothing more than to take it in his. But they had to be discrete. Not just with their engagement, but with all their plans from now on. While he hoped he could trust his staff, he knew they couldn't take any chances.

 **Thank you everyone for continuing to read and review. Special thanks to the guest reviewers, who I can't thank personally.**

 **Please check out "I Might Be Wrong" on YouTube. One of my favourite Radiohead songs, it has an amazing bluegrass loop and gorgeous lyrics.**

 **Unfortunately, I still don't own TSOM, just having a lend.**

 **I also don't own Pride and Prejudice, all Jane Austen's gorgeous work. And apologies everyone, but my Mr Darcy will always be Colin Firth...**

 **"Immerse your soul in love"**


	18. Chapter 18

**I will come for you at night time  
I will raise you from your sleep  
I will kiss you in four places  
As I go running along your street  
I will squeeze the life out of you  
You will make me laugh and make me cry  
We will never forget it  
You will make me call your name and I'll shout it to the blue summer sky…  
And you will throw your arms around me**

 **I dreamed of you at night time**  
 **And I watched you in your sleep**  
 **I met you in high places**  
 **I touched your head and touched your feet**  
 **So if you disappear out of view**  
 **You know, I will never say goodbye**  
 **We will never forget it**  
 **You will make me call your name and I'll shout it to the blue summer sky…**

 **And you will throw your arms around me**  
 **Yeah, you will throw your arms around me**

 **"** **Throw Your Arms Around Me" Hunters and Collectors, "Human Frailty" (1986)**

It was warm out near the landing. The sun had found a gap between the oak and willow trees, bathing Georg in bright sunshine as he held onto the iron gates. The late afternoon air was also heavy with humidity, adding to the heat. It was far too warm to be wearing a suit, but for the moment he just wanted to enjoy this perfect view of the lake and the mountains he loved so much. He'd stood here so often, he knew it so well, he could probably close his eyes and describe it in perfect detail.

Today, though, he felt like he needed to soak in every tiny detail. To look at it as if he was seeing it for the first time while he committed it to memory. All too soon, memories would be all he'd have.

Feeling the skin on his back starting to prickle from the heat, he took a few steps sideways into the shade. Looking out across the lake, he'd been watching the clouds building around the Alps in the distance. There would be storms tonight. At least it would bring temporary relief from the humidity.

He smiled as he thought back to _that_ stormy night. He often did. It'd been early summer. Maria's first night at the villa. She'd been testing his patience from the moment she arrived. As soon as he'd found her in the ballroom, he'd been annoyed. His irritation only grew as the evening stretched late into the night. By the time he'd found her singing and dancing around her bedroom with the children at some ungodly hour, his frustration was boiling over. Drumming his fingers on the iron gate, it was true, she'd got under his skin from the very beginning. At the time, he couldn't begin to understand why…

"Georg!" Max turned towards his friend. "Have you been listening to a word I've said?"

"Of course, Max," Georg reluctantly turned his thoughts away from Maria. "You were telling me about Elsa."

"You know, Georg, I think you may have broken the poor girl's heart," Max was in the shade leaning back against one of the imposing Pegasus statues standing guard over the landing. He'd lost count how many times he'd said that to Georg back in their wild youth. He certainly hadn't expected things to end like this with Elsa. Turning back, he looked up the steps towards the villa.

"Oh, I'm sure you're being a little over dramatic, Max." Feeling more than a twinge of guilt for stringing Elsa along for so long, Georg tried to dismiss his friend's concerns. "I have no doubt Elsa will bounce back."

"Yes, quite…" Max agreed. "I guess it's all for the best in the end."

"Mmmm…" Georg agreed as he stared out across the lake, watching a pair of white swans take flight. He'd called Max after breakfast asking him to return to Salzburg as soon as he could. Today if possible. He smiled as he leaned on the iron gate. When he'd spoken to Max this morning, he didn't need any convincing to make the return trip to Salzburg. After consoling Elsa these past days, Max would have seen his call as the lifeline he needed.

Max still wasn't sure why Georg had asked him to return. But then, he'd arrived barely an hour ago. Although the call this morning had been rather vague and cryptic, he hadn't needed any encouragement to escape the tears and recriminations. He'd gladly left them behind in Vienna. For all her cool, distant exterior, Max hadn't realised how hard Elsa had fallen for Georg. Glancing across to his friend, who was still staring out across the lake, deep in thought, he was certain Georg was completely clueless how much Elsa had really come to care for him.

Truth be told, he was feeling a little guilty at how readily he'd abandoned Elsa in her moment of need. But it had been more than a little awkward. Both Elsa and Georg were good friends. The last thing he wanted was being caught in the middle. It was far too uncomfortable being expected to take sides. He couldn't be disloyal to Georg, no matter how badly he may have treated Elsa. Sometimes, not even by the messiness of a broken heart can break some loyalties.

Glancing back to Georg, he knew something was troubling him. He was certain it wasn't Elsa. As usual, Georg would reveal everything in good time. Over the years, he'd rarely questioned his friend and he certainly wasn't going to start now. Georg had asked for his help, that was enough.

"Well, if there's one thing we know about Elsa, she's one tough lady," Max noted, as it seemed that Georg had drifted off into his own world. "After a few parties, she'll be back to her best, like you say."

Georg smiled and nodded out into the distance. "Thank you, Max," he turned to his friend. "Thank you for taking Elsa back to Vienna. I certainly owe you…" he trailed off as something caught his attention. Turning towards the terrace, he smiled as he watched Maria make her way through the double doors and across the terrace. She'd woken and changed for dinner. He held his breath as he watched her drift across the terrace in her blue dress. _God, he loved that dress_. As she took a seat at the table under the cool shade, she gave him a smile. He gave a hint of a nod in response.

He tried to hold onto her eyes, but they drifted away from him. Watching on, he realised that Maria had noticed Max leaning in the shade beside the gates. She gave him a smile and a wave. For one ridiculous moment, Georg felt a twinge of jealousy.

"Fraulein Maria's looking well, Georg," Max smiled and waved back towards the terrace. It would take some time to forget all the chaos that followed her return to the villa. The children's despair at her sudden leaving, her fainting almost on the spot where he was now standing. The panic, the shock. Elsa's swift departure. "Such a lovely young thing, isn't she…?" he added absentmindedly, watching on as Maria was joined by Frau Schmidt.

"Max!" Georg shot back as he turned to glare at his friend. "Behave yourself!"

"What?!" Max turned and met Georg's glare with a mischievous smile. "Don't tell me you haven't had the same thought. Don't tell me it was all in Elsa's imagination."

But Georg was no longer listening. Frau Schmidt had said something that made Maria laugh. He watched on as Maria threw her head back and laughed. He suddenly realised how much he'd missed that sound over the past days while she'd been so ill. But it had been more than that. She'd seemed so lost without the children. It was like a part of her had left with them. He wondered what Frau Schmidt and Maria were talking about.

"Come on, let's have a drink before dinner," still ignoring Max's comment, Georg was already walking up the path towards the steps. Towards Maria.

As Frau Schmidt made her way back inside, Maria's attention turned to the two men coming towards her. Although, it was Georg who had most of her attention. He'd been quiet and distracted all day and she'd been worried about him. Left to his own thoughts for too long, he was prone to brood. After lunch, he'd made a hasty trip to Salzburg while she rested. Having just risen from her afternoon nap, she was pleased to see that Herr Detweiler had arrived. Despite their lively banter and arguments, the two were good friends. Herr Detweiler would help lift Georg's spirits.

Looking on as Georg made his way up the steps with Herr Detweiler by his side, she could feel her heart flutter. To distract herself, she took a sip of water from the glass Frau Schmidt had poured, reminding herself to stop acting like some silly, lovesick schoolgirl. It felt like she'd been telling herself that all summer.

Georg started laughing at something Max had said. She loved hearing his booming laugh. When she'd first arrived, she stood in the foyer wondering if the Captain ever smiled, let alone laughed. She nodded at him, trying to ignore that her heart was now pounding so loud she was sure both men would hear it as they walked across the terrace towards her.

Georg looked at her, giving her the tiniest wink. He obviously hadn't told Max everything yet. Over the past weeks, that wink had become one of the signals they used when surrounded by the children. Understanding exactly what Georg was telling her, Maria smiled past him and nodded to his friend. "Good afternoon, Herr Detweiler," Maria greeted him from where she was seated. "It's so nice to see you again."

"Well, Fraulein, I must say that it's rather nice to be back," Max smiled at her. "Although, I'm surprised Georg missed me so soon," he added as he walked across the terrace towards her. Noticing Maria flash Georg a quick look, his eyes moved to his friend. It was impossible not to notice the look he was giving the young postulant. As much as they tried, the pair had always been hopeless hiding their feelings for each other. Running his fingers down his moustache, he noted that nothing had changed while he'd been in Vienna.

Taking a seat beside Maria, Max stretched his legs out under the table and leaned back as he turned to her. "You're looking so much better than when I last saw you, Fraulein," he smiled. "We were terribly worried about you," he added as he reached for a serve of pastry from the tray in the centre of the table.

"Max, you'll spoil your dinner if you eat any more of that strudel," Georg poured two glasses of brandy from the decanter and placed one in front of Max.

"No danger of that!" Max said between mouthfuls as he placed the spoon on the plate before taking a sip of brandy.

Georg refilled Maria's glass from the jug of water. Sitting down at the head of the table, he turned his attention toward her. She was looking much better, even since he'd seen her just after lunch. She even had more colour in her cheeks.

He'd hated leaving her to go to Salzburg. It was ridiculous, he knew, it had only been for a few hours. There'd been a time, not that long ago, when he'd longed for his own company. He'd even shut himself in his study for hours on end. But not now. Now, he was missing the children desperately and he was craving Maria's company.

"How are you feeling after your nap, Fraulein?" Georg asked affectionately as he moved his leg slightly, bringing his knee in contact with her leg.

"I think I've almost shaken this horrible thing, Captain," Maria smiled at Georg.

"Good…" Georg said quietly, completely unaware that the intimate nature of his conversation with the children's governess had caught Max's attention. Truth be told, he'd forgotten Max was even seated at the table with them. He was far too distracted by Maria. Completely captivated, he smiled as she gave him a tiny nod and took a sip of water from her tall glass. God, he wanted to take hold of her hand. He wanted to trace the length of her fingers, run his thumb across the soft skin inside her wrist. He'd discovered this morning, quite by accident, how sensitive she was along the inside of her arm. He wanted to explore more. Needed to…

"Wonderful drop as always," as amusing as it was to see Georg totally smitten, Max thought he'd better interrupt his friend's wayward thoughts before he scared the poor girl.

"Erhm, yes, Max," Georg cleared his throat and pulled his eyes and thoughts away from Maria towards Max. "Courvoisier, of course," Georg took a sip of the smooth, amber liqueur. "Nothing but the very best for you, Max," he added sarcastically, but with great affection, raising his glass to his friend.

"Fraulein, I'm hoping Georg's asked me back because he's finally come to his senses," Max placed his brandy glass on the table and picked up his spoon to take another mouthful of strudel.

Maria quickly looked to Georg. Had he told Herr Detweiler anything? But Georg gave her a tiny shake of his head. "Come to his senses?" she questioned. "I'm sorry, Herr Detweiler, I think you'll find it's the complete opposite," she added innocently with an arched brow in Georg's direction.

Max chuckled at Maria's response as he wiped away the crumbs from his mouth with the linen napkin. "Max, Fraulein. I must insist that you call me Max." Looking across to Georg, he couldn't miss the silly grin his friend was giving her. "Honestly, Georg, if I'm not here to prepare the children for the Festival, then I'm more than happy to soak up your hospitality," he raised his half empty glass of brandy towards Georg.

"You and that damn Festival, Max," Georg responded drily. "We'll talk after dinner," he added, suddenly serious.

"Well, until then I'll hold out the faint hope that you're going to agree to enter the children in the Festival," Max persisted, earning a scowl from Georg. "I must admit though, the villa is horribly quiet without the children," he reflected.

"Max, it feels so empty…" Maria agreed.

"It's certainly not the same," Georg added, taking a sip of brandy as a heavy silence descended on the table. This time of the day, the sounds of the children playing on the lawn beside the lake would float up to the terrace.

"You say they're still with Hede?" Max's question eventually broke into everyone's thoughts as he placed his empty plate back on the tray in the centre of the table.

"Yes, Max," Georg stood up. "But more of that later. Let's get ready for dinner, before you eat all of that strudel," he was already holding the back of Maria's chair for her.

ooooXXXXoooo

"So, you and the young Fraulein are getting married, Georg?" Max had lost count, but he was probably onto his fifth or sixth glass of brandy and he'd asked the same question just as many times. Perhaps more. "I can't believe she's agreed to have you, old man," he added with a mischievous grin, raising his glass for another toast.

"You're forgetting, I'm not as old as you," Georg shot back at his friend. Since Maria had retired to bed, he'd been sitting in one of the leather armchairs in the study, while Max sat on the sofa. Georg had been explaining everything to Max as they worked their way through what remained of the Courvoisier.

"Quite right, Georg," Max took a sip from his glass. For all the ribbing he'd been giving his friend, their news was hardly a surprise. You would have been blind not to notice the looks and feelings that had been simmering between the two over the summer. It had been intriguing to watch. Thinking it was nothing more than an innocent attraction, he'd told Elsa over the past weeks that Georg would forget the young postulant as soon as she returned to the Abbey.

It appeared there was so much more than he'd imagined. He should have realised. From the beginning, the young girl seemed to understand Georg better than most. Better than he knew himself. She'd been the one who'd finally dragged him out of his dark mood.

Others, like Elsa, had played a part. But they'd only been able to do so much. Strangely, Maria had been able to connect with Georg on an entirely different level. Who would have thought things would have become so serious, he pondered as he took another sip.

"She's good for you, Georg, you realise that, don't you?" Max concentrated on his glass as he swirled the brandy. "And she's marvellous with the children."

"Mmmm…" Georg agreed. He'd often wondered where his family would be now if Maria hadn't arrived when she did.

"When's the official announcement?" Max asked. He was worried for Elsa. Although she'd always suspected Georg felt something for Maria, it would still come as a blow when she heard the news. Naturally, she would find things awkward when everyone found out that the most eligible man in Austria had passed her over for his children's governess. Everyone knew Georg had been courting Elsa for the past two years. Why, they'd all been expecting an engagement announcement at the party. Poor Elsa had been expecting nothing less.

For the announcement to appear with the name of his children's governess rather than Elsa's, it was bound to create a stir. The fact that Maria was a postulant and almost half his age was only going to add fuel to all the gossip and innuendo that would quickly follow their announcement. Max could see this getting very messy. "Should we give Elsa a call first to warn her?"

"I've thought of that, Max, but it won't be possible," Georg looked into the blackened fireplace. There'd been no need for a fire tonight. Anyway, the brandy was keeping them warm. "There won't be any announcement just yet. Not for a few days. Maria still needs to speak to the Reverend Mother. We're visiting her tomorrow."

"Fair enough," Max agreed. "I just think it would be nicer for Elsa if she heard before everyone else."

"I'll see what we can do," Georg knew Max was right. Elsa deserved better than to read their announcement in the newspaper. Or, worse still, to find out from one of her friends. Knowing firsthand how much her friends gossiped, that was probably more likely. "At the moment, I'm more worried about Zeller's mad Nazi ideas than Elsa's feelings. From his call last night, he knows too much. Don't discuss anything with the staff, I'd prefer to keep everything between the three of us for as long as possible."

"Forgive me, Georg, but aren't being a little paranoid?" Max asked tentatively, expecting his question to provoke his friend's anger. "After all, the Anschluss hasn't happened yet."

"It may not have happened officially, but, unofficially, the Nazis have recruited enough people in enough places to start pulling strings and having influence," Georg turned to Max. "Zeller will be looking to impress the party, so he can take control of the local wing when the time comes. For God's sake, he wants to talk to me about accepting the commission at Bremerhaven."

"But you said it was an invitation to join the German navy. Surely you can refuse?" Max took another sip of brandy.

"I can turn down their invitations, and I have already. But for how long?" Georg replied in a quiet voice. "This is their second request. If I turn down this one, it will only encourage them send me an offer I can't refuse."

"Is that likely?" Max asked, still doubtful that the Nazis really had as much influence as Georg believed they did.

"I'm expecting it. Zeller hinted that it would be in my interest to accept their current offer," Georg sat on the edge of the armchair and reached for the bottle of brandy on the side table. "Anyway, I called Zeller this morning and arranged a meeting with him later this week," he explained as he refilled their glasses.

"Do you really think they'll use the children to force your hand?" Max wondered if Georg wasn't being a little over dramatic.

"Max, the Nazis may have been banned, but that hasn't stopped them. It's only pushed them underground and made them far more dangerous," Georg turned towards his friend. "To be honest, I don't want to find out what those monsters are capable of," he added.

"Agreed, Georg," Max returned his friend's grim look. "Agreed."

"What saddens me most, they're turning Austrian against Austrian…"

ooooXXXXoooo

Georg made his way along the upper landing towards Maria's room. He hadn't planned to spend so long with Max. He'd expected him to be tired after travelling down from Vienna earlier in the day. He also hadn't expected to drink so much. Not that he was drunk. But since returning from Vienna weeks ago, when he'd promised to be a better father, that had included not drinking so much. Tonight, Max and he had been far too philosophical and perhaps a little melancholy.

Reaching the door to Maria's bedroom, he stopped and gently knocked. Waiting, he strained to hear any sound or movement. Hearing neither, he opened the door as quietly as he could, and let himself in. Closing the door softly behind him, he smiled.

Frau Schmidt had fallen asleep in the chair beside the bed. There was a bundle of wool and needles in her lap. She must have been knitting something for her new grandson before drifting off. Maria, his beautiful, gorgeous Maria was on her side sleeping soundly. Still staring at her as he walked around the foot of the bed, his breath caught. She looked like an angel. Max was right. Who'd ever imagine she'd have fallen for him?

Walking up to Frau Schmidt, he gently touched her arm and said her name softly. He smiled as she jumped a little.

"Oh, Captain…" she mumbled quietly as she forced open her eyes and looked around, trying to remember where she was. "I'm sorry, I seem to have fallen asleep…" she whispered.

"No need to apologise, Frau Schmidt," Georg answered softly, so as not to wake Maria. "Herr Detweiler distracted me longer than I'd planned."

"Fraulein Maria has improved so much, Captain," Frau Schmidt nodded towards the bed as she bundled up her knitting. "She seems so much more at ease tonight…" she added, although she had no idea why. Her sleep tonight had been deep and restful, nothing like the troubled sleep from previous days and nights.

"I'm glad to hear," Georg smiled. "You go to bed and have a good night's sleep. I'll sit and keep an eye on things."

"Are you sure, Captain? It's no trouble," Frau Schmidt put up a feeble protest. She was tired from all the worry over Fraulein Maria these past days, and it would be much more comfortable sleeping in her own bed.

"I'm certain," Georg put his hand on her arm, giving it a gentle squeeze. She was so much more than their housekeeper. He watched as she got to her feet a little stiffly and quietly made her way towards the door.

Turning back as she opened the door, "Good night, Captain," she whispered. He smiled and nodded as she turned to make her way out and close the door behind her.

Georg sat in the chair beside the bed and watched Maria in the soft light of the bedside lamp as she lay on her side, facing him. How could he ever think of leaving her and going back to the navy? Of course, being the Nazi navy, it was easy to refuse the offer. But even if he was given the chance to serve in the Austrian navy, he wasn't certain that he'd accept.

When he'd met Agathe, he'd known nothing else except serving in the navy. Being away from home for weeks on end, being away from her and children, as they started arriving, had just been part of life. It had always been difficult, heart wrenching, to say goodbye whenever his leave came to an end, but they knew no different. It was only after he left the navy that he realised how much he loved spending time at home with Agathe and the children. He realised how much he'd missed over the years.

Looking at Maria now, he knew he could never leave her and children behind, no more than he could have left Agathe again after years of retirement. There'd been times when he'd wished he was still in the navy. He thought he'd missed the comradery, the excitement of battle, the exhilaration of victory. But faced with the real prospect of having to serve again, the past days had opened his eyes. War was for men who were either too young to know any better or too foolish to realise what they stood to lose. For too many years, he'd been that man.

As the threat of the Anschluss had increased over the past weeks, he'd contemplated sending the children away while he stayed to defend his homeland. But as the days passed, he wasn't even certain who would be willing to stand beside him to defend Austria. The invasion by the Nazis hadn't been the classic kind. There'd been no storming of the borders, no gunfire, no pillaging. It had all been through stealth. Nazi infiltration of political parties and institutions had happened under everyone's noses. The first phases of the Anschluss had already begun, and very few seemed to notice, let alone care.

As he watched Maria stir, the last thing he wanted to do was to say goodbye to her and children. As much as it hurt to turn his back on his beloved Austria, his days of leaving his family and returning to his post for weeks on end were over. In these times of madmen and faceless enemies, he knew his post was with his family. Beside Maria and the children.

"Georg…?" Maria whispered, half asleep, half hoping she wasn't dreaming that he was near.

"Sshh…I'm here, my love," he whispered as he reached over and gently brushed her hair. He hadn't wanted to wake her. She'd looked so peaceful. But his heart skipped a beat as he watched her smile at his touch.

"Please…hold me, Georg," she pleaded.

Georg moved to the edge of the armchair and leaned across to kiss her forehead. "Are you sure, Maria?"

"I've missed you…" she whispered, as she opened her eyes. It was ridiculous. She'd craved his touch all day. Longed for his arms around her.

Georg smiled at Maria. Who was he to deny her? It's what he'd needed. Running his fingers through her hair, he kissed her forehead again before standing up. He kicked off his shoes and placed them under the edge of the bed. Pulling off his jacket, he turned and slung it over the chair. His tie soon followed.

Taking off his cufflinks and placing them on the bedside table, he reached over to turn off the lamp. As his eyes grew accustomed to the dark, he turned back towards the bed. _Oh, God, he was in trouble._ He stood, flexing his fingers on both hands. Maria had moved across to the other side of the bed and had turned back the bed covers, inviting him to join her. He met her shy smile with a smile of his own as he sunk onto the mattress beside her and pulled the covers over them.

"Come here, Maria," he whispered as he reached around her waist and pulled her into his arms. She squealed out his name in surprise as she found herself half lying on him, protectively in the crook of his arm. He laughed into her hair. Who would have thought that hearing Maria squeak out his name would make him so ridiculously happy?

"I love you, Fraulein," he whispered in her ear, smiling as he felt her shiver against him.

Putting her arms on his chest, Maria pushed herself up, so she could she could see Georg's face in the dim light. "And I love you, Captain," she whispered back.

Bringing one of his arms up from her waist, he reached out from under the covers to cup her cheek. Feeling her lean into his hand he pushed himself up and gently, slowly kissed her lips. But it wasn't the sweet, chaste kiss he'd intended. _God, how could it be?_ The length of her body lying on his, the forbidden warmth of her bed, her soft lips clinging to his… It was too much to ignore, too much to stop at just one kiss.

"Oh, Maria…" he whispered, opening his eyes he glanced down at her lips. They were so close to his, almost touching. Her breathing was already coming faster. He could feel the rise and fall of her breasts against his chest. He watched as she tried to catch her breath through parted lips. Closing the distance between them, he reached up and caught her lips in his. He tried, but he couldn't pull back. Couldn't stop. Could barely think. Each kiss was becoming more desperate, more impatient, than the last. His fingers were kneading the back of her head, holding her to him. _Oh God, he needed to slow down._

Maria no longer knew who she was. She felt like she was on fire. Georg had fallen back against the pillow, but her lips never left his. Her hands were in his hair, and all her senses were concentrated on the sensation of his urgent kisses. His lips were soft, but demanding. He tasted of brandy, but there was a faint muskiness. She was sure she was going to pass out in his arms. She was completely unaware that she was now on top of him, straddling him. She had no idea the sounds she was making. She couldn't hear anything above the blood pounding in her ears. Had no idea how her soft moans were encouraging Georg to deepen their kisses.

His mouth never leaving hers, Georg wrapped his arm around Maria's waist and rolled her over. He was now on top of her. Leaning on his arms, but still touching the length of her body with his. All of his. Still kissing her, he pushed his tongue gently into her mouth. He needed to taste her. Her soft moans were growing louder. Her tongue found his. Now they were devouring each other. She was moving underneath him. It was driving him mad. Her hands where clinging to his shirt, reaching around to his shoulders, pulling him down against her.

"Georg…" she called out breathlessly to him. His name on Maria's lips was so seductive, so erotic... He swallowed his name, then in an instant, he found her tongue with his. Oh, dear God! He knew he needed her. But he hadn't realised how much. Their kisses were now desperate, hungry. Driven by a single desire, finally fulfilling an emptiness that they'd both shared.

Maria's hands were at Georg's waist, pulling him against her. She needed to feel closer to him, but couldn't feel close enough.

As Georg felt his last shred of control slipping out of his grasp, the room was suddenly filled with a bright white light. _God, it was like a spotlight had been shone in the room!_ It was gone almost as quickly as it arrived, but it was enough to bring Georg to his senses. Lifting his lips reluctantly from Maria's, barely an inch apart, they stared at each other in the now darkened room. Confused, but more shocked by how quickly they'd both lost control.

Seconds passed as they both stared at each other, fighting desperately for the same air, they tried to fill their lungs, to catch their breath. Before they had time to gather their thoughts, let alone their breath, a loud clap of thunder echoed around the villa.

"Oh, my…" murmured Maria, unsure what shocked her more. The flash of lightening, the thunder or the realisation that she was now, somehow, pinned underneath the Captain.

Georg pushed himself up on his elbow and ran his hand through his hair. "Erhm, sorry Maria, that was supposed to be just a quick kiss good night…" he grinned down at her sheepishly.

"Oh…I think we both got carried away…" Maria whispered

Rolling onto his back, he tried to regain some control as he pulled Maria back into his arms. Lying back against the pillow, he straightened the covers around them. "I'd better behave myself, otherwise, I won't be able to look the Reverend Mother in the eye tomorrow," he smiled. "Nuns and priests make me feel guilty enough as it…"

But his words were cut short by another flash of bright white light, quickly followed by a deafening clap of thunder. Georg jumped a little, then tightened his arm around Maria's waist and kissed her hair.

"You aren't scared of thunder are you, Captain?" Maria lifted her head to catch his eye. "I could sing you a song…" she cocked her head to the side.

"Fraulein, you can sing if you like, just promise me you won't ask me to dance around the bed," he watched as she gave him a questioning look, then ran the back of his hand down her cheek. He gave her a lopsided grin. "You know the trouble we got into the last time we danced…"

 **Thank you everyone for continuing to read and review. Apologies for the delay updating – I was struck down last week with IT issues!**

 **Please check out "Throw Your Arms Around Me" on YouTube. It's an Australian classic that has become something of an anthem. One of those songs that has the entire pub singing along. It's been covered by many. Mark Seymour wrote the lyrics and is the lead singer of Hunters and Collectors. His brother's band Crowded House has covered the song for many years. Eddie Vedder has sung it at Pearl Jam concerts for years. There's a great version where Mark Seymour joins Pearl Jam during one of their Australian concerts.**

 **Walked past Mark Seymour in the supermarket the other week – always weird seeing people out of context!**

 **Still don't own TSOM, still just having a lend.**

 **"** **Immerse your soul in love"**


	19. Chapter 19

**I was stronger  
I was better  
Picked you out  
Now don't say a word  
No, don't yell out  
Never mind  
Let you out  
Led you back  
Stay on  
Sit down  
Let it fall  
Let it fall  
Let it fall  
Let it fall **

**"** **How I Made My Millions" Radiohead, "OK Computer OKNOTOK 1997 2017" (2017)**

Georg drummed his fingers against the side of his leg. He was nervous. Ridiculously nervous. But then, he knew he would be. He glanced across to Maria who was sitting in a matching wooden chair beside him. The chair had a cushioned seat, not that it made it any more comfortable. If they were designed to keep visitors on edge and their visits short, they were perfect. They'd only been sitting here a short while and already it was uncomfortably hard.

In the uneasy silence, he found himself wishing he'd done so many things differently. All the mistakes, all the wrong paths he'd taken, were working their way to the front of his mind. God, he wished he'd tried harder to be a better person. Wished he hadn't kept pretending he knew better when he'd been so hopelessly out of his depth. So utterly lost. He could feel the eyes from the crucifix behind him boring into him, seeing right through him, into his soul. He shuffled in his seat, a little unnerved.

Reaching across, he stilled Maria's hands, giving them a reassuring squeeze. She was just as anxious. Hoping to instil some confidence, trying to calm her, he realised that she'd also see through him. Perhaps he was just hoping to convince himself.

At his touch, Maria turned towards Georg and gave him a grim smile. They'd only been here a short while. It seemed so much longer. Patience was something she'd never possessed. She sighed, realising she probably never would. Sitting and waiting in the stony silence, she wondered what was taking so long. Rather than being a chance to gather her thoughts, waiting only made it worse. In the silence, and with no other distractions, her mind was running off in a hundred different directions. Taking yet another deep, calming breath she tried to focus on something. Anything.

The room was dark. The only light that found its way in streamed through the stained glass window, turning the sunlight a strange colour. Like burnt toffee. The heavy, dark wooden furniture only added to the seriousness of the room, and the circumstances that brought them here. It was difficult to imagine there was a glorious morning sun somewhere outside these grey walls.

Maria had rarely found herself sitting here. The first time was when she'd been accepted at the Abbey as a postulant. The last time was weeks ago. She'd been summoned to the Reverend Mother's office expecting to be reprimanded, but desperately hoping she could commence her novitiate. Finally. Instead, she'd been unceremoniously despatched to the von Trapp villa for the summer. That felt like a lifetime ago.

Although she'd speak to the Reverend Mother when their paths crossed in the sections of Nonnberg that weren't secluded, her visits to this room had punctuated her important moments at the Abbey. As a postulant, she'd fallen under Sister Berthe's watchful eye, the Reverend Mother having more important matters occupying her time, rather than worrying about wayward postulants.

At the sound of the iron handle turning in the heavy, wooden door Georg's hand flew off Maria's as they both spun around to the sound behind them. They were quickly on their feet as the Reverend Mother closed the door behind her with a heavy creak, the sound reverberating around the walls. As she moved across the room, the rustle of her starched habit was the only sound Georg could hear above his pounding heart.

The Reverend Mother smiled warmly at Maria as she walked towards her visitors. The young girl had always held a special place in her heart. It probably had more to do with how Maria had come to them rather than her suitability to a life of seclusion at Nonnberg. Despite trying so hard, it had been a struggle for the young girl. Extending her hand, Maria took it in both of hers and immediately dropped to her knee. She rested her forehand on their clasped hands as the Reverend Mother placed her left hand on Maria's head.

"Bless you, my daughter," she offered quietly.

Maria kissed the back of the Reverend Mother's hand, then rose to her feet.

"I've kept you, I'm sorry," the Reverend Mother apologised.

Heartened to see the warmth between Maria and the Reverend Mother, Georg allowed himself a smile. It was absurd. Trying to settle his nerves, he told himself to take slow, deep breaths. Here he was, reduced to a nervous mess all because he found himself surrounded by nuns. They'd always triggered memories of a difficult childhood, but now there was the guilt of a later life that, until recently, had been devoid of faith or hope.

He flexed his fingers, reminding himself he was a national war hero, not the small, awkward boy in short pants with the fringe sticking out at all ends.

"Captain von Trapp," the Reverend Mother held out her hand to the Captain, who took it rather stiffly. He seemed anxious, which only made her more curious.

"Ehrm, Reverend Mother…" Georg tried to find his voice as he shook her hand. Perhaps it was just his imagination, but the Reverend Mother didn't seem quite so happy to see him. She seemed a little wary. He didn't blame her. For God's sake, he was here to steal away one of her postulants. "Thank you so much for making time to see us at such short notice," he was genuinely grateful. He had no idea how the woman in charge of an Abbey passed her days, but he imagined she was kept busy and rarely entertained visitors.

"Please, take a seat," the Reverend Mother motioned as she settled herself in the highbacked chair behind her desk. The Captain's solicitor had sent her a message yesterday, asking for an urgent meeting this morning. She'd been intrigued to say the least. She was even more intrigued now that she was seated in front of her visitors. Pausing for a moment, she watched Maria wringing her hands nervously and the Captain shuffling in his seat. She had no idea what this was about, but something was going on between the two of them. "Now, to what do I owe the pleasure of this visit?" she finally asked.

"Well…" Georg began, then quickly realised that he really wasn't sure where to begin. He turned to Maria for help, but she was still staring at her lap.

"Captain, I trust you've been happy with your governess," the Reverend Mother smiled to herself as she tried to relieve some of their nervousness. She hadn't seen Maria since she'd left for the von Trapp villa weeks ago amid a wave of protest. She'd half expected the Captain wouldn't be happy with her choice and Maria would be returned to the Abbey within a few days. But the days had stretched into weeks, and now, here they were nearing the end of the summer. "I hadn't heard anything, so I assumed you were happy," she added.

"Very happy, thank you, Reverend Mother," Georg answered, feeling himself relax just a little. "Under Fraulein Maria's care, the children have flourished over the summer," he turned to Maria to see her blush adorably at his praise, but she still hadn't dared lift her eyes from her lap.

"I'm glad to hear," the Reverend Mother clasped her hands on the desk in front of her. "So, why don't you tell me what brings you both here," she softened her tone as she looked from an over-anxious Maria to a very guilty looking Captain.

"Reverend Mother…" Georg took in a deep breath, having decided it would be best to just get to the point. The sooner he explained things, the sooner he could escape the claustrophobic atmosphere of this room. "I've…well, I've asked Fraulein Maria to marry me, and she has agreed."

"Oh…" the Reverend Mother said quietly, wondering if she'd heard correctly. Barely concealing her surprise, she squared her shoulders as she looked from the Captain to Maria and then back to the Captain. "I must admit, this is rather unexpected…" she was still struggling to believe what she heard. Holy Mary, Mother of God! She hoped there wasn't more to this sudden news than she dared to imagine.

"Erhm, yes…well…" Georg shifted uncomfortably in his chair as the Reverend Mother glared at him. Knowing he needed to explain, he tried to find the words, tried to string together a coherent sentence after his bold declaration. "Yes, it wasn't what we expected either…"

"Forgive me, Captain von Trapp, but aren't you engaged to Baroness Schraeder?" after reeling from the initial surprise of his announcement, the Reverend Mother had gathered herself and now turned her full attention on the Captain.

"Ah, yes, well…" Georg swallowed hard. Oh God, she'd suddenly become overly formal. This was not a good sign. This was not going as well as he'd hoped. "Erhm….the Baroness and I were never engaged, although I had been courting her," Georg felt himself blushing under the glare of the Reverend Mother.

"Captain, I think you'd better explain yourself," the Reverend Mother was frosty, her tone no longer tinged with any warmth. "Now!" she demanded.

"Something unexpected happened, Reverend Mother…over the summer…" Georg started to explain, but paused to take a deep breath, reminding himself to stop acting like the anxious boy from his childhood. "As I explained in my note at the start of the summer, I was having trouble keeping a governess," he watched the Reverend Mother nod slowly, but her poker face gave nothing away. "Well, after scaring off every other governess, my children fell under Fraulein Maria's spell," he turned and reached across, placing his hand on hers, drawing a smile as she finally looked up at him. "And, well, I quickly followed…" he added softly, still staring at Maria.

"I see…" the Reverend Mother replied vaguely, even though, in reality, she was no closer to understanding. But, despite all their nerves, it was obvious that Maria and the Captain shared a genuine affection for each other.

"It was important for Maria, well, both of us really, for you to be one of the first to know," Georg continued, turning his attention back to the Reverend Mother.

"Is it my blessing you want?" the Reverend Mother asked abruptly.

"Your blessing is very important to us, Reverend Mother," Georg answered carefully. "But, we've also come here asking for your assistance," he added as he reached up and tugged nervously at his ear. Dear God, this woman was not making it easy.

"Captain, before you have either my blessing or assistance, you'd better tell me everything. And, I mean everything," she glared at him. Weeks ago, she'd told Maria it was God's will that she spend her summer as governess for the von Trapp children. She'd convinced the girl that their father was a fine, brave man. She prayed she wouldn't have to change her opinion of him. "Tell me _everything_ , Captain," she demanded, still wondering if he was nervous or guilty.

"Reverend Mother, we only become engaged two days ago," Georg began. "But we need to marry as soon as possible. Straight away if…"

"I don't understand, Captain," the Reverend Mother interrupted icily as she sat up straighter. "Why the urgency?"

"I can assure you, Reverend Mother, that our intentions…" he stopped as her eyes narrowed. "Erhm, my intentions, are entirely honourable," Georg turned from the old woman's glare towards Maria, whose cheeks were burning furiously as she looked back down at her lap. He knew Maria would be mortified by the Reverend Mother questioning her innocence. "When I first asked for your help to find a suitable governess, I gave you my assurances. Whoever you sent, they would be safe under my care. I have kept that promise to this day."

"Then tell me why you need to rush into this marriage," the Reverend Mother asked, her tone betraying that she wasn't convinced by the Captain's assurances.

"Several days ago, I sent the children away with my sister," Georg began. "Maria hasn't been well…" he added as he watched the Reverend Mother's eyes turn towards Maria.

"Oh…I'm starting to feel better now…" Maria stammered as the Reverend Mother's gaze fell on her. "I had a bad cold…a fever…" she added, hoping she wouldn't have to explain why she'd fallen ill, that she'd been running away from the villa. Running away from her feelings for the Captain. She relaxed slightly as the Reverend Mother seemed to soften a little and her attention turned back to Georg.

"While Maria was ill, I thought it best if Hede took the children down to Trieste. Their grandmother, Agathe's mother, spends the last half of her summers there," Georg continued. "The children, well, they aren't due to return until the end of this week…"

"And Maria is still staying at the villa alone with you, Captain?" the Reverend Mother interrupted, her voice ringing with accusations.

"I have a friend, Herr Detweiler, staying with us as chaperone," Georg shifted uncomfortably in his chair. Oh God, this woman was relentless. "I assure you, I don't want Maria compromised by idle gossip." From the corner of his eye, he could see Maria shuffling in her chair as the insinuations continued.

"Well, I must say that's reassuring, Captain," the Reverend Mother struggled to hide her sarcasm. "But why the rush? Wouldn't it make sense to wait some months? Wouldn't it be more appropriate?"

"I'd prefer to wait, Reverend Mother, we both would," Georg told her. Although, as images of last night somehow found their way to the front of his mind, he wondered how much longer he could wait. "I'm sorry, but under the circumstances, I can't see any other option."

"Circumstances?!" The Reverend Mother's shrill tone made Georg jump. "But I thought you said…" she continued before remembering herself and taking several deep breaths. "Captain von Trapp, you need to explain yourself," she added, her tone a little softer.

"In the past days, while the children have been in Trieste, I've received a second request to join the German navy," Georg ran an uneasy hand through his hair. "I rejected their first offer some weeks ago, but there's increased pressure to accept their current offer. If I turn this one down, I'm not sure that their next request will be quite so friendly."

"I see…" the Reverend Mother sat back in her chair. Although she had precious little contact with the outside world, the Abbey hadn't been fully insulated from the insidious shadow of the Nazis over the past months. She could understand the German navy chasing a prize recruit such as the highly decorated Captain.

"We're planning to leave the children in Italy. If they return, there's a chance they may come to harm," Georg noticed the Reverend Mother's expression softening. "I'm fearful they will be used by the Nazis to force me to join them in their madness," he added.

"But won't the children have to return eventually?" a frown had formed across the Reverend Mother's brow.

"I was born in Italy, so the children are also Italian citizens despite being born in Austria. We…" he turned to Maria and squeezed her hand, "…Maria and I, intend to join them."

"But Captain, there's no certainty that the Anschluss will even happen. Surely you can reject their offer?" the Reverend Mother was still concerned about the gossip and innuendo generated by a hasty marriage. "Don't you think you're rushing things unnecessarily?"

"I'm already being asked to join the Nazis, they're increasing their pressure," Georg explained, encouraged by Maria gently squeezing his hand. "I will not put Maria or the children at risk. So, unfortunately, there is no option other than to leave Austria…" he trailed off as the enormity of his words hung heavy in the air and clawed at his heart.

"When?" the Reverend Mother asked gently as she looked from one to the other.

"As soon as we can," Georg turned back to the Reverend Mother. "Within days, if possible..."

ooooXXXXoooo

Georg ushered Maria to a table in the back corner of the Café Tomaselli's small side room. Only half full, it was thankfully quiet for this time of day. It would be much more discreet than the café's main room, which had been overflowing with noisy lunch time diners. On their way through the main café, he'd acknowledged some familiar faces with a nod, doing his best to avoid stopping. Over the years, he'd become somewhat used to the stares, indiscreet whispers and approaches from strangers. But Maria wasn't. Not that he really needed any excuse to avoid the crowds.

As he pulled out one of the four chairs surrounding the small square table for Maria, he realised Max wasn't with them. Looking around, he saw him talking to one of the couples sitting at a table near the doorway. He recognised them as friends of Elsa's from Vienna. He tried to remember if they were at the party, but quickly decided it wasn't important.

Once Maria was settled, Georg sat down beside her. He'd spent the past two hours at his solicitor's office finalising paperwork and preparations, while Maria had stayed at the Abbey. The Reverend Mother had encouraged Maria to spend the time in quiet reflection and prayer while she'd gone on to make whatever arrangements she could.

By the time he'd left, the Reverend Mother had given them her blessing and agreed to help them. He still wasn't sure exactly what she'd been able to plan. Maria would tell him once they were back at the villa.

He glanced at her, amazed at how much she was taking on. Seven children, leaving her vocation and homeland behind and, of course, marrying him. It was such a departure from the life she'd planned. He would always be in awe of her courage and strength. He wanted to take her hand, wanted to ask her a hundred questions, wished he could tell her how much he loved her. But he knew that even glancing at her for too long would cause a stir amongst the crowd around them.

"So, 10 o'clock tomorrow morning?" he asked again in a low voice so none of the other diners or waiting staff could hear.

"Yes, Captain, 10 o'clock tomorrow morning," Maria replied in a quiet voice, trying to hide her excitement as she looked across the room. "The Reverend Mother is amazing, she has taken care of everything." Given the short notice, she really had been able to make miracles happen.

"She thinks the world of you, you know," Maria added with a smile as she turned to Georg. The Reverend Mother really had been hard on him this morning, but her heart had been in the right place. Maria quite liked that she'd been looking out for her, even if she had been a little over protective.

"Oh-ho, I'm not so sure about that," Georg had borne the full brunt of the woman's suspicions and mistrust the whole time he sat in her office.

"As I was leaving, she told me I'd found a fine, brave man," she smiled as Georg's leg touched hers discreetly under the table.

"Funny, she didn't make me feel fine or brave…" Georg replied sharply under his breath. His eyes were drawn to Max, laughing loudly from across the room. Looking around he could see the attention of most other diners returning to him and Maria after the momentary distraction. It was always like this, but today it seemed worse than ever. "What the hell is keeping Max?" he cursed under his breath as he shot a dark look in the direction of his friend wishing he would hurry up and join them.

"It's happening already isn't it?" Maria asked Georg quietly under her breath without looking at him. She held her head high, trying to ignore the looks, but it was impossible not to overhear the women at a nearby table whispering and giggling.

"We can leave if you want," Georg whispered, glancing at Maria before turning to glare at one table. It had been impulsive suggesting they have lunch before returning home. He might not yet be able to tell the whole world he was in love with Maria, but he'd be damned if he was going to keep her hidden away completely. "Fraulein, tell me if you want to leave," he asked again.

"No, Captain," Maria told him defiantly, as the four women at one table descended into laughter that was clearly aimed in her direction. "I'd like to stay."

"Are you sure, Fraulein?" Georg asked, but was reassured by her nod. "They've probably heard about Elsa," he answered under his breath. He could see something flash across Maria's eyes at the mention of Elsa. Watching as she started to play nervously with the linen napkin on the table between them, he wished he could take her hand in his. Instead, he placed his hand on the table near hers and reached across with his little finger to touch her little finger with the lightest of touches. He smiled as Maria drew in a deep breath and stilled her nervous movements.

Maria smiled, realising how much she loved the man sitting beside her. As long as he was with her, the snide whispers and jealous stares couldn't hurt her. He was _her_ Captain. He always would be.

"You realise they're asking themselves who is that beautiful mystery woman sitting beside Captain von Trapp," he turned to catch one of Maria's smiles. "They're debating if they've ever seen a woman with such striking blue eyes, such a gorgeous smile…" he purred under his breath as he stared nonchalantly into the distance while slowly tracing the length of her finger with his.

"Oh, I don't think you're even close!" Maria murmured softly in reply as she watched a waitress move across the room. "I recognise a few of them from the party, so I'm sure they're wondering why Captain von Trapp is having lunch in a café with his children's governess," Maria turned to smile at him as she cocked her head to the side. "Especially when the children are nowhere in sight!"

"What I wouldn't give to see their faces when they read our announcement in the newspaper!" Georg added softly. "But, Fraulein, let's ignore them."

Georg motioned across the room to a waitress who looked in their direction. "Let's have a quick lunch and we'll get you home," Georg said quietly, noticing Max had finally finished talking to his friend.

Maria smiled at him. It was nice to hear the villa referred to as _their_ home.

"After this morning, Fraulein, you need to rest," she hadn't fully recovered yet and Georg was still concerned about her overdoing things. "Also, there's a lot to be done once we get home..."

ooooXXXXoooo

The humidity of the previous days had left on last night's storm clouds. Tonight it was cold. The day's earlier warmth having quickly disappeared with the setting sun. A fire crackled away in the background, taking the chill off the room.

Georg looked across from his settee to Maria. Propped against the cushions, in the corner of the other settee, she was reading from her book. He'd been watching her, wondering how much of it she'd been taking in. After weeks of observation, tonight she seemed to be turning the pages more slowly than usual. Not that he cared. Every now and then, she would look up from her pages and reward him with a smile.

He was happy just to share the evening with her. Tomorrow would be a big day, so it was nice to relax. Everything was ready, and they'd even spoken to the children before dinner. Of course, they hadn't told them their news. That would have to be a surprise.

Max stretched out his legs in front of him. He was sitting in the arm chair beside Georg and had been keeping his friend entertained with details of the group of troubadours he'd auditioned earlier. He'd returned to Salzburg on his own mid-afternoon, after making hasty arrangements to meet the group. Having quickly decided their lyrics would be a little too risqué for the Festival committee, he'd politely stayed and listened to several of their tunes. Not because he'd hoped they might have at least one that might be suitable, but because he'd been having so much fun.

Although, given that they were now in mixed company, he had to be careful what he relayed from his afternoon. He was certain that Fraulein Maria's education was a little less broad than the lessons he and Georg had learned in the navy. Despite his best efforts, every now and then he would earn a sharp glare from Georg as he pushed things a little too far.

"Max, do you think you'll find an act for this year's Festival?" Maria asked as she looked up from her book. "There's so much wonderful talent around, I wouldn't have dreamed it would be so difficult."

"Oh, I've already found the perfect act, thanks to you," Max smiled across to where she was sitting. "Unfortunately, Georg won't let me enter them," he added, turning towards his friend.

"Max, you know how I feel about the children performing…" Georg began, but stopped suddenly as he heard the front door bell ring. The three of them all shared questioning looks. He wondered who on Earth would be calling at this time of night. He certainly wasn't expecting anyone.

"Perhaps it's just that damned telegram boy…" Georg mumbled under his breath. Earlier today, he'd been surprised to see him in Salzburg loitering with a group of young Nazi sympathisers. Thankfully Liesl wasn't home, so there wouldn't be a scene. If she was, she'd be forbidden from having anything more to do with him. The boy might be young and impressionable, but he was a Nazi first and foremost.

Georg looked past Maria towards the salon door behind her as he followed Franz's footsteps across the foyer and up the stairs to the front door. He strained to hear the voices as the butler opened the door. But they were too far away, and the conversation didn't last long. Georg listened to the two pairs of footsteps making their way towards the salon before stopping.

"Please wait here, and I'll let the Captain know you're here to see him," Franz instructed their guest.

Georg was still looking over Maria's shoulder as Franz appeared in the doorway. "Captain…" but he was cut off by their guest from the foyer.

"Good evening, everyone..."

Maria instantly dropped her book in her lap. She'd recognise that voice anywhere. Her eyes, wide and panicked, found Georg's, as her hand flew to her chest. She could barely breathe.

"Excuse me for intruding on your _cosy_ evening…" Maria froze as their guest stepped into the salon.

Georg's eyes instantly found Maria's, his heart clenching as he saw the colour drain from her face and the panic behind her wide blue eyes.

 **Thank you everyone for continuing to read and review.**

 **Please check out Radiohead's "How I Made My Millions" on YouTube - one of my favourites. This song is never played live and only one version exists – the original recording of Thom Yorke tinkering on his piano at home while his wife is clunking around in the kitchen in the background. Thom played his recording to the rest of the band and it "blew them away." They thought it was so perfect, they refused to tamper with it – unheard of for a band that is notorious for working on songs for years before they appear on an album.**

 **Given the song's title is past tense, I've always thought it's about a person reflecting on the riches they've accumulated, and what made them successful. But now they find themselves questioning the personal price of ongoing success and adoration – conforming, following, obeying, silence. Rather than sell out, they'd prefer to walk away.**

 **This song, originally released in 1998 as a B-side, is fittingly the final song on the album OKNOTOK, which was released last year and dedicated to the memory of Thom's wife.**

 **I still don't own TSOM, just having a lend.**

 **"** **Immerse your soul in love"**


	20. Chapter 20

**I'm on a roll  
I'm on a roll, this time **

**I feel my luck could change  
Kill me…kill me again with love  
It's gonna be a glorious day**

 **Pull me out of the air crash**  
 **Pull me out of the lake**  
 **I'm your superhero**  
 **We are standing on the edge**

 **The Head of State has called for me, by name**  
 **But I don't have time for him**  
 **It's gonna be a glorious day**  
 **I feel my luck could change**

 **Pull me out of the air crash**  
 **Pull me out of the lake**  
 **I'm your superhero**  
 **We are standing on the edge**  
 **We are standing on the edge**

 **"** **Lucky" Radiohead, "OK Computer" (1997)**

Georg's blood ran cold. What the hell was this man doing on his property, much less in his home? Rising to his feet, he took a few steps to the middle of the room and squared his shoulders. He hadn't missed Maria's reaction, her horror at hearing his voice. He'd be damned if she'd be made to feel uncomfortable, or threatened, in her own home.

"Herr Zeller…" Georg's words were cold and threatening as he fronted the much smaller man who had dared to appear uninvited in his house.

"Good evening, Captain," Herr Zeller smiled and nodded, trying to ignore the menacing stance and the far from friendly tone. He knew firsthand how fearful this man could be, so he reminded himself he needed to diffuse the situation. And quickly. Securing the Captain's commission for the Reich, would almost guarantee his own position following the Anschluss. But, he needed to tread carefully. "Evening, Herr Detweiler," he nodded towards the Captain's friend, still sitting rather casually in the arm chair across the room.

"Herr Zeller," Max responded with a nod as he rose to his feet. He'd noticed the knuckles of Georg's balled fists turning white from where he was sitting and decided that he probably should ready himself, just in case. Not that he'd be able to hold Georg back, not when he was angry. He'd never been able to in the past, he couldn't imagine it would be any different now.

"We agreed to meet on Friday," Georg's words cut through any forced politeness still lingering in the room. "It's Tuesday, if I'm not mistaken," he added sarcastically.

"I was in the area, Captain," Herr Zeller responded in a tone more suited to a chat with old friends. "A party meeting…" he added conspiratorially, but he couldn't help noticing the Captain bristle at his comment. Truth was, he didn't want to delay securing the Captain's commission. And he didn't want him thinking that all of this could be played on _his_ terms. "I didn't think you'd object if we brought our meeting forward," he added, deciding it best to get to the point.

" _Actually_ , I do object, Zeller," Georg drew out his reply as he eyed him suspiciously. But his eyes quickly moved to Maria, softening as they darted to the salon doorway, before moving back to Zeller. "Of course, I object to being ambushed in my own home," he added, his tone low and ominous.

"Excuse me, gentlemen…" clutching her book, Maria stood, taking the opportunity to escape. As soon as she'd heard that voice, memories from the night of the party had flooded back. She remembered those eyes roaming over her. The insinuations behind his words, the tone of his voice. "I think I might retire for the evening," she added quietly, but unfortunately Herr Zeller was standing between her and the doorway.

"Ah, I believe we've met, young lady," a smile played at the corner of Zeller's mouth as he looked the Captain's governess up and down. Yes, she was a pretty young thing, but certainly not a classic beauty. Not like Baroness Schraeder. He was surprised to find the girl spending the evening lounging in the salon with the Captain and his guest, but perhaps he shouldn't be.

Since last week's party, he'd been surprised to discover that there'd been some significant changes at the von Trapp villa. It seemed that the Baroness had left, returning to Vienna for good. Information had come to him that the children had also been sent away. With the Captain's sister, apparently. He was still trying to find out where, but that would only be a matter of time. With no children at the villa, and no Baroness, he could only imagine how this pretty young thing filled in her days. _And nights._ As he looked her over, his mouth twitched at the possibilities. "But I haven't had the _pleasure_ of being introduced," Zeller added suggestively, still staring at the governess.

"Zeller!" Georg took a menacing step forward, snapping Zeller's attention away from Maria. He'd be damned if he'd allow Maria to be subjected to Zeller's disgusting behaviour. "I know you didn't interrupt our evening so you could be introduced to my household."

Maria nodded her thanks to Georg, her eyes showing just how uncomfortable this man made her feel. "Excuse me," she said quietly as she hugged her book closer to her chest and stepped between Georg and Herr Zeller.

"Good evening, Fraulein," Herr Zeller nodded at the girl as he stepped aside and watched her walk past, his eyes following her.

"Zeller!" Georg unfurled his hands from their tight fists and flexed his fingers as he tried to control his anger.

"Excuse me for being so easily… _distracted_ ," Zeller smiled knowingly at the Captain, whose jaw tightened noticeably. Perhaps there was something behind the rumours and gossip. He'd have to explore that possibility further, he noted to himself. "Now, why don't we take a seat so we can discuss your commission at Bremerhaven?"

ooooXXXXoooo

Maria quickly shut her bedroom door behind her. Leaning against the back of the door, she closed her eyes and tried to forget Herr Zeller's evil look and suggestive words. After a few minutes, she slowly opening her eyes and walked across to her bedside table to pick up her rosary beads. Running the string of wooden beads absentmindedly through her fingers, she dropped to her knees beside the bed.

"In the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Ghost, amen…" she closed her eyes and whispered to herself as she made the Sign of the Cross. Clasping her hands together, she rested her elbows on the bed. As she began reciting the first Hail Mary, she wasn't sure whether it was penance for her thoughts about Herr Zeller or if she was praying for God to help Georg control his temper. Probably both.

As she mechanically continued her prayer, her mind was racing. Herr Zeller had just arrived and already Georg was barely able to control his anger. She could hardly blame him. Herr Zeller represented everything that was changing around them. He was an evil, disgusting man. She shivered, remembering the look he'd just given her. She quickly blessed herself for such uncharitable thoughts.

After the party, she hoped she'd never see him again. She wondered why Herr Zeller had turned up unexpectedly. Georg had arranged to meet him at the end of the week. By then, they would be in Italy, reunited with the children.

 _The children._ Oh, how much she missed them. She was aching to see them again. When they'd spoken to them earlier, she'd wished they could tell them their news. But Georg was right. They had to be careful who knew of their plans. It broke her heart to think that they couldn't tell the children that they were to be married until they were safely over the border. But Georg had kept assuring her that the children would be thrilled no matter when they heard the news. She hoped so...

"Oh…" she was suddenly aware that instead of kneeling there praying, she'd been playing with her rosary beads. It was so hard to concentrate, wondering what was going on downstairs. "Hail Mary, full of grace…" she whispered, beginning over again.

She tried her best to focus on her second attempt at a Hail Mary. But it wasn't long before her mind drifted again. She hoped that Georg was keeping his anger at bay. She wasn't sure if Max would be much help. From what Georg had told her, Herr Zeller was already a powerful man, even though he didn't hold any position within Salzburg. But in these times, that didn't seem to matter.

One thing she was sure of, it would be a long time before she could rid herself of the image of his cruel eyes. She closed her eyes tighter, but could still see them…

"Oh, no…" Maria drew in a sharp breath. For a fleeting moment, she wondered if Herr Zeller had discovered that the children were over the border and that Georg would soon join them. Her eyes shot open. "Surely not…" she whispered to herself. Apart from her and Georg, only four other people knew of their plan: Max, the Reverend Mother, Georg's solicitor and Father Alexander, who would marry them tomorrow. She closed her eyes and finally let out the breath she'd been holding. It was impossible for Herr Zeller to know of their plans. Surely it was just a coincidence that he was here now…

Realising that she'd been distracted again and had stopped somewhere in the middle of her second attempted Hail Mary, Maria put her rosary beads down on the bed beside her. She closed her eyes and began to pray quietly, "Please, dear Lord, give Georg the strength…" but her prayer was suddenly interrupted by the sound of raised voices. Her eyes flew open as she turned towards the bedroom door. What on Earth was happening downstairs? It sounded like all hell had broken loose.

"Oh, my…" she mumbled as she scrambled to her feet. Quickly walking over to the door, she opened it quietly. Just a little. Standing behind it, she tried to hear what was being said downstairs. But all she could hear was muffled voices. One thing was certain, they were raised and very angry.

She strained to hear, but they were still be in the salon, so it was impossible to make out what was being said. But she recognised Georg's voice drifting up from below. She wasn't sure why she was cowering behind her bedroom door. It's not like the men could see her, and they certainly wouldn't hear anything above their raised voices.

"Zeller, how dare you just arrive at my home uninvited and start interrogating me!" she could hear Georg clearly now from the foyer. There was no mistaking the venom in his words.

"You're making a grave mistake, Captain," Maria could hear the threat in Zeller's angry response.

"Oh, you think so, do you?" Georg shot back at him sarcastically.

"Don't do anything stupid." She shivered at Zeller's words as she closed her eyes, picturing the evil little man.

"How _dare_ you threaten me in my own home," Georg retorted. "It's none of your business where my children are!"

"Now, Captain…there's no need to be unreasonable," she could hear Herr Zeller's voice start to waver.

"Unreasonable?!" Georg thundered. "I haven't even begun to show you unreasonable, Zeller!"

"Don't you try anything, Captain," there was real fear in Zeller's voice now. "I have men waiting outside in the car."

"I don't care if you've got the entire Third Reich outside my front door!" Georg shouted back at him. "Get out!"

"Don't think you can avoid the reaches of the Reich!" Herr Zeller threatened.

"Zeller, you forget. This is Austrian soil!" Georg snapped back. "Take your Nazi traitors with you and get off my land!" She could hear Georg's heavy footsteps making their way up the stairs to the front door.

"You're a fool, von Trapp!" Herr Zeller shouted back. "Stop wrapping yourself in that ridiculous flag and burying your head in your precious Austrian soil!"

"Get out!" Georg yelled again as she heard him opening the front door. "Tell that madman, your _beloved_ Fuhrer, he can go to hell as well…" Georg yelled out into the night.

Maria stood frozen to the spot. Waiting. It was only seconds before a car revved in the front yard, followed by the slamming of the front door. She'd been holding her breath again as she stood behind her bedroom door, listening to the volley of angry words.

"Georg, was that really necessary?" Max, ever the peacemaker, was now trying to calm the situation as she heard Georg walk down the stairs from the front door.

"Leave it, Max, I'm not in the mood," Georg snapped. Maria could hear him striding angrily across the foyer.

"Franz!" Georg roared, then waited for the butler to appear. "Lock the front gates." The sound of the study door slamming reverberated around the villa.

Maria could picture him now. Sitting behind his desk, his head in his hands, bristling with anger. Sometimes, in the weeks after he first returned from Vienna, she'd found him like that. She'd be in too much of a hurry to ask him something or desperately wanting to tell him some small thing about the children. She'd knock on the study door and just burst in before either of them realised. He'd awkwardly shuffle some papers on his desk pretending he'd been working. Neither of them would ever say anything, but they both knew better.

Maria rested her forehead against the back of the bedroom door. She'd wait a few minutes for Georg to calm down a little before going to the study. If she let him, he would spend the entire night there, boiling and brewing away. Perhaps his outburst had been foolish, but she couldn't help feeling proud that he'd stood up for his family and his country. The Reverend Mother had been right. The Captain was a fine, brave man.

But she could still hear Herr Zeller's threats ringing in her ears. For a fleeting moment, she hoped they wouldn't come to regret what just happened. Surely, the Nazis couldn't do anything. Anyway, her and Georg would be on their way tomorrow. But, still…

Dismissing the nagging thoughts, she knew she had to ignore them. Right now, while Georg was still so angry, so she had to be the one with the calm head. She had to keep a clear mind and maintain her faith that everything would work out. Everything would go to plan tomorrow morning, and by tomorrow night, they would be over the border. Taking a deep breath, she squared her shoulders and closed the bedroom door behind her as she started making her way around the upper landing towards the stairs.

She stepped lightly down the stairs, taking them two at a time from the front door landing. She stopped for a moment at the salon door and looked across the room towards Max. He was sitting on one of the settees sipping a very full glass of brandy.

"Are you alright, Max?" Maria asked quietly.

"Don't worry about me, Maria. He's not angry with me, which makes a nice change," Max smiled. "Maria..." he called out to her as she started to turn away. "He's lucky to have you," Max raised his glass in Maria's direction. "And don't worry, the old fool knows it," he added with a nod.

"Thank you, Max," Maria smiled as she turned away again. She stopped outside the study, taking a deep breath as she looked at the closed door. She knocked once and opened the door in the same instant.

"Max, not now!" Georg snapped from his desk towards the door, then looking up saw Maria standing in the doorway. "Maria…" he whispered, quickly getting to his feet.

Closing the door quietly behind her, she watched him make his way across the room towards her. "Georg…" she said quietly as he stood in front of her.

"I'm sorry, Maria," he reached out for her waist and pulled her gently towards him. Both of his arms were quickly around her, holding her to him. "I'm so sorry. I promised myself I wouldn't lose my temper…" he whispered against her hair, filling himself with her calming scent. Her hands were around his shoulders, holding him tight. He closed his eyes as he felt her fingers start to gently tease the hair just above his collar. Already he could feel the tension starting to leave his body. "I tried to control myself…"

"Sshh…" Maria soothed him as her hand played with the hair at the nape of his neck.

Georg's head dropped to her shoulder as he buried his face against her neck. God, how could he have been so stupid and act so irrational? "I threw Zeller out…" he murmured against her. So much for his legendary _control under fire_.

"I know, Georg…" she cradled his head in her hand, turning to bury a kiss in his hair. "I, erhm… I heard…" she trailed off smiling against him.

Pulling back from her and straightening up, Georg looked at her, his eyes narrowing. "Are you _laughing_ at me, Fraulein?"

Maria bit her bottom lip. "No…" she looked up at him with her blue eyes, wide and innocent. "Well, not exactly…" she bit the side of her mouth before continuing. "Georg, I knew Herr Zeller would upset you eventually. But I thought if I prayed hard enough, there may just be a chance…" she smiled as he cocked his head to the side. "I managed to get partway through the second Hail Mary… well, then all the yelling started…" she smiled at him.

"I'm so sorry…" Georg whispered sheepishly.

"I was proud of you," Maria murmured softly.

"Really?" Georg asked hesitantly. Surely, she was just saying that. But her smile and nod were all the reassurance he'd ever need. Reaching behind her, he quietly locked the study door with a muffled click. "Come and sit with me for a few minutes?" It really wasn't a question. He needed her. Taking her hand, he led her across the room to the sofa.

Sitting down, he gently tugged her hand and pulled her onto his lap. He smiled as she let out a small squeal of surprise. "Sshh…" he whispered. "We don't want Max to know you're here with me."

"It's too late…" Maria told him quietly, as she ran her hand down his cheek. "I spoke to him when I walked past the salon," she answered his questioning look.

"I'm surprised he didn't want to join us," Georg muttered under his breath.

Maria ran her forefinger absentmindedly underneath the lapel of his jacket. "I think he thought you needed a distraction after Herr Zeller's visit," she looked up to meet his eyes and gave him a shrug.

"You're hardly a mere distraction, Maria," he caught her hand that was continuing to play with his lapel, stilling the knuckles that had been gently brushing up and down against his chest. He smiled to himself. Alright, perhaps she was just a little distracting. "Max thinks you're good for me," he was serious now, holding her eyes with a smouldering gaze. "He's right…"

"That's very kind of him," Maria wished she could look away. There were times when Georg looked at her she just felt so exposed. She was sure he could see right into her soul.

"It's true. I don't know where I'd be without you," he whispered. "Still completely adrift, I imagine…" he added as he reached up to cup her cheek. His eyes drifted down to her lips. He bent down and brushed her lips with his. "I love you…" he murmured against her mouth.

Maria reached up and ran her fingers through his hair. Sometimes, he just took her breath away. She couldn't even begin to explain it. Tugging on his hair, she pulled him to her and opened her mouth against his. She smiled as she felt him deepen their kiss.

Wrapping his arms tighter around Maria, it would only take a few more minutes and he could forget all about tonight. But he stopped as he felt her pulling away. Looking down he raised a brow.

"Georg…" Maria began softly, hoping that he'd had enough time to calm down a little.

"Mmm…?" he replied resting his cheek against her hair.

"Herr Zeller's threats, Georg…" Maria whispered as she pulled back to look at him. "Should we be worried?"

Georg smiled. It was nice to have someone to share the family's worries. He'd been carrying them alone since Agathe fell ill. And God knows, he'd made a horrible mess of it. "I'm not too concerned," he took her hand in his. "What can they do between now and tomorrow? This time tomorrow, we'll be in Italy," he bent down and started concentrating on kissing away the lines of worry that had appeared across her forehead.

"Are you sure, Georg?" Maria asked. "You're not just saying that?"

"I know better than to pretend with you, Fraulein. You can see right through me," Georg murmured against her brow. "Knowing how the wheels of these things turn, they'll still be working out their next move long after we've left."

"Are you sure?" Maria asked again.

"Positive. We have nothing to worry about," Georg looked into her eyes, wide with worry. "Now, let's not talk anymore about Zeller. I don't want him ruining our evening completely," he added running his knuckles down her cheek.

"Agreed!" Maria smiled, knowing that with Georg by her side, she'd always be safe.

"Do you have everything you need for tomorrow?" Georg asked, happy to change the subject as he ran his hand absentmindedly through her hair.

"Yes, Georg," Maria rolled her eyes at him, making him laugh. He'd already asked her the same question five times. Her heart still skipped a little beat whenever she heard him laugh. Especially if it was because of her.

"I'm sorry that the children won't be there tomorrow. I know how much that would mean to you," he whispered.

"The important thing is that we'll be with them soon," Maria sat up and looked at him. "And, I've already told you, I don't care if I have to borrow a dress from the Abbey, or if we don't have a church full of people I don't know."

"I'll speak to Frau Schmidt in the morning," Georg smiled. _God, he loved his practical, sensible Maria!_

"It's awful that we have to leave…" Maria replied quietly. "I'm so sorry that you'll be leaving behind so many memories…"

"Fraulein, you reminded me that my family is far more important than clinging to memories," he pulled her close to him, wrapping his arms around her. "I've packed some photographs and some things for the children so they can remember Agathe," he kissed her forehead.

"Oh, the children will love that," Maria burrowed against his warmth and muscle. "You know how important it is for them to remember."

"I'll always carry my memories in my heart…" Georg bent down and kissed her lips, "…including wonderful memories of this summer…"

He found her lips again, but this time his kiss was more determined, more desperate, as he opened his mouth. He smiled as she deepened their kiss. Her tongue was searching for his and he surrendered to her before he could even stop to think. His kisses were now greedy, desperate. She moaned, encouraging him, making him lose himself in her softness, her tender touches. _Oh God, he needed to feel her body against his._

His mind strayed to the nights they would share. Her hands were in his hair now, desperately grabbing handfuls of hair. She was pulling him closer. He groaned. _God, he needed her._ He tried to deepen their kiss even more. He needed to taste more of her. All of her. Oh, God, he couldn't get enough of her…

Suddenly, a door banging in the distance tore them out of their world and back to the study.

"Oh…" Maria smiled as she tried to fill her lungs. She was barely inches from Georg, still clinging to fistfuls of hair, as they were stared at each other, wild eyed and fighting for the same air.

"Memories…Fraulein…so many new memories together…" he bent down and captured her lips in a searing kiss as his thoughts strayed dangerously to tomorrow night…

ooooXXXXoooo

Maria straightened the wreath around her head. Standing in the one of the oldest, most sacred rooms in the Abbey, everything seemed surreal. Only weeks ago, or perhaps even days, she had imagined this moment. It had been her dream since she was a small girl. Since the strains of the nun's vespers had drifted on the evening air over the Abbey walls and into her heart. It had seemed that their song was the only thing that could soothe her aching heart and lost soul. The only thing that ever would.

But today, it was very different to how she'd imagined it in the past. True, she was still dressed in one of the Abbey's long, white gowns and lace veils just as she'd dreamed. And yes, she was about to make a lifelong commitment, one that made her heart sing and her head swim. Since a young girl, she'd dreamed of standing alone at the altar in her bridal gown as she vowed to commit her life to God's will. A bride of Christ. It had always been her dream.

But today would be different. Very different. Today, she would be standing at the altar holding the hand of the man who'd stolen her heart over summer. Who'd somehow managed to capture her entire world. Her heart fluttered at the thought of Georg. It had almost been two hours since he'd dropped her off at the Abbey with Frau Schmidt and she longed to see him. When they were apart, she always did. She was sure she always would.

She jumped a little as she felt a hand on her arm. She looked up and smiled at Sister Berthe, who gave her a reassuring smile. Since she'd been a postulant, she'd been under the Sister Berthe's watchful eye, and it seemed she would be right up to her final moments at Nonnberg. She took hold of the nun's hand and gave it a squeeze. Despite all the trouble she'd caused, all the penance handed out to her, she'd grown fond of the Sister. True, she'd always been firm, but she'd always been so kind…

Maria's thoughts were interrupted by the tolling of the bells in the distance. As they rang out, signalling the end of the mid-week Benediction, she straightened the long skirt of her simple satin dress.

"Are you ready, my child?" Sister Berthe whispered. Despite everything, she'd always had a soft spot for the young girl. She'd even reminded her of the headstrong postulant she'd been many years ago. Perhaps that's why she'd fought to keep Maria at the Abbey when others had suggested she should be encouraged to take a different path in life.

Maria looked up at Sister Berthe, raising an eyebrow in surprise. Normally she was the one speaking or singing in the secluded sections of the Abbey. But Sister Berthe? Never.

"I think we can bend the rules this once, don't you Maria?" she asked softly with a conspiratorial shrug and a twinkle in her eye.

"Thank you…" Maria whispered to her, a little unsure what had happened to the Sister Berthe she'd come to know over the past years. "For everything…" she added with a smile.

"Come on, let's get you married to your dashing Captain!" she placed a comforting hand on Maria's back and guided her across the room.

Making their way out into the hallway, they were met by the Reverend Mother and a small group of nuns. Dropping to her knee, Maria took the Reverend Mother's hand and kissed it. Standing up she smiled at the Reverend Mother who squeezed her hand affectionately.

Turning towards the door that led to courtyard, Maria led them through the door and across the cobblestone courtyard. It was nice to feel the fresh air on her face. Georg had left them at the Abbey two hours ago. She'd told him that she didn't need that much time, she couldn't remember ever spending that much time to get ready for anything. But in the end, she was glad he'd insisted. The time had flown, as she said farewell to the other postulants and the nuns she'd grown close to over her time at the Abbey.

As she made her way towards St John's Chapel, Maria's steps were slow and steady. It seemed strange that today should be the first day she could remember not scurrying across these stones, running late for one thing or another. But knowing that Georg would be waiting for her, that finally she wasn't running from her past or desperately searching for her future, made her feel for the first time in a long time, that she didn't need to rush. He would be there for her. He always would be.

Making her way up the steps and into the Chapel, she was greeted by a group of nuns waiting in the gated area at the entrance. Maria nodded and smiled, as they milled around her wishing her luck. As much as she was excited about the new chapter in her life, she wanted to enjoy this moment. Saying goodbye to her second family.

The gate was opened to let her into the Chapel, where Frau Schmidt was waiting for her. She turned back to catch the Reverend Mother's eyes. Here she was standing at the top of the aisle in St John's Chapel. There was only the aisle now separating her from Georg. And soon, they would be married. Husband and wife.

"You look beautiful, Fraulein," Frau Schmidt smiled, with tears in her eyes. She'd felt like a mother helping Maria prepare. "The Captain is a lucky man…" she began, but was interrupted by footsteps behind her.

Turning around, Maria and Frau Schmidt watched as Max came towards them. His steps were short and fast, and there was an uncharacteristic frown across his forehead, that certainly looked out of place. Maria couldn't remember Max ever looking concerned. As he rushed towards them, he looked positively panicked.

"What is it, Max," Maria asked as he came to a stop in front of them.

"I'm sure it's nothing, Maria…" Max took a few deep breaths to settle himself. "But we seem to be missing the groom."

"What?!" Maria and Frau Schmidt responded together.

"How can Georg not be here?" Maria asked. "Didn't you arrive together?"

"We did," Max smoothed his moustache. "Well…we both got out of the car, but he told me he'd forgotten something. That he'd only be a few minutes…"

"How long ago was that?" Maria asked a little too quickly. She was trying not to think the worst. But Georg was never late for anything. How could he possibly be late for their wedding?

"Almost half an hour…" Max told her. "I'm sure it's nothing. He would have heard the bells tolling. He can't be too far away…"

"Max, where did he go?" Maria asked him, but she could tell by Max's blank look that he didn't have a clue. He must have been held up by something. But what? He couldn't have…

"Oh, no…" she gasped, her hand flying to her chest. Suddenly, she couldn't breathe. She couldn't think. She was going to pass out.

"Oh, Georg…" she muttered to herself as tears flooded her eyes. She was filled with dread as the threats from last night came flooding back. _Dear God, please don't let anything happen to him…_

 **Thank you everyone for continuing to read and review!**

 **Please check out Radiohead's "Lucky" – I adore this one. It's an optimistic song about new beginnings and leaving the past behind. I love the image of being rescued from the mess you're in, but still being brave and heroic in someone's eyes. I think that kind of fits the story of TSOM…**

 **I still don't own TSOM, still just having a lend.**

 **"** **Immerse your soul in love"**


	21. Chapter 21

**I will run for shelter  
Endless summer lift the curse  
It feels like nothing matters  
In our private universe**

 **And it's a pleasure that I have known**  
 **And it's a treasure that I have gained**  
 **And it's a pleasure that I have known**

 **"** **Private Universe" Crowded House "Together Alone" (1993)**

Georg was missing. Maria couldn't think of anything else. She could barely breathe. Right then, right at that moment, nothing else mattered. It felt like her heart had dropped to the pit of her stomach. Something must have happened to him. But what? Herr Zeller's threats from last night were ringing in her ears. She could hear the hatred in his words, see those cruel eyes…

But Georg had told her the Nazis wouldn't do anything. Not yet. Perhaps it was something else. But what? They were getting married… What would stop him from being at the Chapel on time? He wouldn't just leave her at the altar. Would he? Of course not, she told herself. _Oh, Georg, where are you?_ She could feel her heart breaking under the weight of all her fears and doubts.

Closing her eyes, trying to shut out Max's look of concern, she tried to hold back the tears. She was so scared. Frightened for what might have happened to him. Terrified that she wouldn't know what to do without him. She drew a deep breath, biting back the tears and telling herself the last thing she was going to do was stand here in front of everyone and cry. Even if that's exactly what she felt like doing. Feeling a steadying arm around her shoulders, she opened her eyes.

"Fraulein, I'm sure there's nothing to worry about," Frau Schmidt squeezed Maria reassuringly, forcing a smile as she wondered where the Captain was. This was so unlike him, the man was never late for anything. His punctuality was something he prided himself on, something he was known for. "He won't be too far away."

Maria went to say something, but quickly tightened her jaw as she tried to swallow past the tears in her throat as they threatened to become a choking sob. She was still trying to ignore Herr Zeller's threats from last night. Everyone had always told her how heroic Georg was. But it was only last night that she'd truly appreciated how bravely he must have defended Austria. She'd never imagined another country would want him for their own navy. "I hope you're right…" Maria finally managed to whisper to Frau Schmidt.

"Maria, shall I ask Father to wait a few more minutes?" Max asked softly. Thankful for her nod of approval, he turned to make his way back up the aisle. _Damn Georg, where the hell was he?_ He was only supposed to be gone a few minutes. It broke his heart to see poor Maria bravely fighting back her tears. God knows, the last thing he was equipped to cope with was emotional women.

Oh well, he'd busy himself with the priest and try to smooth him over. He already seemed a little ruffled at performing the wedding at such short notice. After that, who knows what he would do next. He really didn't have a clue where to start. This was more Georg's thing.

Unlike Georg, his time in the navy had been short and very undistinguished, despite receiving an honourable discharge. He allowed himself a grim smile, actually there were very few honourable moments during his years of service. As much as Georg was born for the navy, he wasn't. But, as luck would have it, those years in the navy uncovered one of his greatest skills. The art of dealing in every kind of contraband known to the navy, and then some. It was a talent that had served him well in the years following his discharge.

Now, if he could just pacify the priest and keep everyone calm…

Through tear filled eyes, Maria watched Max disappear up the aisle towards the altar. Her hopes seemed to be fading away with each step he took. Had Georg run into the wrong people? She couldn't even contemplate that. Surely it wasn't possible. This was still Salzburg. It wasn't like the Nazis had taken over the streets. Georg had said that himself last night.

Suddenly, Maria felt a fresh wave of panic. _Oh no!_ Had Georg _really_ come to his senses? Had he suddenly realised the enormity of what he was doing? She'd tried to tell him that marrying her made no sense. Walking across the courtyard, she'd felt like a character from one of the Brothers Grimm fairy tales she would read to Marta and Gretl every night. At the party, she'd been Cinderella dancing for one magical moment with the handsome prince. At times these past days, she'd found herself floating on air like Little Briar Rose.

She should have known life wasn't like that. Not her life anyway. Her whole life she'd known that just because your heart wanted something, it was unlikely happen. Life wasn't a fairy tale. She'd always known that. Why did she suddenly deserve a happy ending?

"The Captain will be here soon, Fraulein," Frau Schmidt whispered.

"I hope so, Frau Schmidt," Maria turned to her, then looked back up the aisle toward Max, who was halfway to the altar. She was desperate for Georg to be safe, but she was starting to understand what that meant. That would mean that he'd realised marrying her was complete and utter madness. "I really hope…"

Suddenly her words were cut off by the Chapel's heavy wooden door being flung open. Maria spun around, but her view was blocked by the nun's who had gathered behind the gated area waiting for the Mass to begin. They were all turned facing the front doorway. She heard someone cursing and froze.

"Ehrm, forgive me sisters…" an awkward apology came from the doorway.

She still hadn't set eyes on the person who'd burst through the chapel door, but she'd know that voice anywhere. Her heart was starting to beat faster now as the nuns stepped aside. Waiting, for what seemed like forever, she held her breath.

As the last of the nuns stood back, her heart skipped a beat as she saw Georg standing in the doorway. His lopsided grin was matched by his hat sitting uncharacteristically crooked on his head as he stood sheepishly holding a bunch of edelweiss in one hand.

"Oh, Georg…" the lump was back in Maria's throat and tears were filling her eyes.

Georg froze as soon as he saw Maria. _Oh God, she was breathtaking_! He hadn't imagined she'd look so stunning in a bridal gown borrowed from the Abbey. The plain satin bodice hugged her figure to her tiny waist, where it gave way to a flared skirt that fell to the floor. It was simple. It wasn't fancy. Just like his beautiful, gorgeous bride.

Realising that everyone was staring at him, he cleared his throat and removed his hat as he took a step towards Maria. Even from where he stood, he could see the emotion in her eyes. He knew he was the reason. He hated himself for it. Excusing himself as he made his way past the nuns, he couldn't think of anything else except getting to Maria. He wanted to hold her. Wanted to kiss away the worry and fear that she was bravely trying to hide. But he could still see it in her eyes. He stopped for a moment as one of the nuns opened the gate to let him through.

Closing the short distance between them, he came to a stop in front of her. "Maria…I'm so sorry…" he said softly.

"Georg…" Maria whispered. "I thought something had happened…"

Damn all these pairs of eyes on them! He just wanted to pull her into his arms and kiss away her hurt. "I'm sorry, I didn't think it would be so difficult to find…" he whispered as he held up the bunch of white star shaped flowers.

"Oh, Georg," she looked down at the bunch of edelweiss then smiled up at him. "They're perfect..."

His heart leapt as she smiled at him. That was all the reward he would ever need.

"They're beautiful…" she whispered as he smiled back her, looking so devilishly handsome in his dark suit. But then, he always did.

" _You're_ beautiful…" he whispered, but at the sound of Max clearing his throat, suddenly remembered where they were. "Ehrm… I wanted you to have something special… it's all been such a…" he caught her hand in his and ran his thumb across the back of her hand.

"Excuse me, Georg!" Max called out from behind Maria, trying to get Georg's attention. "I think we'd better get things started," he was stating the obvious, but honestly the man became a blithering mess when Maria was anywhere nearby. "Father Alexander seems a little grumpy…" he added quietly.

"You're right, Max!" Georg squeezed Maria's hand as he called out, but his eyes never left hers. "I've kept this beautiful woman waiting far too long." He smiled as he watched a blush fill her cheeks. _God, she was adorable!_ He lifted her hand to his lips, lingering for just a moment. "I'll meet you at the altar, Maria," he whispered, sending another blush across her cheeks.

Georg took a few small side steps down the aisle toward the altar, but his simmering gaze wouldn't let her go. Neither would his hand that still held her. He realised it would only be a few more minutes before they'd be together again, but he always hated walking away from her. Now was no different. Eventually, her fingers slipped from his and he was walking up the aisle behind Max.

When they reached the altar, Georg turned back down the aisle to catch a glimpse. Once again, he felt his breath catch. Frau Schmidt was straightening out the veil around Maria. She was smiling and covered her mouth to stifle a laugh. _God, she was adorable!_ After a moment, as if she knew his eyes were on her, she looked up and caught his gaze. He gave her a nod. _I love you._

Maria smiled back. _She loved him, too._

Giving her a reassuring nod, Georg turned back to the priest. "Apologies for keeping you waiting, Father," Georg cleared his throat and shifted from one foot to the other, certain that the priest could see how long it had been since he'd last stepped inside a church. "We're ready to begin when you are," he smiled awkwardly.

"Well, let's not waste any more time," Father Alexander cleared his throat. It was most unusual to be performing a Nuptial Mass in an empty church straight after the mid-week Benediction. It was even more unusual to be marrying one of the Abbey's postulants to one of the country's most famous men. But the Reverend Mother's pleas had worn him down. Besides, these were unusual times. In the past months, he'd converted many more Jews to Catholicism than he had in his previous thirty years. Far be it for him to question any of this.

Nodding to the Captain, he looked down the aisle towards the back of the church and nodded to the older woman standing in front of Maria, who he'd come to know during her time at the Abbey. As he watched the Captain turn to look down the aisle, the pipe organ began to play.

Yes, this was going to be a very unusual marriage…

ooooXXXXoooo

Georg was back sitting in one of the most uncomfortable chairs he'd ever encountered. It was difficult to believe that it had only been yesterday when he'd sat here telling the Reverend Mother that Maria had accepted his marriage proposal. Today's conversation wasn't as difficult as yesterday's, but he still felt the keen glare of the Reverend Mother on him. And he was still shuffling in his seat.

Max was beside him, sitting where Maria had been yesterday, accepting another cup of tea to help wash down his third pastry. Or was it his fourth? They were seated in front of the Reverend Mother's large desk waiting for Maria to change into something more suitable.

"Reverend Mother, I really must ask you to pass on my compliments to your cook," Max brushed the crumbs from his hands onto the half empty plate on the desk in front of him. "And I thought your cook was wonderful, Georg," he added

"I'll let the sisters know, Herr Detweiler," the Reverend Mother smiled. The nuns who volunteered to work in the kitchen had definitely outdone themselves this morning. There had been much excitement when they'd heard that not only would there be a wedding at the Chapel, but that it would be Maria marrying Captain von Trapp. It was a shame they couldn't join their guests, but at least she could pass on their thanks. "They will be thrilled to know you've enjoyed their food," she added casting a glance at his near empty plate.

"Captain, we've packed some food for you to take with you, but would you like another one?" she'd noticed that he'd only eaten a piece of strudel.

"Thank you, Reverend Mother, but I'll wait until we're on the road," Georg smiled at her. "It was delicious, please do thank the sisters."

"You're keen to leave, aren't you?" the Reverend Mother looked at the Captain intently.

"Is it that obvious?" Georg decided that very little escaped the Reverend Mother's attention.

"Oh, come on, Georg, you've been fidgeting since we sat down," Max arched a brow in his friend's direction, barely hiding his amusement between mouthfuls of sweet black tea. He'd seen the unholy looks Georg had been giving his young bride earlier in the church.

"Ehrm, yes, well we do have a long drive ahead of us," Georg answered back, shooting Max a dark look. But in truth, that was only part of it. Sitting here under the watchful gaze of the Reverend Mother, made him feel so damn uncomfortable. He still couldn't help feeling like he'd stolen one of her postulants out from under her. Even though he was certain Maria had been sent to the villa as governess because of her unsuitability for the Abbey.

He'd come to that conclusion himself before the end of her first day at the villa. It had only been confirmed when he'd found her singing and dancing around her room in front of the children in nothing but her billowing nightgown. He smiled to himself. There certainly wouldn't be any need for _that_ nightgown tonight. Not for what he had in mind…

"Another cup of tea, Captain?" His thoughts were interrupted by the Reverend Mother. _Oh God, could the woman read his mind?_

Clearing his throat again, he nodded and mumbled his thanks. "Perhaps I will have another," he mumbled. It was ridiculous, he realised as he shuffled in his seat. After all, Maria was now his wife. He shouldn't feel guilty. But still, it was a little awkward sitting here with Max and the Reverend Mother while his mind drifted dangerously to less pure thoughts. Of course, Max wasn't helping the situation. He was deliberately adding to his discomfort.

"I might have another perhaps," Georg gave the Reverend Mother a shy smile as he reached across the desk to the plate filled with pastries. Anything to distract him.

"I'm sure they won't be much longer," the Reverend Mother assured him. She'd been entertaining the Captain and his friend in her office for a short while now, and it was difficult not to notice the Captain's unease.

Georg nodded and smiled. His solicitor had dropped off all the paperwork they'd need for crossing into Italy and their marriage certificate was safely in his top pocket. It was pleasing to know that the Nazis hadn't quite infiltrated every corner of the city. Not yet, anyway. It was still possible to get some things processed expeditiously without their knowledge.

But he wasn't sure how long their marriage would go unnoticed or their absence from the villa. Surely, they would be well over the border by then. The announcement was prepared and ready to be published in Friday's newspaper. But, right now, all he needed now was his wife. His heart started pounding a little faster at the thought of her. It always did.

He smiled vaguely as he half listened to Max trying to convince the Reverend Mother that they should enter the Abbey's choir in the Festival. A small group of nuns had sung hymns during the ceremony, and Max was right, it had been beautiful. Little wonder their singing had captured the attention of Maria as a young girl. As he tried to stave off stray thoughts of Maria, he decided he should save the Reverend Mother from Max's relentless nagging. Even though he was sure this woman could withstand almost anything.

"Reverend Mother, I'm not sure how I can ever thank you for all you've done," Georg said when Max finally stopped to take a mouthful of strudel. "Thank you. For everything."

"You don't have to thank me, Captain. Seeing Maria so happy is more than enough reward," she replied warmly. "Just promise me you'll look after her. She means a lot to us." Despite all the trouble Maria had given them, her warm, open heart had touched all of them during her time at the Abbey. "She's been through a lot, Captain," she added, fixing him with a serious look.

"She told me..." Georg said quietly, his voice catching as he recalled the harrowing story of Maria's childhood. "But you have my word, I won't let any harm come to her. Not while there's still breath in my body..."

"I know, Captain. Thank you," the Reverend Mother nodded her thanks. She knew Maria was in safe hands when she'd first sent her to the von Trapp's as governess at the beginning of the summer. She'd been hoping to steer Maria toward a future in teaching. Never had she imagined that Maria and Captain von Trapp would fall in love. Who could have predicted that? Yes, the Lord certainly works in mysterious ways.

The Reverend Mother's thoughts were interrupted by a knock at the door. "Ave," she called out. The heavy wooden door was opened slowly by Maria in a simple summer dress followed closely by Frau Schmidt. The Reverend Mother's eyes were fixed on the Captain, watching his reaction. She smiled to herself as his eyes suddenly lit up and his expression softened at the sight of Maria.

Yes, Maria was definitely in safe hands...

ooooXXXXoooo

"It was a lovely thought, Georg," Maria slowly twirled the bunch of edelweiss in her hand, the small star-like flowers caught the sunlight as it streamed through the car window.

"I know they're your favourite, Fraulein," he said as he reached over and placed his hand tenderly on her leg. Soon after returning from Vienna, they'd become something of symbol of their _shared understanding._ An uneasy truce of sorts, declared tentatively after the altercation on the landing.

He'd already apologised on the staircase, but it was later that afternoon when Brigitta appeared at his study with a single edelweiss that had somehow been left out of Elsa's bouquet. Or had it fallen out? Either way, his daughter had insisted that he give it to Fraulein Maria to let her know he was sorry for yelling at her.

It had sat, forgotten on his desk until later that evening. While they'd sat discussing the children, the sprig of edelweiss had caught Maria's attention. Gripped by a moment of madness, he'd found himself apologising again and awkwardly holding the flower across the desk towards her. At the time, he'd told himself he was just humouring his daughter, who he knew would check up on him. But later, he wasn't so sure. For hours, while he lay in bed in the pitch dark staring at the ceiling, he'd wondered if he'd completely lost his mind. It had been worth it, though, just to see her blush.

Since then, the small white flower had become something special. His mind replayed that faltering, awkward moment when Maria had thrust her guitar in his arms. Before he knew what was happening, he was strumming a melody he'd spent the past four years trying to forget. He was lamenting a homeland that was slipping away from him, the heartache of a love lost, a desperate, hopeful plea for an uncertain future. All in the guise of a small white flower. And all the while, losing himself completely, and hopelessly, in the depths of his governess' eyes.

In that moment it had become clear. Their _shared understanding_ had grown into something much deeper. It had suddenly flared into something undeniable and impossible to ignore...

"Everything had been so rushed…" he continued abruptly, trying to explain. "I wanted to give you something special…" he added softly.

"Georg, they're perfect…" she replied absentmindedly, her mind drifting back to that evening at the villa. Edelweiss always did.

"Who would have thought it would be so damn difficult to find a bunch of edelweiss in Salzburg?" Georg cursed, interrupting Maria's thoughts.

"Georg, it doesn't matter now," Maria turned to smile at him.

"Maria, I was late for our wedding!" he replied sharply.

"Oh, I don't mind! I'm late for everything!" Maria turned to smile at him, and watched him scowling at the road ahead. "Georg, I was sure something awful had happened. But I'm just thankful it didn't…" she said quietly. In truth, she'd felt like her world had been ripped out from under her. She looked down and took hold of his hand.

She'd caught a glimpse of her world without Georg, and it had terrified her. She glanced up at him, realising for the first time just how Agathe's passing could have left this strong, noble man so utterly devastated. "I was so relieved to hear you cursing at the Chapel door…" Maria smiled again, trying to lighten the mood as she squeezed his hand.

"I'm so sorry I worried you," he turned his eyes from the road for a moment. It had been impulsive, racing off to find a bunch of flowers. It had been so long since he'd done anything impulsive. But then, hadn't today been just that? Secretly marrying the woman he'd fallen desperately in love with, rather than Elsa, the woman most would consider a better match. And here they were, leaving behind their beloved country and the place of so many treasured memories for an uncertain future in another land.

But he wouldn't have it any other way. Lifting his arm behind Maria's shoulders, he gently pulled her across the bench seat so that she was leaning against him, burrowed in the crook of his arm. They'd only just left the outskirts of Salzburg behind and were picking up speed along the open road. There was a long drive ahead of them, but as Georg expertly guided the car with one hand on the steering wheel, he didn't mind as long as Maria was with him.

"Just promise me one thing," he murmured to her as he kissed her forehead.

"Anything, Georg," Maria answered, wondering if the world could be any more perfect than it was right in that moment.

"Let's just keep this our secret…?" Georg asked sheepishly.

Maria placed a hand on his leg as she sat up straighter and turned to look at him. She started giggling, thinking how much fun the children would have at their father's expense. He was so _military_ about time. The complete opposite of her. She arched a brow at him.

"For God's sake, Fraulein, please don't tell the children…"

Pulling her closer, Georg's laughter quickly drowned out Maria's giggles.

They still had a long road ahead of them, but at last, it felt like they were safe, in their own little world. Finally…

 **Thank you everyone for continuing to read and review my story.**

 **Apologies for the delay in posting this chapter. I struggled with where I should end this one, and because of that, I've actually written the next chapter as well. But it was just going to be the most ridiculously long chapter ever (even by my standards…). I'll post the second part in a few days. In the meantime, I hope you've enjoyed this one!**

 **Please check out "Private Universe" by Crowded House. Once again, just the most beautiful lyrics anyone could imagine. I think it sums up the little bubble Maria and Georg find themselves in for the moment… well, until the rest of the world catches up with them!**

 **As you all know by now, I don't own TSOM, just having a lend.**

 **"** **Immerse your soul in love"**


	22. Chapter 22

**Let's sway  
You could look into my eyes  
Let's sway under the moonlight  
This serious moonlight**

 **And if you say run, I'll run with you**  
 **And if you say hide, we'll hide**  
 **Because my love for you**  
 **Would break my heart in two**  
 **If you should fall**  
 **Into my arms**  
 **And tremble like a flower**

 **Let's dance**  
 **Let's dance**  
 **Let's dance**  
 **Let's sway**

 **"** **Let's Dance" David Bowie "Let's Dance" (1983)**

The shadows were lengthening as they approached the outskirts of Udine, a town that lay between the Austrian border and Italy's Adriatic coast. They'd made good time after finally leaving Salzburg, despite the slow, winding road. Georg glanced across to Maria. For a short time, after they'd arrived at the border and presented their papers at the checkpoint, she'd continued pointing out things along the roadside as they came down the southern side of the Alps.

He smiled to himself. Since they'd left Salzburg, she'd been like an excited child. Everything was new, and she didn't know where to look first. He'd never tire of seeing the world through her eyes. Even this road, that he'd travelled more times than he could remember. But for the last half hour, sleep had finally won out. Her long lashes were resting on top of her cheeks, her lips parted slightly as her breathing came deep and slow. She was turned, facing him, one cheek squashed adorably against the back of the black leather seat.

His thoughts were broken by Maria mumbling something as she stirred, before settling back against the seat. He glanced at her, wondering what she'd been dreaming about as they wound their way down the Alps. Was it him? He hoped so, as he watched the tiniest smile tug at her lips, before turning his attention back to the road.

He couldn't wait to show her the coast tomorrow. The crystal blue water that stretched beyond the horizon was his second home. Well, it had been. Perhaps it was his first home now. After abandoning the villa to the madness in Austria, they probably didn't have a place to call home anymore. He'd always imagined growing old at the villa, surrounded by family and memories. He'd never imagined being anywhere else.

But glancing back to Maria, watching her leaning back into the seat with her legs curled up beside her, he knew none of that really mattered. As long as he had her and children. Wherever she was, that would be his home.

Reaching across with his left hand, he gently touched her leg. Squeezing it tenderly, he smiled at the road ahead as he felt her moving and stretching underneath his hand.

"Oh, Georg…" Maria murmured, rubbing her eyes. "How long have I been asleep?"

"Not long…" Georg's vague reply was tinged with a little guilt. He'd promised her hours ago that he wouldn't let her fall asleep. She'd been stifling yawns and rubbing her eyes well before they crossed the border, so it had been little surprise when he turned earlier to find her sleeping soundly. He still worried about her doing too much, so he'd resisted the temptation to wake her.

"We've just been coming down the mountains, so you haven't missed anything," Georg smiled at her. "But now we're heading into Udine. It's such a beautiful town," he added.

Maria squeezed the hand that was still resting on her leg. She was already looking out the car at the newer houses on the outskirts giving way to the older buildings. "It's similar to parts of Salzburg, but still so very different…" she said as she watched the buildings flash by.

"I know you're desperate to see the children, Maria," Georg gently squeezed her leg. "But we'll stay here tonight." Despite recovering quickly from her illness, he didn't want her tiring herself out. God knows, the past few days had been busy, and he didn't want her falling ill again. But really, that was only part of the reason for staying overnight.

It actually wasn't that much further to Trieste, a little more than an hour, perhaps two. Soon, the sun would dip below the horizon, which would mean they'd arrive at Trieste in the dark. He wanted it to be daylight when they caught their first glimpse of the Adriatic. Weeks ago, in his study, Maria had picked up a framed photograph of him commanding one of the U-boats. As she ran her thumb across the photograph, she'd told him dreamily that she'd never seen the sea before. He couldn't wait to share that first moment. The excitement when she first saw the bright blue water stretching out as far as the eye could see. But, holding himself a little tighter, he admitted that was only part of the reason for breaking the journey.

In truth, his reasons for booking a room tonight were far less noble. Tonight, their first of many, she would be his. He would have her all to himself and, finally, he wouldn't have to share her with anyone. Wouldn't have to keep a respectable distance. Wouldn't have to keep reminding himself to stop the unguarded looks that lingered too long, the thoughts that strayed too far. Tonight, there would be no more time spent denying, pretending, holding back. He wanted her, and he would take…

"Ehrm…" he cleared his throat, realising that he'd become horribly distracted and was only partway through explaining his plans for the night. "I had a room booked for us."

"Sounds wonderful…" Maria stretched her legs out in front of her. As much as she wanted to see the children, she was more than a little nervous about meeting Georg's sister and the children's grandmother for the first time. Frau Schmidt had assured her that both women were lovely, and they had both been very kind to her on the telephone. But that was when she was the governess. She was worried that might change when she suddenly turned up as Georg's wife. And how would the children feel? She still wasn't sure that they were going to accept their news. Turning to smile at Georg, she was more than happy to delay all of that for another day.

And, despite her little nap, she was feeling tired. She'd hardly slept last night. Reluctantly, they'd both agreed to spend their last night at the villa in their own rooms. She'd missed Georg. After all, he'd stayed with her every night since the party. She'd grown used to the comfort of hearing his heavy breathing from the chair beside the bed or feeling the warmth of his strong arms wrapped around her. She'd missed him terribly last night. And Herr Zeller's threats hadn't helped. They'd kept nagging away in the back of her mind, despite Georg's assurances. And then there had been the excitement of the wedding and their trip to Trieste to join the children.

But there had been something else keeping her awake last night, leaving her restless and unsettled. Georg's musky scent had been lingering on her skin, a constant, nagging reminder of their heated kisses and desperate touches. Lying in the pitch dark of her bedroom, her thoughts kept finding their way back to those moments they'd shared earlier in the evening on the study sofa.

She could still feel his mouth on hers. His kisses, gentle at first, growing more demanding, until they were nearly turning her inside out. As she lay alone in her bed, her skin couldn't forget his insistent fingers finding their way under the hem of her skirt, skating up her leg, setting her on fire. His kisses had left her dizzy, gasping for air, long before his other hand had somehow found its way under her bodice, sending her mind reeling.

All the while, as his kisses had grown more impatient, relentless, his body pressed her deeper into the sofa. Glancing down at Georg's hand on her leg, her body was desperate for more. So much more. It was like a slow, throbbing ache. And her dream hadn't helped the situation. Even now, she could still feel his hands, those needy kisses. Taste him. Hear his groans ringing in…

"I had Joseph arrange a place for us just out of town," Georg interrupted Maria's thoughts. He owed his trusted solicitor much more than the large bonus he'd left him. Glancing at Maria, he noticed her chewing her bottom lip. "Anything wrong?" he asked quietly as he lifted his hand off her leg and ran the back of his finger down her flushed cheek.

"Fine, Georg…" Maria answered a little too quickly, not daring to look at him. "Everything's just perfect…"

"Good," he narrowed his eyes a little as he noticed her shallow breathing. For a stray moment, his eyes were drawn down to her chest. With a practiced eye, honed over a summer of keen observation, he watched the rise and fall of her chest coming a little faster than usual. For the countless time that day, he dared to imagine what lay beyond the scooped neckline of her dress. Tightening his grip on the steering wheel, he quickly shifted his eyes back to the safety of the road. As as he slowed the car, he reluctantly lifted his hand from Maria to the gear shift on the column. Smoothly changing to a lower gear, he turned left off the main road.

"Maria?" he asked, stealing a sideways glance.

"Yes, Georg?" she answered turning to him, still struggling to compose herself.

"If there was something wrong, you would tell me, wouldn't you?" his hand left the steering wheel for a moment as he squeezed Maria's hand that was gripping the edge of the seat between them.

"Of course, I would…" she turned her hand in his and gave it a reassuring squeeze. Turning to look out the side window, she wasn't sure what Georg was expecting from his wife. But she was sure he wouldn't be expecting such shameful thoughts.

Before long, they were turning left again onto another road that was taking them out of town in a different direction. After travelling a short distance through some green fields bordered by timber fences, they were soon pulling through an imposing stone gateway and onto a gravel driveway.

"Oh, Georg, it's beautiful," Maria gasped. A long expanse of lawn was dotted with tiny white daisies and swept up to a cream coloured two-storey villa. "It's like something out of a fairy tale."

Georg stopped the car just inside the gateway, still some distance from the villa. He couldn't stop himself as he reached behind Maria's shoulders and pulled her across the bench seat towards him. As she turned towards him questioningly, he bent down, intending to brush her lips with his. Just a hint of what was to come. But instead, he caught her lips in such a long, searing kiss, even he was surprised by its ferocity. "I promise you, darling…" he tried to catch his breath as he whispered into the shell of her ear, sending a shiver through her. "This will be far better than any fairy tale."

Maria reached up and cupped Georg's cheek. "It already is…" she whispered, as she lost herself in one of his smouldering looks.

Georg bent down and brushed her lips with his. "Let's get you inside, Fraulein…" he said softly. Forcing his attention away from her, he cleared his throat as he released the clutch and slowly drove up the driveway towards the villa. He followed the circular drive, pulling up alongside an alcove at the front door.

Turning off the ignition, he turned to Maria and kissed her forehead before letting himself out. Walking around the car, he opened the passenger door and watched her slide across the seat. He smiled as she took his outstretched hand and made her way to her feet.

"Captain and Baroness von Trapp, welcome to Villa Miotti de Braida." Georg, still holding Maria's hand, turned to the voice behind him. He nodded to the porter. "Please make your way inside. I'll bring your bags and we'll take care of your car."

"Just the two bags on the back seat, thank you," Georg answered back in fluent Italian. He turned back to Maria and saw her look of surprise. Unsure if it was because he'd spoken a language other than German, or whether she'd recognised being addressed as Baroness von Trapp for the first time, he squeezed her hand reassuringly. "Come on, darling," he said softly as he let her hand go and placed his hand on the small of her back.

Maria smiled up at him as they walked across the gravel and up the stone steps. The front door was opened for them by a young doorman who greeted them and bowed. Stopping in the doorway, Maria gasped as she looked up at the ornate wooden staircase that dominated the foyer. Georg's hand gently encouraged her forward.

"Let me show you to your room, Captain von Trapp," a second porter said in Italian.

Georg nodded, and they followed the man in his dark uniform up the imposing staircase towards the second floor. Turning left at the landing, they made their way up the next flight of stairs and walked along a hallway dotted with paintings in gilded frames that hung between several large wooden doors. The porter stopped at the end of the hallway to open a heavy wooden door.

"This is our best suite, Captain, I'm sure you'll find everything in order," the porter announced proudly as he stepped aside to let his guests pass. "The dining room has just opened, it will be open until late," he continued as he followed Georg and Maria into their suite.

"Thank you, we'll order room service later," Georg told the young man. "After we've rested from the long drive," he added, before realising that he was sharing too much information with the porter.

Glancing around, Maria could see they were in a small sitting room. A luxurious sofa and two matching armchairs filled half the room. Behind the sofa, at the end of the room, there was a small dining table and chairs. She had no idea what Georg and the porter were discussing, so was soon leaving them behind in the small sitting room while she went to explore. Walking through the double doors at the opposite end of the room, she stopped, wide-eyed, as she found herself in the most lavish bedroom she'd ever seen. She had always thought her room at the villa was enormous, but compared to this one, it was tiny.

Georg's conversation with the porter was drifting through the doors from the sitting room, so she resisted the temptation to flop in the middle of the large bed that dominated one side of the room. It just looked so soft! Like an enormous pile of feathers, stacked high with pillows. French doors were staggered along the far wall, letting the last of the late afternoon sun stream into the room. Between the doors, sheer curtains and velvety looking drapes hung from just below the high ceiling and almost reached the floor.

One of the sheer curtains moved, catching her eye, and she realised that a pair of French doors were open. Slowly dragging her fingers along the plush quilt as she walked around the edge of the enormous bed, she made her way out onto a balcony that ran the length of the room.

The view from the balcony looked over an expanse of trees that ran along the side of the villa. If she turned left, she could see the driveway in the distance with the perfectly manicured lawn either side. Maria turned around as she heard the unmistakable timbre of Georg's voice, still in an unfamiliar language. She couldn't see him from where she was. But it was enough just hearing him, knowing that he was close. Turning her attention back to the view, she rested her hands on the balustrade.

Catching the sunlight, the unfamiliar, solitary gold band on her finger caught her eye. Lifting her other hand off the balustrade, she ran her thumb slowly along the ring. It was a perfect fit, but still turned on her finger. As a breath of warm summer breeze ruffled her hair, she smiled and turned back to the view. Everything was bathed in that golden orange glow of the late afternoon sun, just before it falls away to the edge of the Earth. Just as it bids farewell for another day and kisses the horizon…

She sucked in her breath. _Kisses. Oh, my!_ Her mind was suddenly back in the front seat of the car. Back in the driveway, down near the front gate. Turning and looking down towards the imposing stone gateway, she touched her fingertips to her lips. Finally. At last. She was alone with Georg. Well, she soon would be.

Her mind quickly left the front seat of the car and flew to the enormous bed in the room behind her. She turned around slowly, but quickly spun back to the view. She held onto the balustrade a little tighter. She'd been desperate to kiss him, properly kiss him, all day. Since he'd appeared in the Chapel. Her dream, that kiss in the car minutes ago, had left her more than a little restless. As she stole another look back to the bed, she wondered if her Captain would be shocked to know what thoughts were running through her mind. Feeling her anticipation gathering pace, her heart started beating a little faster…

"Yes, right. I'm sure we have everything we need. We'll be right, thank you," Georg nodded to the two young porters as he ushered them out of the small sitting room and into the hallway. The one who'd greeted them in the driveway, had arrived with their bags and the key to the car. They'd wanted to explain every damn thing in the room, a little too keen for his liking.

"If we get stuck, we'll ask at reception," he promised, closing the door behind them and turning the lock for good measure. They knew he'd reached the rank of captain, did they not think he could navigate his way around a damn hotel suite? He realised they were only doing their jobs, but honestly, what made them think he'd rather spend another minute of his evening with them rather than his wife.

Georg stopped, catching his breath at the thought. His wife… He could feel his pulse quicken. Taking a few steadying breaths, he reminded himself they had all night. As much as he wanted to race into the bedroom and take her in his arms, there was no need to hurry. Still, he felt a rush at the thought of them finally being alone. But right now, he was trying to ignore that his body was already starting to stir.

Reminding himself, again, to slow things down, his thumb and forefinger twisted the three buttons on his suit jacket free from their buttonholes. Tugging it off, he hung it on the back of one of the chairs placed around the small dining table. He yanked impatiently at his tie, cursing as he tried to loosen it. _For God's sake, settle down man!_ He really was acting like some anxious youth, raging with hormones.

Slowing down, taking his time, he threaded his tie over his head and lay it over the back of the chair, on top of his jacket. He released the top buttons of his crisp white shirt and stopped to take a few deep breaths. It had felt warm in the suite when they first walked in from the hallway, now it felt stifling. Unthreading his gold cufflinks, he placed them carefully on the table.

His eyes lingered on them wistfully. They'd been a gift from Agathe, one of her last. He'd rarely worn them. Like so many things, they'd held too much pain and too many memories that he couldn't face. He reached down and picked one up, running his thumb lovingly across its flat surface. "I promised you I would, but it was a promise I never intended to keep," he whispered. How could he have ever imagined falling in love again? He smiled, placing the cufflink on the table next to its pair, feeling strangely at peace.

Sobered a little by thoughts of Agathe, Georg ran a hand through his hair as he paused to take a deep, steadying breath. Rolling up the sleeves of his shirt, he turned from the sitting room towards the bedroom. Now, where was he beautiful, gorgeous wife? As he walked through the double doors he stopped to look around.

He pulled up, staring at the enormous bed. He'd been so desperate to usher the two young porters out of the suite, he hadn't paid this room too much attention. But now that he was here standing at the foot of the bed, alone at last with Maria, it was all he could think of.

He had to find her. _Oh God, he needed her_. Anticipation and excitement were coursing through his body. Forcing his eyes from the bed he noticed the door to the bathroom slightly ajar. She must be freshening up. He smiled as he started striding across to the ensuite, "Ma-ri-a…" he whispered playfully as he gradually pushed the door open. But the room was empty. Where on Earth was she?

Turning around, he noticed a pair of French doors open. Desperate to feel her, needing to hold her, he quickly made his way across the room. It was useless trying to slow down now. Stopping in the doorway, he smiled. He'd finally found her, on the balcony. He needed her. He'd needed her for so long now. But something held him back. Her back was to him as she leaned on the balustrade. She was humming to herself. _God, would he ever tire of her voice?_ He could listen to her for hours.

Crossing his arms, he leaned against the door frame as he closed his eyes. Just for a moment, if only to steady himself. She was humming _that_ tune. He smiled. As he opened his eyes and looked on, he could feel that all too familiar stirring, his body responding to her. But tonight, it would be different to all those nights over the past weeks. There would be no denying, no spending the night alone. No desperate longing eating away into the early hours of the morning. His fingers were burning just to touch her.

Pushing himself off the door frame, he stepped quietly onto the balcony. He took a few small, silent steps behind her, his eyes slowly raking over her. Her tiny waist. Her small backside poking out behind her as she leaned on the balustrade. His beautiful wife, his gorgeous Maria. Finally, after all this time, he didn't have to guard his looks, try to suppress his body's reactions. He was flexing his fingers before he even realised, resisting the temptation to reach out and pull her into his arms. He wanted to savour every moment.

As he looked on, she began to sway her hips in time to the tune she was humming. She was in her own little world, completely unaware of him. _God, she was adorable. Oh, God, she was his. All his._ Smiling broadly, he took another step. He was close behind her now. Barely a step away. So close now, the warm summer breeze was carrying her scent toward him. He closed his eyes for a moment and breathed her in. It was like she was beckoning him to join her. And, as usual, he was powerless to stop his body responding. The sound of her voice, her sweet aroma, the image of her hips swaying in a slow, gentle rhythm, as if she was calling out to him.

Unable to resist any longer, he opened his eyes and took the final step towards her as he reached out with both hands, clasping her hips and gently pulling her back against him, catching her against his body. He smiled as she gasped and jumped a little before leaning back and settling against his warmth and muscle.

"What has your attention out here, Fraulein?" Georg's baritone whispered in the shell of her ear, sending a shiver down her spine.

"Well, it _was_ the beautiful summer evening... But now…" Maria smiled. Her heart skipped a beat as his strong hands moved from her hips, and down the front of her thighs, pulling her back, tighter against him. "And what brings _you_ out here, Captain?"

"Finally, after getting rid of those two young porters," he rested his cheek against her hair, closing his eyes and enjoying the feel of her body on his, "…well, something strange happened…"

"Strange? How so?" Maria asked him, closing her eyes and losing herself in his muskiness and muscle.

"I couldn't find my wife," Georg bent down and leisurely kissed the back of her neck, just below her cropped hair. He felt her quiver against him, instantly encouraging his lips back to her skin. His hands were moving on her thighs as he left a trail of lazy butterfly kisses, his lips lingering, his tongue flicking her exposed neck.

"You lost your wife?" Maria teased, realising it wouldn't be long before she had her last coherent thought. "Well, that seems rather careless, Captain," her voice was already pitched a little higher. Her breathing was coming a little faster, a little shallower, from all the attention of his mouth on her neck, from his hands gently kneading and exploring.

"Yes… It was careless…" he wrapped a strong arm around her waist, and she instinctively gripped around his bare forearm, as she tried to steady herself.

"So…" feeling lightheaded, Maria took in a deep breath. "Where is this wife of yours?" Although it was still so new, she'd never tire of thinking of herself as Georg's wife. It made her smile.

"Hmmm?" Georg bent to place a lingering kiss on her neck, concentrating on the sensitive skin behind her ear. "Well… I got horribly distracted…" he bent down and his mouth continued an unhurried path down her neck, slowly tracking toward her shoulder. His skilful mouth was tugging gently as he traced a path in search of her pulse, dragging his lips as he tasted her sweetness with his tongue, teasing and nipping gently with his teeth.

"D…Distracted…?" Maria could barely manage a hoarse whisper, her skin felt like it was on fire.

"Distracted…" Georg declared as he lifted his mouth from her shoulder and rested his cheek against her hair. Unable to resist any longer, he pulled her flush against him, pinning her to him with his arm around her waist. He needed her to know what she was doing to him, to feel how much he needed her.

His lips were back on her neck, needing to feel and taste more of her, as he continued his slow, lazy search for the pulse he knew would be thundering for him. Finding it, teasing it, lingering for a moment, he continued a fiery trail towards her shoulder. As she leaned back against him, Georg could feel her nails digging deeper into his arm as she clung to him. But he felt no pain, just more encouragement for his mouth to continue playing and tormenting the sensitive skin at the base of her neck.

"Mmmm… distracted… by the most gorgeous woman…" That cool summer dress of hers had been teasing him all afternoon. The fitted bodice, the dipping neckline, the buttoned-up front. And now, from where he stood behind her, he could catch a hint of what lay underneath. Maria let out a moan and pushed back against him. _Oh, God, it was the most erotic sound._ She rolled her head to the side, against his shoulder.

Unable to slow down now that he had a clear path, his head dipped over her shoulder so he could nip at the soft skin along her collarbone. She moaned again as his mouth lapped along her collarbone. He could barely think, had completely forgotten they were standing out on the balcony.

"This gorgeous woman, she was humming… swaying on my balcony…" he dragged his mouth away from her to whisper in the shell of her ear, sending a wave of quivers through Maria's body. "I think I might ask her to dance…" smiling, he drew her earlobe into his mouth. She moaned louder, clinging tighter to his arm.

Maria's eyes were closed as she leaned back into Georg. His words, low and dangerous, were making her heart race. His touch, his kisses, the feel of his stubble scraping on her skin, setting it on fire, were all she could think of. But before she could even try to make sense of her muddled thoughts, the hand around her waist was gently spinning her around. She opened her eyes and gasped. Even in the dusky evening light, she could feel herself withering under the intensity of his blackening eyes.

"D…dance…?" Maria stammered in a strangled whisper. Surely, he didn't expect her to dance? Not right now. At the moment, she'd struggle to remember her own name, let alone dance steps. "Do…do…you want to dance the Laendler?" she somehow managed to whisper. After all, that's what she'd been humming.

Georg was still holding onto Maria's waist with one hand, the other he brought up to her cheek. "I thought about it. But not the Laendler, darling. Not tonight…" he held himself a little tighter, as he felt his control slip yet another notch. Maria was staring up at him, her blue eyes widening with anticipation, darkening with desire. "Tonight, we're going to learn a new dance…." he purred. "Together…"

If there was any air left in Maria's lungs, the intensity of Georg's eyes was forcing it out into the short space between them. She was sure she'd forgotten how to breathe. Forgotten how to speak. Forgotten everything. Everything else, the stunning view, the setting sun, all of it had disappeared. Forgotten long ago. She'd even forgotten about the enormous bed just behind them. The warm summer air seemed to be getting heavier, more heated. Perhaps that's why it was becoming more difficult to breathe. She couldn't think.

Georg moved his hand from her cheek and held it out in the heavy air beside them. "May I have this dance…" he whispered dangerously.

Maria's eyes never left Georg's. She wasn't even sure if she was still blinking. All she could manage was the tiniest nod. Instinctively, she moved her hand out to take his and he quickly wrapped his fingers around hers. Her other hand had found its way to his upper arm, grabbing at his shirt, clutching at his muscles. She wished they weren't standing so far apart. Even in a waltz pose, it was too far away. They still hadn't moved. They just stood still, staring at each other. She wanted him to kiss her again. And again…

Smiling at her, Georg gently pulled Maria closer. Much closer. Closing his eyes, his body relaxed a little as he felt her lean into him, moulding against him. He could feel the rise and fall of her chest against his. Her hips pinned to his. _Oh, dear God!_ He tightened the arm that was draped around her waist. He needed her. Desperately. He needed to feel her body against his. Her skin against his skin.

He didn't want to rush her, but it was almost impossible to fight his body, trying to ignore it stirring. It had been for weeks. Now, it was roaring to life. "I love you so much, Maria," he whispered into her hair as he closed his eyes and started moving their bodies ever so gently. Swaying ever so slightly.

Maria's cheek was rested against Georg's chest. She smiled as their bodies moved together. At that moment, she knew that she could never tire of feeling his strong arms around her. His musky scent was filling her head, sending her giddy. Leaning into his body, feeling it move against hers, she was desperate for more.

He didn't want to scare her, wanted her to get used to the feel of his body moving against hers. Without realising, his hand had left her waist. Holding her to him, it was slowly working its way down her backside. He let go of her hand, and now both were splayed across her backside, pinning her hips against his. They'd barely moved from where they stood.

"Kiss me, Georg…" she whispered into his chest, feeling every inch of him against her.

"Maria… I need you…" he murmured in her ear.

"Georg…" it was a strangled plea.

Georg opened his eyes and lifted his cheek from her hair. She looked up at him, her cheeks flushed, her eyes dark and heavy with desire. He couldn't resist her any longer. Reaching down, he scooped her into his arms, grinning wickedly as she let out a squeal of surprise.

He lowered his mouth, desperate to kiss her, needing to taste her, possess her. His mouth claimed hers in a demanding, hungry kiss filled with a longing that had been building all day, probably all summer, and was now threatening to engulf them.

His tongue searched until he founds hers, as his kisses grew greedy, almost selfish. He'd promised himself he would take things slowly, but he needed her, couldn't stop himself. _Oh God, he was devouring her!_ She was moaning into his mouth, whispering his name over and over. Swallowing her whispers and moans, he couldn't hear anything else. Couldn't think of anything except trying to satisfy his need to claim her. _God, he needed to take her._ Now. His kisses were becoming rough, demanding. _God, he was possessed._ Hearing himself groan, he suddenly remembered himself, and reluctantly started pulling back.

Feeling his mouth moving from his, Maria reached up and grabbed a handful of Georg's hair, pulling his lips back before they had a chance to leave hers. Her other hand was clinging to his neck, desperate for him to continue what he'd started.

"Maria…" Georg managed to rasp against her mouth. He pulled back, his mouth only inches from hers as they both fought to fill their lungs with air.

Maria was looking up at Georg through dark eyes. His fringe had fallen over his forehead, and his eyes were black. Almost wild. Maria's hand stroked his cheek, the dark stubble rough under her soft skin as they both drew in mouthfuls of air. She pushed his hair back, away from his forehead. But it fell back stubbornly.

"Georg…" she could barely speak, was still struggling to breathe. But she needed him to know how much she wanted him.

"Maria… inside… let's take this inside…" Georg could barely manage to whisper as he carried her through the French doors towards the bed. "Maria, darling…. Let's make love…"

 **Thank you all for continuing to read and review.**

 **Please check out "Let's Dance" by the legendary David Bowie RIP. Hopefully, I've managed to capture just a little of this classic song's seductive mood.**

 **As you know, I don't own TSOM, just having a little lend.**

 **"** **Immerse your soul in love"**


	23. Chapter 23

**Sometimes, all I need is the air that I breathe  
And to love you  
All I need is the air that I breathe  
Yes, to love you**

 **"** **The Air That I Breathe" The Hollies "Hollies" (1974)**

Everything was still bathed in the warm glow of the evening's last light. As the warm summer breeze wound its way through the open French doors, it stirred the sheer curtains and made its way across the room to the bodies entwined on the bed. The only sound, other than the steady rhythm of their breathing, was a distant chorus of crickets, carried along on the breeze, floating up over the balcony and into the room.

Despite the tranquil summer evening spilling into the room and the gentle breeze tickling the bare skin of her back, Maria was wide awake. Alert. Senses buzzing, she didn't want to miss a moment. Even now, it felt like every nerve ending was still tingling. There was a delicious warmth, a layer of fuzziness, that seemed to have wrapped itself around her. Wrapping her in a strange, contented glow that she'd never known before in her life.

Just as comforting, Georg's arms were wrapped protectively around her. She smiled as she lay safely in the crook of his arm, her head resting on his bare chest. His heart had been thundering under her cheek, his chest rising and falling just as frantically. But as his arms had tightened around her, his breathing had eventually found a deep, steady rhythm. His heart had also slowed to a comforting, regular beat, and no longer seemed in danger of leaping out from underneath her.

Maria glanced up, her heart skipping a beat as she watched her usually strong, powerful Captain lying back into the pillow. He seemed so relaxed, so at peace. A lock of hair had fallen over his forehead. Any other time, it would be annoying him, and he'd be sweeping it back in place. But lying back, eyes closed, lips parted and breathing heavy, he seemed blissfully unaware of anything. He didn't seem to care. He looked so unguarded, so exposed and it was exhilarating to know that it was all because of her. She'd seen a beautiful, vulnerable side to him, one that he hid from the world. One that she'd never imagined existed.

Maria bit her lower lip. Georg was always so controlled, so composed. Over time, she'd caught glimpses of what lay beneath the reserved Captain. But he'd always seemed to hold something back, hide himself behind those aristocratic airs of his. But not tonight. Tonight, she'd seen the man beneath that mask. And she found it so _thrilling_.

In her dreams, he'd been gentle and caring. Even late at night, tossing and turning in her governess' bed as she tried to exorcise images of the Captain from her mind, she'd always imagined him as kind. But she could never have known just how tender and loving, how passionate. Her mind drifted back to earlier, when he'd carried her from the balcony and laid her gently on the bed.

She'd been nervous, after all she had no idea what to expect. She'd worried that she'd disappoint him. But he'd been so patient and gentle. He'd made her feel like the most precious thing in the world.

As he'd slowly undressed her, the initial embarrassment and awkwardness was soon forgotten with his whispered reassurances and murmured encouragement, giving her the confidence she needed. His gentle touches, the promise that they were about to share something wonderful, something beyond anything she had ever imagined, had been enough to settle and calm her.

Suddenly, her thoughts were interrupted as Georg made a strange snoring sound. She glanced up at him and held herself tight, wondering if he was going to wake himself. Within moments, he drew in a deep breath, and his chest was again rising and falling in a slow, steady rhythm. She smiled, there was still so much to get used to. It was all so new and unfamiliar. But she couldn't wait to continue their _journey of discovery_ , as Georg had described it.

She'd already discovered so much about Georg today. She hadn't realised how little she actually knew about him. Like the faded tattoo clinging to his bicep. Unable to stop her fingers, she lightly traced the blue-green lines, barely touching his skin. Apparently, a moment of madness with a group of his fellow navy cadets. A moment of madness, a lifetime of regret, Georg had said.

The tattoo wasn't the only thing she'd discovered from Georg's naval past. His body also bore many of the physical scars. She hadn't asked him about the silvery, jagged lines that marked him. Facing the scars that lay underneath the surface had been difficult enough. There would be time to learn more. But not tonight. Tonight, there were other things to learn.

Her pulse quickened a little as she remembered sitting on the bed. The covers had been pulled back hurriedly, roughly thrown over the edge of the bed on the floor. She'd watched on as Georg had stood up. His eyes never left hers, as he slowly undid the last of the buttons on his shirt. The ones she hadn't already found, wrapped her fingers around and released from their buttonholes earlier as they kissed. Before long, he was removing his trousers, his underwear. He was standing before her completely unclothed, the first time she'd seen a man naked.

She closed her eyes and took a deep breath, filling her mind with his musky scent. She should have been embarrassed, horribly self-conscious. But her gorgeous husband had already whispered his reassurances, had already put her at ease with his tender touches. Had already set her on fire with his soft lips, teased her with his mouth and sent her catapulting into another world under his relentless, tormenting tongue.

It wasn't cold, but Maria shivered as she remembered lying underneath him, her legs wrapped around him, clinging to him in case she was sent tumbling into the unknown without him. Finding pace with his steady rhythm, she'd never imagined that making love would be so primal, perhaps even a little undignified. _But, oh, so exhilarating_.

She blushed as she remembered all the unfamiliar sounds. Most of them hers. As they'd worked towards their eventual release, Georg had wrapped his arm around her shoulders and pulled her against him, his mouth finding hers. And then, before she could even stop to think, his mouth left hers. She'd looked into Georg's eyes as she felt the first wave, as her world began to explode around her, he'd let out a strangled cry, before collapsing. Still holding her, his arm wrapped around her shoulders, she'd fallen back into the bed. Pressed into the mattress underneath him.

She turned and kissed his chest as she remembered struggling to breathe, struggling to remember, trying to think. All she could do was cling to Georg, clutch his head tightly against her. He'd been mumbling something, it could have been anything. She couldn't hear it above the blood pounding in her ears. She'd run an unsteady hand through his hair as he lay on her. Not noticing his weight on her, she didn't know how long they lay there trying to find their way back, back from whatever world they'd both tumbled into. She was still running her fingers absentmindedly through his hair when he'd lifted his head and pulled himself up and rolled over, pulling her with him, into the crook of his arm.

Telling her that he just needed to close his eyes, just for a moment, he'd tightened his arms around her. But that had been a little while ago. She didn't mind though. She was happy to lie in his arms and recall everything, every little detail, of the first time they made love. She wanted to cherish every single moment.

Feeling curious, and perhaps a little bold as Georg slept, she glanced downward, hoping to catch a glimpse. Her eyes followed the valley of his chest, over his tight stomach muscles. But her eyes came to a stop at his arms wrapped around her waist. She turned and smiled into his chest, knowing that she was probably blushing furiously...

Georg settled back into the pillow. _God, had he woken himself up snoring?_ He just needed to close his eyes for a few more minutes. A little longer and he might have enough strength to lift his head off the pillow and think about something. Anything.

Right now, all he could manage to think about was holding Maria in his arms. He could feel her stirring a little. He smiled to himself as he felt her head move downwards, her delightful curiosity. After a little reassurance, her inquisitive nature had won out over the initial nerves and feelings of awkwardness.

For the moment, while the fogginess in his head cleared, he was happy to just soak in the warmth that had seeped through every pore of his skin, filling every part of his body. It had been so long. It seemed like a lifetime ago. He'd almost forgotten the overwhelming contentment and tranquility, the feelings of warmth and calm, that follow the euphoria of making love.

As Maria lay against him, clinging to him, her skin impossibly soft, he realised how much he'd missed the feel of a woman's smooth skin against him. As his mind began to clear, as he tried to claw his way back over the edge they'd both fallen over, thoughts of Maria came flooding back. He could still feel her moving underneath him, matching him, as her legs wrapped tighter around him. Her moans, her hands clutching, holding tighter, encouraging him. He remembered pulling her roughly to him with one arm, wanting to feel the waves of pleasure coursing through her body. Needing to feel each of them against him.

He cringed a little as he recalled the moment he let go. That moment when everything disappeared in an explosive surge of pleasure and primal release. He'd held her tighter, wrapped both arms around her, as they fell back. Still clinging to her, unable to move, he'd buried his head against her, whispering incoherent words and thoughts against the comfort of her soft breasts. _Oh God, he'd forgotten himself_. So, much for behaving like a gentleman for his new bride. When he'd finally found the strength to roll over, Maria had been holding him, stroking him, almost petting him, leaving breathless kisses in his hair.

Holding onto her arm, he ran his thumb gently back and forth, marvelling at the softness of her skin. He smiled as he felt movement on his chest, she was looking up at him again. He bent and kissed her forehead.

"How's my beautiful wife?" he whispered, forcing his heavy eyes open.

Unable to find her voice, Maria reached up and cupped Georg's cheek. She smiled at him, a smile filled with love and adoration, brushing his lips with hers. " _That_ was beautiful…" she murmured.

Feeling like his heart was going to burst, Georg grinned down at her. Turning his head, he glanced at the clock on the bedside table. In the twilight, he thought he could make out that it was almost 7 o'clock.

"Maria, I might go and order something for dinner," he ran his fingers through her hair. "What do you feel like?"

"Surprise me, Georg," Maria replied. They hadn't stopped for lunch during the drive from Salzburg, so had only snacked on the pastries from the Abbey. It was only now that she realised she was even hungry. "Don't worry about dessert. We've still got some pastries," she added lazily.

Georg kissed the top of her head and reluctantly unwrapped his arms from her, so she could roll away from him. "Back in a minute…" he whispered before rolling back towards her and kissing her on the mouth.

Watching him roll over and sit on the edge of the bed, Maria's heartbeat quickened a little as she watched the muscles moving across his back as he took a moment to stretch. He pushed himself up from the bed, and he walked towards the sitting room, not bothering to cover himself. Not realising she was holding her breath, her eyes followed him until he disappeared through the doorway.

She smiled as she heard a muffled curse, followed by a light from the sitting room being turned on, spilling light across the darkening bedroom. As his voice drifted through to the bedroom in unfamiliar Italian, Maria rolled over onto her side to face the windows. She could see a blush of pink across the sky, the sun having all but set for the day. A warm breeze was still wafting gently through the open doors, making the curtains look a little ghostlike in the strange half-light of the twilight…

Having ordered dinner, Georg hung up the telephone. He'd asked them to bring it to their room in an hour, giving them plenty of time to bathe and dress. Turning back towards the bedroom, his footsteps cushioned by the thick carpet underneath, he came to a stop in the doorway. The soft light from the sitting room barely reached the bed, but its soft glow mingled strangely with the fading light. He smiled. Maria was on the far side of the bed, leaning on her side with her head resting on her hand, her elbow propped up on the pillow. She was looking out the French doors, adorably lost in thought.

He could feel himself stirring as he stood still, eyes raking down the length of her body. Flexing his fingers, desperate to touch her, wanting her again. He had to feel her soft body against his. Making his way across the room, Georg knelt on the bed and crawled across the mattress towards Maria. As he loomed over her, she turned to him and met his grin with a smile of her own.

"It's so peaceful here, Georg," she cupped his cheek, whispering as if she was scared to break the spell.

Laying down on his side next to her, Georg reached around her waist and pulled her against him. He pushed his body against hers, feeling the relief of her soft skin moulding into him. Nuzzling against her neck, enjoying her sweet scent, her hand reached up to cradle his head to her.

"Dinner won't arrive for another hour, so you'll have time to freshen up," he said softly against her neck. "But there's no need to rush…"

Georg lifted his head from her shoulder as he ran a forefinger down her side. His eyes followed as his finger traced such a slow, seductive path, he could probably count each one of her ribs as his finger skated tenderly over them. His finger's leisurely path continued along the length of her, tracing the dip in her waist and then rising over her hip. Suddenly serious, he looked back at her, noticing that she seemed a little flushed.

"You must be hungry…" Maria said quietly, still running her fingers through his hair. He didn't have a sweet tooth like her, so had only eaten a few pastries on the way from Salzburg.

His eyes instinctively moved up to her lips. They were so plump, he knew only too well how soft. They parted ever so slightly, as she tried to fill her lungs with breaths that were now coming a little shallower, a little faster. Moving his eyes from her tempting mouth, his intense gaze was met by her darkening, blue eyes, lids heavy with desire.

"Hungry…?" his eyes were dark. "Maria, I'm starving…" he whispered, his eyes almost black…

ooooXXXXoooo

 _Hungry kisses, swallowed sighs. A desperate moan, a searching, tender touch. Fingers moving. Exploring, grasping. His name. An unnecessary plea. No encouragement needed. That hand, still searching. Teasing, tormenting… a clock ticking? The study. Was this the study…? The clock ticking. Getting louder. Someone interrupting… The door? Knocking…_

As the sound became louder, more urgent, Georg lifted his head and turned towards the noise. Where was he again? He felt something stir. Looking down, he realised it was Maria in his arms. _Oh God, it was room service!_

"Georg, that must be dinner," Maria mumbled against his chest, half asleep.

"Damn, I fell asleep," Georg cursed as he unwrapped himself from Maria and quickly got to his feet. "Coming!" he called out towards the door, although he was still trying to remember where he was, let alone where the door to their hotel suite was. _God, he needed to put on some clothes._ Looking around on the floor, he had no idea where they might be. They'd been discarded in such a hurry, they could be anywhere.

Catching sight of the bathroom, he made his way across the room. "Just a minute!" he yelled out into the sitting room as he disappeared into the ensuite. He found the light switch and found a pair of white bathrobes hanging from hooks on the back of the door. _God, it would have to do!_ Grabbing one, he quickly put it on and tied the sash around his waist as he made his way back across the bedroom toward the sitting room. He stopped just inside the sitting room as he turned and closed the doors to the bedroom behind him.

Normally, he would never dream of opening the door wearing only a borrowed hotel robe. But this time, he had little choice. Unlocking the door to the suite, he pushed his shoulders back and swept a hand through his hair as he tried to adopt the most serious, aristocratic air he could manage in the circumstances. Opening the door, he nodded at the two young men carrying trays laden with plates covered with steel cloches, cutlery, linen napery and whatever else they could juggle up the stairs. He stood aside and let them pass into the suite, closing the door behind them.

"Good evening, Captain von Trapp," one of the young men greeted him politely, completely ignoring his state of undress. Making their way towards the table, they placed the trays down. One of them unfurled a white, linen tablecloth over the table, stopping for a moment to smooth it out and then straighten it. Then they both expertly laid out the cutlery, setting the plates of food in their places. Placing a jug of water and glasses on the table, they took a moment to check that everything was in order.

"Captain, would you like me to pour you a drink?" One of the young men asked as he looked toward the cabinet of spirits in the corner of the room.

"That won't be necessary, thank you," Georg replied, thinking what an odd question to ask someone in a bath robe.

"Do you need anything else, Captain?" he asked as they picked up their trays.

"No, thank you," Georg answered.

They nodded politely and turned to leave, closing the door behind them.

Georg turned back to the table. The room was already filling with the delicious smell of their dinner. Hearing his stomach rumble, he smiled. He hadn't realised how hungry he was. But then, he _had_ fallen into a heavy sleep. He hadn't intended to make love to Maria again, not so soon. So much for taking things slowly. _But, by God, she was just impossible to resist._ Still, he needed to pace things, make sure he didn't overwhelm her, ask too much of her. Just as his thoughts were drifting dangerously from the food to Maria, he heard the doors adjoining the bedroom open.

Turning around, his breath caught as Maria appeared in the doorway. Her hair was a little messy, adorably so. Her cheeks a little flushed. But what made her irresistible, what took his breath away, was seeing her standing there in nothing but his white shirt. She was gorgeous, she was beautiful, and she was all his. The sleeves were rolled up and hung just below her elbows, a handful of buttons held the shirt together, but still hinted dangerously at what lay beneath, waiting just for him. _God she was breathtaking!_

"I hope you don't mind, Georg," Maria blushed a little as she came into the sitting room. "I tried on the other robe, but it was so big, I got lost in it."

"Darling, you can wear my shirt. Anytime…" Georg replied softly as she came to a stop in front of him. He cupped her cheek as he bent and kissed her lips. "It looks so much better on you anyway…" he whispered.

Maria smiled up at him, but her attention was quickly drawn away by the tempting smell of the dinner laid out on the table.

"Come on, let's eat," Georg guided her to the table and held out one of the chairs for her. He filled the two glasses with water from the jug.

"What did you order, Georg?" Maria asked as she held onto the cloche covering the plate in front of her.

"Well, I'd heard that schnitzel with noodles is one of your favourite things," Georg arched his brow at her. "So, I thought you might enjoy the local version…"

Maria lifted the cloche from her plate. "Oh, Georg! It looks amazing…" she looked from her plate across the table to him. "But, what is it?"

"Well, it's a version of veal scaloppini with pasta," Georg smiled. "I made sure they crumbed the veal, just to make it a little more like home…"

Maria smiled. "Thank you," she whispered, wondering if she would ever get used to how thoughtful and sweet Georg was. With memories of her parents so distant now, it was difficult to recall a time in her life when she'd been surrounded by so much love.

Realising how hungry she was, Maria picked up her cutlery and stopped to look up questioningly at Georg. Still watching her, he smiled and nodded at her to start. She cut off a piece of the crumbed veal and closed her eyes as she chewed slowly, savouring the difference from the wiener schnitzel they were used to eating, enjoying the unfamiliar sauce. Opening her eyes, she smiled at Georg. "Delicious…" she said quietly.

Georg lifted the cloche from his plate, his eyes still on Maria as she took another mouthful. She had no idea how distracting she was, sitting there in his barely-buttoned-up shirt. She was completely clueless what she did to him, how seductive she was, and it made her even more attractive. He could watch her for hours, but eventually, the aroma of the food pulled his attention away from her. Picking up his knife and fork, he was quickly devouring the food on his plate.

"I can't wait to see the children tomorrow, Georg," Maria finally looked up from her dinner.

"I know, Fraulein," Georg smiled at her as he mopped the last of the sauce from his plate with a slice of fresh bread. "It's barely been a week, but it feels so much longer…" he added as he took another mouthful, wondering how he'd ever managed to leave the children for weeks on end.

"I wish they could have been at the wedding today," Maria continued. "I know it was impossible, but I would have loved to have at least told them…" she added softly, placing her fork on her plate.

"Maria…" Georg reached across the table to take her fingers in his hand. "You're still not worried about telling them?" he asked as he played with the wedding band on her finger.

Maria rested her knife on the edge of her plate. "A little…" she looked up at him.

"They all love you so much…" Georg held her hand a little tighter. "You realise you're the only mother the younger ones know?" he whispered.

"Perhaps, but that was when I was the governess," Maria shrugged at him. "I just hope it won't change now…"

"Believe me, when I told them that you'd returned to the Abbey, they were broken hearted. They weren't crying simply because you were their governess," Georg let go of her and ran the back of his hand tenderly down her cheek.

"Do you think…" Maria still wasn't convinced.

"I know!" Georg declared. "You'll see," he added, but couldn't help wondering why Maria seemed so uncertain. He watched on as she picked up her fork pushed a piece of veal around her plate. "Is there anything else worrying you, Maria?" he asked.

Maria chewed her bottom lip for a moment as she thought of her response. "Even if the children are happy to hear our news, I'm not sure Agathe's mother will be…" she answered into her plate.

"Maria!" Georg stood up and quickly walked around the table. Kneeling down beside her, he wrapped his arm around her shoulders and pulled her to him. "She will see how happy the children are and realise how much they love you," he kissed her forehead as he squeezed her tighter. "She will realise that you're as wonderful in person as you were on the telephone," she turned towards him and he brushed her lips with his before she had a chance to protest. "And then…" he pulled her closer and whispered into the shell of her ear, sending a shiver down her spine as she dropped her fork on her plate. "She will take one look at me, see the silly smile on my face and realise that you're the best thing that could have happened to me…" he drew her earlobe into his mouth.

Maria squealed as she smacked Georg away. She smiled at him. "Do you think so?" she asked.

"I know so," Georg declared.

"Thank you…" she whispered.

"Fraulein, I'm the one who should be thanking you. Every minute of every day…" he kissed her forehead. "Now, stop worrying and finish your dinner," he lifted the fork from the edge of her plate, picked up the piece of veal and placed in his mouth. "I'm going to run you a bath," he kissed her lips before standing to make his way out of the sitting room towards the bathroom.

Maria's eyes followed him as her chin rested on her the palm of her hand, propped up on an elbow.

He stopped at the doorway and turned back towards her, his heart skipping a beat knowing that she'd been watching him. He winked at her, "Join me in the bathroom when you're finished…"

ooooXXXXoooo

Maria placed the cloche over her plate. The plate had been overflowing with food, so there was still some left despite her being so hungry. Georg had eaten so quickly, he'd probably be happy to eat her leftovers. She could hear the bath filling from the dining table, and now couldn't think of anything better than sinking into warm water to soak. Even though it had been a long and tiring day, it had been one of her happiest days. Probably the happiest.

Standing up from the table, she refilled her glass from the jug, then picked up the small bunch of edelweiss from the side table where she'd left it earlier, placing it in the glass. She smiled as she straightened it. She still couldn't help feeling guilty at having doubted Georg earlier in the day. Trying to ignore her guilt and nagging doubts, she walked through to the bedroom.

It was dark outside now, but the light from the sitting room and the bathroom were enough to remind her of those frantic moments from earlier. She stopped for a moment. Clothes were strewn across the floor and the bedding tossed haphazardly over the edge of the bed, out of the way. Smiling, she noticed her dress, most of it hidden underneath the bed covers. She bent down to pick it up and draped it over the armchair in the corner of the room. She searched around and found Georg's trousers, straightening them out before hanging them over the back of the chair with her dress.

Her attention moved back to the bathroom as she heard Georg start humming a tune. Quietly walking over, she enjoyed the feel of the plush carpet between her toes. She reached the partially open bathroom door and pushed it gently. Georg was standing with his back to the door. He was no longer in his white robe, instead he had a white towel hanging from his waist, contrasting against his dark skin. Humming to himself as he stood in front of the white pedestal hand basin, he was busy shaving. Maria sucked in a breath as she watched the muscles rippling across his back. The scrape of the razor cutting through the shaving cream and stubble was the only sound above the running water. Oh, and his humming, she smiled.

She looked from Georg's back to the mirror above the basin, catching his eye.

"Fraulein!" he called to her, his jaw contorted, stretching out the skin as he continued to scrape the razor across along his jawline. "You may want to check the water isn't too warm," he told her as he pointed to the robe on the floor with his razor. "It was getting a little steamy in here…" he arched a brow in the mirror. "I had to open the doors to let some air in," he added, motioning to the French doors at the end of the room.

Maria smiled, picking up the robe and hanging it on the back of the bathroom door, next to its pair. She turned back and walked across to Georg, placing her hand on his lower back. "Thank you…" she smiled at him in the mirror. "A soak in the bath is exactly what I need." She'd only recently discovered the joy of lazing in a bath. Before arriving at the villa, she'd never imagined stealing a quick nap in the bath, or lying back and reading a few pages of her book.

Georg bent down and kissed her cheek, leaving a blob of shaving cream behind. He reached up and wiped it away with his finger.

"I didn't eat all my dinner, if you're still hungry," Maria told him before turning around to the large freestanding bath at the end of the room. It was enormous. She was certain she'd never seen one so big. Walking over to it, she dipped her fingers in the water that had half-filled it. She smiled. Georg was right, it was a little too warm. She leaned over and turned off the hot water.

"There's some scented oils or something over there on the shelf…" Georg said to his reflection in the mirror.

Maria looked around and noticed some bottles sitting on a shelf along the wall. She looked through them and chose the bottle of rose oil. Unscrewing the lid, she lifted it to her nose and closed her eyes as she inhaled. Watching a few drops land in the water, they sat on top of the water for a moment before eventually dispersing under the running water and foaming a little.

Dipping her fingers in the bath to test the water again, she waited another minute or two before turning off the tap.

"Perfect…" she whispered to herself.

"You are, aren't you?" Georg was now beside her, and wrapped his arm around her waist, pulling her to him as he wiped the last of the shaving cream off his face with another towel. He threw the towel over the basin and cupped her cheek. He bent down and kissed her lips, deepening their kiss before pulling back.

"Now, Fraulein, I'm going to help myself to the rest of your dinner," he let go of her as he started undoing the first button on his shirt, revealing more of the valley between her breasts that had been teasing him during dinner. Unable to resist, he ran his forefinger gently down her soft skin before reaching the next button. "Meanwhile…" he undid the second button, "you jump in…" he released the next one, "that bath…" he unbuttoned the last one. He slipped his hands under the shirt's lapels and peeled it off her shoulders, letting it drop to the floor.

His eyes travelled down, taking in Maria's perfect breasts, her nipples starting to harden now that they were exposed. His gaze moved down to the swell of her stomach, the tiny waist. _God she really was perfect!_ Remembering himself, he held her hand and nodded for her to step over the edge of the bath. Still holding her hand, he watched her sink into the water. Sitting down, she leaned back against the end, stretching her legs out in front of her. The bath was so big, her feet weren't close to reaching the other end.

"Wait a second, darling," Georg whispered, letting go of her hand, he reached for another towel from the shelf and rolled it up. "Here lean back on this," he told her as he knelt down and placed the towel behind her neck. "Better?"

"Thank you…" Maria whispered, closing her eyes.

Georg reached down and cupped her cheek. "I won't be long," he kissed her forehead.

Maria opened her eyes as she watched him stand up. She followed him as he walked out the bathroom, the towel still hanging from his waist. Smiling to herself, she closed her eyes and was soon drifting away…

oooooXXXXoooo

Georg folded the last slice of bread in half and ran it over the plate, mopping up the last of the sauce. Savouring the final mouthfuls, he'd forgotten how much he enjoyed Italian food. He wiped his mouth with the linen napkin, folding it roughly and then placing it on the table. While he'd been sitting at the table, his thoughts had never been far from his beautiful bride and the vision of her lying back in the bath. Eager to see her, missing her badly, he stood up and started making his way back to her. Closing the doors to the sitting room behind him, he noticed it was dark outside now, except for the moon's silvery light.

Coming to a stop just inside the doorway to the bathroom, his breath caught. Maria's head was still resting on the towel, but had rolled to one side. He smiled. It was a shame to wake her, but she couldn't spend the night in the tub. Looking on the shelf, he found a face washer. Kneeling on the tessellated tiles at the end of the bath behind her, he dipped the cloth into the water. It was still warm. Squeezing the cloth, the sound of the water falling into the bath below was the only sound over Maria's heavy breathing and the blood pounding in his ears.

He looked over her shoulder, down the length of her body. As he watched the gentle rise and fall of her perfect breasts, he could feel himself stirring. _God, his body was already responding._ He brought the cloth up to Maria's shoulders, gently washing along her collarbone, trying to ignore what she was doing to him without even knowing. He remembered how soft her skin felt under his lips. He'd give anything to kiss her now. But she was tired, they both were, and there would be time enough for that later.

Maria stirred. She smiled and turned her head up towards Georg. "That feels so nice…" she said dreamily, her eyes still closed.

Unable to stop himself, he bent and kissed her lips. It was supposed to be chaste, but as he drew her lip into his mouth, sucking and teasing, as she deepened their kiss, moaning her approval, he realised it was never going to be. _God, how could it be?_ Not now.

"Join me…" she whispered against his mouth.

"Maria…" he could barely speak as he felt his control slipping. "You're tired…"

"I know…we both are," she took hold of his hand, she didn't want him to go. "But you need a bath, and there's more than enough room down there…" she nodded toward the opposite end of the bath.

Georg squeezed her hand. "If you insist, Fraulein…" he whispered, knowing that resisting her invitation would be impossible. Standing up, he dropped his towel on the floor. Already aroused, he could feel Maria's eyes on him as he walked to the other end of the bath and stepped over the side. Dropping down into its warmth, the water rose dangerously close to the top edge of the bath. He grinned wickedly at Maria, who welcomed him into her bath with a warm smile and a glint in her eye.

"Lean back, Maria, close your eyes," he whispered as he reached down and took one of her feet in his hands. "Ssshh… don't laugh, I'm not supposed to be tickling you…" he purred as he started massaging the arch of her foot with his thumb.

"Oh, Georg…" Maria murmured. "That feels… divine…"

Georg massaged and rubbed her foot, then slowly made his way to her calf. Satisfied, he lowered it onto his thigh and took her other foot to begin working on that one with his strong hands.

"Georg?" Maria opened her eyes.

"Mmmm…" he answered her, concentrating on a knot he'd found in her calf.

"I need to tell you something," she said quietly.

"Mmmm?" he looked up from her foot and saw the concern in her eyes. "Anything, Maria. You know you can tell me anything," he held onto her foot, but his hands were now still.

"I feel terrible…" she began to explain. "Today. At the church…" how could she tell him?

"What is it, Maria?" Georg asked gently, trying to hide his concern as the frown deepened on her brow.

"Today, at the church… when you weren't there…" she took a deep breath before continuing. "Well, I thought it was because…well, because you realised you were making a mistake..."

"What…?" Georg let go of her foot, not noticing the splash as it hit the water and fell onto his thigh.

"I'm sorry, Georg…" Maria sat up straighter, pulling her knees up to her chest, and wrapping her arms around them. "I feel so awful for thinking that. I feel…"

"Maria, come here," he held his hand out to her, but she just returned his look with one of guilt and pain. "Come on, Fraulein. Come here. I need to show you something."

Maria wasn't sure what he was talking about, but took his hand and stood up. She took a few steps to the to the other end of the enormous bath and sat down between Georg's legs, facing him, resting her elbows on his raised knees.

"Turn around…" Georg told her gently.

Maria turned around and gasped as she felt his arm around her waist, pulling her back against him. "Now, where's your hand…" he asked and watched as she gave him her right hand. "No, no, your other one…"

Maria held her left hand out for Georg, even though she had no idea what he was doing. She was thankful he didn't seem angry. But she was unsure what he was thinking, it was always difficult to read his expression with his jaw held so tightly.

Georg started taking the gold band off Maria's finger.

"Georg! What are you doing?" Maria cried out, trying to pull her hand from his. "I'm sorry! It was stupid of me. I'm so…"

"Ssshh, Maria…" Georg soothed her, turning to kiss her cheek. "I just want to show you something." Taking her wedding ring off, he held it out towards her. "Now read out the inscription inside the ring."

Maria took the ring from Georg's hand and held it between her fingers. Noticing letters engraved on the inside, she held it up to the light. "Oh!" she hadn't realised that there were words engraved inside the ring. She felt Georg brush her hair back.

"What does it say, Maria?" Georg whispered in her ear. "Read it out aloud…"

" _M. ALL MY LOVE. ALWAYS. G_." Maria was speechless, she felt as if her heart was going to burst as she turned to him.

"I'm not going anywhere, my love, not without you," he looked at her, holding her eyes with such intensity.

"I'm sorry…" Maria whispered.

"I'm sorry I gave you reason to worry, Maria. But never, ever doubt my love for you," Georg cupped her cheek with a wet hand. But neither of them noticed, let alone cared. "The morning you returned to the villa, I promised I would never let you leave us again," he bent and kissed her on the lips, lingering, clinging to her. "I will always keep that promise, if it's the last thing I do…" he whispered, his voice full of emotion as he remembered the panic when he'd read her note. The dread when he'd believed that she'd returned to the Abbey forever.

"Oh, Georg…" Maria reached up behind her and ran her wet fingers through his hair.

"Don't you understand? I can't live without you…" Georg murmured against her, his voice breaking. "I need you…" Both arms were around Maria's waist pulling her tighter against him. His lips were on her neck, kissing, teasing, as he sought the comfort he knew only she could bring him. "I won't let you go…" he promised as his mouth traced her collarbone. "Never…" a hand had skated up over her stomach and was now cupping her breast. Kneading, squeezing, demanding.

Maria's hand was now raking through his hair, back and forth, soothing him, as she tried to anchor herself, clutching onto the arm around her waist. She turned to him and his mouth caught hers in a hungry kiss. "I love you…" she moaned against him, drawing his tongue into her mouth, desperate for more. Needing so much more.

"Maria…" Georg whispered, the hand around her waist was pulling her back further into his lap, while his hand kneaded her breast, his finger and thumb teased and tormented her nipple as it grew hard. Impossibly hard. Just like him. _God, he was so aroused_.

As his mouth devoured hers, Maria pushed back against him, feeling how much he needed her, but she was searching for something, desperate for some kind of relief. She was grabbing handfuls of hair now, her hand rough, impatient. Matching the maddening tormenting and tugging of her hard nipple, Georg's hand splayed across her stomach, his touch now light, then teasing, moving lower, then retreating. Demanding, gentle, bold, insistent. It was driving her wild. His kisses weren't enough. She wanted more as she tightened her grip on his arm. She was becoming frantic. She needed a release. It was like a throbbing, aching need. She was desperate for some kind of relief.

"Georg…" Maria's moans were broken by her strangled plea.

Needing little encouragement, his kisses hungry, demanding, Georg's hand swept lower.

"Oh, yes, Georg…" Maria cried out, sensing relief was close, within reach. She was on fire, was desperate for something to stop the burning, the ache.

His hand was gently cupping her now, his skilled fingers moving, building, relentlessly taking her toward her release. Maria's hand somehow loosened its hold enough to find its way down his arm and was now instinctively covering his hand, demanding he finish what he'd started. He couldn't withdraw now, there'd be no stopping.

"Maria…" Georg groaned as he felt her start pushing against his insistent fingers. "That's it…" he whispered against her swollen lips. "Let go…" he encouraged as her breathing became ragged, her hand left his hair and found his leg. Clutching onto him, her nails threatening to draw blood. "Give in to it…" his fingers kept their maddening pace, as his free hand moved its attention to her other, already hardened nipple.

"That's it, darling..." Georg's voice was a barely a rasp. "I need to feel you come apart..."

As the release came, as the surges wracked Maria's body, waves of water fell over the edge of the bath, splashing as they hit the floor, going unnoticed. Drowned out by Maria's moans, her strangled cry, as Georg held onto her, riding every tremor, every quiver with her…

 **Thank you everyone for continuing to read and review.**

 **Apologies, I completely lost track of the word count this time! Not a lot happening in this chapter, but I just wanted Maria and Georg to enjoy time with each other before they have to face the rest of the world.**

 **Please check out "The Air That I Breathe" – it's such a beautiful song with the most heartfelt lyrics.**

 **As you know, I don't own TSOM, just continuing to have a lend!**

 **"** **Immerse your soul in love"**


	24. Chapter 24

**Words are blunt instruments  
Words are sawn off shotguns**

 **"** **Jigsaw Falling Into Place" Radiohead "In Rainbows" (2007)**

Georg drew in a deep breath and smiled. The fragrant perfume of rose mingled with the unmistakable sweet scent of Maria. Was there anything more perfect? He hadn't opened his eyes yet. He didn't need to. He just wanted to enjoy the simple delight of waking to the feel of Maria's soft skin against the length of his body under the warmth of the bed covers. They were on their sides, both facing towards the balcony. His arm was wrapped around her, holding her to him, as she held onto him. Her head rested on his arm that lay underneath and he could feel her breath on his skin. Now that he was awake, it was driving him to the point of distraction.

Pushing his hips against Maria's perfectly shaped backside, he nuzzled against her neck. He had no idea what the time was. For once, he didn't care. It had been so long since he'd woken from such a peaceful, deep sleep. Probably just as long since he'd woken with his arms wrapped around the woman he loved, pressed against her naked body, feeling himself starting to stir. He'd almost forgotten the simple pleasure. Like he'd forgotten the pleasure of waking in the middle of the night, making love slowly, deliberately, where the mind is wonderfully blurred, but the body fully aroused.

Maria had woken him in the middle of the night, whispering she was cold. He smiled into her soft hair as he recalled mumbling to her that he knew one way they could warm up, before rolling her onto her back. He could feel something shift as he recalled how responsive she was, how enthusiastic. But then, he'd always imagined she would be.

He'd noticed on the first day. When she'd finally emerged from the darkness and cobwebs of the ballroom where he'd found her. He could see her slender frame hidden underneath that awful grey dress, but there was also that unmistakable, mischievous gleam in her eye. Even then, trying to convince himself it was his imagination, he'd been intrigued. And a little unnerved by what he was convinced his new governess, a young postulant no less, was harbouring.

He still hadn't opened his eyes. He could hear birds outside, so it must be daylight. After Maria had woken him, after they'd made love, he'd eventually found the strength to close the French doors against the cool night air and draw the drapes across. He remembered going into the bathroom to close the door to the balcony and ended up stepping into the puddle of water that still covered much of the tiles.

Pulling Maria closer, images flooded back of her coming apart in his arms, as he'd held her, as she'd fallen limp against him. Satisfied. Spent. He wasn't sure how long they'd laid there in the bath, how long it had taken for her to recover, for him to control his own responses. Eventually he'd woken her, patted her drowsy body dry and carried her to bed. She'd been exhausted. They both had been.

But before finally joining her in his own deep sleep, he'd watched her fall asleep in his arms. Would he ever tire of that? He couldn't imagine there being a time when he would take something so special, so precious, for granted. Not again. With Agathe, he'd always imagined that they'd be together forever. He would never make that mistake again.

Opening his eyes, he lifted his head from the pillow. Glancing at the clock on the bed side table, he was surprised to see that it was after ten o'clock. He couldn't remember the last time he'd overslept so badly. Normally, he would rise at six o'clock after a restless night of broken sleep. The room was still dark, thanks to the heavy drapes, it would be hours before the sun moved across the sky and reached into their room. By then, they would be well on their way to Trieste.

Resting his head back on the pillow, he smiled as he felt Maria move in his arms. Enjoying the feel of her waking slowly, he added another thing to the list of things he would never tire of. He was starting to compile quite a list!

Maria's hand moved from his arm, down to his hand, giving it a squeeze.

"Morning, darling," Georg murmured against her ear.

"Oh, Georg…" Maria mumbled, still trying to shake off her heavy sleep. "It can't be morning already…"

"Did you sleep well?" he asked, although he already knew the answer.

"Very well," Maria replied stretching and yawning out against Georg's warmth. "What time is it?"

"It's after ten," Georg's hand had started moving up and down the length of her thigh.

"What…?" Maria went to move, but Georg's arms held her in place.

"Ssshhh…" Georg whispered. "No need to rush. I told them last night we wouldn't be leaving until after midday." He smiled as he felt her body relax and settle back into the mattress. He had to take her again. His body had already roared to life, and there wouldn't be another chance until tonight, which seemed far too long to wait. "I need you…" he murmured as he nuzzled against her neck.

Maria pushed back against Georg, smiling to herself as she felt every inch of him against her. Although it was all still so new, she was already used to the feel of his body, the warmth of his arms wrapped around her, his musky scent and his baritone, making her forget everything except him. She sighed at the feel of his lips against her neck, his hand skating up her stomach, claiming her breast…

ooooXXXXoooo

It was early afternoon, as they wound their way down the road towards the Adriatic coast. A perfect day, without a cloud in the sky and a warm, gentle breeze, they'd been on the road for less than an hour. With the car windows wound down, Maria was enjoying the rush of the air ruffling her hair. She hadn't given a thought to how messy it was becoming, she was having too much fun leaning against Georg, talking and laughing as they watched the green countryside race by.

"Not much further, Fraulein," Georg squeezed the leg that his hand had been resting on.

"I can't wait," Maria turned to smile at him, her hair blowing into her face. She reached up to brush it away. She knew he was talking about the sea, and although she was excited about setting eyes on it and trying to understand the pull it had on Georg, she was much more excited about seeing the children again.

Glancing at her, Georg returned her smile as his heart skipped a beat. Her natural beauty always hit him hard, and today, with her contagious enthusiasm, he was smitten. More so today than ever. Perhaps it was because all the concerns in Austria were behind them. She had recovered from her illness, they'd avoided the Nazis before things became too dangerous or complicated, the children were safe and in a few hours his family would be together. He squeezed her leg affectionately as he concentrated on the road ahead. After having thought he'd lost her forever a week ago, here she was sitting beside him. His wife. Mother to his children. _God, it was overwhelming._

His mood was probably so much lighter because of how willing his young bride had been, how comfortable they'd been together. With his thoughts starting to drift, he glanced down beyond the hem of her dress to her bare legs.

It had taken some time, but he'd finally convinced her not to wear her stockings. Not only did he want her to see the blue water stretching out to the horizon, he also wanted her to feel the warm sand between her toes and the water rolling into the beach and across her feet. She was wearing one of her summer dresses, her stockings safely stowed away in the glove box for her to slide into before they arrived in Trieste. She'd kicked off her shoes a little way back, and as he watched her flex her toes, stretch the arches of her feet, his thoughts were drifting to last night. Holding her feet, massaging them. _Good Lord…_

Maria watched as Georg turned his attention back to the road ahead. Even though he was casually dressed, more so than usual, there was something different about him today. He was wearing a casual shirt open at the neck and a pair of comfortable trousers. He was still impossibly handsome, still made her heart beat a little faster whenever she was near him, his voice was still as much a caress than if his hands had touched her. None of that had changed from yesterday, and would probably be the same tomorrow, and every day after that. But since yesterday, something had changed. She'd come to know so much more about him in such a short time.

"Everything alright, darling?" Georg could feel Maria's eyes studying him.

"Much better than alright, Georg," Maria answered before turning away.

"Keep your eyes ahead, Fraulein, the water will appear around the next corner," Georg squeezed her leg.

As the car swept around the bend, the bright blue Adriatic appeared at the bottom of the hill, over the edge of a cliff in front of them.

"Oh!" Maria squealed, her hands flying to cover her mouth. "Georg! It's beautiful!" Maria's hand was now clutching Georg's leg as she sat forward on the edge of the seat. "It's stunning…" she whispered, as the car descended towards the shoreline.

Georg chuckled at her reaction. His eyes had been on her, desperate to see her reaction, not wanting to miss that moment when she first saw the water. The wide expanse of blue was his second home. Before he met Agathe, he'd assumed it would be his only home.

"Georg, it's spectacular," Maria turned to him before quickly turning back and taking a few moments to absorb the beauty of the scene before her. "You've missed it, haven't you…" she asked quietly, taking hold of his hand in both of hers.

"Whenever I see it again, that's when I realise what I've been missing," Georg smiled. It was so typical of Maria, he thought to himself. Always concerned about other people, always understanding him.

"Oh, Georg, we need to stop," Maria was looking out the windscreen again. "Georg, can we stop?" Maria turned to him again, pleading.

"Not here, Fraulein," Georg smiled. "It's far too rocky. The beach starts a little further down the road, we'll stop there."

"Georg, I can smell the sea!" Maria closed her eyes for a moment and took in a deep breath. "I've only ever read about how the sea smells. Oh, my…" she inhaled again.

As the road levelled out and continued along the shoreline, Maria folded her legs on the seat beside her as she turned to look past Georg out the side of the car. "Georg, look! There's a boat. Out there!" Maria let go of his hand and pointed out towards the horizon.

Georg followed her finger and turned towards her. "Darling, that's a yacht," he took hold of her hand, and brought it up to his lips, leaving a lingering kiss. _God, she was so adorable_. "We really do need to give you some lessons," he chuckled.

"Oh…?" she smiled at him innocently with a raised brow. "I thought the lessons had already begun…"

Amused, he turned to her and started laughing. She'd been sassy from the moment he'd met her. Even in her hideous grey dress, she'd been tempting him with an irresistible mix of innocent blue eyes, that knowing smile and teasing him with her sharp, witty responses. He knew then she'd be a handful. It had taken some time to realise, but even back then he'd been powerless. He still was.

They travelled a few more miles down the road, only a short distance from Sistiana. There was very little traffic on the road, so Georg slowed down, giving Maria a chance to take in everything. The cliffs along the shoreline had fallen away to a maze of rockpools, which had now disappeared into a long stretch of white beach.

"Georg, it's beautiful…" Maria's legs were curled up on the seat as she clutched Georg's arm with both hands, looking past him out the righthand side of the car. "Can we stop now?" she asked.

"We will, but down a little further," he smiled, she was as excited as Gretl or Marta.

A little further down the road, Georg pulled the car off to the left into a park that ran beside the road. As he turned off the ignition, Maria was already scrambling to put on her shoes. "No need to rush, Maria," he chuckled.

"I know," Maria stopped to smile at him. "But I'm just so excited!" she added before turning her attention back to her shoes.

Georg reached over and brushed the back of his hand down her cheek before letting himself out of the car. Stretching his stiff muscles, he closed his eyes for a moment as he inhaled the heady smell of the Adriatic, carried along on the warm breeze. Despite his calm demeanour, he really was just as excited Maria.

As much as he wanted to see Maria experience the sand, the sea, the beauty of a place he loved so much, there was that familiar rush that came whenever he caught sight of an expanse of blue water. But this time, it had hit him harder than usual. Perhaps it was because it had been so long. Running his hand through his hair as he walked around the car, he wondered if it had it really been more than four years.

Opening the door for Maria, she took hold of his outstretched hand as he helped her out of the car.

"Oh, Georg!" Maria spun around to look across the top of the car to the water, giggling with delight as the breeze ruffled her hair.

Standing behind her, Georg placed his hand around her waist and pulled her back against him. "I'm so glad you like it, Maria," Georg whispered against her ear as she held onto his arm.

"Like it?" she asked pushing back against his warmth and muscle. "I love it!"

"Come on, Fraulein," Georg laughed, letting her go and catching her hand in his as he started pulling her along with him. "You've seen it, now I want you to feel it!"

There were very few cars on the road, even fewer pedestrians on the footpath. The beach appeared to be empty, except for them. It seemed that after a long summer, everyone had grown tired of the sand and water. The summer holidays were in their final days, so Georg guessed that many of the families who would have flocked to the coast weeks earlier, would have packed up and returned home. They hurried across the road to the wide footpath that hugged the beach. Georg was walking fast, barely able to hide his excitement. But it didn't matter, Maria was right beside him, clutching his hand and keeping pace.

It was only a short walk until they found a gap in the low wall that ran between the footpath and the beach. They took the stone steps down towards the sand, coming to a stop on the last one.

"Time to take our shoes off," Georg announced as he sat down on the second last step, pulling Maria down with him. Bending to undo the laces of his shoes, he couldn't wait to feel the warm sand between his toes. With his shoes off, Georg quickly peeled off his socks and stuffed them inside his shoes. He rolled up the cuffs of his trousers so that they hung just below his knee. _God, how long had it been since he'd done this?_ He felt twenty years younger.

Maria turned to Georg, taking hold of his hand. "You really do love it, don't you, Georg?" she whispered.

"Is it that obvious?" he shrugged at her.

"Just a little…" she squeezed his hand. "It's understandable that my sea captain misses his sea," she smiled as she shimmied along the step and gave him a nudge.

"I love you…" Georg whispered as he reached up to cup her cheek. Bending down he brushed his lips against hers.

"Georg…" Maria murmured against him. "Someone might see us…"

Straightening up as he squinted against the bright sunlight, Georg looked up and down the length of the beach. Turning back to her, he arched his brow at her. "Darling, the coast is clear…" he smiled, bending down to catch her lips in his.

Pulling away from her, he ran a forefinger down her cheek. "Let's go get our feet wet…" he whispered, kissing her forehead before standing up and holding out his hand to her, his shoes dangling by their heels from the fingers of his other hand. Maria grabbed her shoes as she reached up and took his hand. Pulling her to her feet, he stepped onto the warm sand.

Maria stepped tentatively off the stone step. First one foot and then the other. "Georg!" she squealed. "It's so soft!" She was looking down at her feet as they sunk into the top of the soft sand. She wiggled her toes, scuffing the dry sand over her feet.

"Wait until you feel the water!" Georg tugged at her hand, keen to reduce the distance to the small waves breaking on the wet sand. It was a perfect day. The light breeze was barely causing a ripple out on the water, it was shimmering like a sheet of glass broken only by the occasional white cap.

Within moments, they reached the wet sand. Maria stopped suddenly, pulling on Georg's arm, which caused him to turn around and look at her questioningly.

"It feels so different!" Maria exclaimed.

"Different?" Georg asked as he turned to her.

"To the mud on the edge of the lake," Maria was looking down at her feet as they sunk into the wet sand, but didn't disappear underneath it like they did when she walked on the edge of the lake.

Georg roared with laughter. What on Earth had Maria been doing in her bare feet in the mud around the lake, he wondered. How many other Baroness' would even know what mud between their toes felt like? Certainly, none of the women who he'd kept company with over the past four years. "Wait until you feel the water on your feet," he tugged on Maria's hand. His excitement was growing as he felt the wet sand beneath his feet, he needed to feel the water lapping against him.

The water had retreated back out a short distance towards the horizon, as they stood and watched, waiting for it to ebb back to the beach, Maria was sure she was holding her breath. Unlike the lake, or the streams that laced the mountains, the sea seemed like a living, breathing creature. Within moments, the water was racing back across the wet sand towards them. Maria held Georg's hand tighter as it came closer, within feet, now inches of swallowing their toes and feet.

She let out a squeal of delight as soon as the cool water touched her toes. It wasn't cold. It was just the pure delight of feeling it cover her toes, flood her feet and play around her ankles.

"Oh, Georg!" Maria's look was one of pure delight. "You must have missed this so badly."

Georg's heart leapt. Not only had she instantly fallen under the spell of his beloved sea, she understood him. He didn't have to explain himself. Unable to even begin trying to explain everything in his heart, he let go of Maria's hand and grabbed her waist, pulling her to him. Holding her against him with one arm, he bent down and brushed his lips against hers. He wrapped his other arm around her, shoes still dangling from his fingers, he caught her mouth in a hungry kiss. As she opened her mouth against his, he felt a hand grabbing at his hair. Deepening their kiss, his tongue found hers as she moaned her approval. Memories of the morning's love making flooded back, urging him on. Suddenly unaware of the water lapping around their ankles, the sound of the gulls, her kisses were growing more desperate. _God, he needed her…_

ooooXXXXoooo

They stood in the shadows of the two-storey villa's front doorstep. On the northern edge of Trieste, surrounded by large trees and a lush garden, the imposing home overlooked the water. Maria took a deep breath as she waited for Georg to ring the bell. She was nervous.

She still didn't share Georg's confidence that everyone was going to share their news with excitement and joy once they got over the initial surprise of them turning up on their doorstep. But despite her nerves, she was excited. It had been a week since they'd seen the children, and she was aching to see them again.

Standing on the front doorstep, Georg took a steadying breath. It wasn't because it had taken him more than four years to return here. It had been easier to just send the children to visit their grandmother rather than try to face memories that would have overwhelmed and suffocated him. Georg reached up and pressed the bell, chimes echoed in the distance through the cavernous hallway on the other side.

He was more nervous than he'd imagined. After all, it wasn't every day that a man turned up on the doorstep of his first wife's mother to introduce her to his new wife. Or, for that matter, to surprise his children with the news that their former governess was now their mother. But he was sure Agathe's mother would instantly like Maria, just as he knew Hede would. And of course, the children adored her.

He'd resisted telephoning from Udine to tell them they were on their way. He hadn't wanted to waste time on the inevitable flood of questions and explanations. Easier to handle them once they arrived. He'd decided, like in most situations, the element of surprise was always an advantage. One not to be given up lightly.

As they heard heavy footsteps in the distance, Georg turned to Maria and gave her a smile and nod of reassurance. She looked as nervous as he felt, so he bent down and kissed her forehead. "There's no need to worry, darling," he whispered, placing a reassuring hand on her lower back.

Maria smiled grimly back at him. She still wasn't so certain it was going to be as easy as Georg seemed to think. But before she could reply, the imposing front door was opened by a middle-aged man with greying hair.

"Ah, Captain von Trapp," the man nodded at the familiar face, but one that he hadn't seen In a long time. He turned his attention to the woman beside the Captain, wondering who his young female companion might be.

"Hans," Georg nodded to the butler. Agathe's mother had always insisted her key staff travel with her from Austria across the border to their summer house in Italy. He smiled to himself, she obviously still hadn't found any Italian staff to her liking. "May I introduce you to Baroness von Trapp," he turned to Maria and smiled.

"Baroness," Hans nodded, struggling to hide his surprise. He was unaware that the Captain had remarried, not that he expected to be privy to such details. Still, he thought it strange that he hadn't heard. But then, he hadn't been told the Captain would be arriving today, much less with his new wife. "Please, come in," he stepped aside. "I'm not sure we are expecting you, Captain," he added after closing the door behind them.

"No, a surprise visit," Georg told the butler. "Don't announce our arrival, we want to surprise the children."

"Of course, Captain," Hans nodded, closing the front door behind them. "Everyone, including the children, are taking tea on the terrace," he explained before turning to lead the way across the large hallway, towards the open doors at the other end that led outside.

Despite Georg's reassuring hand on her back propelling her across the enormous hall, Maria slowed down a little to take in as much as she could. Georg's villa was light and airy, but from the little she'd seen, this villa seemed the exact opposite. There was little natural light and the walls were painted a dark olive colour. Although it gave a hint of the opulence that lay in the rooms beyond the entrance hall, it did seem a little oppressive. Any spare wall space around the hallway was taken up with paintings in gilded frames, or side tables laden with expensive looking antiques.

As they made their way toward the doorway to the terrace, Maria could hear the voices of the children. She was sure her heart somersaulted against her ribs. She stopped. She had to catch her breath. She hadn't realised how much she'd missed them. "Georg, the children…" she whispered, her voice suddenly breaking with emotion and excitement.

Georg ran his hand reassuringly up and down her back. He knew what she meant. He felt it too. "Come on, Fraulein," he encouraged, pressing a little harder on her lower back.

The sound of the children grew louder as they neared the doors opening onto the terrace. Hans had drifted a short distance ahead of them and was stepping out onto the terrace. They were still in the hallway when they heard a woman's voice rising above the din of the children, "who was at the door, Hans?"

Hans was still in the doorway and remained silent as he looked to Georg and nodded. Walking out onto the terrace with Maria by his side, Georg said nothing. Curious, everyone on the terrace stopped and all eyes turned towards them at the same time.

The silence was broken by the children's squeals of excitement and cries of "Father!" and "Fraulein Maria!" as they all leapt up from where they were sitting and raced towards Maria and Georg. Marta raced toward Maria and grabbed hold of her at the same time as Louisa. Gretl was quickly caught up in Georg's arms, while Brigitta hugged both of them tightly and the boys tried to tell their father how they'd been spending their week. Liesl was beside Maria, asking if she was feeling better, telling her how well she was looking.

After receiving a flood of kisses from Gretl, Georg put her down and watched as Maria knelt down and gathered her in her waiting arms. He smiled as Maria listened to Gretl and Marta's stories from their week, while the boys and the other girls crowded around. Maria looked up at him for a moment, surrounded by the children, tears of happiness and pure joy flooding her eyes as she continued to hug and kiss them all over again.

Georg felt a hand on his arm and turned his attention away from Maria and the children. It was his sister Hede, he affectionately kissed her on each cheek.

"So, this is Maria? We've heard so much about her," she turned to watch the children swarming over Maria, it was so obvious how much they all adored each other.

"How's my favourite sister?" Georg teased her.

"Surprised. We didn't expect to see you," Hede answered. "Or your new wife…" she added in a whisper.

"You've heard the news?" Georg's brow lifted in surprise. How on Earth did they find out? It was only Thursday; the announcement wouldn't be in the newspapers until tomorrow.

"Georg, it's all we've heard," Hede continued in a low voice.

"All you've heard…?" Georg asked. "What are you talking about?"

"The telephone has only just stopped ringing," Hede told him. "Since early this morning…"

"Ringing? But I don't understand…" Georg questioned, before suddenly remembering the note he'd been handed as they were leaving the hotel. He'd been too excited, too distracted. Pulling the piece of paper out of his pocket, he unfolded the note and quickly read it.

"Damn…" he cursed to himself. It was a message from Max. He'd telephoned the hotel early that morning to warn him. It seemed that there had been some mix up. The announcement had been published in today's newspapers by mistake, a day earlier than planned. "Oh, dear God…" Georg mumbled as he stared at the note in his hand.

Looking up, his eyes found Maria's. He wondered how long she'd been looking at him. Her eyes were wide, questioning, as she cocked her head, wondering what was wrong. He lifted a brow then gave her a nod. Something had happened, but everything would be alright. Maria gave him a tight smile then turned her attention back to the children before they noticed anything was amiss.

Turning around, he found Agathe's mother sitting at the table glaring at him. "Agathe…" Georg nodded in her direction nervously. She did not look pleased to see him. Good God, what had she heard? What had she been told?

"Georg," she was standing before she finished saying his name. "Come with me. We need to talk."

 **Thank you everyone for continuing to read and review.**

 **We're getting close to the end of this story – just a few more chapters left!**

 **Those lyrics from Jigsaw Falling Into Place are among my favourite Radiohead lyrics. It's so easy to forget the impact our words can have.**

 **I don't own TSOM, just having a little lend.**

 **"** **Immerse your soul in love"**


	25. Chapter 25

**Once again, I'm in trouble with my only friend  
She is papering the window panes  
She is putting on a smile  
Living in a glass house…**

 **Don't talk politics and don't throw stones**  
 **Your royal highnesses…**

 **Once again, we are hungry for a lynching**  
 **That's a strange mistake to make**  
 **You should turn the other cheek**  
 **Living in a glass house**  
 **But someone's listening in**

 **"** **Life In A Glass House" Radiohead "Amnesiac" (2001)**

It was warm out on the terrace in the mid-afternoon. Even in the shade. But, as Georg turned from his sister Hede to Agathe's glare, it was starting to become stifling. God knows what they'd heard. "Have the children been told anything?" he asked his sister under his breath.

"Of course not, Georg," Hede answered quietly. "We've heard so many stories, most of them not suitable for the ears of young children," she whispered as she arched a brow at him. "We called the villa earlier, but were told you weren't home. They suggested we call back later. But, well, here you are…" she added with a shrug.

Georg moved his attention from Hede back to Maria. Surrounded by the children, they were updating her on all that had happened, everything they'd done, during their week in Italy at their grandmother's. His heart clenched as he watched the children jostling for Maria's attention. As usual, they were all talking at once, with Gretl and Marta letting out little squeals of delight. He smiled. Maria's reaction was just as adorable. She had a way of making each of the children feel special, even as her attention was pulled from one child to another, and back again.

Catching her eye, he gave Maria a wink. He'd been right. The children were so excited to see her. He knew they would be. For a moment, he wondered how the children would have coped if she hadn't returned to the villa the morning after the party. God, how would he have coped?

The sound of Agathe clearing her throat behind him interrupted his thoughts, reminding him that not everyone was happy to see them. But as much as Agathe deserved an explanation, that would have to wait for the moment. First, he needed to introduce Maria and then they needed to tell the children everything. That's if he could get them to calm down.

"Just a moment, Agathe," Georg said quietly as he turned back toward her glare. He could only imagine the kind of vicious rumours she'd been hearing all day in the telephone calls from Salzburg and Vienna. "We need to speak to the children first," he gave her a thin smile, trying to lighten her mood a little. It didn't seem to work one bit.

"Very well, Georg," Agathe agreed, still stony faced and expressionless. "But you have a _lot_ of explaining to do…" she added under her breath.

Georg gave Agathe a nod of thanks and turned back to Maria and the children. He smiled. They would be fighting each other for her attention until they were called for dinner if they were allowed. Not that Maria would mind, she was having more fun than the children. God, he loved how much she loved the children. And how much they loved her. It was almost a shame to interrupt them.

"Alright, everyone!" Georg called out over the din, smiling at the eight silent faces that turned towards him. "There will be plenty of time for us to catch up with all your stories," he announced. Catching Maria's eye, he could still see some lingering concern. He wondered if she'd overheard Agathe or Hede, but quickly decided that would have been impossible over all the noise and excitement. But she'd probably noticed Agathe's reaction to their arrival. Maybe he had been overly optimistic. Still looking at Maria, he gave her the tiniest nod. Everything would be alright, he tried to reassure her.

"Father, why _are_ you and Fraulein Maria here?" Brigitta asked, saying out loud what everyone else on the terrace had been wondering.

"Sit down everyone and I'll explain," Georg answered a little more gruffly than he'd hoped. He reached over and brushed the back of his hand down Brigitta's cheek, bringing back the smile that had disappeared momentarily behind a frown. "Kurt and Louisa, there's enough seats, I'm sure you don't have to fight over the same one…" despite arching his brow towards his two children, he couldn't hide his amusement. It seemed some things would never change.

Eager to hear the news from Salzburg, the children, their grandmother and Hede were soon all seated around the table. Georg couldn't help thinking how the large pot of tea, the dainty china tea set and the half empty plates of tea cakes in the middle of the table seemed a strange backdrop to the seriousness of what he was about to tell them. It wasn't so much that he'd married their governess during the past week while they were at their grandmothers. He also had to break the news that they wouldn't be returning home to Austria tomorrow, or anytime soon. Perhaps never.

With all eyes around the table looking at him, Georg stepped across to stand beside Maria. "Firstly," he began "Agathe and Hede," he nodded in their direction before turning to Maria, "I'd like to introduce you to Maria." He reached out to rest his hand on the small of her back. "Maria, my sister, Hede, and the children's grandmother, Agathe."

"It's lovely to meet you, Maria," Hede gave her a warm smile. She'd seen how excited the children had been to see her, and it was easy to see why. Maria had been so warm and genuine in the way she responded to the children. It all made sense to her now.

Hede had noticed the change in the children last week. She'd even noticed her brother was something of his old self when she'd arrived at the villa last week to bring the children down to Trieste. He seemed more relaxed and at ease than when they'd met in Vienna at the start of the summer. She'd been wondering what had happened to them all these past weeks. Obviously, it was all thanks to the woman standing next to her brother. The woman with the gorgeous smile and the unusually short hair. "The children haven't stopped talking about you, Maria," she added.

"It's so nice to meet you both after talking over the telephone," blushing at Hede's praise, Maria managed to smile and nod her thanks. So far, they'd only exchanged a few pleasantries, but she knew instantly she was going to like Georg's sister. She seemed so warm and friendly.

"I'm sure your Grandmother has explained that Baroness Schraeder has returned to Vienna," Georg looked at Agathe, who nodded amid cheers around the table from the children. Their paths had crossed at charity balls, and Agathe's mother had never been particularly fond of Elsa. But he was a little taken aback by the children's reaction. They seemed to have not liked her at all. Tightening his jaw, Georg wondered why he'd ever thought Elsa might be a suitable mother for them.

Perhaps that's why he'd been courting her for so long, why he'd kept putting off inviting her to the villa. In the end, it was only because Elsa had insisted he introduce her to his friends in Salzburg. She'd never shown any interest in his children, but then, until Maria arrived, neither had he since Agathe passed away.

Maria shot a stern look at the children, warning them to settle down. They did a little, but continued to whisper and giggle amongst themselves.

"All right, all right, that's enough…" Georg brought the children's noise to an abrupt end.

"So _why_ is Fraulein Maria here, Father?" Liesl met her father's eyes with a knowing smile and a challenging look. She'd read enough romance novels to realise what had been going on between her father and their governess. She'd noticed the looks that lasted far too long, the smiles they shared when no one had said anything funny. What made it even more strange, she couldn't see any of those little signs between her father and the Baroness, the woman he was supposed to be in love with.

And then, when they danced in the courtyard the night of party, it all made perfect sense! Under the stars, the orchestra playing in the background, it had been _so_ romantic. So obvious. Especially when their father should have been dancing with Baroness Schraeder, not the governess. Today, she'd heard snatches of conversations whispered between her aunt and grandmother. A few times, she'd heard her father's name, at other times it had been Fraulein Maria's. Something had happened. Otherwise, why would they turn up unexpectedly? She gave her father an innocent shrug as his eyes narrowed at her.

"Erhm…" Georg cleared his throat, a little unsettled by the look his daughter was giving him. God, she was growing up to be more like her mother every day. "After you left, well, after the Baroness left, I… erhm…" he flexed his fingers nervously as he turned to Maria who was looking at her toes, her cheeks flushed. He ran his hand up and down her back, and she looked up at him and smiled. "Well, I asked Fraulein Maria to marry me…" he managed to get out before the children all started cheering and jumped from their seats to rush and hug them for a second time.

"Oh, I knew something was going on!" Liesl whispered to Maria as she pulled her into a tight embrace. "When is the wedding…"

"Can I wear a pink dress?" Marta twirled around in a circle.

"Who will be our new governess?" Kurt asked.

"You won't turn into Baroness Schraeder, will you?" Louisa had finally found someone who let her climb trees, ride bikes and swim in the lake. Someone who understood she could do everything the boys did. Only better. She hoped that wasn't all about to change with Fraulein Maria becoming a baroness.

"Will that make you our mother?" Brigitta whispered, tugging at Maria's skirt.

"Alright, alright, enough questions!" Georg interrupted, as he looked across the top of the children to wink at Maria. "We can't answer all your questions at once!"

"Oooh, can we see the engagement ring?" Liesl was still holding onto Maria's arm.

Maria had been so self-conscious, she'd been clasping her hands together from the moment they'd walked out onto the terrace, hiding the ring on her left hand. She knew one of the older girls would notice a gold ring had suddenly appeared on her finger.

Glancing up to Georg for an answer, she felt his hand move up and down her back. Georg had wanted to buy her an engagement ring, but she'd convinced him that half of Salzburg would know Captain von Trapp had bought an engagement ring before he was even out of the jewellery shop. He'd kept insisting, but she'd finally convinced him that she didn't need an expensive ring and they should save their money for whatever lay ahead.

"There wasn't time for an engagement ring, Liesl," Georg explained. "You see, it was all a bit of a rush…" he looked from his eldest daughter to Agathe, whose eyes narrowed at him.

"But Father, aren't you supposed to have an engagement ring when you propose?" Brigitta had also been reading romance novels. Surely their father knew what was expected? Fraulein Maria should at least have a beautiful ring with diamonds, even some rubies or emeralds. Perhaps sapphires to match her eyes.

Georg smiled at his young daughter. "Yes, I should have had an engagement ring, Sweetheart," he ran his hand up and down Maria's back, letting her know he'd been right. He'd told her his daughters would be disappointed, even if she wasn't.

Brigitta gave her a father a victorious smile, pleased to hear him tell everyone that she was right. Especially when it meant admitting he was wrong.

"Unfortunately, we've had to do things a little back to front," Georg continued to explain.

"Back to front…?" Louisa and Liesl asked at the same time, quickly glancing at each other.

"What does that mean, Father?" Friedrich asked.

"Ge-org…," Agathe chimed in, her tone suggesting that he should tread carefully. She hadn't heard anything so far to suggest the rumours were wrong or even exaggerated. She knew what was coming next. He was going to admit he had to marry the girl in a hurry. Unexpectedly. How else was it possible to smuggle his pregnant governess across the border? After the first call, she'd laughed off the gossip. But she'd heard the same story from several close friends, one who'd even seen Georg dancing very inappropriately with his governess at Elsa's party. Just how long had this _thing_ been going on for?

Georg stared at Agathe. God, did she really believe the vicious lies she'd been told? Did she really think that little of him? He would be the first to admit that all those years ago she'd had good reason trying to convince her daughter not to marry him. But that was a long time ago. That was seven beautiful children ago. Before he became a devoted, faithful husband. His reputation as a womaniser before his first marriage was well-deserved. But he'd never intended to marry, had never planned to settle down. Perhaps he couldn't blame her for thinking he may have gone back to his old ways. But Maria, she deserved so much better than that. His thoughts were interrupted by Maria turning to look at him.

"Father…?" Liesl asked, unable to hide the concern in her voice. "Is everything alright…?"

"It is now that we're all together…" Georg said quietly as he reached out and cradled Gretl's head against him as she hugged his leg.

"Georg…?" Maria whispered hearing his voice catch. She searched his eyes, wondering if he would be able to continue.

Georg looked at Maria, seeing a mix of concern, encouragement and pride in her eyes. He wondered if she realised how much strength he drew from her, how much he needed her. It was why he'd been lost for so long. It had been the same with his beautiful Agathe. After a few deep breaths to steady himself, he was ready to continue the explanation.

"Two weeks ago, the Germans asked me to join their navy…" Georg went on, trying to ignore Agathe's cold stare.

"But Father, you can't join the Nazis," Friedrich interrupted.

"Don't worry, I turned them down," reaching out and squeezing Friedrich's shoulder, Georg couldn't have felt prouder of his eldest son than he did at that moment. "Earlier this week, they asked me again. They made it clear I should change my mind. If I didn't, they would change it for me..."

"But how can they do that?" Liesl asked, a frown forming on her brow.

"Liesl, these aren't nice men," Maria turned to explain, her tone gentle, but laced with memories of Herr Zeller, both from the party and his visit to the villa. "They're more than happy to use us to change your father's mind," she added, giving Liesl a look that suggested she couldn't go into details in front of the younger children.

"Oh!" Liesl brought her hand to her mouth. "Surely they wouldn't…" she couldn't imagine Rolf being part of such a thing.

"I'm sorry, Liesl," Maria hated seeing the look in her eyes. "I heard their words myself…"

"We had to leave," Georg confirmed, reaching out to cup Brigitta's cheek, trying to allay some of the fear in her eyes. "That's why there was no time for engagement rings, or why we couldn't telephone to tell you we were on our way. We couldn't even risk sending a telegram."

"We had to keep everything secret," Maria added. "Only Frau Schmidt and Uncle Max knew our plans," the children's frowns turned to smiles at the mention of their beloved housekeeper and favourite uncle. Stealing a glance in Agathe's direction, Maria noticed that she still wore a steely stare, so quickly looked back to the children standing around her. "We wish we could have told you, but we had no choice."

"I had already asked your Fraulein to marry me," Georg turned to Maria and paused to smile at her. "If we came straight down here to join you, she would have been turned back at the border," he was still looking at her, losing himself in the love and adoring look he found in her blue eyes. It was a simple reminder that nothing else mattered. They had each other. They had the children. "That would have been unthinkable…" he whispered, the thought implausible. "We had to get married first…" he added as he turned back to the children.

"You're already married…?" Brigitta asked, but it was more of a statement than a question.

"Yes, we are, Sweetheart," Georg confirmed, his hand finding its way to Maria's waist, pulling her closer to him.

Suddenly, the children were hugging and kissing Maria and their father all over again. The girls wanted to see Maria's wedding ring and hear about her dress. Marta asked Maria is she had worn pink flowers in her hair. Kurt wondered what they ate, making everyone groan and roll their eyes.

"We're sorry you weren't there to share it with us," Maria said to the children, then looked to Hede and Agathe to make sure they knew she was including them. "Your father and I have already talked about having a second wedding…" In an instant, the girls were overwhelming her with a barrage of ideas, bringing a smile to Maria. She looked across to Georg, who rolled his eyes at her, making her laugh.

"But Father, you said you had to leave. What does that mean?" Friedrich suddenly asked. "Aren't we going home tomorrow?"

"Yes, Father, when are we going home?" Liesl asked, tightening her grip on Maria's arm.

"I wish we _were_ going home tomorrow," Georg reached out to ruffle Kurt's hair. "Unfortunately, it's not safe at the moment..."

"But what about school?" Brigitta asked, her eyes starting to fill with tears at the thought of not starting classes in two weeks.

"We're not going home?" Marta asked in a little voice, confused by the conversation going on around her. Surely that couldn't be right.

"We don't have a home anymore?" Kurt questioned.

"I don't believe you!" Louisa burst out. She'd been quiet until now, but her face was becoming red, as she started to swipe away tears.

"Come now, Louisa," Maria said soothingly, Georg's hand dropping from her waist as she stepped towards the upset girl with open arms. "We all want to go home, I know I'd love nothing more..." she whispered as she pulled Louisa into her arms and held her tight. Somewhere, over Louisa's tears and as she pulled Gretl to her, she could hear Georg consoling the other children. "The important thing is we're together," Maria ran her hand up and down Louisa's back. "It just isn't safe in Austria. Not for any of us..."

The words were meant to soothe Louisa, but they left Maria feeling hollow. Saying the words out loud, it was a reminder that they really had left their old life behind. Countless times over the summer she'd found herself wishing her idyllic existence at the villa would never end. And now, they would never experience life there as a family. As much as she had to be strong for the children, it just didn't seem fair. With tears starting to sting her eyes, she reminded herself that the important thing was that they were safe, and they were together.

As Marta wrapped her arms tighter around his neck and buried her head in his shoulder, Georg looked across to Maria. This was when the reality would set in for both of them. When they told the children, consoled them, tried to convince them that everything would be alright, despite having no idea what their future held, or even where it would be. Swept away on the euphoria of finally finding each other, it had been easy to push their concerns aside. But now, surrounded by the children's grief for the home they would probably never see again, the reality was starting to set in for all of them.

Trying to ignore his own feelings, he saw that Maria had pulled Gretl to her while she was still comforting Louisa. Liesl now had her arms around Gretl, and Friedrich was doing his best to remain strong. Georg's eyes moved to Hede, who gave him a nod of encouragement. They'd grown up together at the villa. A childhood that few could ever dream of. One that he'd wanted for his own children. His sister would also be feeling the loss of her childhood home, filled with so many magical memories.

Getting to her feet, Hede walked over to Maria and placed a comforting hand on Louisa. "Welcome to the family, Maria," she kissed her cheek, and with her thumb gently, quietly wiped away a stray tear that was starting to track down Maria's cheek. "Why don't we take the children inside?"

"Thank you," Maria whispered, giving her a tiny smile. "Come on children," she called out to all of them, mustering all the cheerfulness she could. She had no idea where inside they would go, but at least it would be away from Agathe's disapproving look, which was becoming sterner and more difficult to ignore. Maria watched on as Georg placed Marta on the terrace floor and Hede took the small girl's hand, wrapping her arm around Brigitta's shoulders. Maria followed her towards the doorway with one arm around Louisa and the other around Liesl, who was carrying Gretl. As usual, the boys were trying to be brave in front of their father. They always were. But she could see the worry and sadness in their eyes.

Georg looked on as Maria, the children and Hede made their way towards the doorway to the villa. His eyes were on Maria as she stopped and turned to look back before disappearing through the double doors. She gave him a thin, watery smile. He gave her a reassuring nod. The children were ecstatic she was part of the family. He'd promised her they would be. But, understandably, they were upset at the news they wouldn't be returning to Austria. Maria nodded back before turning her attention to the children and ushering them inside ahead of her.

Georg waited until Maria had followed the last of the children inside before turning back to their grandmother. He walked over to the large table where she was still seated. "Thank you again for taking the children at such short notice, Agathe," he said as he stopped across the table from her.

"You've always known I will take the children anytime, Georg," she answered, remembering dark days when it seemed she would have to take the children under a more permanent arrangement.

"I'm sorry we've turned up on your doorstep unannounced," Georg continued, not wanting to dwell on their past disagreements.

"Well, the children are certainly happy to see you," she answered bluntly.

"Erhm, may I?" Georg motioned to the high-backed chair he'd been nervously drumming his fingers on. Agathe gave him a curt nod, and he sat down.

Looking across the table at her, Georg could see that Agathe had lost little of her frostiness. He tugged at his ear, trying to find the words. "I apologise, for all of this. I wish I could have spoken to you earlier. About everything…" he began. "I owe you that, and so much more."

"Was it really as bad as you say, Georg?"

"Bad…?" She was doubting him? About the Nazis?

"Was Maria really that ill with fever?" Agathe decided it was best to just be direct. She was too old waste her time dancing around a conversation. "Has Austria really become so dangerous?" Agathe questioned, barely concealing her disbelief. "Or was it just an opportunity you couldn't ignore?"

"What…?" Georg was surprised by her words, her tone, by what she was implying.

"Sending the children down here, getting them out of the way, like you've done so many times before…" she continued in a calm, accusatory tone.

Georg stopped to take a deep breath. He deserved that. God knows how many times he'd sent his children away just to avoid their questions, the painful memories, the unbearable hurt in their eyes. If he wasn't sending them away, he was running away from them.

"Agathe, I'm the first to admit that there's things I wish I'd done differently…" he looked down at some crumbs on the plate in front of him, unable to withstand the withering glare from across the table. It hadn't lost any of its sting. "I wish I had been stronger…" he added, looking up and away into the distance. "But believe me, Agathe, Maria seriously ill with cold and fever. The doctor was concerned it could turn in pneumonia…" he had to stop to catch his breath against the memories that were threatening to overtake him. "The _invitations_ from the Reich were real. Their threats this week were very real…" he whispered, holding her stare.

"Really?" Agathe was in no mood to be treated like a fool. "In all the calls today, no one else mentioned the Germans. All I heard about was you and the governess."

"Probably because none of your gossiping friends had been invited to lead the Nazi's fleet of U-boats!" Georg retorted. He could feel his anger slipping away from him, out of his control. He tightened his jaw before he said anything he might regret.

"Georg, are you sure you didn't see an opportunity to send the children away so you could marry their governess?" Agathe asked him. "Honestly, what on Earth were you thinking?"

The implication that his marriage to Maria was a monumental mistake stung. He had to look away. Maria had warned him that cruel, heartless people would spread rumours. Clearly, they'd been doing that. But these were people who he'd consider more than mere acquaintances, possibly even friends. He'd never cared what people thought of him, he never wasted time on their opinions. But, he'd be damned if he was going to let anyone pass judgement on Maria, unfairly destroying her reputation to satisfy their need for gossip and scandal.

"I don't know what stories you've heard. To be honest, I don't want to know," Georg looked back to meet Agathe's eyes. "I don't care what lies people have made up. I know the truth."

"But, Georg, the governess? Really?" It wasn't a question, much more an accusation. "As if that wasn't bad enough, she was also a nun for heaven's sake! Have you completely lost your mind?" she whispered, still mindful that the children or staff might overhear.

Lost his mind? God, after all this time, he felt like he'd only just found it. Georg tightened his grip on the arms of his chair, trying to control his anger.

"It's true, Maria was the governess, but she was never a nun," Georg struggled to keep his voice low. "I sent a request to the Reverend Mother asking her to help find a governess for the children. She sent Maria, who hadn't yet been accepted as a novice. She was hardly a nun."

"But Georg, you must understand how this looks," Agathe continued. "A young girl under your care, looking after your children. She's barely older than your own daughter," she shook her head disapprovingly.

"What?!" Georg hissed across the table. "Maria's in her twenties, hardly a teenager."

"Be that as it may, while all this is going on in front of your children, the woman you're supposed to be courting is staying under the same roof."

"I can assure you that there was nothing _going on_. For God's sake, Agathe, I ended things with Elsa first," Georg said. "I really don't like what you're suggesting."

"Georg, I never thought Elsa would be a suitable mother for the children, but at least she wasn't… how should I put it…? Compromised…" Agathe finally settled on a word that summed up all the stories she'd heard over the past hours.

"Compromised?!" Georg's eyes narrowed as his voice took on a cold, dangerous tone. What in God's name had people been saying? "That's it, Agathe! I've heard enough! I will not have you talk about Maria like this," Georg stood and turned to leave.

"Georg…" Agathe called after him. "Don't you dare walk away. Not again…"

"It saddens me, but you've made it very clear how you feel," Georg's tone was cold and menacing as he turned back to face her. "We won't impose on you any longer. Maria and I will help the children pack their bags, then we'll be on our way," he turned and started striding across the terrace.

"Wait! Georg!" Agathe called out after him. "That won't be necessary. Please…" he turned around again to face her. "Please, for the sake of the children, at least stay tonight..."

 **Thank you everyone for continuing to read and review.**

 **When I started this chapter, I really didn't want to stereotype Agathe's mother as the awful mother-in-law. Unfortunately, by the chapter's end, that's what she seemed to evolve into. (And sorry, it's so annoying that she's also called Agathe…)**

 **I really didn't want to finish here, but there was so much that Maria and Georg had to explain to everyone – it all just took longer than I'd hoped.**

 **Please check out "Life In A Glass House" by Radiohead, it has a wonderful jazz sound. It was a song written in response to people (in particular, through the media) prying into people's personal lives, distorting the facts and blowing them out of all proportion. Of course, people who criticise others and find fault with them, are usually hiding their own faults (hell, we all have them!). It's a play on that wonderful saying: "People in glass houses shouldn't throw stones."**

 **Clearly, I don't own TSOM, just having a lend for little bit longer!**

 **"** **Immerse your soul in love"**


	26. Chapter 26

**Heaven sent you to me** **  
To me, to me  
We are accidents waiting  
Waiting to happen  
We are accidents waiting  
Waiting to happen **

**"** **There There" Radiohead "Hail To The Thief" (2003)**

He found her in the bedroom. The room was dimly lit by the light from the bedside lamp, its warm, golden glow a contrast to the moon's silvery light streaming through the windows. Georg closed the door quietly behind him. She was standing across the room, her back to him, still wearing her blue dress. He smiled. He'd insisted she pack it. The blue dress that held so many memories. He could probably recall every night she wore that dress. Even now, seeing her in it never failed to take his breath away.

They'd freshened up and changed out of their travelling clothes before dinner. Wearing the dark navy suit he'd worn to their wedding, he leaned back against the door, folding his arms, watching her. Wondering how in God's name they'd found each other. For so long, they'd occupied such different worlds, it was a miracle their paths had even crossed. And yet, here they were. Together.

The few bags they'd smuggled over the border were open on the bed. They'd filled most of the luggage space with winter clothes for the children, some of the children's most treasured possessions and memories of Agathe. He'd only planned to bring a handful of photographs, but Maria had insisted. She'd even given up precious space to make sure they bought more. _God, he loved her._ She was right, it was important for the children. After all, they'd only just reconnected with Agathe's memory over the summer. Thanks to Maria, he'd only just allowed them. All of them. Including himself.

He didn't have to ask what was troubling her. As much as they'd tried to pretend for the sake of the children, the air had only become more strained as the afternoon dragged into the evening. After their angry words on the terrace, he'd left Agathe in search of Maria and the children. He'd had every intention of leaving right then and there. He'd be damned if he'd stand by and let anyone pass judgement on Maria. How dare anyone question why he'd married her? He didn't care who they were.

He'd found Maria and Hede in one of the sitting rooms, trying to settle the children, who were struggling to understand why they wouldn't be returning home. It was impossible for the little ones to grasp. After the summer, their world at the villa had once again become something magical, filled with laughter and love, where only good things happened.

As much as the older children tried their best to understand, he could see through their bravado and forced smiles. He'd grown used to seeing that hurt and anger in their eyes. It had been there whenever he had to leave them and their mother behind to return to the naval base. It had been there for four long years after Agathe passed away. They'd thought those days were behind them. He had too. But once again, their lives were being disrupted. And he was to blame.

It had taken some time before the children were settled and he was able to speak to Maria. She'd begged him to at least let them stay until tomorrow. She was right, of course. She always was. The last thing the children needed was an ugly scene involving him and their grandmother. It was bad enough that they'd argued on the terrace. Leaving suddenly, so late in the day, would be far too difficult. And, as Maria pointed out, they had nowhere else to go. It wouldn't be easy trying to find somewhere to stay with seven children.

Watching her now, hugging herself as she stared out into the night sky, he could see she was brooding. It was obvious in the way she held herself. His heart broke for her, his body aching to hold her. Despite telling her over and over that it didn't matter what Agathe or anyone else thought, he'd seen the sadness in her eyes. He hadn't wanted to tell her about the argument on the terrace, but he couldn't hide it from her. She wouldn't want him to.

This was exactly what she'd warned him about. The gossip, the lies, the damage to his family. This was why she'd begged him to take back his marriage proposal. One day, away from all this madness, she'd realise how impossible that would have been. She was his everything. Nothing else mattered, none of it mattered, if she wasn't with him. He couldn't care less what anyone thought, let them make up their stories. He'd decided not to go into details with her. She didn't need to know what cruel things people were saying.

Tugging his tie loose, he pulled it over his head and dropped it on the end of the bed as he made his way toward her. He'd already explained that none of this was her fault. It was his fault that they had to leave Austria. If anyone should feel guilty, it should be him. He'd just have to tell her again. _God, he despised these people_ …

Maria had been staring out the window for a while now. She'd gone to draw the drapes across the windows, but the night sky had caught her attention. She'd been captivated by the stars and the way the moonlight played on the water across the road from the villa. The sea swelling and rolling into the beach, only to retreat and surge again, was mesmerising. Strangely calming. She'd actually lost track of time as her thoughts drifted.

Agathe's reception out on the terrace had been a little frosty, which was understandable. She'd expected that their arrival would be met with surprise and a little shock. Suddenly, she'd gone from governess to wife and mother. It was natural that the children's grandmother would be wary, even a little concerned.

But she hadn't expected the gossip to have reached her so soon. Not before they'd had a chance to explain why they were there. Maria knew the gossip would be vicious and unkind. After all, she'd been subjected to a summer of withering looks and snide remarks from Baroness Schraeder. She'd seen the amusement the Baroness and Max had found in gossiping about their friends and acquaintances. Maria had hoped that Agathe would see through it all, even ignore it, if she got to know her, got used to her being part of the family, before she heard the stories. Unfortunately, Agathe's mood didn't seem to improve and she was even icier by the end of the night.

Maria sighed. She should have known Georg's reaction, that he'd become angry. Horrified when he'd told her about the argument with Agathe, she wished she hadn't left them alone on the terrace. If she'd stayed, she could have stopped him before things went too far. She smiled grimly. He certainly wasn't a patient man, and it _had_ felt good to know that he'd leapt to her defence.

Having convinced Georg they should at least stay the night, they all tried to make the best of the situation for the children. But, as the evening wore on, she'd wondered more than a few times whether staying had been the right decision. Perhaps they should have left while it was still daylight. Despite having hit it off with Hede almost instantly, dinner had been strained. Agathe's mood seemed to be getting worse as the evening wore on.

It didn't help that the children had already decided they should start calling her _mother_ by the time Georg had arrived in the sitting room from the terrace. She hugged herself a little tighter at the thought of the seven beautiful children with such big, open hearts. By the time Agathe had finally joined them, the children were more settled. They'd even been sharing some laughs, as they tried to put the children at ease.

Dinner had been awkward. The air between Georg and Agathe had been strained, with Georg bristling at any trace of a disparaging tone or hint of disrespect from Agathe. Poor Hede had been caught in the middle and played peacemaker most of the evening. At least after dinner, when they were back in the sitting room, Agathe seemed to relax a little. At least it was something.

The children had begged Georg to get the guitar, and rest of the evening was spent singing all the songs she'd taught them over the summer. Whenever she stole a glance in Agathe's direction, she could see how proud she was of the children. At least that was something, even if she still remained cold towards Georg and seemed to be doing her best to pretend that she wasn't there.

Eventually, Georg had told the children it was time for bed. They'd begged for one more song, telling him it was his turn to sing Edelweiss. After the night of the puppet show, it had become the last song of the evening. But she'd known straight away that he wouldn't be able to sing it for the children. Not tonight. Not after all that had happened. How could he sing about his love for his homeland when he been forced to flee? Abandoning it to a band of madmen. She'd quickly stepped in and bundled the children out of the sitting room. She wondered how long it would be before she would hear him sing Edelweiss again…

Looking out at the night sky littered with hundreds of stars blinking back at her, she gave a little start as she felt a hand on her waist. Goodness, she'd been so lost in her own thoughts. Normally she could sense Georg's presence. Could feel him close, even before she felt his touch. She always had. Long before her body even knew the feel of his hand. Well before her body had craved for him, ached for him.

"Oh, Georg, you startled me…" she whispered as she leaned back against his warmth, enveloping herself in his musky scent. Suddenly, with his arms around her, things didn't seem so bad.

"Sorry, Darling," he buried his cheek against her hair, pulling her closer. "Everything alright?" he asked, although he already knew the answer to that question.

"I'm just watching the moonlight playing on the sea…" Maria whispered as she felt his arms tighten around her waist. "I can see why you fell in love with it. It's beautiful..." She'd been tired, so he'd sent her off to bed while he settled the children down for bed. It had taken longer than it should have. Despite their sadness about not going home, they were excited and happy to be together again. As a family.

"How are the children?" Maria asked in a quiet voice, enjoying being back in his arms.

"Finally settled," Georg confirmed, smiling as he felt her shiver as his warm breath brushed her ear. "They're all asleep, except Liesl and Brigitta."

"Both reading?" Maria guessed, already knowing the answer.

"Mmmhmm…" Georg answered, leaning his cheek against her and breathing in her familiar scent.

"I might check on them in a while," Maria settled back against his chest, enjoying the feel of his arms tighten around her waist.

"You've missed them, haven't you?" he smiled against her hair, recalling how much she'd wanted to join him to tuck the children into bed, to read the young ones a story. _God, they'd still be there!_

"More than I realised…" she answered softly, closing her eyes as he kissed her temple.

"What do you have there, Fraulein?" Georg asked, only just realising that she'd been hugging something to her chest.

"Oh… it's nothing, really…" Maria's eyes flew open as her cheeks start to grow warm.

"Nothing…?" Georg asked.

"Oh, Georg, I know we promised we wouldn't bring anything unless it was necessary… but, well…" Maria tried to explain. There had been so little room in the car, but she just had to smuggle this in her bag. "I just couldn't leave it behind…" she turned in his arms, her copy of "Pride and Prejudice" peeking out from between her arm and chest. "It's silly, really… but, it was my first gift… well, since my parents…" she looked down at her toes, trying to find the courage to look up to his eyes. "The first gift you bought me…" she whispered, glancing up.

Georg brought his hand up to gently cup her cheek. He smiled as he felt her lean against the palm of his hand. Slowly bringing his lips down to hers, he brushed them tenderly with his own. "I'm glad you brought it…" he whispered before finding her lips again for a deeper kiss. "I love that it means so much to you," he kissed her again, realising how much he'd missed her touch, her taste. "To both of us…"

Maria buried her head against Georg's shoulder, certain that she couldn't be happier, as she brought her hand up to rest on his arm.

"What is that, Fraulein?" Georg asked, looking down in the shadows. She was holding something delicate between her fingertips.

Maria pulled back from him and moved her hand between them, so he could see what she was holding. She smiled up at him. "Remember the piece of edelweiss you gave to me? The day you returned from Vienna…" she looked down at the pressed stem. The precious white flowers always took her back to those moments they shared in Georg's study. He'd been so adorably awkward, she'd been so terribly embarrassed.

"You kept it…?" he asked her, certain his heart was about to burst.

"Georg, how couldn't I?" she smiled at it, then turned her face up to meet his, that all too familiar feeling taking hold as she started to lose herself in his eyes. The following day, she'd taken some tissue paper from the children's school room and had carefully pressed the edelweiss between the pages of one of the heavy books, one that the children rarely touched. Occasionally, she would get the volume down from the high shelf to sneak a look, making sure that it was still there, still intact, as it was slowly being preserved over the days and weeks.

That little piece of edelweiss quickly became a symbol of her feelings for the Captain. As it changed from something delicate, something fresh and new, to something she could hold onto and cherish forever. Back then, she'd imagined that her love for the Captain would be her own secret. Preserved in time and carried forever in her heart, hidden from everyone, kept out of sight. Especially from him.

"I have a small confession to make…" he whispered, as he wrapped a hand around the one that was holding onto the edelweiss. "Brigitta suggested I give you the edelweiss as an apology. But as I was handing it over, I wanted to give you so much more…" he gave her a lopsided grin, remembering his awkward apology. "I'd wished I was giving you a whole bunch of edelweiss…" he bent down to kiss her forehead. "Later, I imagined I'd given you stems of blue irises to match your eyes…" he kissed her neck as she giggled against his ear. "That night, I dreamed I was giving you a bouquet of red roses…" he whispered as his lips found hers. "I'd behaved so badly, I had so much to thank you for…" he murmured against her lips, as he pulled her against him, as he kissed her. "I wanted you even then…" he whispered. He'd only just returned from Vienna, but God knows, he was already in the middle…

"Oh, Georg…" Maria murmured as his lips were on hers, his kisses quickly becoming more demanding. The arm around her waist was pulling her against him, clutching at her, telling her how much he wanted her. The moan that escaped her lips was quickly swallowed by his urgent, desperate, kisses.

"Georg…" Maria whispered against his lips as she tried to catch her breath.

"Mmmm….?" He murmured as he began to trace her jawline with his mouth.

"Georg…" Maria tried to think, but his lips tugging at her skin, the stubble on his jaw scraping, tickling her skin, were such a distraction. "Georg… I should check on the children…" she somehow managed to say.

"Mmmhmm..." Georg agreed reluctantly, his lips leaving her just as he was about to start teasing her neck. "Just don't be too long, Darling…" he whispered, staring at her with darkening eyes.

"I'll only be a few minutes," Maria promised, looking away from him before all sensible thoughts evaporated, before she lost herself in his eyes.

"Please…don't be long…" he caught her hand in his as she turned to leave, running his thumb across the back of her hand.

"I'm sure they're all fast asleep by now," Maria's hand slipped from Georg's as she turned away from him again.

"Maria…" his warm baritone had her spinning around to face him. "I _will_ come looking for you…" he fixed her with a searing gaze. She gave him a knowing smile before turning away. They both knew what he meant. Not long after returning from Vienna, he'd check on the children before retiring for the night. He'd often find Maria in one of their rooms, just sitting, watching them sleep.

Maria slipped quietly out of the guest bedroom into the dark hallway. On such a moonlit night back at the villa, she could easily find her way around the halls in the middle of the night. The large windows would let in the moonlight, lighting her way as she'd go to check on the children, sneak down to the kitchen or if she just needed to slip out the back door, beckoned by the beauty of the night, having to be part of it.

But she was finding the hallways in this villa were much darker. As her eyes adjusted, it became a little easier to find her way along the hall without bumping into one of the side tables.

Before dinner, the children had taken her and Georg on a tour of their grandmother's villa, to show them their bedrooms. They'd all settled in so well, even after only a week, that their rooms had their own possibilities. It was another reason why she told Georg they should at least stay tonight. Here, the children felt at home. After being told they wouldn't be returning to Salzburg, that was more important than ever. It would have just added to their trauma if they tried to tear them away from here so suddenly. Especially when they had no plans. Thankfully, Georg had agreed.

Finding herself outside the room shared by the boys, she quietly opened the door and peaked inside. She smiled. As always, the boys were fast asleep. They never had any trouble falling asleep. She turned and closed the door silently behind her.

The next room along the hallway was shared by Gretl and Marta. The poor things had been so tired. They'd been forcing themselves to stay awake, to keep up with their older brothers and sisters, as they sang songs long after dinner. Gretl had finally fallen asleep in Georg's arms, while Marta had fallen asleep with her head resting on Liesl's lap. Both young girls were sleeping soundly.

Liesl had the next room along the hall to herself. She'd whispered to Maria as they were being shown around that she was glad that her grandmother finally realised she didn't need to be sharing a room with her younger sisters anymore. Not at her age. Yes, she certainly was growing up! Maria would try to spend some time alone with Liesl tomorrow. She would be sad that she wouldn't be seeing the telegram boy again. And she'd struggled to believe how the youth group he'd joined during summer had something to do with the men wanting to recruit her father. It was a lot for her to take in. Knocking gently on the door before popping her head into the room, she was pleased to see that Liesl had fallen asleep.

The room next to Liesl was shared by Louisa and Brigitta. They'd both been devastated by the news that they wouldn't be returning home. She could understand Louisa's sadness, she felt it in her own heart. Being told that she'd never see the mountains, the lakes or run through the fields and forests surrounding the villa like they did all summer, was devastating. Brigitta had been upset at the thought of not returning to school after the summer break.

Maria held onto the door handle, knowing that of all the children, these two would miss their home perhaps the most. She turned the handle slowly and quietly opened the door. Almost instantly, she could hear the sound of muffled crying from Brigitta's bed. She quickly walked across the room and sat down on the edge of the bed.

"Brigitta... Sweetheart..." Maria whispered as she reached out to brush Brigitta's hair away from her tear stained face.

"Moth-er..." Brigitta managed to hiccup through her tears as she sat up and threw her arms around her.

Maria's heart broke for the poor girl. Holding her tightly, she ran a soothing hand up and down Brigitta's back. After a summer of checking on the children, a quick glance across to Louisa's bed told her that she was fast asleep. As she cradled Brigitta against her, muffling the sobs, she recalled how many times she'd comforted the children when she'd first arrived at the villa. As the summer continued and the children became happier, she'd often just sit and watch them sleep, wondering how she could ever say goodbye, how she could leave them and their father, when it came to return time to the Abbey.

"Come on, why don't you come with me?" Maria whispered into Brigitta's hair as she held her tight. As tears filled her own eyes, she could feel the small girl nod against her.

Letting her go, Maria stood up and turned back the bedcovers. Maria watched Brigitta get out of bed and held out her hand to her. She squeezed Brigitta's hand when she felt the small fingers take hold of hers. Checking on Louisa again before she grabbed a blanket off the end of Brigitta's bed, Maria led her out of the bedroom.

Closing the door silently behind them, Maria held Brigitta's hand as they made their way quietly along the hallway towards the staircase.

"Where...are we...going...?" Brigitta tried to whisper, but it was hard enough just to breathe through all the tears.

"Let's go downstairs, Sweetheart," Maria bent down and whispered. She really hadn't thought that far ahead, but she knew that if they stayed in her room, Louisa would have been disturbed and she'd have two distraught girls on her hands. "We'll just sit on the sofa in the sitting room for a little while," she suggested. "Would you like that?"

"Yes…" came Brigitta's sad reply.

"Good, because it will make me feel better too," Maria admitted in a soft voice as they walked hand in hand down the stairs, Brigitta's bare feet padding along beside her.

"Really?" Brigitta asked.

"Oh, yes, much better," Maria answered as brightly as she could in a quiet voice. "It will remind me that as much as I'm going to miss the villa and Salzburg, the most important thing is that I still have you children and your father."

They'd reached the sitting room and Maria led Brigitta across the dark room to the settee where they'd been singing songs and laughing together as a family only a short while ago. Stopping to turn on one of the side lamps, she was thankful that she couldn't hear anyone else stirring in the villa as they sat down on the sofa. After wrapping Brigitta up in the blanket she'd been carrying under her arm, Maria pulled her into her arms. Bending down, she kissed the top of the girl's head. At least the crying had stopped, replaced by a bout of hiccups and a few sniffles.

Neither of them heard the soft footsteps that came to a stop in the hallway just outside the sitting room.

"I'm not sure about you Sweetheart, but I feel better already," Maria whispered as she held her a little tighter against her.

"So do I…" Brigitta wiped her tears on the edge of the blanket.

"Good!" Maria smiled as she brushed Brigitta's hair from her flushed face.

"Mother…" Brigitta started in a quiet voice. "I like calling you Mother…" she admitted a little louder.

"Oh, Brigitta, I love hearing you call me Mother," Maria said with tears in her eyes as she kissed her head again.

"Mother," Brigitta began again, "did they really want Father to join the navy again?"

"Yes, I'm afraid they did, Sweetheart," Maria answered.

"I'm glad he told them he wouldn't," Brigitta admitted as she played with the stitching on the edge of the blanket.

"I'm glad too…" Maria answered quietly, unsure how she would have coped.

"I couldn't remember… him being in the navy…" Brigitta admitted. "But… after Mamma died… when Father used to leave us… well, we all hated it. Liesl and Friedrich told us that was what it was like, when he used to leave us to go back to the war…"

"Your mother was a very strong woman," Maria had often marvelled at Agathe, knowing that Georg left, he may not return. She couldn't imagine all those hours alone at home. Always thinking the worst. Always praying for the best. This past week, she'd developed even more respect for the woman. "It would have been so difficult with your father going away."

"Can I tell you a secret…" Brigitta looked up, the frown on her face matching the tinge of guilt in her voice. "I can't really remember her…"

"But Sweetheart, you were so young!" Maria brushed her cheek affectionately. "I was a little older than you when both my parents passed away suddenly, and no matter how much I try, I struggle to remember them."

"Really?" Brigitta asked, the relief evident in her voice.

"Yes," Maria smiled at her. "I used to feel guilty, but then I realised that I was so young at the time, how could I remember."

"But I'm worried I won't remember her at all," Brigitta was sad again. "Especially now…"

"Now?" Maria asked.

"It feels like we've left her behind…" Brigitta wiped a tear from her eye.

"Sweetheart, that's why we brought photographs and reminders of your mother with us," Maria told her. "We want all of you to remember what a strong, amazing woman she was. She loved all you children so much"

"Thank you…" Brigitta said in a quiet voice.

"Hmmm, what for?" Maria smoothed her dark hair.

"For letting me talk about Mamma with you," she answered.

"I want you to talk about her as often as you like, to me or your father," Maria watched a smile tug at the corners of Brigitta's mouth, as she pulled her to her again. "Now, why don't you close your eyes and try to get some sleep?"

Maria watched on as Brigitta rested her head on her lap and closed her eyes. Running her hand slowly, tenderly, up and down her arm, Maria started humming softly.

"Mother…?" Brigitta began again.

"Yes, Sweetheart?" Maria asked, pulling the blanket up over Brigitta's shoulders.

"I'm really glad Father isn't joining the navy…" she said through heavy eyes.

"So am I…" Maria replied wistfully, wondering how she could ever face what Agathe had to for all those years. It would have broken her heart, farewelling him as he returned to battle, never knowing if he would be badly injured, or whether he'd ever come back at all…

"It was bad enough after Mamma…" Brigitta interrupted Maria's thoughts.

"Mmmmm?" Maria replied absentmindedly.

"When he left, we never knew when he'd come back..." Brigitta murmured, letting out a yawn. "Sometimes, we wondered if he ever would…"

"He's here with us now, Sweetheart," Maria's eyes stung with tears at all the children had been through, at the paralysing grief that had gripped Georg. "Your father and I aren't going anywhere… I promise..."

Maria started humming, as Brigitta's breathing grew steady, heavier, sleep quickly finding her.

Humming to herself, thankful that they'd escaped together, as a family, Maria didn't hear the guilty feet shuffling in the hallway…

 **Thank you everyone for continuing to read and review my story. Not long to go now!**

 **I still don't own TSOM, still just having a lend.**

 **"** **Immerse your soul in love"**


	27. Chapter 27

**I won't run away no more, I promise  
Even when the ship is wrecked, I promise  
Tie me to the rotten deck, I promise  
(I won't run away no more, I promise)**

 **"** **I Promise" Radiohead "OK Computer OKNOTOK 1997 2017"**

Maria smiled as she looked down at Brigitta curled up on the settee beside her. Sleep had finally found her, the weight of her head resting on Maria reminding her how much she'd missed the children. Their laughter, their affection. Even their tears. Brigitta's breathing was deep and steady, the look of peace and content on her face bearing no resemblance to the sadness and despair from a short while ago. Maria tenderly brushed hair away from a cheek that was no longer flushed and puffy from the earlier tears.

After a summer with the children, Maria had quickly learned how to soothe them, settle them and somehow remind them that no matter how bad today was, the sun would come out again tomorrow. It always did. No matter how dark and difficult everything seemed. But over the summer, the scrapes the children found themselves in were easily solved with a few kind words and a warm hug. Suddenly, the world had changed for them all, and they were no longer able to hide from it behind the safety of the villa walls. This week, the madness outside had found them.

Maria knew she should feel worried about tomorrow. After all, they would be leaving here and moving on to somewhere unknown. Understandably, the children had clung to her and Georg since they'd arrived earlier in the day. So much so, she'd barely had ten minutes alone with Georg. They'd hardly discussed when they'd tell the children that they'd all be moving on tomorrow, let alone where they'd go. They planned to tell the children in the morning, deciding they already had more than enough news to digest for one day. Softly humming one of the little ditties she'd made up for the children over summer, it struck her how worried she should be. They were leaving tomorrow and didn't know where they were going. She should be terrified. But, she actually felt strangely at peace.

Sitting here, watching sleep taking hold of Brigitta, she wasn't fearing the unknown. In fact, the night of the party, she'd been filled with much more terror. Then, the thought of leaving the children and their father, of never seeing them again, had been unbearable. The pain in her heart had been overwhelming, the ache of never holding the children again, almost too much. Forever denying, burying her feelings for the Captain, too much to face. Especially after they'd danced. After she'd felt certain he'd nearly kissed her. As she'd waited at the dark, damp bus stop for a bus that never came, it had been difficult to breathe. She should have been happy to be returning to the Abbey, the place that had been her home for so long, instead the anxiety had been overwhelming.

But now, knowing that Georg and the children would always be with her, they'd always be a family, it really didn't matter where tomorrow would take them. She wasn't worried about what lay ahead. They were together. That was all that mattered.

Maria wondered how long she'd been sitting here with Brigitta. She'd only planned to check on the children, promising Georg she wouldn't be long. She could still carry Gretl and Marta in her arms, but it would be impossible to even try carrying Brigitta up the stairs. Running her hand gently up and down Brigitta's arm, she could see she'd fallen into a deep sleep. Hopefully, Georg would find them soon. She smiled. He'd promised to come looking for her if she was gone too long. She was looking forward to being back in his arms. Closing her eyes, humming softly, she marvelled at how her life had taken such a turn this past week. Surely, she hadn't done nearly enough to deserve so much…

Maria's thoughts were suddenly interrupted by a sound from the doorway. Her eyes flew open, expecting to see Georg. Instead, she stopped humming and let out a gasp. Agathe was walking across the room towards her. In the dim light, it was difficult to read her expression, impossible to tell whether her mood had improved from earlier in the evening. Unfortunately, Maria couldn't think of any reason why it would have.

"I'm so sorry..." Maria began in a quiet voice, not wanting to wake Brigitta. "I hope we didn't disturb you." She knew it was silly, but she found herself trying to shrink further into the settee.

"No, you didn't disturb me," Agathe said in a low voice. "I noticed the light from upstairs and thought I'd come to investigate," she explained quietly as she took a seat in the armchair beside Maria.

"She couldn't sleep?" Agathe asked, nodding at Brigitta.

"She was just a little upset," Maria looked down and smoothed the girl's dark hair tenderly. "Now she's asleep, I don't want to wake her," she smiled at the bundle in her lap. "Please, don't stay up on our account," Maria glanced across to Agathe.

"I'll stay with you for a short while," Agathe answered in a soft voice. "It will give us a chance to get to know each other," she forced a smile in Maria's direction. A smile that was gone almost as soon as it appeared.

"Oh…" Maria flashed a nervous smile back at Agathe, noticing for the first time that her eyes were the same brilliant blue as Liesl's.

"You certainly have a way with the children, Maria," Agathe straightened out a wrinkle in her skirt.

"They're wonderful..." Maria replied quietly, still concentrating her attention on Brigitta, who thankfully hadn't stirred. "It would be impossible not to fall under their spell," she glanced across to Agathe for a moment, before looking back down.

"Perhaps," Agathe admitted. "But there's a long trail of governesses who would disagree with you. There was a time, not that long ago, when they were rather..." she stopped for a moment, searching for the right word, "...unruly."

"Oh, they were just trying to get a little attention," Maria gently defended the children, stopping short of explaining that it was their father's attention they'd been most desperate for.

"Still, they've changed," Agathe continued. "You've obviously been a wonderful governess."

"Honestly, it wasn't difficult…" trying to overcome her nerves, trying to sound more confident than she felt, Maria ignored the not so subtle sting in Agathe's words. A reminder of her rightful position in the household. A reminder that she'd overstepped her station by marrying her employer.

"The children were just hurting from the loss of their mother..." Maria quickly looked back at Agathe as she sucked in a sharp breath. Why on Earth did she blurt out whatever came into her head? "Forgive me. That was so thoughtless of me…" She couldn't believe she'd spoken about the children's mother like she was a complete stranger to the woman sitting beside her. "It must have been so awful for you as well," her voice softened. "Such a shock to lose your daughter, so suddenly. I'm so sorry."

"Thank you," Agathe nodded, a little surprised by Maria's kind words of sympathy. Not many had acknowledged her loss when Agathe had passed. Few seemed to understand the pain of losing a child. It seemed people thought it should be less painful given her daughter's age. After everyone's sympathy was given out to Georg and the children, perhaps there just wasn't enough left for her. Perhaps she wasn't expected to grieve her loss or feel the emptiness of Agathe's absence as sharply. But the old saying was true. Parents should never have to bury their child. "It was a shock for all of us..." she added quietly.

"I lost both my parents by the time I was Marta's age," Maria decided she should shift the conversation back to the children. "Of course, for the children it was different… but, who knows, maybe it helped me understand them a little better than most."

"I'm sorry to hear that, Maria," Agathe's eyes narrowed as she watched Maria straighten Brigitta's nightgown. Perhaps there was more to this young woman. "I'm sure there's something in that. Perhaps losing your parents at a young age did help you connect with the children in some way." Heaven knows, there _was_ something about this young woman that had struck a chord with the children. _And_ their father, she thought wryly.

"Maria…" Agathe began.

"Yes?" Maria looked up from Brigitta.

"You know I only have my grandchildren's interests at heart, don't you?" Agathe asked. She was actually warming to the young woman. She was certainly grateful for what she'd done for the children.

"Of course!" Maria answered, smiling across to the armchair beside her, after all, what grandmother didn't love their grandchildren? Looking closer at the older woman, she was sure she noticed a small change. She seemed to have soften a little.

"Whatever you've done, Maria, however you've done it, it's obvious that the children are so much happier," Agathe allowed herself a thin smile in Maria's direction. She paused, turning her eyes down to Brigitta, sleeping heavily. As moments passed, as she wondered how best to pose her question to Maria, the small girl's breathing was the only sound filling the sitting room.

"I need to ask you something..." looking back across to Maria, Agathe decided it was best to be direct. There seemed no point skirting around. "I need to ask you about some things I've been told. Some troubling things I've heard..."

"It's started already, hasn't it?" Maria's eyes widened, and she could feel her cheeks begin to redden. "I told Georg people would say terrible things..." Oh heavens, she couldn't even imagine what they'd been saying. Her hand flew to her mouth. "I begged him not to marry me…" her eyes were starting to sting. "I told him to think of the children…" she swallowed back a ball of tears, determined she wasn't going to cry. Whatever they'd said, she wouldn't cry. Oh, where was Georg? She needed Georg. "I told him I would bring nothing but shame..."

"Shame?!" Agathe exclaimed. _Dear Lord, it must be true!_

"I don't belong to his world, your world..." Maria continued, pulling a sleeping Brigitta further into her arms, trying to find some comfort. "I don't know the first thing about any of this..." her eyes flashed around the room, taking in all the opulence and grace. "But he wouldn't listen to me..."

"Maria, please!" holding up a hand, Agathe interrupted her. "I just need you to answer one question."

Maria stopped and looked at Agathe. "Yes?" she asked in a quiet voice.

"Forgive me for being so blunt, Maria," she explained, "but I don't think you want me to dance around…"

"Please, just ask me…" Maria interrupted, wondering how bad it could possibly be.

"Are you carrying Georg's child?"

"What?!" Maria hissed so loudly Brigitta stirred. Looking down, waiting for Brigitta to settle back, Maria could feel her cheeks growing red again, her face getting hot from the tears that she stubbornly refused to shed. Why did people have to be so cruel? Why did they have to make up such awful, hurtful gossip?

"Maria..." Agathe said quietly. "It's what I've been told. People have told me that you were _carrying on_ with Georg for most of the summer. I am the grandmother of his children. Please, is it true?"

"No. It's not true..." Maria replied in a quiet voice, horrified that people had been spreading such lies. "None of it…" she was mortified to find herself even discussing such a thing with Agathe's mother.

"So, none of this is true?" Maria's reaction seemed genuine. Thankfully, it seemed that the rumours were baseless.

"Carrying on all summer? Never! Nothing happened…" Maria said defiantly. "We didn't even declare our feelings until after Baroness Schraeder returned to Vienna last week."

"I'm sorry, but I had to ask," Agathe apologised. Maria hadn't wavered in her response. Clearly, it was just idle gossip. Perhaps Elsa or her friends were behind it, she wondered to herself. God knows, Elsa had enjoyed parading Georg around like some prized trophy. It must have come as a huge blow when Georg suddenly called things off to wed his governess.

"None of it is true," Maria said quietly, interrupting Agathe's thoughts as she stared down at her lap. " _Nothing_ happened until after we were married..." Maria could feel her cheeks burning.

"Forgive me, I had to ask," Agathe reached out to touch the young woman's arm and gave it a reassuring squeeze. "Everything happened so fast, it's bound to raise eyebrows. When good friends spoke to me this morning, they were concerned, you see..."

"Is that why you and Georg argued?" Maria asked looking up at Agathe.

"He told you?" Agathe asked abruptly.

"Please, don't be upset with him," Maria's voice was low. "He didn't need to say anything," she smiled as her thoughts turned to the one person in the world who accepted her for who she was. "It's so easy to tell when he's angry," she added, answering Agathe's questioning frown. "He said you weren't happy with him… that there'd been gossip. But he wouldn't tell me what they were saying about us. About me…"

"I'm sorry, Maria," Agathe could see the sadness in Maria's eyes. It struck her that such beautiful eyes should be filled with happiness, the sadness and pain looked so out of place. "Forgive me," she offered again.

"Agathe, there's nothing to forgive," Maria actually appreciated that she'd asked her directly. At least Agathe wouldn't go on thinking so little of her. "You can't control what people think or say. None of us can," she shrugged her shoulders.

Neither of the women heard the footsteps coming down the stairs and stopping in the shadows in the hallway just outside the sitting room door.

"Thank you for being so understanding," Agathe smiled.

"I told Georg you'd be shocked to see us turning up on your doorstep, without any warning, married and homeless," Maria gave her a grim smile. "I understand."

"Was it really that bad?" Agathe asked. "Did the Germans really want Georg to join their navy?"

"It was awful…" Maria shivered as the memories of that night came flooding back to her. "We had a visit one night, earlier this week. One of their local men came to the villa. A powerful man. A horrible, nasty man…" Maria trailed off as she recalled his words, his goading from the night of the party. She could see his evil eyes and disgusting smirk. There was something about the man that made her skin crawl.

"But they couldn't force Georg? Not the German navy, surely," Agathe's question interrupted Maria's thoughts.

"Georg had already turned down their offer. This man, Herr Zeller, threatened to use the children to force Georg to join," Maria nodded. "I wasn't there, but I heard him. There were angry words and yelling before Georg threw him out."

"Oh my, I didn't realise…" Agathe was horrified at the thought of anyone daring to touch a hair on the head of any of her grandchildren. "Of course, we've heard about the Anschluss, but I had no idea…"

"It was awful… truly awful…" Maria shuddered again at the thought, her mind struggling to let go of the memories from that evening. "We had no choice. We had to leave…"

"Who would have thought a proud nation like Austria would lower herself so far…" Agathe said, almost to herself, as she shook her head, her thoughts drifting to the sophisticated, noble Austrians. How could they align themselves with a band of uncouth, uneducated Germans? Thankfully her John wasn't alive to see such madness taking hold of the world.

"Maria?" Agathe eventually broke the silence.

"Hmmm...?" Maria looked up. She'd been watching the slow rise and fall of Brigitta's chest, silently thanking God that they were all safe.

"Thank you for making sure the children don't forget," she said quietly.

"Forget?" Maria looked up with a frown.

"About my Agathe…" she added.

"Oh, it's important they remember their mother, it's helped them heal," Maria smiled. "I encourage them to ask questions about her, talk about her, to keep her memory alive," Maria continued. "I hope you don't mind..."

"I overheard you talking to Brigitta about Agathe earlier. Thank you," Agathe said.

"She was a remarkable woman," Maria said softly. "I wish I knew where she got her strength from."

Agathe gave Maria a questioning look, wondering how she could possibly assume she knew a woman she'd never met.

"She had to be a strong woman," Maria continued to explain. "How else could she watch Georg leave time and again, not knowing if it would be the last time she'd see him. I don't know if I could do that."

"That's why she felt blessed with so many children," Agathe smiled to herself as she fondly recalled a conversation from years earlier. "If anything happened to Georg, she'd have the children. She'd be able to see their father in them."

"What a beautiful thought…" Maria said quietly, still in awe at the strength of the children's mother.

"Mmmm… who would have thought that their father would later look on his children and see nothing but the pain and loss of their mother in each of them?" she arched a brow, struggling to hide the irony in her voice.

"It was his way of coping. He loved her so much, his pain was unbearable," Maria couldn't begin to imagine the overwhelming weight of his loss.

"I'm not sure what you did Maria, but for so long Georg tried to pretend my daughter didn't exist..." This visit was the first time she'd been able to speak to the children about their mother without them fearing their father would be upset if he found out.

"Unfortunately, he couldn't heal, the children couldn't, until they faced what had happened," Maria answered. "Unfortunately, it's that simple. And yet, that difficult."

"I hope you don't mind me saying this, but most women would try to ignore what my daughter and Georg had. They'd pretend it didn't exist," Agathe was finding it so refreshing to be able to talk so openly with Maria. "Most women would be jealous of Georg's love for my daughter."

"Jealous? I don't understand why," Maria answered, looking down to Brigitta who murmured something softly, then settled back into her heavy sleep. "Georg has a big heart. There's more than enough room for Agathe, the children and me," she looked up and smiled. "I don't feel like any of us need to try to jostle for our share, or feel jealous or resentful. I certainly don't feel any of that towards Agathe."

"You're so much wiser than your years would suggest, Maria," Agathe smiled.

"Funny, Georg often says the same thing!" Maria laughed quietly, she was actually starting to enjoy her chat with Agathe.

"Erhm…"

Both women spun around to see Georg standing in the doorway, arms folded. "Now, what on Earth are you two ladies up to?" despite sounding serious, he couldn't quite hide his lopsided grin. He was actually pleased that Maria and Agathe were not only having a conversation but seemed to be getting along. He'd been fighting the temptation to interrupt them earlier. He wasn't sure how long they'd been here, so he wondered how much he'd missed. When their conversation had turned to him, he thought he'd better bring an end to his eavesdropping.

"Us? Oh, nothing really…" Maria threw him a smile across the room. He looked so horribly handsome in his open necked shirt, sleeves rolled up and the dim light throwing a shadow across his face.

"Mmmm… nothing? Why do I find that hard to believe?" Georg smiled at Maria as he made his way across to the settee. "She was upset?" he asked quietly as he sat down beside Brigitta and placed a comforting hand on her curled-up legs. Maria nodded. "Poor thing…" he whispered, looking back at Maria. God, he'd forgotten she was wearing her blue dress. How did he forget? He swallowed hard. He needed to concentrate. _For God's sake, concentrate…_

"It took a while to settle her, but she's been fast asleep for a while now," Maria explained, her breath catching as she got caught in one of his searing looks. She turned from him before she became completely lost.

"So then," Georg cleared his throat, "just what have you two been talking about?" Georg looked across to Agathe, who seemed much more relaxed and at ease than when he'd last seen her. He'd overheard them discussing the German's requesting him to join their navy. He'd shuffled uncomfortably as they'd discussed how much happier the children were doing, after he'd made such a mess of everything. He thought his heart would burst when Maria spoke of sharing his him with his first wife and the children. Little wonder he'd fallen in love with her.

Maria turned to look at him and he cocked his head ever so slightly to the side. God, she was breathtaking and beautiful and wise. He wondered what the hell he done to deserve her.

"Georg, if you must know, I was asking Maria about those awful rumours," Agathe interrupted his thoughts.

"What?!" Georg looked at her, his jaw tightening. "What the…"

"Ssshh, Georg! You'll wake Brigitta," Agathe cut him off in a harsh whisper.

"Georg, it's alright," Maria reached out to touch his arm, squeezing it reassuringly. "We were just clearing up a few things, that's all."

"Yes, that's all," Agathe nodded. "Maria's explained everything. And Georg, I'm sorry I even listened to those ridiculous stories. I should never have jumped to conclusions."

"Don't pay any attention to what they're saying," Georg turned to Maria, whispering softly, as if they were the only two in the room. "You know I don't care about any of them."

"I don't either, Georg," Maria smiled at him. "It's upsetting, but I'll just keep reminding myself they're not important. None of that is."

"Are you sure you're alright?" Georg asked Maria quietly, he only knew too well how direct Agathe could be.

"Everything's fine, Georg," Maria smiled. "We've sorted out everything…"

"You said you were planning on leaving tomorrow, Georg," Agathe interrupted. "Why don't you stay? It would be silly to leave when there's plenty of room here."

"Oh, Agathe, that's very kind of you," Maria turned to Georg, raising a brow questioningly. It certainly would be easier to just stay here until they found their feet. They could make sure the children were properly settled before rushing into any decisions about their future.

Georg knew what Maria was thinking, and she was right. It would be so much easier to stay here. "Thank you, Agathe, that's very kind of you," he smiled as he turned toward her. "But only if you're certain…"

"Well, it's all settled then!" Agathe smiled. "Now, you'll have to excuse me. I'm suddenly feeling a little tired from all the day's excitement," she stood to leave. "Good night, I'll see you both in the morning."

Georg and Maria's eye followed Agathe as she left the room. They sat in silence, listening to her footsteps disappearing into the distance as she slowly climbed the stairs.

Georg turned back to Maria, smiling.

"What?!" she asked innocently, trying to hide her knowing smile.

"How do you do it, Fraulein?" Georg asked, reaching across to run the back of his forefinger slowly, seductively down her cheek.

"Do what, Captain?" she asked wide-eyed.

"I'm not sure I even know…" he whispered. "You just have a way of turning things around, of making everyone see sense. See what's really important…" he reached up and brushed a stray lock, tucking it behind her ear. _God she was adorable!_ "You make us all better people…" he held onto her eyes, they were just so beautiful. "You make me a better man…" he added quietly.

"Oh, Georg, I'm not sure I do much at all…" Maria tried to deflect his compliments. "Agathe just needed to know if there was any truth to what she'd been told," she explained. "That's understandable. She just has the children's best interests at heart. She's a good woman…"

Georg bent over and kissed Maria on the cheek. What other woman would be so kind and generous?

"Careful, Georg," Maria whispered. "You'll wake Brigitta!"

"Come on, let's get this one off to bed," Georg nodded down at Brigitta. Standing up, he bent down and gently placed his hands under her and lifted her off Maria's lap and into his arms. "Ssshh, Sweetheart…" he soothed Brigitta softly as she stirred, then buried herself against her father's chest. He waited a few moments for her to settle before standing away from the settee. Looking down at Maria, Georg nodded and smiled.

Maria stood up as well and placed her hand on Georg's arm. Their world had been turned upside down, but she couldn't imagine being any happier. She didn't even care what awful stories were being told about her. She had her family, they were safe, and that's all that mattered.

Georg walked out ahead of her, stopping at the doorway, to turn and watch her switch off the lamp on the side table. When she joined him at the doorway, they both made their way quietly towards the stairs…

Reaching the girl's bedroom, Georg stood aside for Maria to open the door. Louisa was lying in the bed against the far wall, breathing heavily. Maria smiled, thankful that she was sleeping soundly. Pulling back the covers on Brigitta's bed, Maria stood aside and watched on as Georg gently lowered his daughter onto the bed. She stirred a little, mumbled something, then nestled into the soft mattress.

Georg pulled the covers over her and bent to kiss her forehead. He turned to find Maria beside him, smiling. Reaching out, he caught her hand in his, and ran his thumb across the back of her hand as he checked the two sleeping girls one last time.

"Come on, Fraulein," he whispered, turning back to Maria and walking towards the doorway. He closed the door quietly behind them and they walked towards their bedroom, hand in hand. Keeping himself in check, it was difficult not to race her along the hallway. But he didn't want to wake the other children. Heaven knows they'd be up half the night trying to get them back to sleep. Despite each slow, deliberate step that took them closer to their room, his control seemed to slip another notch. Each step, his anticipation grew a little stronger, his need for her became a little more urgent. Tightening his grip on her hand, he reminded himself to take things slowly, not to rush. By the time they came to a stop outside their bedroom, it had become something more, had developed a desperate edge.

Georg reached down to the door handle and let go of Maria's hand as he placed his hand on the small of her back and guided her into their bedroom. It was still bathed in the soft light from one of the bedside lamps. He'd left it on when he went searching for her earlier.

Closing the door behind them, he reached for her hand again, missing her, needing her touch. Desperate to feel her. He caught her fingers, drawing a gasp as she spun around towards him. _Oh God, he could see it in her eyes._ For one short moment, as if time stopped, they stood and looked at each other, unable to move. The air around them growing heavy, heated, thick with desire.

"Georg…" Maria's breath caught as he pulled her gently towards him, catching her in his arms, against her chest, as they fell against the back of the door. Before a squeal of surprise could even escape her lips, his mouth had found hers in a desperate, hungry kiss.

"Maria…" he murmured into her mouth, unable to hide the relief of once again holding her, finally tasting her. _Oh, dear God!_ Her hands were clutching at his hair, as she pushed her body against his, forcing him further into the door. She wanted him! Opening his mouth against hers, she devoured him with a hunger that seemed driven by an instinctive need, by something primal. His hungry, rough kisses were met with impatient, frantic kisses of her own. He was losing himself, was about to lose his last shred of control. As her hands raked through his hair, he realised he was in danger of taking her here, now, against the door…

"Georg…" It was a plea. She wanted him, needed him, was wild for him. A hand had found its way to his chest. Splayed across him, it was now forcing its way under his shirt, clutching at his chest, pulling at his shoulder, her nails scraping against his skin. His mouth on hers, his tongue, his kisses were turning her inside out.

Georg could barely think. His hands tightened instinctively around Maria's waist as he felt her push against him. Their kisses were voracious, desperate with desire. She was moaning softly into his mouth, each one more arousing than the last. Each one making him need her more. He pushed against her, pinning her hips to his. She had to feel what she was doing to him. He wanted her to know. A strangled groan escaped him, somehow, as he felt her pushing back against him.

His greedy kisses weren't enough, he needed to taste all of her. He needed to feel her skin against him, needed to feel every inch of her. Now. He had to possess her, take her. He couldn't wait. _God knows, it had already been too long._ He wanted to bring her apart, hear his name on her swollen lips as he took her to the brink, hold her as she fell over the edge. They needed to find a release. Together. Now. Reluctantly, he tore his mouth from hers. She looked up at him, her eyes dark and wild with desire. Her breathing was ragged, her chest rising and falling rapidly.

"Maria…" Georg barely managed a whisper as he fought for air. Moving his hands up the length of her back, feeling the soft silk of her dress under his desperate fingers, he started fumbling, unfastening her dress. "I need you…" he whispered, unable to tear himself away from her wild eyes. As he tried to catch his breath, he only had one coherent thought, there was only one thing. The only thing. "Maria… I need to make love to you… now…"

ooooXXXXoooo

Looking out towards the horizon with the keen eye of a seaman, the late afternoon breeze ruffled Georg's hair. Not that he cared. It had been a warm day, unusual for so late in the season. But it looked like a change was coming, so it was nice to enjoy the last of the summer days. There probably wouldn't be too many more.

He'd forgotten how much he'd missed the Adriatic. It held so many memories for him. It seemed to have always been playing some part in his life. He'd fought so many battles below these waters, it had been the scene of many of his greatest victories. God, he'd even earned the title "The Dread of the Adriatic." Cringing inwardly, he hoped Maria and the children never discovered that one.

But these days, he preferred to remember a childhood spent playing on the sand, splashing in the water, not far from here. He held fond memories of courting Agathe, his beautiful first wife, along this very stretch of beach. Stealing kisses and making promises that were supposed to last a lifetime. Who knew then that one of their lifetimes would be cut so horribly short?

He wrapped his arm tighter around Maria's waist as the children laughed and splashed in the small waves breaking on the wet sand a distance away. He turned and kissed her hair, smiling as her hands tightened around his arm.

"It's a gorgeous evening, Darling…" Maria sighed as she leaned back against Georg's warmth, muscle and musky scent. This had quickly become one of her favourite times of the day. Coming down to walk along the beach with the children, catching the last hours of daylight before turning home to get ready for dinner.

As a gull cried out overhead, Gretl turned and waved to them from across the sand. Maria lifted a hand from Georg's arm and waved back, smiling as the small girl stifled a giggle behind a hand. "I'm so glad the children are settled again." It had taken some time for them to all get used to the idea that they wouldn't be returning home to Salzburg. The villa would always hold its fond memories. Even for her, and she'd only spent a few months there. But, after all, it's where she met her Captain and fell in love. They'd fallen into such a happy rhythm these past weeks, it seemed like they'd been in Trieste forever.

Of course, she missed the villa, but she was just so grateful to be surrounded by Georg and the children. After a difficult first day, even Agathe seemed happy for them to stay with her as long as they wished. She'd even tried to make amends by scotching the nasty rumours amongst her friends. Regardless, Maria had decided to ignore them, to just rise above them. Let people say what they want. She was too happy to care.

Hede had left two days ago for Paris. An exhibition for one of her artist friends that she just couldn't let pass. Having missed her warmth and no-nonsense friendship almost from the moment she left, Maria couldn't wait for her promised return in a few weeks.

"Mmmm, it is beautiful," Georg whispered against Maria's ear. He smiled as he felt her shiver against him. It was early days, but he'd already discovered some of the ways to encourage a response from her body with just a touch, an unguarded look or a few words. Still, there were many things left to learn. God knows, he was going enjoy himself, every _tortuous_ moment, however long it took, unravelling all of Maria's little mysteries. He smiled to himself. Given Maria's enthusiasm, it may not take as long as he first thought…

"I never dreamed I'd be this happy, Georg," Maria interrupted Georg's stray thoughts as she looked out over the children in the distance, across to the horizon where the sea met the blue sky.

"You know, I actually had a dream a few weeks ago…" Georg cleared his throat, wondering how his unguarded thoughts had led him to a dream, lost and forgotten in his unconscious. But somehow, as he stood here with Maria leaning against him, pieces of it were finding their way to the front of his mind. "It was very similar to this..."

"Really?" Maria turned in his arms to face him.

"Mmmhmm… We were standing on a beach, watching the children," Georg reached up to brush her hair back from her face. "I dreamed it when we were back at the villa. It was one night in your room, when you were ill," he smiled at her.

"But how could you have known back then that we'd be here now? On a beach?" Maria asked. "What made you think I'd even be here with you?"

"Darling, I've already told you that I wasn't going to let you go," Georg gave her a lopsided grin as he cupped her cheek. "I promised myself the morning you returned to the villa that you weren't leaving. I was prepared do anything to keep you from returning to the Abbey."

"Anything…?" Maria arched a brow at him.

"I would have locked you in the attic if I had to," he smiled. _God, she was even more gorgeous with the wind in her hair._ He bent down and brushed her lips with his.

"Georg!" Maria playfully smacked him, then turned her back to him. "The children will see us…" she threw over her shoulder. But it wasn't really the children she was worried about. Truth be known, she was worried about herself and how little self-control she possessed when it came to him. She was never sure she could trust herself with those dark blue eyes, that cocky grin, the rich baritone that wrapped itself around her like warm, gooey toffee. He was impossible to resist.

Holding herself a little tighter, it was true. She was always teetering on getting completely and hopelessly lost in Georg. Forever fearful she'd forget all about the children and whoever else might be around. Fearful she'd forget everything. Surely, this thing would wear off? Perhaps in time he wouldn't have such a pull over her? Maybe this is why couples were supposed to go on a honeymoon after their wedding?

She smiled as she felt his arms snake around her waist again, pulling her back against him. "Are you sure it's the children you're worried about?" he whispered dangerously in her ear.

"Really, Georg, I have no idea what you mean…" she tried her best to pretend his words, his hot breath against her, were having no effect. He was right. She knew it. He knew it. "Anyway, how could you have been so certain I'd stay?" she tried to sound a little offhand as she tried to change the subject to safer ground.

"Well, I really hadn't thought that far ahead," Georg nuzzled against her hair. "You have to understand, Fraulein, I hadn't expected you to abandon ship the night of the party." They could joke about it now, but reading her note for the first time in his study had been devastating. It had felt like his world had been ripped out from underneath him. He'd been an idiot. It wasn't until then that he realised how far he'd fallen for her.

Georg held her tighter as he glanced up and down the footpath that ran along the beach. There was only an elderly couple in the distance, walking away from them. _God, they were practically alone!_ "Darling, believe me, when I read your note that night, that's when I realised."

"Mmmmm, realised what?" Maria asked, feigning indifference.

"That I love you…" he whispered against her as he drew her earlobe into his mouth. He was sure the children were too far away to notice.

"I'm still not so sure, Georg," Maria interrupted his thoughts. "I think you were very lucky I fell ill and had no choice but to stay."

Maria closed her eyes. She couldn't think, she'd forgotten where she was. All of her senses were concentrated on Georg. The tickle of his tongue, sending a tremor through her that she was struggling to control. The warmth of his body, his strong arms around her. That comforting, musky scent, which even the sea being carried on the breeze couldn't drown out. His breath was setting her on fire, his words intoxicating.

"That's when I realised I was in the middle, Maria," Georg was suddenly serious. "You see, I realised I'd fallen hopelessly in love with you over the summer…" He pulled her tighter against him. "When you returned, there's was no way you were leaving again…" he kissed her neck, smiling as he sent another shiver along her spine.

"I tried to pinpoint when it began. I've been trying to remember when I first started falling in love," he whispered, his hot breath against the shell of her ear. He'd been wracking his brain, trying to identify that moment, the exact instant, when something, everything, inexplicably shifted. "I didn't think I could," everything had happened so fast, how could he possibly? "But I've worked it out. I know when it began…" he declared triumphantly.

"And when was that, Georg?" Maria whispered, a little out of breath. His warm breath against her having the same effect as the tender caress of his hands. Her eyes were still closed, and she could swear they were the only two people in the world.

"That night at the dinner table," he announced proudly.

Maria's eyes opened, and her head turned slightly toward him against his chest. What on Earth was he talking about? Which night? "Dinner…?" she questioned.

"That night at the dinner table, when you sat on that ridiculous pine cone!" he reminded her.

"What…? Oh!" Maria exclaimed as she turned in his arms to face him. She let out a gasp as he pulled her tighter against him before bending to catch her lips in a slow, sensual kiss, filled with so much love. So much promise.

"I knew the first time you blew that silly whistle…" she whispered against his lips.

THE END

 **Thank you everyone who has read, reviewed, followed and favourited my story – you're all the reason we got here eventually! Every writer will agree – you're the ones who keep us ploughing on through those times when our ideas dry up, inspiration evades us, and the next chapter seems an impossibility. Thank you!**

 **As always, this story got away from me. What was intended to be no more than five chapters, somehow exploded into many more and took us to places I hadn't planned. Apologies for all the diversions along the way! Apologies for the length of this chapter – it was supposed to be a short wrap up…**

 **Please check out Radiohead's "I Promise". It was the inspiration for this story, way back when Maria fled on the night of the party. It's a gorgeous song, truly beautiful. A good friend moved to London for work recently, and we were taking turns to exchange "A Song A Day" and I sent him the link to "I Promise". He sent me a text later that day telling me he'd just listened to it for the tenth time. I was rapt that he loved it as much as I do, but unfortunately, he'd lost touch with the time zones – his late afternoon in London was two in the morning back home! But he was right, an amazing song. I still can't believe it was recorded and not released for 20 years…**

 **I say it often, but I don't own TSOM. I'll stop having a lend for a short while. But I do have a few new ideas kicking around!**

 **"Immerse your soul in love"**


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